Jan explained about the communal wardrobe and Renata laughed jeeringly.
'How gullible can you be! Of course all those clothes were bought for me. That dress is my thing and my colour. I'd look a darned sight better in it than you do.'
Jan felt she had indeed been gulled, and Alex's message was an insult. He had expected that she would wear the garment that evening, and Renata would guess for whom it had been intended. He wanted to show her what she had forfeited by standing him up. Of course the whole set-up, the beautiful cabin, the array of gowns, even the underwear had been prepared for Renata. Alex, with his subtle revenges, had derived satisfaction from her occupancy of it and her use of the clothes, knowing how it would sting Renata when she was told about it, as Jan in her simplicity would be sure to do. Her former antipathy against Alexandros Leandris revived. The man was a callous brute. Every action of his since leaving Kusadasi had been motivated by a desire to spite Renata. By flattery he had ensured that she would wear the dress, and his support downstairs had not been kindness but aimed at her cousin. Renata had to be punished for rejecting him before he reinstated her.
'Then you'd better take it,' Jan said calmly, disguising her indignation. 'There are several other oddments in that case which I shan't need now you've brought my things.' She smiled wryly. 'Since they were meant for you,, you must have them. Take the case as well.'
Renata glanced curiously at Jan, surprised that she was so willing to relinquish her spoils.
'Green chiffon isn't your thing,' she remarked, and went eagerly to inspect the contents of the case. She pulled out the silk nightdress. 'No, this certainly is not you, but are you sure you don't want them? You haven't many pretty things.'
'As you say, they aren't me,' Jan returned stonily. She did not want anything that reminded her of Alex. She untied the sash at her waist 'This dress doesn't even fit me.' She let it fall about her feet and Renata snatched it up.
'What a way to treat a model gown! Sure, it's wasted on you.'
She held it against herself and the colour brought out the green in her eyes. Jan felt a pang, she had thought the dress became her, but it would look vastly different upon Renata. But it had always been so. Anything pretty and decorative enhanced her cousin's beauty and emphasised her own plainness. That was why, long ago, she had given up bothering about her looks. Once when she was about eight years old they had been given identical party dresses and Renata looked liked the fairy on top of a Christmas tree, but when Jan had caught sight of her own image, her plain little face and straight brown hair done in unbecoming plaits, rising from the lace yoke of the frock, had given her a shock. She looked like an ugly travesty of her cousin. The contrast was too painful for a sensitive child and she had refused to go to the party, saying she felt sick. Her aunt, with scant sympathy and no inkling of what had upset her, put her to bed before accompanying her own child. Renata, kinder then, had brought back the cracker and small present allocated to her with their hostess's regrets and commiserated with Jan for missing all the fun.
'It was very unfair that you should be taken ill.'
'Yes, it was very unfair that nature had made one child a beauty, and the other an ugly duckling, as she had described herself to Alex, but it was no one's fault and in time she had become resigned to it. To her credit she had never been jealous of Renata's loveliness and she was not so now, green chiffon was created for girls like her cousin, but she did resent Alex's duplicity. To declare that he could not bear to see anyone else wearing the dress which he had chosen for Renata, and must have been envisaging her in it all the time she was wearing it, was an unnecessary piece of insincerity. In response to Renata's remark she returned:
'It is. I ... I don't care for fancy things. But you can't blame me for what happened. You know you begged me to take your message because you were scared stiff.'
'I only had a moment's panic,' Renata declared. 'You shouldn't have taken any notice of it. Every girl has nerves before getting married. It's a big step to take, especially to a foreigner, and if you'd had more savvy you'd have understood. There was no need for this ... this masquerade of yours, all I needed was a little reassurance. Since Alex afterwards sent for me, it shows he's discovered he can't do without me.' She preened herself. 'We'll be married in London, and we'll live in Athens. Alex says he's got a lovely house there, more modern than this mausoleum.'
