"You don't have to worry…I'm gonna touch you all over and we'll make love until we can't any more, then we'll go back to work again…"
She got up and took her dress off slowly.
He stared at her. "You are the prettiest thing I've ever seen."
"Do you want me?" she dangled her dress in the air.
He got up and crushed her to him.
They made love for hours, then went out in the field and worked all afternoon.
Today, years later, he still wanted her. And she still wanted him. She couldn’t and didn’t resist him, as he was the first black man she had known. He was so gentle, and he was her first real love. All that first summer they slipped into the little shack and made love over and over and then went back to work as though nothing had happened.
However, as time went on, she had come to care about Jacob much more than she let on, and that created an ache in her heart that she didn’t understand. Every time they were alone, she wanted him. He knew it, and the feeling was mutual. Moreover, every time he touched her, she cared a little more. The way Jacob touched her was different.
"We’ll work double hard, after…" she cooed, moving so she brushed up against him, knowing how it tempted him.
His eyes took on a strange look when her breast lightly grazed his arm, and a button popped open on her shirt. She glanced down, then up with a teasing smile. "Oops." She laughed softly. "I’m gonna have to throw this ole shirt away, why just look, it’s too little for me, think I should get rid of it now?" She teased.
"Stop that." Jacob’s frown slid to her shirt. He licked his lips. She could feel his mouth there, as she continued to torture him. Torturing Jacob wasn't fun until he quit fighting it and gave in to his feelings.
She unbuttoned another button, her breast heaved against the thin cotton. Jacob gasped.
Her breast were not big, but they were perky, and the shirt she wore was several sizes too small for her.
"Missy…you askin’ fer trouble." He shook his head, but there was a slight smile on his face. She liked teasing him, because she knew he couldn’t resist her long.
"Of course I am. I want you. You want me. Why shouldn’t we?" She moved in closer.
"Miss Rose, you know why." He gave her a serious glance and pretended more interest in the corn. She could smell his heat. She knew he wanted her.
"You don't like me anymore Jacob." She pouted.
"You know I do…" He stared down at her, his eyes going to her breast, his lips moved as though he had a nipple in his mouth. "You smell so pretty Missy," he whispered when she just stood there staring up at him.
"Do I, Jacob?" She batted her lashes at him.
"You know you do. You puts that stuff on fer me, don't you? But this ain’t right and you know it." he protested.
"Kiss me and tell me it ain’t right." She whispered near his ear, as she tiptoed to reach him. “We been doin’ this for a long time Jacob, we ain’t gonna stop now, are we?" she challenged him. Her breast moved against him again, one nipple was exposed to him and he trembled, visibly trembled. She tiptoed, turned his head toward her, and her lips touched his, slowly, tentatively, provocatively. "Kiss me back…" she whispered.
Her constant sliding against him obviously had him in knots as he tried to get away from her several times. She just followed.
Then as if he had enough teasing, he turned and grabbed her to him, and kissed her for all she was worth. His lips moved methodically over hers, nipping, kissing, pulling at her lower lips as though he was hungry for the taste of them. Jacob’s kisses were so different, so exciting. His tongue slid out and waltzed inside her mouth, mating with hers. She groaned, and molded herself to him. Her fingers running through his short curly hair.
"You want me, don’t you Jacob." She whispered against his ear as her breath sent goose bumps over him. She smiled when she felt them.
She stared up at him, and then she let one suspender loose, and her breast peaked out at him.
"I don't live a day I don't. You know that."
She smiled into his shiny eyes. "You know, I don't need this shirt at all…" she smiled as his eyes sought the shirt.
"You are one beautiful woman, Missy." He said his voice rough with needs.
She unbuttoned it and pulled it from her, tossing it in the air. Her breast fell against the rough of the overall, and she made a face. "You know…these overalls are kind of scratchy."
He shook his head. His head bent and he took her nipple in his mouth, caressing it with his wet tongue. "I can’t lie. I always want you…Miss Rose." His voice was soft against her ear now, his breathing hard.
