I wasn’t evil for having these feelings inside of me. There were much simpler words to describe what was inside of me and evil was not one of them. Lonely, perhaps, sad even, but not evil. I was simply human and the feelings I felt for Adrian were real, hence I would not allow this manipulative little book to shame me for my genuine feelings.
Speaking of which, what were my feelings for Adrian? A minute ago I was planning my escape route out of his life and now…
I sat in the middle of the library and rocked back and forth as I hugged my knees. Unable to contain my curiosity, I found myself being pulled back to the dusty red book. Reluctantly opening the pages, I laid my eyes on the next chapter. The text read, “God created all things living, and then He created man. God named the man Adam, and the woman He named Lilith.”
There was that name again.
Who was she?
Samael’s father told me that Adrian had a sister and they were both evil. Could Lilith be that woman in the Garden? My mind was scaring me and I needed to get off this mental roller coaster ASAP or my brain would snap. What I was reading sounded way too similar to my dreams.
Not knowing what else to do, I grabbed my phone and punched in the numbers I had dialed so many times in the past. There was only one person who could help me understand all this.
Ray answered on the first ring.
I was actually surprised my call even went through. Despite my abrupt withdrawal from him last night, he had still unblocked my number and accepted my call.
He sounded tired. “What do you want, Sid?” He was obviously drained, almost like he no longer had the energy to keep entertaining the thought of us being happy together.
“Ray!” I shouted into the receiver. I didn’t have time to worry about the state of our relationship at that moment, I needed help. “Think about all the books you’ve ever read…did Adam and Eve ever take up other lovers?”
He postponed my question. “Sid, I’m about to go to church and explain to my parents why you’re not with me. Can we discuss philosophy later?”
“No, it’s important!” I shouted; tears spilling down my cheeks as confusion washed over me. I felt like I was drowning in a sea of bewildering turbulence, the angry waves slamming me into the jagged rocks. I needed to get my footing back onto solid ground. I needed the water out of my lungs and air to clear my foggy brain.
“No, Sid. I’ve never read a religion that spoke of Adam and Eve mating with other partners. God created them to be mated to each other for life.”
“What about Lilith? You never read about her?”
There was a long pause.
“Is this some kind of trap to try to get me in trouble? I told you already. I’m not seeing Lilly anymore.”
I hung up on him. Ray couldn’t help me and I really didn’t feel like discussing his manipulative little mistress. I eagerly crawled back to the book and frantically began searching the chapter where I had left off.
I found the yellowed page and skimmed through, reading the words faster than my brain could process. I felt as if I were trying to decipher the da Vinci code. The story continued, stating that Adam and Lilith were created from the same dirt of the earth and that there was no master or leader but instead, a whole lot of bickering.
Lilith told Adam, “I will not be below you, in life or during sex. I want the superior position.”
Oh my.
I don’t know if it was Ray’s earlier comparison but now my mind went directly to Lilly. It sounded like something that slut would say.
Going on with my unorthodox bible lesson, the story explained that Adam argued with Lilith that he was the superior one. He eventually sought God’s counsel and being the sexist that He was, God agreed with Adam.
Lilly became so enraged that she changed form and flew into the air, disappearing out of sight. God sent three angels to overtake Lilith and return her to Adam, but she refused. And as her rebellion increased, she changed again, becoming more and more ugly and demonic.
As a result, she became a succubus.
I sat back and took a short break from the good book. I could not get Lilith out of my mind. I grabbed my phone and Googled the word, “succubus.” It was defined as a demonic woman who appears in dreams and takes the form of a human being, seducing men with her beauty.
What if my dreams really were true? Would that mean Lilly is Lilith?
I read the definition over and over again. It seemed to explain everything. If this was true, then no wonder Ray cheated on me with Lilly. He never stood a chance.
Then my mind drifted over to Adrian and I wondered if men could be a succubus, too. He fit the definition as well.
No. He’s not evil. I’ll never believe it.
I returned to my reading. The story went on to describe that during the time of Adam and Eve, there was a great war in heaven against God and Lucifer who had assembled one-third of renegade angels to fight against their Heavenly Father for supremacy. God prevailed over Lucifer and his angels and cast them onto earth. Lucifer continued to fight even though he was eternally doomed. God allowed Lucifer to roam the earth until his final defeat at the end of the world. There was no mention of hell in this bible. Instead it stated that God had thrown Lucifer to earth.
Adrian’s words were being brought to the forefront of my memory now. He had told me over and over that hell was earth. And now I was reading those exact words in this mysterious book.
How did Adrian know?
The doors to the library flung open and I jumped up, startled by the intrusion. Adrian stood in the door way rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “You had me worried for a minute. I thought maybe you’d left.”
I gripped the red book and waved it dramatically as if I’d just discovered some sort of incriminating evidence against him. “Why do you have this book?”
He glanced around the room and flashed me that famous half-smile of his as he took a step toward me. “We are standing in the middle of a library, Sidney. There are thousands of books in here.”
I stepped back, keeping the distance between us.
Adrian noticed this and raised his eyebrows.
