by Ashley Hall
The one Ivan had sent. The one who made it easier on my conscience to be here, away from her.
The one who was going to give me a heart attack if she didn’t hurry up and say what was wrong. Because something had to be wrong. Clara hadn’t called me until now, and it had been weeks since I moved in here. All kinds of different scenarios raced through my mind, each worse than the previous one.
“I’m afraid to say that your mom is in the ER,” she continued.
I could barely get my questions out, and I could barely register her answers. I might have even hung up on her mid-sentence. Mom was in trouble, and I hadn’t been there for her. That was all I could think about.
All I could do was hate myself.
In a rush, I darted out of the house as I called for a cab. I had left my car behind with Mom in case she or the nurse needed it. I kind of wished I had it now since I was trying to spend as little money as possible. I wanted to stretch the first million dollars as long as I could. If Mom having cancer with no health insurance had taught me anything, it was that money was precious, and having a healthy amount stored up in case life threw another curveball was a solid plan. Maybe it was better I didn’t have my car though. My hands were shaking so much and my nerves were a mess. I probably would get into an accident if I tried to drive myself to the hospital. And while I could ask Leo, my bodyguard, to take me, I didn’t know if he would or if he would waste time arguing with me or if Leo would have to call Ivan first. Better to just take the cab and go and not deal with any of that.
Trying not to throw up, I paced the sidewalk until the cab arrived, and when I told him to take me to the hospital, he gunned it without my even having to ask him too. I was a wreck, fretting over Mom, wondering what could be wrong. I should’ve listened better to what Clara had told me, but we were pulling up to the hospital now so there wasn’t a point in calling her back now.
I tossed some money at the cab driver—I was in that much of a rush that I didn’t care that I overpaid him—and ran up to the information desk. Thankfully, there wasn’t a line, and somehow despite my rambling, the woman behind the desk located my mom and her room number. I rushed down the hall to the stairs—I knew from previous trips that the elevator took way too long. Up four flights and down the hall to a room on the right.
I burst into the room. Clara was sitting in a chair by the window, and my mom was sleeping in the bed. Before I could say anything, a throat cleared behind me.
“You must be the daughter.” A doctor who looked like he should still be wearing diapers smiled at me.
“Yes. Rachel. My name is.” I was babbling. Damn nerves! “How is she? What’s wrong?”
“Your mother fell when she was trying to go downstairs.” The doctor glanced over at Clara, who nodded to confirm his retelling. “But don’t worry. She’ll be all right.”
“Thank you,” I said to the doctor, who nodded and left the room. “Thank you,” I repeated, this time to Clara.
She smiled. “Of course.”
I sank into the chair closest to the bed and held Mom’s hand as she slept. I wanted to cry. The weight of my guilt was enough to crush me. I couldn’t help blaming myself. I never should have left the house. I should have at least asked Ivan for different accommodations. Maybe that I could go over to his place when he wanted me but still live at home. Yeah, that wouldn’t have been easy. And he was paying me enough money that I shouldn’t be complaining that room and board were included. Since he was willing to pay for a nurse for her, would he be willing to have my mom move in too? Of course not, and I couldn’t dare ask that. Seriously. I know you’re paying me for my uterus, but do you think my mom could move in too? So wouldn’t go over well.
If only Mom didn’t live so far away from Ivan! But we lived in the poor part of town, and Ivan definitely didn’t. And at the house, Mom was closer to the doctor and to the hospital than she would be at Ivan’s. It was best for her to remain there with Clara.
And where was it best for me to be? Was Ivan’s really the best place for me?
Don’t have a choice. Not once I signed that dotted line.
Dimly, I realized Clara got up and left, probably to give me privacy. I rubbed my palms on my pants. They were wet. From tears. I was crying. Sobbing.
Shakily, I pulled myself together, but another round of tears burst out of me.
My mom stirred, moving her head from side to side, eyes still closed. As quick as I could, I rushed to wipe away the last of my tears.
She opened her eyes and smiled at me. “Rachel.”
“Mom. How are you feeling?” I squeezed her hand, and it felt like a vise was squeezing my heart. If I had been home, Mom never would’ve had a reason to go downstairs by herself. I always walked her down when it was time for her appointments. If the cancer wasn’t bad enough, her sight was getting worse the older she got. I didn’t think to blame Clara at all. My mom never asked me to help her up or down the stairs. She hated having to ask for help. She’d almost fallen once before when she had tried to go downstairs once by herself shortly after one of her first chemo treatments. I had been at work. When she told me about it, I had had a fit and made her swear she wouldn’t do something like that again. I had gotten into the habit of asking her the night before if there was anything she might need from downstairs that I could bring up for her since she was often asleep when I had left for work in the morning. Anything I could do to make her life easier.
Should’ve remembered to tell Clara that, but that wasn’t on her. It was on me. I had left in such a rush. I hadn’t thought things through enough. Yes, Mom needed the money, but here she was, in the hospital and not even because of her cancer.