"I want you too, Jacob. Then what’s to stop us?" she asked.
“Anyone catches us, I’m a dead man. You know that,” he whispered as he took her nipple again, his lips swelled over her warm and wet and she leaned her head back and offered her breast for his feast. She squirmed, and jumped on him, throwing her legs around him. They tumbled to the ground. She giggled.
He stared at her as he was on top of her. She completely undid the other suspender and waited for it to fall away from her, all the time watching his eyes find her. He ran his hands inside, finding her naked, and groaned as he began to knead her butt in his hands and brought her hips up against him hard. This time the kiss was harder, more determined to conquer her. Her breast tingled from touching his chest. She could feel the curly hairs on his chest, teasing her. She felt herself grow wet and ready for him. Her fingers ran over his hot sweaty chest now. Her tongue shot out to lick a drop from near his nipple. She needed him, had to have him. Her mouth came up to kiss his nipples, and she felt him grow against her.
"I wouldn’t let anyone hurt you Jacob." Rose said taking his face into her hands. "I love you too much. I'd die for you, my love." Her gaze caught his and his breath hitched.
She was naked in his arms now, and he stood there loving on her, kissing her and then he slowly picked her up in his arms as his lips fastened on to her.
"Don’t say that…don’t say that again." He tried to push her away. But she held on tighter.
"Why not, it’s true. You know it is…We got feelin’s for each other. Real feelin's. We've had them from the start. Even when I was a little girl you used to look at me like I was some kind of toy you wanted.
"The way you'd lick your lips around me. And I'll never forget the first time. I wanted you so bad. You were so gentle with me, like I might break. We must have made out every day those first few months. You didn't hide your love for me, then. Don't now. I love you, and I’m proud to be your woman, Jacob. I am yours. You know that, I know that. Some things can’t be denied, Jacob." Her gaze devoured him as she stared, and this time she took his hand and guided him inside her. “Touch me, kiss me, make love to me, and then we'll get this whole field done in one day. But I need you now. I need to feel you inside me, filling me. It don’t matter what color you are, Jacob, what we feel is real, and has been for a long time."
"From the first day I met you, I wanted you. And every day that want grew. Until one day, I knew you were ready for me. I could see it in your eyes. We had to be together. I fought it for so long."
His hand grabbed her gently, and then went to pull her hips hard against him. She threw back her head and sighed at his domination.
She pulled just far enough away to look into his love-drugged face. “We’ll have to make sure no one catches us. Let’s get back in the middle of the field. No one will see us there. We could be here for hours and no one would find us.” she whispered breathlessly. "Carry me, Jacob, and take my clothes. But let's make love and seal our love forever."
"No ma’am, we can’t be here for hours. We gots work to do." Jacob picked her up in his arms and carried her to the middle of the field, his breathing labored, his movement fast. Distress lined his handsome face as he stared down into her eyes. His lips covered hers hotly. And as he kissed her face, he whispered, “Miss Rose…I’m lovin’ you.” He continued gently. "Don't cry. You know I lov
e you. God knows I never had me a Negro woman. Just you. I don’t know anything else but you…and to love you."
"Would you rather have a Negro woman?"
"I'd rather have you every day of my life."
"I know…I know, Jacob. I’ve known you loved me for a long time. And…oh God help us… I love you too." She cried out in misery and pulled his head down for another kiss. "There’s something so different when you touch me Jacob. I love your kisses. I love the look in your eyes when you take me. I love the way you protect me, shelter me, care for me. Oh Jacob…you got nice lips…nice everything…" She smiled warmly into his face.
"Don’t talk like that. Don’t ever talk like that again. What we got, is good Miss Rose. It always will be because I feel somethin’ for you when I touch you. And I know by the way you respond, you feels something fer me too. I feel your love. When I hold you like this…I feel… strong…like I can conquer the world." He whispered for her ears only. His head came to rest against hers, "I got to find a place for us." He said as he neared an old field that was overgrown. He laid her down, staring at her. She leaned back in his arms, putting her head in his lap. "Kiss me…" She smiled at him. His lips caressed her as his hands explored her tempting body. His finger dipped inside her warm wet nest and she sighed as he began making love to her.
