by L. Divine
4
Esmeralda
“I’m the type of girl that’ll look you dead in the eye/ I’m real as they come if you don’t know why I’m fly-y-y-y-y.”
—TIMBALAND FT. NELLY FURTADO AND JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE
After my long week, going to my mom’s this afternoon will be such a relief. Between my meetings and friends, I haven’t had much time to myself. I think every relationship needs a break, including the ones that I have with my girls. Sometimes their issues are too much for me to handle, along with my own madness. I need a break from school in general, and Thanksgiving is in a few weeks. That’ll be a good time to recuperate from this place, even if it’s only a couple of extra days off.
Before I head out the back door to get to the bus stop, I notice Bryan coming in from his night job at the radio station. He’s a very talented DJ and I admire him for keeping his volunteer gig, even if it means he has to work straight through the next day at Miracle Market. Speaking of which, he got paid yesterday, so he should have my money.
“What’s up, Jayd?” he mumbles, grabbing the cornflakes from the top of the refrigerator and eating straight from the box, dropping crumbs onto the floor. I know he’s tired, but other people live here too.
“You have no respect,” I say, snatching the cereal from him and putting it on the table. “Get a bowl.”
“Ok, lil mama,” he says. I know I sound just like her, but she’s right. This house would be a pigsty if we weren’t here to pick up the slack. I get tired of cleaning up after these fools. “Oh, I got something for you,” he says, reaching in his back pocket and taking out his wallet. So he didn’t forget. How did he end up being the only one of my uncles who isn’t completely trifling?
“This is a twenty,” I say, before taking the crisp bill from his hand. Even when he’s smoking he doesn’t make mistakes with his money.
“I know that,” he says, retrieving the cereal from the table and again pouring it directly into his mouth. He’s hopeless. “You’re right. Your uncle should break you off a piece sometimes,” he says, exiting the kitchen and heading to bed for the forty-five minutes he has left before he has to be at work.
“Thank you,” I say after him as I tuck the money into the back pocket of my Lucky bag. I’m glad I didn’t have to break off my own change for the bag. Jeremy has no idea how much this hobo would have set me back. Every dime I can save toward getting a ride of my own, I’m doing from now on—no expensive purses allowed.
As I step onto the front porch, I smell a pungent odor coming from outside. I look across the yard to see our neighbor, Esmeralda, staring straight at me and burning a stick of incense. I can’t see her eyes, but I can feel her glare through the gate. This can’t be good.
“Didn’t your grandmother teach you to speak to your elders?” her crackling voice whispers through the faded white iron fence enclosing the front porch of her house. Her birds are squawking loudly in the background and her three cats are lying on the steps, sleeping as usual. They are only around when Lexi’s not, which is usually early in the morning. But for any of them—Esmeralda included—it’s too late for them to be out and about. I usually hear her outside when I first wake up. By the time I come out, she’s always back in.
“You’re not my elder,” I say, walking down the steps. Before I get halfway down the driveway, she opens the gate and stands there, forcing me to stop in my tracks.
“Don’t you sass me, young lady,” Esmeralda says. The force of her voice makes me look her dead in her crystal-clear blue eyes, which is my second mistake. The first was answering her question. Mama has always told me not to speak to this broad. I don’t know the entire history, but they go way back to their days in New Orleans. And I know she used to harass my mom all of the time when she was younger. As I’m about to make another smart remark, I can’t speak. I’m standing still, with my backpack on my back and my purse and overnight bag on my shoulder, unable to move. What the hell’s going on?
“What’s the matter?” she says, picking up the fattest member of the slumbering cat trio and stroking its back. “Cat got your tongue?” She laughs sinisterly, almost hissing at me. I can’t scream for Mama to help me and I can’t look away. Oh shit, she’s got something on me and I don’t know what to do.
“Grrrr,” Lexi slowly growls, waking all of the cats up and breaking Esmeralda’s hold on me. Thank God for Mama’s gatekeeper.