“I’ve been better,” she said, her voice soft. She chuckled softly and then winced.
“Mom, I’m so sorry. I’ll come home,” I promised.
Somehow, I’d make Ivan understand. He wouldn’t be that unreasonable, would he? Family came first. Surely he could accept that. He was desperate to have a family of his own.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Mom scolded. Her face was pale, but her eyes were sharp, and she could still glower. “You need to stay with your new job because you need the money,” she urged, patting my hand.
I hung my head. She had no idea what the new job entailed, and I couldn’t bring myself to tell her about it now. I didn’t even want to think about what would happen when I did become pregnant. There would be no way to hide that from her, and then when I wouldn’t have a baby afterward, she’d be sure to have questions, and what then? I couldn’t avoid seeing her for months on end, and I didn’t want to, especially because her health was so poor and she might not have long to live herself.
I had taken this job to be able to provide for her healthcare, but what if that same job prevented me from being able to spend time with her and she ended up dying anyhow?
I inhaled sharply, willing myself not to start crying again, and smiled sadly as I saw her eyes fluttering closed. I didn’t want to worry her, so I didn’t bother to explain anything and just let her sleep.
A few hours passed with me sitting beside her, but I knew I couldn’t stay here the entire length of her hospital stay. After talking to the doctor and learning they would keep her overnight, I knew I had to leave, as much as I didn’t want to. Ivan would not be happy if I stayed away for too long, especially since I had just upped and left and hadn’t told anyone where I was going. I hadn’t been thinking the clearest. He might already be waiting for me, and he wasn’t the kind of guy to take kindly to that kind of thing.
Would he understand my having to rush out of there? If this happened again, I wouldn’t hesitate to leave again. He needed to respect that, to accept it. I’d have to talk to him about it. But he did send my mom a nurse, and he hadn’t had to do that. It wasn’t anywhere in the contract, and he had just gone ahead and made arrangements without even asking me first. Clara, it had turned out, was a highly respected nurse, one who had worked with many high-end patients before. Ivan h
adn’t hired just any old nurse. Maybe he would be reasonable after all, but I couldn’t help wondering. Neither being in the mob or needing an heir spoke of being reasonable. There were times when he came to me that I thought he was maybe afraid. It wouldn’t last long, just a look in his eyes, but then it would go away.
I would take it away.
What would cause a mob boss to be afraid?
It wasn’t something I wanted to think about though. I had so much on my plate already. Maybe it was better to remain in the dark.
Or maybe I was just hoping ignorance was bliss.
When I had stayed for as long as I could, I called a cab and vowed to focus my worries on my mother rather than my boss. I was just ending the call and tucking my cell into my pocket when I walked out of the hospital. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a tall man leaning against the hospital wall. He stayed there for a moment, but something about him seemed shady, and I kept glancing in his direction. I didn’t like the looks of him. No one else was out front right now. The guy who handled valet parking must be parking a car. Great.
The shady guy straightened and approached me, and I thought about going back inside the hospital, but he was already beside me. He grabbed my arm, holding me too tightly.
I gasped and wiggled, ready to scream and kick, but before I could, he said, “You need to tell your boyfriend to watch his back, or we’ll come for you.”
I gaped at him. Boyfriend? Come for me? What the hell!
The guy squeezed my arm enough to make tears prickle in my eyes. His scowl was nasty and vicious, but then he just released me and walked away, melting into the shadows, out of sight.
For a long moment, I just stood there, shaking. What just happened? That man threatened me! He had been tall, wore dark clothes, but I couldn’t remember any kind of distinguishing marks, nothing to help pick him out of a crowd. He looked too ordinary. But the hatred on his face. That was all I could see when I closed my eyes to try to remember more clearly.
I removed my cell and darted in the direction the guy had gone in, but I couldn’t see him anywhere. Why hadn’t I taken a picture of him? Why had I put my phone away? I could’ve recorded the conversation. Well, it hadn’t been a conversation. It had been a threat. Still, to have his voice recorded would’ve been nice.
Someone was going after Ivan. He was fearing for his life. That was why he wanted a legacy. Why he needed me.
Fury roiled through me. How dare he want to bring a child into this mess! If these guys were willing to threaten me to get to him, they would have no problem going after a baby. And how could he have kept this from me? He should’ve disclosed the possible danger when he offered me the position. No wonder he had offered up two million dollars!
I was still shaking when the cab rolled up, and I debated sending it away and going back up to my mom, to throw Ivan’s money back in his face and force him to find himself another uterus.
But I had just finished paying off all of our hospital bills only yesterday, and now, with another hospital stay, more would be piling in. I couldn’t give Ivan back all of his money. I was trapped. And even if I did end our contract—which I might not legally be able to break—the people watching us might not realize that I was out of the picture. What if they still came for me at my house? What if they harmed my mom?
Yes, I was trapped. So back to Ivan’s I went.
Terrified. Frightened. Worried. Anxious.
Accepting this position might be the worst decision I ever made.
