“Let’s get a glass of wine first. I think I’m going to need it.”
He took the bottle from her shaking hands and opened it. Glasses in hand, they settled themselves back in the lounge next to each other on the couch.
Nicole arched an eyebrow and eyed him with expectation.
Josh’s mouth twisted a few times before he began. “Okay, where do I start?”
“At the beginning would be good. I’ve never understood why you would up and leave the way you did.” She tried to keep calm, but the same old anxieties crept into her voice.
He shrugged. “What can I say?”
She reached out and placed a hand on his. “Just tell me the truth. I’m stronger than I look. You should realise that by now, Josh.”
“Okay. Looking back, it all seemed to happen in a whirlwind, I was swept along by trying to do the right thing for my family that I totally forgot about you.”
“I noticed.” She smiled tightly.
“Well, that came out wrong. I guess this is going to be a tough exercise for both of us to get our heads around…again, please bear with me until the end?”
She nodded and took a sip of wine.
He tried again. “If I remember rightly, I told you that I had to take my dad for a check-up at the hospital.”
“That’s right. I seem to recall our last conversation was about that. So, what happened?”
He sighed heavily. “Dad was diagnosed with cancer.”
“No! Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I had no idea. But that doesn’t explain why you felt the need to run out on me like that.”
“Do you have to put it so abruptly?”
Nicole could tell he was trying to use a little humour to break up the tension. “I’m listening, carry on.”
“Well, he pleaded with me not to tell anyone. He said that he was ashamed that a disease could consume him in such a devastating way.”
She shook her head in confusion. “That’s ridiculous, Josh.”
“He made me promise, and I couldn’t go against his dying wish—at least that’s how he put it across to me.”
“So, what did you do? Where did you go?”
“He wanted to see the world before he died. It had always been his ambition. I couldn’t deny him that, could I?”
“I guess not, but if you had confided in me, I would have understood. You’re not telling me makes me out to be a callous bitch.”
“Don’t be silly. I’ve never thought of you in that way. I’ve never had a reason to.”
“Ah, but it’s obvious you didn’t trust me either. Otherwise, you would have taken me to one side and explained the situation. Had the shoe been on the other foot, I would have granted you the same decency. We loved each other, Josh. How the hell did you think I felt when you just took off like that, no explanation, No reassuring words that you would return?”
“I’ve explained why, Nicci. I had Dad’s dying wish to consider. I was young back then, naïve. We both were.”
“Yes, young and in love. At least I was. Obviously you never had the same deep feelings I had.”
“That’s not fair. I loved you…if I hadn’t loved you as much as I did, I wouldn’t have set you free.”
“What? Are you serious? You set me free? How in God’s name do you work that one out?”
“I left you to get on with your life. The thought occurred to ask you to wait for me, but that wouldn’t have been fair on you.”
“What? So you disappeared and didn’t tell me for my benefit? You have a warped view on what’s right and wrong in a relationship, if you think that is the way to handle things, Josh.” She sat back and shook her head slowly.
“I know that now. I’ve matured over the years enough to know that what my father asked of me and how I approached it all was wrong. However, by the time I’d realised that, I thought it was too late, for us. I just presumed that you would have moved on with your life and not…”
“Been as bitter and twisted as I am now, you mean?”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. I wasn’t going to say that.”
His head dropped, and in spite of Nicole feeling hurt and disappointed in the way things had turned out, she couldn’t help but have pity on him. “Your actions moulded my life, Josh. I felt a failure, in relationship terms, that is. Every time a man showed interest in me after you left, I shuddered at the thought of being tossed aside again. It’s your fault that I’ve tarred men with the same brush over the years. Entirely your fault.”
“I’m sorry.” He mumbled the two words over and over again for a few minutes. Then he put a finger under her chin and forced her to look at him. Through narrowed eyes, he asked, “What about Sammy Jo’s father?”