“Meow!” all the cats scream in unison. Whatever she did to me has caused me to have a headache of mass proportions. I’m going to have to run back inside and wake Mama up for this one. I don’t want to risk missing my bus, but this is too freaky. Before I reach the porch, Esmeralda and her cats are out of sight, shrouded by the overgrown plants and crap shielding the front door of her home. To be honest, I’ve never even seen the front door of her house. That chick is strange.
“Mama!” Inside, I call from the hallway as I frantically search for some painkillers in the linen closet that doubles as a medicine cabinet.
“Jayd, what’s wrong?” she says, opening her bedroom door, still half-asleep.
“I just saw Esmeralda outside and she choked me up with her eyes and gave me a headache.”
“What are you talking about, Jayd?” Mama says, feeling my forehead like I’ve got a fever. “I know you know better than to interact with her. What’s gotten into you, girl?”
“I know, Mama, but she was just standing there staring at me. I was trying to get to the bus stop,” I answer, opening a small bottle and swallowing two pills dry. Mama hates when I take medicine without water. She says it’s not good for my stomach. But the last thing I want is to have to pee during the hour-and-a-half trip to school.
“Well, Jayd, she’s going to do that if she gets a chance, which you can’t let her do again. That woman is dangerous and you need to listen to what I tell you the first time I say it, little girl,” Mama says, taking my chin in her hand and looking deep into my eyes. It could be the pounding in my head, but her green eyes seem to shimmer, immediately soothing my nerves. “You’re going to be late. Let me take care of Esmeralda and you avoid any contact with her, even it means that next time you see her coming you turn around and go out the back door.”
“But I wasn’t looking for her this time,” I say. The worry apparent in Mama’s eyes tells me I’m still not hearing her.
“But maybe she was looking for you,” my mom mentally interjects, making this a three-way conversation. “Esmeralda ain’t no joke and is powerful in her ability to provoke people. Remember that and she’ll never have any real power over you. You just got a taste of what that woman can do.”
“Your mother’s right, Jayd,” Mama says, knowing from the look on my face that her daughter’s in my head. I doubt she can hear her, but Mama can read me like a book. “She knows from firsthand experience the kind of trouble Esmeralda can cause in the lives of Williams women. Ignore her completely. Now go on and get, chile, before you miss your first bus. And remember, Jayd, never look directly into Esmeralda’s eyes.” She kisses my cheek and heads for the bathroom. Now I’m really freaked out. So much for my week ending uneventfully.
Jeremy hasn’t attempted to pick me up at the bus stop again since Monday’s friendly ride. But this is one morning I could use it. I feel drained from my encounter with Mama’s nemesis. If I could, I’d sleep straight through all of my classes. But I know that won’t work. Today is test day, and the day to turn in my homework for the week in most of my classes. I’m just glad I get to chill out at my mom’s tonight. I need a break from both school and Compton. I’m not looking forward to working in the morning, but that too shall pass and quickly, I hope.
“Hey Jayd,” Misty says from out of nowhere as she passes our table up and continues her walk across the quad to where the rest of her clique is chilling. I didn’t see her on the bus this morning and I didn’t notice her walk up behind me. Damn, my senses are still off from my painful encounter with Esmeralda. It’s only break and I’m ready to get
out of here for the weekend to get some rest and studying done. I’ve got to find out more about Esmeralda and her powers.
“Chance, get off me. I’m not feeling well today,” I say, pushing his narrow behind out of my lap as Nellie gives us both an evil glare. What’s that all about?
“You know I’m trying out for Macbeth now, right?” he says, sitting next to Nellie, whose demeanor’s hella uptight this morning. “I just signed up yesterday.”
“Good. Now I have someone to rehearse with. Dudes are always the last to sign up and auditions start on Tuesday.” Again, Nellie shoots me a look that tells me she doesn’t approve of us practicing together at all. I knew her jealousy would get the best of her once she and Chance got involved.
“Yeah, I know. But can’t nobody do it like I do and you know this, man,” he says, imitating Chris Tucker in Friday, making me laugh. But Nellie’s still unamused. Here come Mickey and Nigel and they also look salty. What’s up with all of the tension around here?