I challenged him again. “I watched you take this book out of that safe. This book is special to you, Adrian. I want to know why.”
For the first time since I’d known him, Adrian’s mask of serenity slightly faded as he tried to take another step toward me and watched as I again retreated. “Why are you so worried about that book, Sidney?”
Again, he moved closer, so I danced around the desk, keeping the stationary object between us.
“What’s your real name?” I demanded.
“What do you remember?” he asked; his voice eager as he continued to chase after me.
I shouted, “I know who you are. You’re Samael.”
He froze.
Finally giving up the chase, or silently calculating his next move, we stood in the library, facing off.
And then the doorbell rang.
Adrian put his finger in the air while his eyes lingered on my face. “Don’t move,” he instructed as he spun around and headed toward the front door.
For some unknown reason, I decided to follow him. I did so possibly to defy his order or to simply run out of the house once the door opened. But when the door did open, I stood there in utter shock with my mouth gaping in horror.
The instant Adrian greeted the visitor my heart plummeted into my stomach. I couldn’t believe who I was seeing. She stood on the porch, tall and beautiful in her sheer floral print kimono top and white undershirt. Her long, milky legs were sensually revealing in her tiny denim cutoff shorts. She removed her big sunglasses, unleashing those distinctive catlike green eyes as her red lips curled up in a satisfied smile as she gleefully watched me unravel from the inside out.
What the hell was she doing here?
She ran her long pale hand through her deep red hair as she smiled at my lover.
“Lil,” Adrian growled.
I gasped inwa
rdly. They know each other?
“Oh my god.” I threw my hands up to cover my mouth but the words had already escaped. Adrian’s head shot in my direction. He gave me a look of grave concern as he detected the trembling in my voice.
“Sidney, this is…” He began the introduction before the bitch so rudely cut him off.
“Sidney Sinclair,” she said, waving her hand, dismissing Adrian’s attempt at civility. “We’ve met. Turns out we have a lot in common, a certain man in particular.”
She flashed me her vicious smile and winked.
This cannot be happening, I thought as the walls of the old house began to close in on me.
“I have to go,” I exclaimed.
“Where are your manners?” Lilly asked Adrian, completely ignoring my outburst. “Aren’t you going to invite me in?”
“Come in, Lil,” Adrian responded like a puppet.
She stepped over the threshold and onto the wooden floor. Her black stilettos crushed the ground below her, making a hollow sound ring in my ears. Adrian scurried to the porch, collecting her bags as if he was now the butler and the woman of the house had just arrived home. I had never seen him so compliant in my life. It disgusted me and I couldn’t bear to watch anymore. I had seen enough. I pushed past Adrian and hustled down the steps of the porch, passing the ancient flagpole.
“Sidney!” Adrian yelled.
I didn’t turn around, instead I just ran faster.
I had always known Adrian had someone in his past so it should have come as no surprise to finally meet her. What I wasn’t prepared for was that it was the same woman who had ruined my life by using her black magic on my beloved Ray.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, Adrian was now just as spellbound as Ray.
The Father was right. She was evil.
***
Taking my heels off and clutching them in my arms, I padded up the wooden steps of Granny’s Craftsman home and burst through the front door. Chrissy was lying on the couch watching television. She sat up as soon as I entered and sounded like an angry parent as she demanded to know where I had been all night.
“I can’t talk about it right now,” I mumbled as I shuffled through my purse in search of my pills. I did need to speak to someone who could help me understand why my life seemed to be falling apart but as much as I loved my best friend, I knew she couldn’t help me.
In moments like this, Chrissy could be as dense as the forest.
I barely looked at her. Instead, I raced into the bathroom and swallowed several pills before heading straight into Granny’s room.
Entering, I gripped the door frame to steady my balance. Once again it felt as if a giant vortex were opening up before my feet and threatening to swallow me whole. My brain was all over the place as if I were walking a tightrope which was threatening to break and send me spiraling down into a black hole. I shuffled over to the old Stickley chair I had sat in so many times before and stared at my sleeping grandmother. She seemed to be the only person left on this earth who still grounded me.
After a few moments of collecting my thoughts, I spoke to her. “Granny, if there was ever a time that I needed you, it’s now.”
I longingly gazed at the frail woman as I waited for her to respond, but no words came out of her mouth, just shallow breaths of oxygen. I refused to give up and stared at her, willing her to wake up. I scooted my chair closer to her bed and took her soft hand in mine. Strangely, it was warmer than usual, as if all of a sudden her circulation began working as it did when she were still a young woman, not a frail old shell. Resting my forehead on her hand, I whispered to her, “Should I stay and fight for Adrian?”
Again I waited for an answer.
No response.
And so it seemed that with her silence she had given me the answer that I needed. The answer I knew to be true all along.
Go back to Ray and be happy.
I decided at that moment I would do just that.
I leaned over and softly kissed her cheek, just in time for something inexplicable to happen. Granny squeezed my hand and inhaled deeply. I was so startled that I jumped back, sending the Stickley chair to the floor. I collected myself and our eyes met.