Jan, arrayed only in her slip, was repacking the borrowed suitcase, and included the blue and white day dress she had been wearing. Renata had convinced herself that Alex had meant marriage all along, which was not what she had said in Kusadasi. He must have been more definite when he met her again, and after the enforced hours spent in her own company, her cousin's glorious beauty must have struck him afresh and wrung a proposal from him. It was as she had anticipated, but her heart felt like lead. She had never accepted before that Renata was spoilt and selfish, her love for her cousin had blinded her to her faults, but Renata's unjust accusations, her willful misunderstanding of the difficult situation Jan had been in for her sake, which deserved gratitude, not blame, was revealing a new and unpleasant side of her character. Not only was she jealous, she was being malicious.
'It's unfortunate you have to stay in the same house as he is,' Renata went on, for she could not rid herself of the suspicion that Jan was trying to annex Alex, though she could have no hope of success. 'It must be very embarrassing for him when he must be longing to be rid of you, but as we can't tell Daddy the truth, I suppose we'll have to continue with the silly secretary story for the time being.' Her gaze sharpened. 'Does Mrs. Leandris know the truth?'
'Naturally,' Jan's tone was dry, 'since she doesn't need a secretary.'
Regretfully she placed the controversial green dress last in the case and closed the lid.
'I wonder how Alex bamboozled her into accepting you,' Renata exclaimed. 'She looks a sensible woman, but he can be a cunning devil when he wants his way. It's not right you should impose on her. Perhaps it would be better to confess everything to Daddy.'
'Do, if you think he'll appreciate your conduct,' Jan told her bluntly. 'But I shan't disguise the fact that you were going to elope with Alex without a promise of marriage, if only to protect myself.'
Some of Renata's confidence faded. 'He wouldn't believe you,' she said doubtfully. 'He was always sure Alex meant to marry me.'
'Yes, but you weren't,' Jan said brutally.
'Come off it, Rena, you were in a blue funk that evening because Alex was not going to marry you and you'd just realised the full implications of what you were about to do.'
All the colour drained from Renata's face and she slapped Jan's cheek.
'How dare you say that!'
'I dare because it's the truth and you know it.'
Jan turned away, gently touching her face where Renata had struck her. Her slap had been hard, but it did not hurt her nearly as much as her injustice.
Presently, in a shaky voice, Renata asked:
'Did he, when you were afloat together, tell you he wouldn't marry me?'
'No.' Jan wished she could say yes, Renata deserved that, but she could not be anything but honest. 'He said some foul things about women in general as he often does, which would indicate that he's been mixed up with some bitchy types in his time, but he implied that he was contemplating marrying you. You see, he needs a wife to produce heirs, so why not you?'
She had the satisfaction of seeing her cousin wince at her plain speaking. Renata did not care for children.
'If he's thinking I'm a sort of brood mare, he's got another think coming,' she declared heatedly.
'It'll be expected of you, Rena.' Jan was human enough to enjoy Renata's dismay.
'Oh well, I suppose I could go through with it once,' Renata conceded. She stroked her body lovingly. 'To be swollen and disfigured... ugh!'
'Most women consider it's worth it,' Jan remarked.
'A lot of women haven't any figure to lose,' Renata retorted. 'Of course, being plain y
ou wouldn't understand my feelings.'
'No, I don't.' Jan herself would love to have a child, especially if Alex were its father. 'But cheer up, you may discover you possess latent maternal instincts.'
'As likely as flying to Mars,' Renata returned scornfully. 'But I'm sure Alex will give me some wonderful jewels if I present him with a son.' She gave Jan an arch look. 'Would you say he loves me?'
Jan laughed brittlely. 'Mr. Leandris' feelings are a closed book, I don't think he's got any tender ones. He admires you, he wants to possess you, and if that's enough for you, you'll get him.'
All unbidden, the recollection of Stephanos and the gentleness |n Alex's voice when he spoke to him recurred to her. The man was capable of softer feelings, but she did not think Renata could arouse them. She would make him a satisfactory wife, she reflected a little bitterly, he would be proud of her looks, subdue her will and get himself heirs on her body, while Renata would have her fill of luxury and expensive baubles, but as for love, that elusive precious thing, there would be little of that in their union.