She twisted her head, and his hand dropped back into his lap. “With one exception,” she added before his mind started to slot things into place. By the look on his face though, she had an inkling that had already happened.
Slowly his head moved from side to side. “I don’t believe you. How old did you say Sammy Jo is?”
Her eyes focused on the wine glass in her lap. “Eight.”
“Nicci, look at me.” When she refused, his hand cupped her chin and forced her gaze to meet his. “I don’t believe you.”
She shrugged. He dropped his hand and stood up. He walked over to the picture of Sammy Jo displayed on the sideboard and picked it up. “She’s mine, isn’t she?”
Tears burned her eyes, misting her vision, as she saw his face light up with the realisation that he had a living child he knew nothing about.
Finally she said quietly, “I guess we both had a secret we were determined not to share.”
He gently replaced the photo and covered his face with both of his hands. “I never knew. I’m so sorry. I would never have—”
Nicole left her seat and went over to him. “I had no way of contacting you. I still can’t understand why you didn’t find it in your heart to trust me.”
“I’ve explained all of that. The thing that I have to reinforce is that we had no idea how long my father had to live. I couldn’t and wouldn’t expect you to have waited around for me all those years. He died almost five years later.”
Nicole inhaled a sharp breath. “Five years…why didn’t you return then?”
“It was too late then. It would have killed me to come back and see you happy with another man. It would have crucified me.”
“But we loved each other.”
“And now?”
His question was like a sucker punch to her stomach. After a long pause, she admitted, “Yes, I still love you.”
His smile broadened, and then he surprised her by picking her up and swirling her around as if she was a teenager. “Please, Nicci, let’s start over. Let me take care of you and Sammy Jo. We deserve to be together, to be a family.”
Nicole eased out of his arms. “It’s not just our feelings we have to consider. Sammy Jo and I have a happy, settled life together. I’m not sure I’d want to disrupt that. It wouldn’t be fair to put her through something that may not work out again, would it?”
“I can understand that. What about if we ask Sammy Jo her opinion? Will you tell her that I’m her father? We can go from there.”
“I’m not sure. It might be too soon. She needs to get to know you first. She’s at a vulnerable age.”
Again, he nodded his understanding. “Okay, what about you both coming to a barbecue I have planned tomorrow?”
Nicole’s slight smile never extended into a full one. “After the terrifying week I’ve had, I was anticipating spending some quality time alone with Sammy Jo this weekend.” She took his hand and led him into her daughter’s newly decorated bedroom. “I stayed up until midnight last night painting in here. She hasn’t seen the results yet.”
“It’s beautiful. I’ve heard that people who are creative with their hands have a keen eye and great decorating skills too. This is all the evidence I need to back that claim up.” He placed an arm around her shoulder and kis
sed her.
“Thank you. I had to keep myself occupied. I couldn’t spend all week guarding the front door all through the night. It was bad enough the man ringing me—”
He pulled away from her. “The attacker…he rang you?”
“Not just rang. He turned up outside my bedroom window on a couple of occasions too.”
“I didn’t know. You should have told me. I would never have left you alone, Nicci.”
She shrugged. “He warned me that if I told you about our arrangement or invited you to stay in the house then he would have no hesitation in harming Sammy Jo or me. I couldn’t let anything happen to her. She’s my life, my world. A mother has to do what she can to protect her daughter.”
“Ahh…I think I understand now. That’s why you dropped your daughter at her grandmother’s house.”
“That’s not all.”
He took her in his arms and smoothed a stray blonde hair off her face. “That’s why you’ve been offhand with me all week too.”
“I had to be. I would have loved to have sat down with you sooner than this to thrash out why you deserted me ten years ago, but his threat and menacing behaviour put paid to that.”
He winced. “Deserted? Ouch, that hurts.”
“It’s the truth, whether you like to believe it or not.”
“Granted. The fact that you kept me at arm’s length also tells me that you care enough about me to protect me, like you did with Sammy Jo, am I right?”
