by Kailin Gow
And I didn't like it.
My mother came bustling in, her arms piled high with papers of her own. “Insurance quotes,” she rolled her eyes as she set the papers down on the kitchen table. “Honey, do you mind if we order in tonight? It's going to be a busy one for me. Some kid's having a pool party tomorrow – then we have a wedding and a Polynesian Trade Convention.” She sighed. “Or we could go over to the hotel. They have a restaurant. And I could talk to Antonio about whether it's possible to fit giant balloon animals in the main ballroom.”
It was only a five-minute walk from our house, a small structure technically on Cutter property we had leased for the duration of her job. “I could go for some hotel food,” I said, remembering the taste of the fresh barbeque at the luau. Then I remembered that Chance was probably there. “On second thought,” I said. “Why don't we go for pizza?”
“Honey,” my mother sighed. “I thought you loved the hotel food. And I get free dinners there...”
I knew my mother didn't like to spend money unless she had to. I nodded and we grabbed our things. I loaded up my bookbag again, counting on finding a quiet place to work in the hotel.
“That's some bookbag,” said my mother. “They working you hard at Aeros?”
I shrugged, not wanting to admit my worry or troubles. As far as my mother was concerned, I was the perfect child – stress-free, self-sufficient. “Nothing I can't handle,” I said. My mother had a busy weekend; this wasn't the time to bother her.
My mother beamed with pride. “That's my girl,” she said, patting me on the shoulder. “You make any friends today?”
“Yeah,” I admitted. “There was this one girl in my wrestling class...”
“Wrestling class?” My mother looked surprised.
“Yeah – it was the only class left with free spots. But her name's Alice. She seemed nice. She lent me some spare gym clothes.” I neglected to mention that the clothes gave me the bust and rear end of a 1950's pinup girl.
“That seems nice of her,” said my mother vaguely. I knew the expression on her face. She was mentally crunching numbers for the weekend parties. I was tempted to ask her about the Cutter Scholarship, but I decided against it. From the look on my mother's face, now was not the time to have a serious conversation.
We arrived at the hotel and my mother took up residence in her office, clearing away part of her desk for me to use. This is what we'd always done, she and I – I'd done my homework in some of the finest luxury hotels in the world. We ordered from the restaurant, my mother eagerly flashing her employee card, and set to work.
No sooner had I gotten through the first chapter of Aeros history (“Pre-European Peoples in Aeros – Settlements and Structures.”) than I was interrupted by a knock on the door.
“Come in,” my mother said, not looking up from her piles of work.
Antonio opened the door, and my mother leaped to her feet.
“Don't get up!” he said. “Relax!” His eyes fell on me. “Mackenzy! Just the person I wanted to see...” He laughed a little. “Well, actually, I came to see your mother – but seeing you makes me think you might be a better bet.”
“What is it?” my mother took off her glasses.
“One of the servers for tonight's Bamford birthday just called in sick – and the rest of the staff is working on the Memberton Wedding on the other side of the complex.”
“The Bamford birthday? But that was supposed to go off without a hitch – I confirmed their shifts this morning!”
“Last-minute allergy,” Antonio sighed. “I don't normally handle the servers myself, but I ran into the girl throwing up in the corner of the pool house and she told me herself. Apparently she didn't realize the Polynesian rice dish we served for lunch contained peanuts...”
“Oh, dear...” my mother said. “Do you want me to telephone the reserve list? I'm sure someone could fill in...”
“Actually, I was wondering if Mackenzy might be up to the job,” said Antonio. “You'd be paid, of course,” he added quickly. “Server rates. And it might be a chance for you to meet some of the younger staffers here at the hotel – make some friends.”
I thought of Varun and my heart leaped. I was eager to see him again, I realized, even if he hadn't filled me with the same frustration that Chance had done.
“Sure,” I said. “What time's the party?”