For the past several months, my ailing Granny’s eyes had been normally aged and covered with thick cataracts, causing them to appear dull with a cloudy, blackish blue color. Those same eyes were now open as they stared intently at me. Clear as crystals. No fog impairing them today. She didn’t speak to me, she just continued to stare.
“Granny?” I asked. I silently hoped that Doctor Kyle had been wrong all along and that my beloved relative could hear me. I reasoned that all the reading I had been doing with her had brought her back to me. I let out a cry of joy as I wrapped my arms around her neck and sobbed into her chest, but my moment of happiness was short lived when suddenly, Granny’s hand reached up and twisted my necklace, squeezing it so tightly it felt like a superhuman skeleton was attacking me. I couldn’t breathe as I felt a powerful pull on my neck.
The pendant!
I tried to pull away from her grip but my airway had become constricted. I fought back but I could feel the chain searing into my flesh and I began choking.
I couldn’t breathe.
The necklace chain was digging deep into my skin and the pendant was in Granny’s hand. She kept the pressure on as I continued to struggle for air.
“Let go,” I begged through gasps of breath. “Please!”
I could see black dots now clouding my vision as the world around me grew darker. I looked down at Granny’s eyes, which were now wide open and filled with a manic intensity. She seethed emotionally, “He’s gotten to you, just like he got to your mother.” She growled as her hand continued to tighten around the necklace.
With my last ounce of strength, I yanked myself away from her and collapsed onto the wooden floor, clutching my neck and desperately sucking in air. I coughed and tried to regain my composure.
I glanced up to see Chrissy hovering over Granny’s bed. Looking at me curiously, she chastised, “What in the hell did you do to her?”
Granny was now trying to sit up in bed and screamed at me to take off the necklace. “It’s evil. Evil! He will come for you. You have to destroy the necklace!”
Chrissy continued to struggle with my grandmother as I sat on the floor, watching my granny battling my best friend. I was completely useless. Chrissy grabbed a needle from a nightstand drawer and whispered to me apologetically, “I’m going to have to sedate her.”
As I watched the sedative slowly take its toll on my relative, I remembered Granny’s words of warning.
Just like he got to your mother.
What did she mean?
Why was everybody speaking in riddles?
My mind cleared for a moment and I remembered my mother’s journals I had discovered the day Chrissy and I had cleaned out Granny’s closet. I scurried out of the white room and retreated to my bedroom in search of any clue my mother’s journals held.
I rushed to my dresser and snatched the journal from the drawer. Tossing it on the bed, I ran to my closet and pulled out my running shoes and backpack. I decided there was no way I could stay inside of this house at that moment. Not with a crazy grandmother and Chrissy’s prying eyes. I grabbed a fresh change of clothes, stripped off my fancy dress, and put on my sweats.
“Where the hell are you going, Sidney? What is your deal?” Chrissy wailed.
She had followed me up to my room and apparently wasn’t about to let me leave without some kind of explanation. Slipping my shoes on, I verbally jolted her. I told her what my grandmother had said before she entered the bedroom.
“Granny tried to rip off my necklace and told me that whoever had gotten to my mom was now getting to me.” I nodded at the old journal sitting on my bed. “I have to go through my mom’s diary and see what Granny was talking about.”
Chrissy’s eyes got wide. “Holy shit!”
I reacted back, “Well, I woul
dn’t call this crap holy by any means.”
Holy or not, shit was definitely hitting the fan.
I grabbed my cell phone and the orange bottle of pills and tossed them into my pack. As I slung it over my shoulder and headed for the door, Chrissy placed her body in my path.
“So why don’t you just take the necklace off and whatever crazy thing you think is happening to you will stop,” she said, as she stood there with her chin raised, arms folded as if she was Einstein’s clone with her ingenious solution.
I looked at her like she was an idiot.
Whatever crazy things that may have been summoned by some cursed piece of jewelry were not going to simply go away because I removed the chain from around my neck. Chrissy had watched enough horror movies to know that once you’ve opened Pandora’s Box, you can’t just close the lid and expect everything to go back to normal.
I closed my eyes and sought for the words to deal with Chrissy’s ignorance. “It’s not that easy, Chrissy. I just need some time on my own to study the journal and figure this out.”
“No, Sidney, what you need is sleep. Look at yourself. No one knows where you’ve been all night and now you’re running around like a crazy person. Are you on drugs?”
I rolled my eyes and pushed my way past her. Now she really was sounding like an overbearing parent.
“If Ray calls, can you tell him I’ll call him when I get back?” I shouted over my shoulder as I galloped down the stairs.
“Oh, I’ll tell Ray, all right. Tell him you went off the deep end!”
My instructions to her were moot. As soon as I opened the door, I slammed into Ray, who was standing on my porch about to knock on the door.
I moaned inwardly, “Oh no, not Ray…not now.”
His backpack was strapped to his shoulders, which told me he had planned on staying for a while. I was instantly hit with so many emotions; happy to see the love of my life standing in front of me, yet annoyed with his timing and completely freaked out about my grandmother’s actions.
I don’t have the strength to deal with all this right now.
Between Worlds (Pendant Series Book 3) Page 3