Chapter Sixteen
Ivan
That evening, I just wanted a chance to unwind, and what better way to unwind than a few hours’ romp in the sheets? I bounded up the stairs to Rachel’s room, only to discover that it was empty. Strange.
A little perturbed, I walked toward my room, unbuttoning the first couple of buttons of my shirt as I strolled. I pushed opened the door to find Rachel sitting on my bed.
I stilled in the doorway. She had never been in my bedroom before. I had always come to her. Did I like this change in the routine? Maybe…if not for the dour expression on her face. I quickly glanced at my watch. It wasn’t a super late hour that she would rather be sleeping in bed than sleeping with me, so that couldn’t be it. Had she had a second thought about the position? That wouldn’t do well for me. We were only a few weeks in, but so far, it seemed like she wasn’t pregnant yet. If I had to find someone else and start all over, I’d be more than just a little annoyed. I’d arranged for the nurse for her mother and everything, and besides, I enjoyed Rachel. She was very talented in the bedroom, and she was more than willing to go the extra mile to ensure I was happy. And more than that, she seemed to genuinely want me to be happy. It wasn’t just that she felt like she had to for the sake of being paid. And I enjoyed making her happy in bed too. When she orgasmed, it made my own that much more satisfying.
But something clearly wasn’t right.
I cleared my throat. “What’s wrong?” I asked, remaining by the door, feeling for some reason that I should keep some distance between us as we spoke. Had something happened?
“Earlier today…” she said, trailing off. She was staring at me in a way she hadn’t ever. Like she was mad at me.
“What happened?” I demanded.
“Earlier today, a man accosted me.” She narrowed her eyes, her hands fists on her lap.
“What did he say?” I growled, my own hands curling into tight fists. “What did he want? What did he look like?”
“He said, and I quote, ‘You need to tell your boyfriend to watch his back, or we’ll come for you.’”
“Fuck,” I muttered. I wanted to rub my chin, to grit my teeth, to react, but I knew that would be a sign of weakness, and that was the last thing that Rachel needed to see right now. What the hell was she thinking after being threatened like that?
But as pissed as I was that she had been accosted, I was even more furious for another reason.
“Why the hell did you leave my house?” I demanded. She should’ve known better. Nothing like this would have ever happened if she stayed where she was supposed to—in the bedroom, waiting for me.
How could my butler or her guard allow her to leave like that? Heads would roll for this!
She scowled at me, her eyes narrowing, lips pursed. Even furious, she remained pretty, and something inside of me grew uncomfortably tight.
“I received a phone call from your nurse,” she said slowly, haltingly.
I pulled up short.
“My mom…she had a fall. She’s in the hospital.” Rachel glanced away and started to cry.
Oh. My heart ached for her. What would it feel like to know your mother was sick? To do everything in your power to try to give her the best care all the while knowing it might not be enough to save her? My mother died before I could experience anything of the sort. Rachel clearly loved her mother, so much so that she was willing to rent out her uterus. I knew now that I had definitely made the right choice in having her be the one to have my child with, but it also made me slightly fearful too. Would she be willing to give up the child when the time came if family meant this much to her?
Despite myself, I could feel myself softening to her. I wanted to take her into my arms, to kiss away her tears, to whisper promises that she would always be safe, that I would never let anyone harm her, that her mother would be looked after by the best doctors that money could buy. I wanted to comfort her.
But I stopped myself. I dialed it back. I wasn’t here for emotions. I couldn’t get emotionally involved with Rachel. She was just a uterus. Nothing more.
Right?
But listening to her cry tore at me, so I did pull her into my arms after all, but instead of kissing away her tears, I kissed her full on the lips, hoping to distract her.
For a moment, she didn’t respond, so I pulled back. I didn’t want to force myself on her. I would never do that. But then she initiated another kiss, one that had my cock stirring. I knew this time wasn’t about me. It was
purely for her, for distraction, for her to maybe do something life-affirming, to continue living while her mother fought against the claws of death.
And I would give that to her. I would let her lead for once. I would grant her this small kindness.
She slowly—way too slowly—undressed me and then herself, but even after we were naked, she took her time, with lots of kisses and caressing. I wanted to take charge, to dominate her, but I held back, letting her dictate the pace. Gradually, she seemed to recognize that I was following her lead, and then she smiled, and that smile was definitely sly.
That smile sent a jolt right to my throbbing cock. Man, this was fucking hot.
Still smiling slyly, she pulled me close for a deep, long kiss, and I almost rubbed myself against her. Her fingers gripped my hair, and she pushed me down. I managed to suck one of her nipples for a second before she pushed me down farther. The lower I went, the wider her smile grew, and she lay down on the bed. It wasn’t hard to figure out what she wanted, and I went to town. Rachel was so wet, so fucking wet, and I lapped it up. Her moans were the loudest they had ever been, but not once had she screamed out my name while we fucked, and I found myself trying harder, wanting that validation for whatever reason.
