by Ashley Hall
I could feel my nipples harden in my bra, rubbing against the soft fabric. I'd felt half dead when I left the hospital, and one night with him had woken something primal and sexual within me. Was that the connection I'd been craving? I had been feeling it with Shadow, but now I was starting to think getting involved with him again wasn't the best of ideas. He was dangerous. He was ruthless. He was a killer. I couldn't forget that, just because he saved my life and because he was incredible in bed.
Enough stalling. Time to try to figure out who I was, who this Allie girl Shadow said I was.
With a deep breath, I knocked on the door. I could hear music and talking and laughing from inside, so I knocked again. No one must be hearing me, so I inched the door open and walked inside.
It felt wrong to just barge in here, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I had done just that several times before. It wasn't a memory, though, more like a hunch. Why couldn't I remember? Would I ever? The doctors thought my memories would return, but they had no idea when. It could be tomorrow or in a month or five years. Five years without knowing who I was. How can I move forward without knowing my past? Isn't a person the sum of their experiences?
A few guys walked by me, nodding and continuing on before I could ask them anything about myself. I walked farther into the place when I heard a female shriek.
Startled, I glanced around to see a woman with brown hair and eyes barreling toward me from the opposite end of the hall. She wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug but almost immediately pulled back, hands on my shoulders, staring at me. "It is you!" she all but shrilled.
"I'm sorry. Who are you?"
Her eyes widened, but then she laughed, a freeing and happy sound. "Allie, who are you kidding? 'Who am I?'" Then she gasped, her hands covering her cheeks. "Oh my God. That's why you haven't called or emailed or anything. I thought it might have been because… But you don't know who I am! That's why!" Her hands returned to my shoulders, squeezing them. "Do you remember anything? What the hell happened? Are you in trouble or—"
"I'm not in trouble." Her touching me was a little uncomfortable, so I shuffled back half a step so her hands slid off of me. "Who are you?" I had to ask again.
"I'm Marie. Marie Haymaker." She waited, maybe to see if that would jog anything, but I was still clueless. Her name meant nothing to me. "Your sister, Allie. I'm your sister."
Elation to know I wasn't alone in the world after all, had me hugging her as tightly as she had hugged me the first time. I choked out, "I thought I was all alone—"
"I had no idea what had—"
We had started talking at the same time and stopped at the same time too. Giggling, we hugged again.
Marie shook her head and leaned against the hallway wall. "I can't believe you're safe and sound. I've been searching for you for months. Months! Of course, I checked here first, but you weren't around, so I never thought to come back. How long have you been here?"
"Not long," I murmured, suddenly uncomfortable.
"What happened?" Her brown eyes darkened. "Did someone hurt you?"
"No! Well, yes." I waved my hand. "There was a car accident—"
"Oh my God!"
"And I was in a coma for months. When I woke up, I couldn't remember anything. I only know about the accident for a moment, I paused. Wouldn't Shadow have heard about the accident? They had flashed my pictures so many times on the TV. Then again, he was probably too busy doing research on his pedophiles to bother watching the news.
"Seriously?" Marie's eyes filled with tears. "I don't live around here. It must've only been a story run locally. If I had known, I would've come much sooner!"
She looked so distressed I had to hug her again. "It's not your fault. But it was actually worse than just not remembering anything. I couldn't talk or walk at first. Therapy took a long time and…" I winced, thinking about everything that had happened since leaving the hospital, some good, mostly bad. "I have no idea what to do. Did I have a job? Insurance? I have no clue how I'm going to cover my hospital expenses, the therapy…"
"Let's not worry about that right now. God, you're healthy and alive. Well, healthy now that you've recovered. A car accident? Wow. I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that, and alone! You must've been so scared. Allie, please—"
"Sky," I corrected her, wincing at her use of the name Allie.
"What?" She furrowed her brows.
"I go by Sky now. I didn't know my name and…"
"Sky?" She frowned before her lips relaxed into a gentle smile. "Okay. Sky, please don't be upset with me. I swear I've been looking for you everywhere. A few hours ago, someone called me. They saw you on the street last night and watched Shadow pick you up. I came as soon as my workday ended. You're back with him?"
For the first time, there was condemnation in her tone. Judgment. It made me bristle. "I don't know," I said slowly. Right now, I didn't want to think about Shadow, let alone talk about him. "Do you think we could maybe talk about me a little?"
The glare she'd been wearing since she'd said Shadow's name faded into a look of understanding. "Of course, Al—Sky. What do you want to know?"
"Everything! Are our parents alive? Where do they live? Where do you live? What do you do? What did I do? When's my birthday? How old am I? What—"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down! Yes, our parents are alive. They live across the country in California, so we don't see them very often. You lived here, in the clubhouse, last I knew, since you gave up your apartment when you and Shadow started shacking up."
"Me," I stressed, afraid she'd go off about Shadow. No wonder he hadn't mentioned my sister to me. It was obvious the two hated each other, or at least she hated him. "Tell me about me."
