by Kim Itae
'I was fighting with something all day. I don't know what it was. I cannot see. Well. Still I tore it up into pieces. I put it into the black hole. It will not come back. More of that sort will come though. Everyday. Do I care? Not much. Tired. Happy. Buzzing. Got used to it. Got a bit of confidence. The smell of my confidence? It's scent.'
12 Dec 2014
"Something wrong with Bloomberg... Recovered yet?"
"Hurdling to avoid government shutdown. Third time in a row."
"$59.99/B. Jesus... some self desructive behavior can be expected as a result. Some will try to make a real quick money to compensate the loss."
'Doctors at Guantanamo could their job as they had no sympathy for other human being. CIA drove them into group phychopath state. Abhorrent? What does it mean? Law suits will follow for damaging their mental health. I heard some of them committed suicide.'
"My husband is using Spotify again. What's wrong with him? Why does he have to listen to Brahams kind of shit? Something to do with the grouse... will let you know later."
"By the way, Peter said he got the budget roughly 236 a year."
"No one wants to take a risk for the considerable time. Don't you think, John?"
"Keep the margin level 500 strict. We are heading for a clearance sale."
"The Indian nonpolar king left me a message saying 'Thank you very much for your instructions. The boys are doing very well and they are very healthy as well. I will look after them and make sure they go the best university after this season. Now the whole heaven descended. I will not contact you again. Best wishes. Murti.'"
Ana was glad to hear that message and wondered whether he is the same family with the philosopher Krishna Murti. His book 'the fire of self-awakening' was great help when she was in Japan. She could distance herself from everything time to time and put her whole self into something. It was very economic way of using mind.
"Black Friday is American's. Not mine. And Americans are torturing other people. They are choking their own people to death."
"Endless shuffling. And see how much we can go."
"Let us have a massive bowel movement."
"Do not make me have a headache. I am seriously constipated. I mean it."
"Enough of sniffling @..@"
"I got two little yellow pills. Too powerful that I am afraid of taking them."
"I will take just one tonight so I can have a nice sleep. I will take another one possibly on Sunday night in case."
"But it's so powerful I am still reluctant. Too explosive."
"What the hell... John, I took two. It is supposed to work with 2-3 hours. I am dead. It might be like Pineapple Express, the worst strom in California. Ready for a screenshot for Good Friday?"
"Margin Level 580. Full stop. Bottle up."
"Focus on your feet rather than your hand. Focus on your hand rather than your heart. Focus on your heart rather than your mind. Mind is the last one to focus.(Shin Young Bok, from 'contemplation from a prison'."
"If you focus on your feet, we can feel each other."
'This is what you call Quantum Physics. We are based on this absolute grid-like dimension. All the real magic came from this knowledge. You are constantly in and out of this world, where there is no me. Just us. One. One soul. People call it god or sky or something. Quite holly but at the same time merciless. No space for mercy. As it is not a human mind. Call it Home.'
"John, I will cook Korean Luxury Fire Meat. Tune the channel."
"Close the door. I closed the dock."
Ana thought of her brother, at this time of day, at this kind of day.
She thought he was not cold blooded. He was just resilient. It was in his blood.
'I must have been heavily drunk. All these years. What am I doing here? I do not take any cash out of this. I do not take any commission either. In order to make a better decision. In order to keep my reputation. No cash. That is funny. So why am I doing this? The reason? I feel them. I feel them. I feel their thighs, I can see them. They deal a few millions a day. They loose a few millions a day. What time is this? Half past nine on friday. They are still there. I can see you. Chewing gum, not much tired, trying to finish today in a nice way. You are chewing something. You think 'oh well, it's about finishing time. fuck it.' Then again, you are intrigued in the last minute. Last five minutes. If you jump in right, you can make a hundreds at least. Forty minutes left. You are wondering... Shall I go home to shag or shall I stay and go home to shag?'
'I do not know where I am. Do you?'
'I know I was in hell. But I bring down the whole heaven down here. What do you think?'
'Good Job?'
'59.99 do you know what this means?'