“Good morning, you two,” I say as they take a seat across the table from us. “How are the little love birds these days?” I feel like I’ve been absent from school for the past two days, since I’ve been locked in the library when I wasn’t in class.
“Ain’t no love birds around here except for them two,” Mickey says, pointing at Chance and Nellie, who give me a look confirming I’m out of the loop.
“Did I miss something?” I say, taking a sip from my bottled water. I don’t have much of an appetite since the pills I took didn’t help much to calm the pounding in my head.
“No, you were standing right there when she let that punk-ass nigga of hers disrespect her, therefore disrespecting me the other day,” he says, instantly setting Mickey off.
“I keep telling your stupid ass that he’s my man and we have to deal with each other in our own way. You don’t see me talking shit about you and your trifling trick, do you?”
“You can’t say shit about me and Tasha because I treat all of my women with respect,” he says. Oh, this isn’t going to be pretty at all.
“All of your women?” Mickey says. I knew she would catch that, like any other sistah I know. “How many women do you have?”
“As many as you do men,” Nigel says, not losing his cool for a minute. They don’t know this side of him, but I do. Both he and Rah can be cold when they want to be. She doesn’t know who she’s dealing with, and neither does he. Mickey’s got all the fire it takes to melt his ice.
“Shut the hell up talking to me, Nigel,” Mickey says, rising from the bench, ready to storm off. “Are y’all coming?” she says, putting her hands on her hips, waiting for Nellie and me to follow her.
“I need to finish up here,” Nellie says, looking from Chance to her, pissing Mickey off even more. I guess it’s my turn to be the good friend, since I’ve been MIA for the past couple of days. But I really don’t want to get involved with their mess. I knew it was coming and I don’t want to get burned in the process. They’re both my friends. But if I have to choose, I’d choose Nigel’s side because he’s right. Mickey’s man was very disrespectful Tuesday and she needs to be checked for allowing that shit. But she’s not so innocent herself and she doesn’t want to hear us so I’ll be damned if I get in the middle.
“I need to get to class anyway,” I say, putting my water in the side pocket of my backpack before getting up and joining her. “I’ll holla at y’all later.”
“Yeah, go talk some sense into your girl,” Nigel says. But there’s no talking to Mickey right now. She’s vexed and won’t hear reason until she’s ready. My phone vibrates, signaling a text message from my mom. I forget she can use regular communication when she wants to.
“Hey baby. I have an impromptu tennis match after work with Karl. Can you find another way to my house today? Smooches.”
Damn, like I need something else to think about. Maybe Chance wouldn’t mind giving me a ride to Inglewood. I know he’s not ballin’ like Jeremy. Maybe I’ll give him some gas money, since Bryan broke me off a piece this morning. I really need to get my own car. Then I won’t have to worry about my mom’s schedule or anyone else’s for that matter. I’m glad my mom’s found a new man, which she always does. As good as she knows she looks, Lynn Marie has never had a problem finding a boyfriend.
“Was that Rah?” Mickey says as we speed-walk toward the main hall. She is a good five inches taller than I am, which makes keeping up with her long legs a workout for me, especially when she’s pissed.
“No, it was my mom. She’s not going to be able to pick me up after school, so I have to find another way to her house,” I say, knowing she’s not feeling my pain. Mickey’s parents have been married since high school, so she’s never had to move around like I do.
“Why can’t you just stay at your grandmother’s tonight?” she says, oblivious to my reality. If it were that simple, then there’d be no issue.
“Then how am I going to get to work in the morning?” Must be nice to not have to work on the weekends. I’m going to have try that one out sometime.
“Damn, girl, I don’t know,” Mickey says, sounding defensive. “I’m trying to help you out.”
“I’ve got it covered,” I say, tired of her lame attempt at assistance. It’s time to get back to the topic at hand. “So what’s with all the static between you and Nigel?”
“He’s just jealous, that’s all. Nigel’s not able to give me what my man does and he knows that,” she says, stepping into the noisy hallway as the bell rings above our heads.