“It's at six,” he said. “Nothing too onerous – just make sure none of the twelve-year-olds run off into the woods, call the caterer if pizza's running low, dodge the food fights, don' t burn yourself on the birthday candles. That sort of thing. Do you think that you can manage?”
I thought once more of Chance.
“Do I have time to go back home to change?” I asked my mother. This time, if I ran into either Chance or Varun, I wouldn't be caught wearing undersized booty shorts.
I might even wear makeup.
Chapter 7
I sprang across the lawn separating our cottage from the main hotel. I had torn upstairs, ransacked my closet for clothes, and done an emergency tweeze of my eyebrows. All actions that I'd never normally bother taking – but somehow tonight was different. If I ran into Chance again, I wanted him to know exactly what kind of mistake he was making by ignoring me. And if it took a little bit more mascara and a slightly tighter dress to do that, then I was willing to put in the effort. I caught a look at myself in the mirror and frowned. My painted face, my two-sizes-too-small dress I wore to the freshman dance – it didn't look like me. Some other girl – more polished, but somehow less original – stared back at me: a face that could have been any one of the meticulously clad girls in Haven's retinue. I sighed – clearly the over-the-top look just didn't work for me. I rolled my eyes and returned to the bathroom sink, scrubbing off the makeup and squeezing my way out of the old dress, changing into a light blue-and-gold summer dress with a slightly vintage-looking skirt: one of my favorites. It may not have had the oomph power of the other dress, but I figured I'd rather be comfortable than try playing the part of a femme fatale if it meant being unable to fit a single slice of pizza into my constricted stomach.
By this time, however, it was already almost six, and I realized with a flash of annoyance that I was running late. I rushed out of the house, barely even stopping to catch my breath, running as fast as I could over the lawns.
I coughed and spluttered as I came to a stop by the front beach lawn, where the party was taking place. My cheeks were burning red from the effort – providing me with a warm glow more flattering than my attempts at sticking on blush had been. But I at last caught my breath and walked over to the party.
Twenty or so twelve-year-old boys were in various stages of messiness, jumping in and around the enormous pool, resting on floats and swim noodle. A myriad of chocolate stains on their faces and trunks made it clear that they'd already had the first round of snacks; the smell of freshly-baked pizza wafted from the kitchen.
Varun was standing behind the large buffet table, wearing nothing but a pair of swimming trunks. In the evening light, his muscles glistened more visibly than ever. He didn't look like Chance, to be sure – Chance's lithe, sinewy body was darker – but was nevertheless every bit as handsome. Good genes, I thought to myself, as Varun caught my eye and shot me a happy grin. “Looks like you're not tired of me yet, Mac! Or did you just come for the free pies?”
“Hey, kids!” he called. “Who's ready for pizza? I hear that one lucky birthday boy is getting extra pepperoni and sausage. And a MONSTER-SIZED crust!” He had that rare talent of capturing kids' imaginations without ever condescending to them – and it was clear that the kids sensed it, too. One after the other, they all jumped up, shouting “Me! Me! Me!”
“Okay, everyone. Jump in the shower then head through to the dining room. My buddy Brandon will be serving out the pies.”
I was surprised at how easily they followed his directives. I'd never known twelve-year-old boys to be particularly good at following directions. But Varun
's warm voice and easy confidence seemed to inspire in them all a desire to please.
So, you ready to lead the activities after dinner?” Varun asked me as the last of the children filed past into the dining room. “I was thinking we could lead a game of Marco Polo, then water-tag. How does that sound?”
I blushed, realizing my mistake. Everyone else was in swimming clothes – except me. In my rush to figure out what my most flattering outfit was, I had forgotten the most important part. “I – uh – I forgot my swimsuit,” I said, feeling stupid. “I could run back to get it...” I sighed, thinking of the jog across the field.
“No problem,” said Varun. “The hotel gift shop sells swimsuits...”
“Oh, I couldn't...” I didn't want to admit to Varun that any bikini sold in the Cutter Imperial Hotel would probably amount to half my mother's monthly salary.