'if yes, you are ok. if no, you have no chance.'
13 Dec 2014
"Saturday Morning briefing:
1. US energy bonds trading as distressed securities. (FT)
2 . Compelled investors sold shares and corporate bonds. (trying to find safer place to invest)
:Turmoil of fund. Money started flowing violently. Yee haw! Surfing USA!!!"
"WTI 57.81: 60.00 was a kind of resistance line. Once it's broken, there is no buttom."
"Oil and 10yr go together."
"Do not use Bloomberg terminal. Something wrong. At least for a week until it's fixed."
"Personally I do not think that anybody can rest this weekend. It's like Gulf stream. If you do not join the current in time, you loose your whole tribe."
Ana sent a little email to KCIC.
"유가 급락으로 인한 미 10년 국채 부도 예상, 급전환 바람(US 10 yr bonds will be dishonored by significant oil price drop. Request of urgent reconversion)."
She sent another little email to Yamamoto Sense in Tokyo.
"Hayaku Shinakereba Narimasen. Mono Sugoku Abunai Jotaidesu. (You cannot help doing fast. It is a highly dangerous state."
She knows this silence. The silence before the typhoon. Utterly quiet and slightly steamy. So quiet, you can hear the movement of nervous insects. She used to pack her passport and cash in case.
14 Dec 2014
Ana woke up in a shit state. She had a dream. She had to do two MAs. Full of shit stuff to do. Her husband was so drunk, he did not recognize her. Her best friend was seducing him, telling her to join them. She just turned around to her desk and tried to figure out how many hours are left and whether she could finish them within those limited hours. Desperation, anger and sweat woke her up. It took a few minutes to realize that all those things were dream. Still they were haunting her.
'What do I have to do? What do I have to do? No idea. If I know what I am doing, I cannot do it. I cannot do it.'
That's her Sunday morning start. She did not know how much money she moved the day before. She does not want to know either. Quite a lot. Actually she did not move the money. She sent a few texts and emails and calls to the ones who has money. Sometimes she feels like a little pocket monster. Not a Pikachu. Rather a Jigglypuff. As soon as she starts singing, everybody starts falling asleep. While they are sleeping, their money starts shifting around. When they wake up, they find their pockets full of money. They are satisfied, so they do not complaint.
"John, I will adjust my brainwaves."
"Hangover again, Ana? Do not drink too much."
"It's all Mario's fault. He started talking about quantom physics again yesterday. His theory drove me mad. I cannot stand him."
"Don't you worry. He is on the right track. He is loaded."
Ana's stomach started gurgling. She blamed the hostess of last night's party. She made mulled wine with bottles labelled as 'Mulled Wine'. Basically cheap wine.
"Call me, gurgling Jiggling. I will have a serious diarrhea, Chiao, Jose."
"Do not call me Jose. I am John. See you later. By the way, moderate your stomach soundwave."
"Agitated 168–200 BPM. Let's say 180. Beatmatching.
At ease 60–72 BPM for the 2nd movement in a flat mode. Down to 58.
; Use the following search engine: http://uk.search.yahoo.com/
Copy & Paste 'beethoven piano sonata no 14 3rd'.
Click the bright, digital image for video(not human face involved).
Otherwise use http://vimeo.com/111190716.
Enjoy the night. Ha Ha."
Ana was not sure whether it's her sighing or laughing. There was no time for self-loathing. The most boring thing to think in the world. If you can forget yourself, you are happy. Not small you, but big you are happy.
'Carl, how big I am?'
'You are as big as the universe.'
He used to lift her up and swing around until she said
'I feel sick. Lemme down. I'll throw up.'
It was her brother, now in a wheelchair, commanding. It was a traffic accident. He finished his work at 2 o'clock in the morning and drove his home. He is still alive. God knows how much he is handling.
"Ana, why won't you work properly for me?"
"I am ok."
"Because you got a rich husband?"
"Yes."
"Because you have no gut?"
"Yes."
"Because you are lazy?"
"Yes."
"Because I have no legs?"
"No."