Nicole searched for his hand behind her and without saying a word led him into the bedroom next door. She pulled him towards the large pine-framed bed and pushed him down onto it.
“I have no intention of keeping you at arm’s length tonight. We have ten years to make up.”
Nicole straddled him and kissed him. His returning kiss was filled with hunger. He slipped his hands beneath her jumper and slipped it over her head. She worked the front of his shirt loose from his trousers and, with trembling hands, undid the buttons. When they had undressed each other, sharing desperate kisses in between each discarded layer, they stretched out on the bed, side by side.
His finger traced the resulting scars from her pregnancy. Nicole wriggled, feeling embarrassed.
“What’s wrong?” he whispered.
“I’m sorry about the flaws.”
He placed a finger under her chin forcing her to make eye contact with him. “Flaws? It’s a flaw to show that you went through a wonderful thing like bringing another life into the world? Don’t be silly. Your body is still as beautiful as I remember it. You have the softest skin…”
His lips gently kissed the scars on her tummy. Her skin tingled beneath his lips. She held her breath when his lips trailed down between her legs. She gripped the sheet on either side of her as her hips rose to welcome him. He halted, waited for her to look at him before he proceeded. Nicole eyes pleaded with him to take her, to explore the part of her that was longing for his touch. He slipped a finger inside her, causing her to moan. His head lowered, and with his eyes still locked onto hers, he kissed and licked her core. It wasn’t long before she was thrashing her head from side to side as the first orgasm she’d had in years built and erupted.
She gasped, “Josh, please, I need you to take me. I need to feel you inside me.”
He scooted up the bed and kissed her hard on the mouth. She could taste herself on his lips as he entered her, gently at first, until he broke through the barrier that had repaired itself during his absence. Her muscles clenched around his manhood. There was little to hold her back now, as her inhibitions were forgotten. She screamed out as desire overwhelmed her and yet another major orgasm ripped through her.
“I’ve dreamed so long for this day to arrive…never imagining that it would ever come true…Nicole, my love…I’ve loved you and craved for your touch my whole life. I’m never going to let you go again, ever.” His thrust emphasised his point and sent them both into another galaxy, a galaxy where only the two of them existed, their pent-up juices colliding.
The next hour was spent exploring, kissing, and holding each other, both afraid if one let go, the fairy tale would end in a puff of smoke. They drifted off to sleep wrapped tightly in each other’s arms, reminiscent of when their love affair had begun.
EPILOGUE
Nicole stretched the following morning to find her bed empty. Panic quickly rose, and she shot out of bed. Wrapped in her towelling robe, she ventured into the kitchen to find Josh standing at the stove cooking breakfast. She crept up behind him and placed her arms around his chest and rested her cheek against his back. “Good morning.”
“Don’t put off a maestro at work.”
She laughed and released her hold, her stomach grumbled when the delicious smell of bacon permeated her nose. “Can I lay the table?”
“Why not?”
He turned to kiss her briefly before he returned to concentrate on his masterpiece. Nicole could tell he was an accomplished cook.
“I’ll ring Mum first thing to invite her to the barbecue and Sammy Jo, of course.”
“Why not ask Chrissy and your other sisters too?”
“I haven’t really spoken to Melody or Belinda in the past few weeks; they might be busy. I’ll ring Chrissy though. She’ll be over the moon when I tell her we’re—”
“Yes? Why the hesitation?” He flipped the bacon in the pan then looked at her.
“I was going to say, she’ll be over the moon now we’re back together, but on second thoughts…”
He pushed the pan off the stove and gave her his full attention. “Second thoughts?”
She busied herself setting out the cutlery. She had always loved teasing him and was enjoying getting back into the swing of things.
“Second thoughts?” he repeated, marching across the room to force her to look at him.