"God, this is so unreal! I can't believe you don't remember… We used to go to the beach every summer. You hated it. Hated the sand, the sun, the water. I loved it. One time, to get me back for picking on you for whining about not being able to swim, you replaced my sunscreen with an expired one. I got so burned! It was so painful!"
I laughed. "I was a brat!"
"No. We always played pranks on each other." She waved her hand as if it was nothing. "Mom and Dad hated it, but we never did anything really bad. Although there was that one time we worked together to prank Mom, and brought a snake into the house. We nearly killed her. She almost had a heart attack!"
"A snake?" I shuddered.
Marie peered at me curiously. "It was your idea and you were the one to handle touching it." Now she was the one to shudder. "I bet it felt all slimy and gross."
"It's not a slug."
"That's what you said then." She started to smile, but it turned upside down. "You're twenty-four. You had a birthday just last week, on Wednesday."
"Twenty-four," I repeated. Did I think I was younger or older than that? "My job?"
"You were still looking for one. You had been a waitress at a bar for a while, but the tips were crap, and you got into a fight with another waitress there when she tried to steal all of the best tables." Marie laughed. "You were never one to put up with someone else's shit."
I almost smiled. "You make me sound like a badass."
"You were." Marie sounded oddly somber. "You were very independent. You were strong and fierce and I always loved you for it. Al—Sky, if there's anything I can do for you, you would let me know, right?"
I could feel myself getting choked up. I hated that I didn't remember Marie. That nothing she was saying made me remember a damn thing, but it was clear she loved me. She was my sister. I had a sister. I wasn't as alone in the world as I thought.
"Aw, come here." Marie held out her arms, and I sank into her warm, sisterly embrace. To my horror, a sob choked out of me. Her hand rubbed my back. "Shh, shh, let it all out. Breathe, Al—Sky. Just breathe."
It was easier for her to say that than it was for me to actually do, eventually I was able to compose myself and pulled away. Wiping my tears with my fingers. "I really want to remember. So badly. You, Mo
m, and Dad… even that waitress. Waitressing, huh? Did I even go to school?"
"You did, but you dropped out. College isn't for everyone." She bit her lip.
There was something there. "What is it?" I pressed.
"You met a guy, got mixed up with the wrong crowd, and it kinda left you in a vulnerable place. You eventually broke it off, and you were so strong to do that, but you lost your drive to go back to school."
The guy… Shadow? Or someone else? Maybe I had a type—hot, bad boys that any woman with half a brain would run away from because they were the Just-Not- Good-News type.
"What had I been studying?"
"Journalism. You wanted to be a newspaper reporter. You always did like asking questions. Nosey Allie, that's what I called you sometimes."
I wrinkled my nose. "Did I like that nickname?"
"You loved it!"
"Did I really?" She had to be pulling my leg. Nosey Allie was hideous.
"Yep! You even thought about it being a part of your byline."
I slapped her shoulder. "You're lying!"
She giggled and rubbed her arm. "That hurt. Okay, yes, I only called you Nosey Allie when you pissed me off, but you really did want to be a reporter at one time. Before that, an author. Before that, an actress. Before that, a model. Before that—"
"I get the picture. I was wishy-washy." I wrinkled my nose, not liking the sound of that.
"No." She shook her head frantically. "You were impulsive. And driven. Kinda strange combination, really. You always threw yourself wholeheartedly into everything. You wore your emotions on your sleeve. You gave too much of yourself; and your heart…"
"I gave that away a lot too, huh?" I rubbed my arms. Since last night, I hadn't felt warm and now I had goose bumps.
"You loved like the heroine does in a chick-flick movie. You love as if your life depends on it. And when it turned out badly—you never had much luck with men—you would be in the pit of despair—your term—for a week or two before another bad guy would come around. If there's one part of you I hope you don't get back, it's that."
"You don't want me to love so deeply?"
"I don't want you to get hurt so badly," she corrected.
Hell, I didn't want to get hurt—physically or emotionally—ever again either.
Chapter Seven
Sky
"Come on." Marie grabbed my arm and steered me toward a part of the clubhouse I hadn't been to before.
"You sure know your way around here," I said, hurrying to keep up with her. My leg muscles were still really tight. Between the sex, all of the walking, and maybe even the bike riding, my legs were worn out. My body was beat and I needed to sit down.
"You invited me over a few times before." She glanced over her shoulder at me, frowning. "I need a drink."
Oh, God, did I need one too. Forget a nap. Alcohol couldn’t solve my problems, but it sure could help me forget them for a while. Seeing Marie helped to put out of my mind what happened earlier today, but now that there was a slight lull in our conversation, it was all rushing back and I could not deal with that, not right now.
"Two would be better," I added as we entered a large room.