He always succeeded to bring tears in her eyes. He will bring tears in somebody else's eyes as well. Time has come. The Typhoon.
"Ana, see the news."
"What? I did morning briefing, didn't I?"
"No. The news."
"What? The Cheney shit?"
"No..."
"Shit!!! $40 per barrel... Jesus..."
"What shall we do?"
"Fuck. Let's dance, shall we?"
"Sure, kiddo."
"Ho Ho... surely you get exited."
From Bloomberg
'"Our expectation in OPEC is that after 2020, the oil industry in the U.S. will decline” due to the nation’s low reserves, he said. The U.S. won’t become self-sufficient in oil and will continue to depend on Middle Eastern supply, El-Badri said.'
El-Badri is a OPEC Secretary-General.
Ana was trying to think.
'Normally the price of crude oil is nothing compared to the refined oil. Refining industries are the main point of earning actual money. US has earned money through these industries. Now OPEC basically threanten US not to provide them enough crude oil to refine. They are building their own refining factories as US is not strong enough to make wars in middle-east.'
'US have been making wars in middle-east to prevent for OPEC to build their own infrastructure. Buying crude oil at cheap price, selling them back at higher price plus weapons. Now this chain is broken. Qatar stocks got in bear market.'
Russia is one of the biggest oil exporting countries.
Both Russian Rubles and China Ren Min Bi are not in the Forex yet.
US is collapsing, visually. OPEC is choking US neck until they make sure it's dead. Or decapitate US as US did to the 2 year old girl in Syria.
"You will see the real news tomorrow."
"John, shall we make a bet tonight? What is Putin's favorite game? If it's not Tetris, he is not a Russian. What is yours? What do you think is Russian's favorite game? They have been quiet about this oil price. They are exporting a lot..."
"Ana, that will be Ana Karerina. What a coincidence. She did not play a game. That was her game. She enjoyed full. She put everything into him. She lost. She finished her life. Sorry, my point is that Russians are hot. They will put everything into something. At the moment it is money. Money is their new young lover. Who is on their way?"
US seems to be everybody's enemy now. Cheney said he will do the same interrogation again. What on earth could he say that in public? Cornered mouse. Revilement. Filthy scum, indeed.
"Understood. By any chance, can it be Candy? So suckable, don't you think?"
"Don't push yourself too much. Night."
3rd Week December 2014
15 Dec 2014
"2.08%, $57.81. Good morning ~~;"
"Is anybody still using Michigan? If yes, forget it. 5 min ahead preorders? It won't work anymore. Michigan received 2 million a year from Reuter. Quite cheap deal, don't you think? That price indicates the impact of the news which Michigan provides. 2 million a year. A price of gum."
"IEA expects the 230,000bpd decrease of crude oil demand(from KCIC): $40 is not a joke. OPEC started earning more by investment rather than selling. That's why they don't care about petrodollars. They will not take them either. So how can US pay for oil? A mystery."
"If anybody knows the answer, please let me know * *:"
"FOMC 'law interest rate for a considerable time'(from KCIC): so cautious about inflation because it's about to be burst. Early redemption of US 10yr bonds. Check who asked first. Jinping or Qatar."
"...John, do you know where Christine is nowadays? She has been so quiet. It's about seasonal time for her to appear to break that spaded pigeon's wings, no? Ana."
"Alert from KCIC. The sovereign default."
'Was that your problem? You cannot understand passion, or in other words, obsession. Why do you think apathy is higher intelligence?'
Ana asked herself.
"I took a nice and long nap as I have neither kids nor housekeeping works. Did you take a nice and long nap too, John?"
The day is darker than usual. When Ana woke up from her nap, she did not know where she was. Very quiet. A few noises from the street. Empty house. Messy garden. She had nothing to do, so she went back to bed again.
'What a sad creature I am.'
She wanted to pull all her hairs out. She is synchronized with the chart physically. She thought if there is another credit crunch, she will become clinically depressed according to the chart. She knew quite a few committed suicide 2008. Not a kind place.
"John, is there a memorial service today?"