She smiled. “Not me, no second thoughts for me. I was just saying on second thoughts, we better hold off telling Chrissy until Sammy Jo has been told.”
“Phew…you really know how to strike fear into a man’s heart, don’t you?”
Nicole stepped into his arms and placed her hand against his beating heart. “I’ll be keeping you on your toes, that’s for sure, but never doubt how much I love you. I always have.”
Their tender kiss was interrupted by the phone ringing.
“Hi, Mum. I was just about to ring you.”
“Darling, I wondered what you had planned for today?”
“After I’ve been to the police station, I intend taking the day off. I want you and Sammy Jo to meet someone.”
Her mother gasped. “Police station? What for?”
“They caught the man who attacked me, Mum. It’s safe for Sammy Jo to return home now.”
“Darling, that’s wonderful news. Now, who is this mystery man you want us to meet?”
Nicole laughed. “Who said anything about the mystery person being a man?” She leaned over and kissed him.
“I can hear how happy you are in your voice, dear. It’s been a long time since I’ve heard you so chirpy. Not since whats-his-name!”
“You are funny, Mum. I’ll pick you up around noon, all right? Don’t eat, will you?”
“Ooo lovely, food’s involved too. I’m glad they caught that man, darling. It’ll be great for Sammy Jo and you to get back to normal.”
Nicole’s mouth twisted. Normal. Will my life ever be normal again after this weekend? After the tsunami of feelings I’ve endured this past week? “See you later, Mum.”
“What’s wrong?” Josh asked, returning to the stove.
“Nothing. It’s just something Mum said. I’m sure everything will be fine. Hey, is that nearly ready? I’m starving.”
“Yes, and me too. We did work up rather an appetite last night.”
“Oh, it’s wasn’t the physical exercise that was the problem. It was missing dinner I was talking about.” She winked at him.
“Bloody cheek. I’m serving up now.”
They ate breakfast an
d showered together before they set off for the police station, after which they headed into town to the supermarket to stock up for the barbecue.
“Damn, I forgot to ring Chrissy.” She dialled the number. Her sister sounded half-asleep still. “Sorry, did I wake you?”
“Just lying here, dozing. What’s up, Sis?”
Nicole quickly recapped the fact the police had the man banged up in a cell and then asked, “What are you up to this afternoon?”
“Nothing much, why?”
“Get up. I’ll come by and pick you up at eleven thirty before I drive over to Mum’s. Just wear jeans, casual, all right?”
“Sounds intriguing. Is there a man involved in these arrangements?”
There was no fooling Chrissy. “There might be. Get ready. See you later.”
After the grocery shopping spree had ended, Josh drove back to Nicole’s house, dropped her off, wrote his address on a piece of paper, and headed home to start the preparations for the barbecue.
Nicole carried out her weekly cleaning chores with a spring in her step and a silly love song replaying in her head. At eleven fifteen, she left the house and started on her trip to pick up the members of her family. Being alone in the car with Chrissy was like being in a room with the Gestapo.
“Give it a rest, Chrissy, and don’t say anything about Josh with Mum and Sammy Jo in the car, you hear me?”
“My lips are sealed. Does Josh know about Sammy Jo?”
“Yes, I finally told him last night.”
“I’m glad. Looking at the beam you’re displaying this morning. I guess you two caught up on your ten years apart, yes?”
Colour flooded into Nicole’s cheeks. “That’s for me to know. Oh, look…the girls are waiting for us. They must be excited.”
Chrissy laughed and prodded her in the arm as they turned into their mother’s cul-de-sac. “Nice change of subject there, Nicole.”
Nicole jumped out of the car, hugged her daughter and mother, and settled them into the back of the car.
“Well, this is all rather mysterious. Any hints where we’re going?” her mother asked.
“You’ll see.”
Nicole drove another twenty minutes before she pulled the car to a halt outside a large, white mansion, situated on the edge of the next village. She checked and double checked the address.
Crimes of Passion Page 152