"You’re so strong. Show me how much you love me. Make me yours again." She deliberately touched his manhood that was only covered by the pants he wore. She knew if he pulled them down, he'd be naked. He'd already shed his shirt. She loved looking at him. Running her hands over him. She loved the feel of the cool breeze against her breast, and the way Jacob’s eyes went all dark and misty when he looked at them. His gaze seemed to touch her there. Her nipples hardened just thinking about how his lips would feel against her. He had nice firm well shaped lips, but when he kissed her they seemed to swell over her. His tongued danced against the tips until she was so hot she could barely stand it. If his eyes were any sign, he was on fire for her, and she enjoyed knowing it.
He laid her on the soft ground, and in one flip, he moved all the clothes from his body and hers and smothered her with kisses all over. The gentle way he touched every part of her, kissing, tasting, licking He glanced around to make sure no one was about. Then his big hands went inside exploring and finding her hot love nest once more. His lips covered her breast, and she arched her back to him so he could take them fully into his mouth. His tongue worked magic against her nipples. "I do love you, baby." he said.
"I love you too, Jacob." She smiled, reaching down to find him. His bulge told her he was more than ready. He was so big there. She marveled at his size. "Sometimes I lay awake at night, just thinking about you."
"You know I’m too big fer you and I hurt you…"
"No you’re not." she protested hotly. “And you haven't ever hurt me. Back then I wasn't stretched enough to take you in. Now I am. I can't believe how patient you were with me, how long it took to get you inside me all the way. Oh Jacob, I’ve told you, we fit so well…you’re the only one that fits me. That’s part of what makes making love with you so special. I need you. I like the way you fill me Jacob…really…you fill me…you’re the only one that fills me so." She smiled up at him. “You can reach up where no one else can, we are one when we make love and you know that as well as I, you feel it too, I know you do. This is the way love is supposed to be. Isn’t it? So very good."
He looked down at her and smiled. "Then I gots to fill you Missy, to show you how much I care. How much I love ya."
"How long have you loved me Jacob?" she murmured in his ear, as his lips kissed and tugged and pulled on her small but pouting breast.
His lips slid up to kiss her jaw. “Since you first rubbed up against me and teased me, you was only twelve but you already had a figure. I knew then any day you was gonna be a woman and I wondered how I would keep my hands off you then. And I knew you wanted me. I was so scared to take you that first time, but we had to be together. Kisses weren't enough."
"That was a long time ago. You looked mad at me then…"
"I was, because I wanted you so." He smiled. “And you knew I wanted you. I thought… well, I thought you was just teasin’. But when we came together somethin’ was so different, so special about you. I knew how I felt then. But we was young and I didn’t figure you’d believe me, if I said how I really felt. Now you know…and I know…"
"I'm your woman, Jacob. I always have been.” she cooed. “I don’t know why so many make such a fuss over the color of skin. That ain’t got anything to do with anything. We should be together always, Jacob. I wish we could be, I truly do…don’t you?"
"I shore do, baby, but you know as well as me…it cain’t be. What we want, what we feel, it has to be just this. You must always remember that, Rose. It's important.This is all we can ever have."
They made love half the morning, and then he pulled her clothes back in place and just held her for a while. She could still feel his arousal, but she knew they had to find a way to wind down.
She buttoned his shirt and then looked at him.
"God I love you…I wish I could tell the world." she cried and hugged herself to him. "Hold me Jacob. Tell me you love me. I need to hear it every day. I need you inside me every day. I want you in my bed. Oh…it's all so hopeless, isn't it?"
He nodded. "We'll just go on, lovin' each other till someone catches us or we die…I wish you were a Negro woman." he whispered. "It’d all be so right, if you were black. If I could color you, I would."