"Ana, back to bed. It's just a dish washing."
"By the way, do you like pork cutlet in Jap style called Don Kass? Or are you playing physiological game with me? I don't mind being a guinea pig as far as you give some pleasure. Otherwise I will bite you as a genetically modified chimp."
Ana was a first generation IVF baby. She thought she was adopted. But her mum gave her a natural birth. Egg and sperm unknown. She had identity crisis all the time. Who am I? Where did I come from? Biologically? Shitty questions but they never left her mind.
16 Dec 2014
"Monin, Monin :::"
"Putin's favorite game is Candy. Level 17. Not happy with rubbles."
"AE is ready for 40 soldiers."
"SS has reached 30 mile port."
Ana's little summary:
'I did not know Petrodollars is included in the 1tn budget. At this rate, they cannot make 1tn for inverting government shutdown. OPEC wants to crush US government with oil money. Very natural as a revenge. US almost destroyed the whole Middle-East for oil money.'
"John, Let us see who is happy today. I am not happy. And you?"
"Still in the subway."
"i tink im tik."
"Spell them properly."
"Ok. I think I am thick."
Ana thought,
'Why am I the last one always? Why am I the last one to know that all these terror shits are American jobs. They even killed their own people. 911. So obvious. Give us oil or we kill you as terrorists. The actual reason behind this is that OPEC refused and will refuse dollars as payment. Petrodollar is the back bone of Texans, ie, Republicans. No money, no power. Their back will be bend backwards. That American Shit! Back to Colorado! You are making me have bleeding piles. When I had internal hemorrhage, there was Fukushima accident 311. I do not know what will happen if I have external hemorrhage.'
The reason. US tried to open a route to get their troops out from Afghanistan. Pakistan asked a lot of money. Syria is blocked. Iran, no way. During last 10 years. 10 years ago, Saudi Arabia first refused dollars as payment for oil. What a coincidental timing.
"Usual. No selling today.
Too tight."
Ana's lazy afternoon note:
'I nearlly escaped the death by a skin of my teeth. The emotion which saved me was anger. Anger moved my fingers. My fingers moved my almost frozen heart. At near death, I felt a surge of hormone, different from Endolphine. Almost like morphin. I guess, when the heart stops providing oxygen to the brain, the brain start shooting something. Orphine? I knew the name. I can not remember. Anyway, that's why people who died naturally without trauma look so peaceful and even happy. That time bomb like hormone relaxes the muscle. With technique of medidtation, you can bring down your brain activity almost level of zero. Is that what Buddha called Nirvana? Shit, I almost died. I had better no do that shit again. I was almost choked to death. Really scary...'
She had a cup of coffee.
"So, who had fun with Roubles today? Good for you. He will come back with other shockings, I bet."
"My brain is dead. Only fingers are alive. And you, John?"
"My fingers are dead. My brain is still ok, Ana."
"Putin is at level 17. We are at level 109. A bit different level, no? Putin needs more friends. Or lots of gold or oil."
Ana and Carl, both loved online games like Lineage. One day Ana asked,
'Carl, why are you watching me playing all the time? Am I so pretty?'
'No. Ha ha... You are rather good. I think you might save me one day, baby sis.'
'Not bad today. Look... I went through all the way. Homework done. Ta Ta.'
That night, Ana was winging all night.
'My back hurts... my head hurts... my fingers are numb...'
Her mum said,
‘You had better not play that boyish fighting game.’
Ana started hiccupping and shut her mouth up.
"Do you fancy squid stir fry? I will get some onions first."
"Ana, shall we close down our shop as I ate quite a bit today."
"Yes, why not. I am just watching. I have six sense about my brother. He might pop in tonight for his lunch. As the 40 mention was quite something. I am waiting for his offensive and deffensive battle. He is very offensive and very deffensive, you know. By the way, where are you?"
"Still in the office. Logging jobs, you know."
"I cooked some oden soup and sent a text to Carl that I am cooking oden soup. He said whatever. He knows the meaning of oden. Oden means 'Your magesty Sky' in Japanese. Ha ha..."