Renata had recovered her self-assured poise, which Jan had temporarily shattered.
'Of course I've got him,' she declared triumphantly. 'I'm sorry I slapped you, but you are irritating at times. You always blurt out facts without any finesse, which I believe you call being honest, but I consider lack of tact. I don't think there's much love around, it's something I've never experienced.'
She moved restlessly across to the window and fingered the louvred blind. 'Poor Denis,' she murmured, more to herself than to Jan. 'He was sweet, but he couldn't give me what I want. Alex will' She swung round to face her cousin. 'Alex and I'll rub along as well as most couples and I'll get used to him in time. Are you going to come down again?'
Jan shook her head. 'I haven't unpacked and I've nothing to put on. Please tell Mrs. Leandris I'm tired and I've got a bit of a headache, so I've gone to bed. I don't suppose Uncle Jeremy and Alex will notice I'm not there.'
'Quite likely,' Renata agreed. 'Daddy's so vague, and Alex has no thought for anyone but me.' She threw Jan a challenging look as if daring her to deny it. Put the case outside your door and I'll get someone to fetch it. Goodnight, Jan.'
When she had gone, Jan began to unpack her luggage which had been brought up while she was at dinner. She was tired and her head did ache. She felt a great longing for her own country where it was cool and green. Istanbul and the Bosphorus were beautiful, but it seemed to her excited fancy that there was something sensual and decadent about the atmosphere, an aura of past sins and excesses which was an incitement to passion of which she desired no further experience. Renata's attitude had wounded her deeply. They had always been like sisters; her simplicity had not yet learned that the commonest cause for a rift between women, however close, was a joint interest in the same man, but she would have denied strenuously that she had any interest in Alexandras Leandris, though it would not have been quite true, and at that moment she was hating him for disrupting her life. She thought regretfully of the state of placid calm in which she had existed before she had met him, but which she feared she would never be able to regain. The Janet Reynolds who had disembarked at Istanbul was not the same girl who had boarded the Artemis at Kusadasi. If it meant she was growing up, it was a painful process.
She hung her plain dresses in the wardrobe provided; she did possess a semi-evening dress, a dark red affair which did not suit her, and she could imagine Alex's look of distaste if he saw her in it. It would be a sad comedown after the green chiffon. But his interest in her appearance had only been perfunctory, though she could improve it now she had regained her cheques, but it was not worth while buying any more summer clothes with her return to England imminent, and autumn ahead. She owned one becoming garment, a caftan-style dressing gown which she had bought in Kusadasi on an extravagant impulse, in a rich shade of blue with gold braid. She slipped it on and put the alien case outside her door as Renata had requested.
Due to her siesta, she was not at all sleepy and the room felt close. She opened the windows wide and went out on to the balcony seeking a breath of air. It was a substantial structure built of cedar wood, enclosed by intricate latticework which formed a balustrade. It was high enough for her to rest her elbows upon it as she gazed out at the waterway. The moon was rising behind the Anatolian mountains, throwing a luminous radiance into the sky. It occurred to her that the latticework had once covered the whole balcony, for it was an old house, and the view through its meshes was all its female inmates were allowed to see of the outside world. Such incarceration was revolting to a Western mind,- but doubtless Alex would have approved of it. Alex! She must not allow her mind to keep turning towards him. She stayed there a long time, while the house sank into silence as its mistress and the servants retired, after the departure of the visitors. Gradually her taut nerves relaxed, as she surveyed the dark water and the moon, and with a little sigh she turned away to re-enter her room.
'Jan!'
She stopped as if turned to stone, her heart racing. Vaguely she had supposed that Alex would escort the Reynolds back to the Hilton, overlooking the fact that he was staying in his mother's house. His unmistakable utterance of her name had the eerie effect of a cry from limbo. Then she saw a dark shape standing on the balcony next to hers, divided from her by a low partition. The room behind him was not illuminated and he was only a shadow in which the red eye of the cheroot he was smoking glowed ominously. With almost a sense of shock she realised he must be occupying the bedroom next to hers.