“Hey – they give me free stuff all the time there! It's a small perk, but a good one. Uncle Tony wants the staff to treat me like everyone else, of course...but I'm sure I could score you one for free if my man Tom's behind the counter. You just hold on!”
He disappeared, only to emerge moments later carrying a hot pink bikini. “I hope you like Electric Scarlet,” he said. “That was all that was available in your size.” Now it was Varun's turn to blush. “I mean, I kind of guessed your size.”
“As long as you figured out I'm not the same size as Alice,” I said. Varun looked confused, and so I regaled him with the tale of my mortification that day at wrestling. Varun tried to maintain a respectful silence, but burst into laughter when I told him about Misty's response to the boys' cat-calls.
“Knowing the guys in that class,” he said. “They probably deserved it.”
I slipped into a changing room, finding that – unlike Alice's gym clothes – the bikini fit me perfectly. Varun's “kind of guessing” had evidently been based on a more detailed study of my curves.
I tied my scarf around my hips and re-emerged.
“Oh my...” Varun let out a gasp. For a moment, his eyes seemed to go dark, like a clouded sea, and something like pain came over his face. As his eyes lingered upon me, it looked like he was seeing something else, someone else. He wasn't looking at me at all but through me, his mind and face clouded up with something painful.
“What is it?”
That was enough to break the spell.
“Oh, nothing,” he said. “You just – uh – you forgot to take off the tag.” He came closer and took hold of my bared shoulder, pulling on the plastic tag. I could feel his rough, warm palms against my skin, as he touched me, my body ached to lean back into his. His fingers lightly traced the blades of my shoulders as he pulled out the tag.
“There you go,” he said, staring at the floor. “Now you're good to go. Really good, I mean. I mean – you know, the bathing suit. It fits. I guess I got the size right and everything.”
Varun's embarrassment amused me. From what Coach Matthews had hinted at, Varun was pretty used to luring girls into his embraces. But from the way Varun acted around me, he seemed more than a little tongue-tied.
“Hello, new girl!” A cute floppy-haired Asian boy with a pearly smile and a surfboard in hand sauntered out of the dining area. “I see you brought entertainment for the grownups too, eh Varun?”
“Brandon, shouldn't you be slopping out pizza?”
“We're waiting for a second batch from the kitchen. Little monsters swallowed them all down already. Sally's making sure they don't kill each other in the meanwhile. Anyway, who are you?” He turned to me.
“This is Mac Evers,” said Varun. “She goes to our school.”
“Nice one!” Brandon laughed. “If we had girls like you at Aeros, Mac, I definitely would have met you by now.”
“I transferred in this morning,” I said. “I'm a new senior. We used to live on Angel Island.”
“I'll do my best to make you feel welcome,” Brandon took a couple steps towards me, getting ever so slightly too close.
“Welcome, Brandon. Not harassed.” Varun rolled his eyes. “Told you, Mac. Fresh meat.”
“She gave me a scare, though!” Brandon kept talking. “When I saw her from a distance, in that hot pink bikini – you know, she always used to wear pink. And from the back, you know...God, I thought I was seeing a ghost.”
Varun visibly stiffened. “It was the only color left in the gift shop.”
“I was like ‘whoa! Is that Jana? Am I seeing something spooky?’ Really Vertigo, right?” Brandon kept laughing, but Varun's silence made it clear that he was evidently not amused. “Sorry, man.”
“Go get your pizza.” Varun looked away.
Luckily, we were interrupted by another girl – Sally, according to the name-tag – who grabbed hold of us all at once. “You are not leaving me alone with these brats, Brandon! One of them asked me if he could touch my breasts! Little pervert. You guys come too”
She dragged us into the dining room, where we all began serving out the next round of pizza pies. I breathed a sigh of relief as the awkwardness passed. Who was this Jana – and why had the mention of her name made Varun so upset?
“So, is that the new trendy thing or what?” Brandon came over to me. “Hanging out at kids' parties?”