She slid onto a barstool. The clubhouse had a fully-stocked bar. It was impressive too, and surprisingly clean, given how disgusting the table had been when Shadow and I had eaten breakfast.
I sat beside her and glanced around, taking the place in as if I had never seen it before. Of course I had to have; I just didn't remember it. Colored lights decorated the bar. The bottles of liquor were all lined up, just begging to be tipped over and poured. There were a few containers of nuts and of pretzels lining the counter.
There wasn't a bartender in sight. Marie banged on the table, but no one approached. She called for one, but we were the only ones in here. It was barely three in the afternoon.
"It’s five o'clock somewhere," Marie muttered as she hopped off her stool and walked around the bar. "What's your poison?"
"Don't know." I shrugged. “Surprise me.”
"Oh, I can so have fun with that." She grinned mischievously. "But I won't. I swear I'll be good."
I narrowed my eyes. "I take it a certain kind of alcohol and I don't mix well."
"You and Tequila… let's just say you always end up on the floor."
"Fun."
"Yeah, with blackouts and everything." Marie shrugged. "Just like I can't really handle whiskey. Love the taste of it, goes down so smooth… But it gives me such wicked hangovers. Not worth it."
"You drink whiskey?" I asked, surprised.
"Hey, it's not just a drink for guys."
"Yeah, but… I would've thought you'd be the kind to go for fruity girly drinks."
Marie laughed as she gathered a few bottles, and I laughed too. She sure seemed to know her way around a bar. In no time, she whipped up two frozen drinks. "Raspberry daiquiris, my specialty."
"You have a drink specialty?"
She smiled wickedly as she slid mine across the counter.
At her nod, I took a sip. It was so full of flavor, it just burst in my mouth. Now that was smooth. "You can't taste any alcohol."
Marie laughed again. "Nope. They're dangerous."
"How did you come up with a drink like this?"
"I bartended to put myself through college. Got a degree in accounting but hated my first job, so now I'm in real estate." She took a long sip. "It's so strange telling you all this. It's like we're strangers even though we're sisters."
"Tell me about it." I took another long sip. It tasted so good, but I didn't want to drink it too fast. "I…" To my horror, tears filled my eyes again.
"Hey." Marie reached across the counter and touched my hand. "I know this must have been so scary for you and you must've felt so alone, but I'm here now. We can help you regain your memories somehow. Did the doctors say you'll get them back eventually?"
Sniffling, I nodded and squeezed her hand. "They think I will, but no one knows for sure or when it will happen."
"Well, if you have any questions about anything, I'm more than willing to help fill in the gaps." Marie's smile slipped.
"What?"
"I have a question of my own." She stirred her straw too fast and some of her drink spilled onto the counter. With a quick flick of her wrist, she swiped a dishcloth over the mess to clean it.
"Go ahead," I said when she didn't immediately ask it. Her anxiety was making me anxious, and somehow, I realized I'd drunk half of my daiquiri already.
"How did you end up here? If you didn't remember everything… how did you find Shadow?" She was clearly trying to keep her voice neutral, but her nose was scrunched up.
"I didn't. He found me. He rescued me." The words came pouring out of me. "I was discharged from therapy and was walking around, trying to find somewhere to go for the night. It was cold and raining and…"
"You must have been terrified." Marie leaned on the counter, her chin resting in her hand, elbow on the bar.
"I thought I was, but that was nothing." I nodded. God, how awful it had been. It was really shitty that I had so few memories and so many of them were so terrible.
Her eyes darkened. "I'm not going to like where this is going, am I?"
"I'm fine. I'm safe. I'm here with you." I held up my glass in cheers, and drained the rest. I hadn't really been free to live my second life, as I was starting to think of it, for very long before it had turned completely upside down. A rollercoaster of events, horrible ones mixed in with a handful of oh-so-pleasing ones, and back to horrible again. At least now I had my sister back. That was good. Maybe my luck was changing, and I could finally start to get my life straightened out some.
"What happened?" she demanded. "You suck at telling stories, by the way."
Lost in my few memories, I absentmindedly reached for my drink only to realize it was empty.
Wordlessly, Marie exchanged mine with hers.
I took another swallow. "I had no idea where to go and was just abo
ut to find someone to ask for help when a van pulled up, and a guy jumped out and grabbed me. He was talking to me, but I didn't hear what he said. I was just so scared. I tried to fight him, but he was so strong and…" My voice trailed off and I rubbed a worn out spot on the bar with my finger.
"Oh my God, Allie! Sorry—Sky. What the hell is wrong with people? What are the chances something like that would happen to you right after you recovered from a car accident?" She slapped her hand onto the counter.
"I know. I wouldn't have any luck except for bad luck… well, unless you count Shadow coming. He rode up on his bike and beat up the guy and the driver and saved me. He might have saved my life." A rush of warmth filled me for the man. Regardless of what he had done today, he really had been my hero yesterday. If he hadn't stopped them, they might have raped me, killed me, or worse, both.