He threw the stub of his cheroot over the balcony parapet and it described a wide arc, dropping sparks as it fell. His action penetrated her numbed senses and she cried reprovingly:
'You shouldn't do that! There might be someone below.'
'Probably is, waiting hopefully to retrieve it,' he returned. 'Why did you run away without saying goodnight?'
'I didn't think my absence would be noticed.'
'That's no excuse for lack of manners. Naturally I noticed—I'm not unobservant.'
'I didn't mean to be rude,' she said coldly. 'I sent a message by Rena. Since I was up here there didn't seem much point in coming down again.'
'Ah yes, the devoted cousins came up for a heart-to-heart.' There was a mocking note in his voice. 'Renata must have been eager to express her thanks for all you had endured on her behalf.'
'Of course.' She had no intention of revealing to him what Renata had said. 'I thought you'd gone back with her. I'd no idea you were next door.'
'There was no need to escort them, Reynolds had hired a car, and this is my home, when I'm here.'
'Yes, I'd forgotten. It's late, so I'll wish you a belated goodnight.'
Jan moved towards the open door of her room in which she had left the light burning, but he agilely climbed over the low barrier and stood barring her way. She saw then that he had undressed and was attired in a dark silk robe which made him look very tall. Since his face was in shadow she could not see his expression, but he looked intimidating.
'That's quite a becoming garment you've got on,' he remarked, for the light spilling through the doorway illuminated her figure though he was a silhouette. 'Apparently you have some dress sense, though it doesn't extend to the rest of your wardrobe. Why don't you let your cousin choose your clothes? She'd know what would become you.'
'Rena is not interested in my appearance, and apparently you choose hers. She was sure the dress you lent me was selected for her.'
'What the hell are you talking about?' he demanded.
'You know perfectly well. When next you see it, it'll be on the person for whom it was intended.'
'So Renata has been acquisitive ...'
She interrupted him quickly, not wanting to prolong the painful subject:
'Would you mind going back to your room, Mr. Leandris? It's late and I want to go to bed.'
'Alone?'
'That sort of remark is automatic with you, isn't it? But I'm very tired, I've had a t
rying day and I've no energy to fence with you tonight.'
'My dear girl, I've no wish to fight you. You shall go to your virginal bed, but first won't you say goodnight properly?'
'I have said goodnight, and in the only way that's proper between you and me.'
'We may have different ideas about that,' he countered.
'Oh, go away!' she exclaimed irritably. Turning round, she walked back to the balustrade and stood with her back to him staring blindly out to sea. Why must he persist in baiting her? He had got his Renata, who surely was enough for any man. She leaned her elbows on top of the parapet and covered her face with her hands.
'Jan.' He was beside her, though she had not heard him move. Gently he took her hands away from her face. 'Not crying, are you? I'd hate to make you weep.'
The tenderness in his voice almost had that effect, but she stiffened. It was all put on; if he could not get round her one way he would try another. He was Alexandres the Conqueror, and even plain Janet could not be allowed to escape. She looked up at him defiantly:
'No, I'm not crying, but we're not on your yacht now, we're in your mother's house, and I'm sure she'd be shocked if she knew where you were.'
'She wouldn't, she has a modern outlook.'
'Well, I haven't, if by that you mean she'd condone permissiveness. What do you want with me, Alex? You know our ... our association is ended.'
He was staring down into her upturned face and in the half light his eyes seemed luminous. They really were cats' eyes, she thought irrelevantly. But she must not yield to his charisma.
'I'm sorry to hear you say that,' he told her. 'As for what I want... you know that, but you won't give it to me.'
'Certainly not, when you're going to marry someone else!'
'Would you marry me if I asked you?'
She snatched her hands free. 'Again certainly not.'
'Might I ask why? I don't think I'm repulsive to you.'
Borrowed plumes Page 11