"Okay, color me a beautiful golden black, with long lashes and beautiful black wavy hair, and lips like yours, soft and full." She smiled at him.
"Lawd, you are too perfect to ever mess with like that. I want you just like you are, Miss Rose, no changes. Just you. You are such a perfect woman. I feel ten feet tall when you touch me like you do. Like you care, like you want me, like you love me. Oh honey, I wish we could live with each other, marry even. You are the only woman I've ever loved and you know it." He pulled her closer.
“I know that. Me too…but it ain’t possible. Is it?"
"No…it ain't. Just let’s think about our dream of bein' together. Just let’s dream on it. Oh Jacob, I wish we were free to love like we should. To have a bed together where we could make love long into the night and to be together every day like this. When you hold me, I know the world is safe."
"Baby there ain’t no such place on this world for the two of us."
"I know, but I can dream, Jacob. When I’m with you I do dream."
"You’re more precious to me than anything I own."
He circled her nipples with one hand, "Lawd knows I truly love you," Jacob whispered, smothering her with another kiss as his hands went over her once more.
"I think…that someday Jacob, when we go to Heaven, you and I…we’ll be together. I think God himself will deem it so. He knows our love is pure." She cooed in his ear, all the while moving gently against his touch.
His tongue flicked against her ear, and she moaned raggedly as he sent spirals of satisfaction through her entire body. "I love it when you do that." She cried.
"Me to baby."
"I think about you at night, when I'm in bed, alone. I think how we could run away and be together always."
She stared into his dark eyes, seeing the truth of his words and feeling the hurt of loving her in his gaze. "Sometimes I wish I was black too, Jacob. Sometimes I do too. But then, it’s my white skin that turns you to mush when I’m up against your black skin, my rose colored breasts that make you salivate. My dark curly hair against pale white skin that heats you. Our differences draw us. Look at you…you are beautiful for a man. I love your muscles, your strength, your… dignity and how you make love to me."
"If you were black, you’d be my wife by now, I’d marry you and we’d have a dozen babies.”
"Oh Jacob, don’t make me cry," she wailed. "You know I feel the same. I’d love to have your babies." He touched his lips to her
cleavage and held her against him for a long time as his thumb absently stroked the tips of her nipples.
He put his hand inside the overall once last time, he squeezed her love nest tight, and then let her go.
"We'd have a house full of sweet ones. Hmm…to feel your big round tummy, with our baby inside, would be heaven on earth."
"You’re a fine man Jacob. One fine man," she cooed, as his lips ran over hers softly. "Oh Jacob…" she murmured she tried to pull him back around to look at her. "Does it ever bother you that I like Hank and George too? Not like you, of course. No one is like you Jacob, you've got to know that. But…I must make sure they stay here on the farm, they are important to keeping this place going."
"Naw Missy, I know my place. What we got, well, it can’t get any better than it is now. I know that. And I know that somehow, someway, and someday, you’ll pick someone to marry. It's expected. I know there is some things that gotta be." He nodded. "We give each other pleasure, that’s all that matters. We love each other. I know that in my heart. You are the only pleasure I have…the only pleasure I need to fulfill me. Just knowin’ you are here for me, that we can be together sometimes, is enough. I make it enough."
She frowned up at him, wishing he hadn’t said that, wishing life could be better for him. But he pulled her into a tender embrace, holding her against him.
"Mama wants to sign papers to make you a free man. Would you leave me and find another?" She wailed softly.
"Don't be sad, if it weren’t for you I’d go mad. That’s why I can’t say no…that and I love you. And you know it. I don't know what I would do for sure. You deserve a life, to be a wife and mother. But letting you go would be the hardest thing I could ever do."
"Oh Jacob, I love you too…and sometimes…well…sometimes I think what it would be like to be together always. Like today when you were so gentle with me, and yet you pleased me like no other man, so satisfying, I can do days without." She whispered for his ears as he held her close.
Always Remember Page 5