“My mom works here,” I said. “Antonio asked me to help out. Figured I'd meet some of the younger staff as well.”
“That's how he lures us all in,” Varun gave a mock-sigh, his annoyance evidently forgotten. “Charming us with pizza.”
“Hey, it works!” Brandon stuffed a pie into his mouth. “Next up is surfing, Mac. You ready to take these little perverts out for a spin?”
The party passed without a hitch. The boys gleefully played Marco Polo and water-tag in the pool before heading to the ocean for a spot of surfing. As Sally had suggested, they were a little too keen to stare at my bikini top, and I heard a few snickers from the more obnoxious loudmouths, but we managed to get through the evening without too many accidents. At last, as the sun began to set on the water, its orange flames shooting through the dark ocean, we returned to land to roast marshmallows. Varun vanished into the hotel, returning with his guitar in tow, and began to play as Sally, Brandon, and I helped man the making of the s'mores.
“Down on the island/where everything's lovely
Down on the island/where everything's fine
I knew a girl, I knew my true love.
Down in the waters I made her mine.”
Varun's voice rang out true and clear – a light, lovely sound. The cool light of the sunset made his golden hair shine even brighter than before.
But down on the island/where everything changes
Down on the island/where time goes by
I knew a girl, I knew my true love
Down in the fires I watched her die...”
Varun's face grew mournful once again as he played, and I couldn't help but wonder what lay behind his bright blue eyes. Did Varun, like Chance, have secrets too?
After the kids left, we began clearing up, paper plate by paper plate.
“So, isn't Chance supposed to be here?” I asked Varun, trying not to sound too eager. “Your dad said he was supposed to learn the ropes of the family business and all that.”
Varun snorted. “Yeah – he'll learn what he needs to know in a year. That'll take. Some of us have been working with this hotel since we were kids. I'm sure he's busy on a date or snorting cocaine or whatever it is he does.”
“I take it you guys aren't close?”
“Is it that obvious?” Varun smiled. “Sorry – I mean, I should let you make your own judgments about him. Maybe he's changed.”
“He wasn't exactly warm and fuzzy with me, either,” I said.
“Last time I saw him,” Varun sighed. “Last time I saw him was when Jana died.” He took a deep breath. “Three years ago.”
“Jana? Was that the girl – I thought that was in England.”
Varun gave a dark laugh. “No, not that girl. You see, Chanc
e gets around quite a bit. A lot of girls seem to get burned up when he's around. The rumor about Eton – I don't know if it's true. Maybe he was setting fires again. Maybe some girl just left her cigarette burning out by mistake. But Jana...”
“The girl Brandon mentioned,” I said quickly. The girl I look like. “I saw that he upset you.”
“Yeah,” he walked over to pick up another pile of discarded plates. “I don't usually like to talk about it. But I feel like I can talk to you, you know? Like I can trust you.”
“You can trust me,” I said quickly.
“I'm glad. Listen, Jana – she was Haven's best friend. She was a great person – really nice, smart. Interesting, too. She and I – you know. She was my girlfriend. Until Chance came back for the summer.”
“And you think he had something to do with – with what happened to Jana?”
Varun shrugged. “I don't think he stopped it,” he said, his voice growing bitter. “He's just as responsible as if...” He stopped short. “Never mind,” he said. “She loved him, you know. A whole year with her – and then Chance showed up and suddenly it was like I never existed. And they started taking risks together, you know. Going to places on the island where it wasn't safe. Fire-dancing with the locals without being trained. Like – hopped up on adrenaline. And I know that wasn't her, Mac. That wasn't what she was like – she wasn't stupid. But she loved Chance so much she was willing to take any risk possible...and he didn't watch out for her. He just cared about himself. About being cool. And he as good as killed her for it. I would have watched out for her.”
We fell silent. Varun took my hand and led me down the beach. As we left the lawn, we came to a lush garden, studded with tropical flowers. The sunset gave them all an unearthly glow – yellow, pink, and orange. The night was just starting to fall over the inky sea.