I am and I’m not looking forward to seeing Jeremy next period. I’m still attracted to him because, well, he’s as fine as always. But he really rubbed me the wrong way on Monday and I can’t shake being pissed at him. I’ve been giving him the cold shoulder all week and it’s not going to warm up anytime soon. “And what’s so great about what your man gives you? If you ask me, you could do better without all of his disrespect,” I say as she gives me a look of disbelief and then rolls her eyes at me as we approach my locker. Mickey can roll her eyes from here to Compton, but I’m right and she knows it.
“Well, no one asked you. And I thought you were on my side anyway,” she says, stopping traffic as she applies her MAC lip gloss in my locker mirror. She’s more full of herself than Nellie, and that’s not cool with me. As I’m about to respond to her highness’s sassy comment, my cell vibrates, signaling a call from Rah.
“Peace Raheem. Shouldn’t you be in class?” I say, teasing him. Westingle’s a little more lenient when it comes to cell phone usage on campus, unlike South Bay. Technically we’re not even supposed to have them on during school hours. But most students keep theirs on vibrate during the day. I usually turn mine off so I can save on battery usage. But ever since Rah and I started talking again, I’ve been keeping it on.
“Yes ma’am,” he says. I must admit it’s a real treat to hear his voice in the morning. “Anyway, I just wanted to holla at you since you was on my mind and all. Oh, and I’m coming up there after school, so don’t conveniently disappear,” Rah says, making me smile with his authoritative yet caring voice, unlike Mickey’s man who just barks out orders like the control freak that he is.
“Cool, then you can give me a ride to my mom’s.” That works out perfectly, because truth be told, I don’t want to cause any more tension between Nellie, Chance, and myself. And Chance giving me a ride today would definitely have done that.
“No problem, girl. I’m a holla later on then, shawty. Peace,” Rah says in a fake southern accent.
“Holla,” I say, mimicking him.
“Y’all are starting to make me sick,” Mickey says, as we walk toward my class, which isn’t too far from hers. As I approach the door to Government, Jeremy walks up to me and Mickey, who sucks her teeth in disgust.
“Well, good morning to you too,” he says to Mickey, brushing up against me as he passes me to enter the room. Damn, he smells so fresh and clean.
“You need to stay away from whi
te boys, Jayd. They ain’t no good.”
“Now ain’t that some shit coming from you, with your man’s superhero being Ike Turner,” I say, before entering the noisy space myself as Mrs. Peterson glares at me from her desk. “Go to class,” I say, lightly pushing my girl as she nods good-bye. I can’t wait to see Rah when this day’s over. He’ll make me forget all about school, at least for the weekend.
Instead of eating lunch, Chance and I met in the drama room to practice our audition scene straight through until the end of drama class—no audience allowed. That pissed Nellie off, but she played it cool by hanging with a still-steaming Mickey and going off campus to eat. One thing she’s going to have to understand is that when it comes to this audition, Chance and I are serious about our work and we both want to win. I hope she learns to trust us a little more.
“Waiting for someone?” Rah says, sneaking up behind me as I switch my books out of my locker for the last time. I didn’t bother stopping after math class because I knew I wouldn’t have to rush to catch the bus after school. And unfortunately, I do have homework this weekend.
“Yeah, this fine brotha who’s going to take me to Fatburger for an early dinner. Have you seen him?” I say, allowing him to hug me tight from behind. We could get in a lot of trouble if we weren’t more disciplined and if I didn’t know better.
“Fatburger? You better be happy with the dollar menu at Wendy’s,” he says, dodging my fist as I go to punch him in the arm. After a few playful hits, he concedes and gives me my way, at least for the time being. “Fine, fine. Fatburger it is.”
“Thank you for being so agreeable,” I say, slamming my locker shut and leading the way out of the near-empty hall. There’s nothing like Fridays, especially after the long week I’ve had. My headache from this morning is still lingering, but thankfully not full force. I’ll take something for it when I get to my mom’s house. As I rub my temples, ready to release the stress of this place, I notice KJ and Misty talking at the opposite end of the hall. Whatever they’re talking about looks pretty intense and Misty’s near tears. Why do we give up our power so easily to trifling dudes?
