by Lucy Lennox
Jake pressed a kiss into the palm of my hand, so I took that as a sign he wasn’t going to argue with me and removed my hand. He leaned in and kissed me. “I was so fucking scared, Oz,” he said in a strangled voice. “I saw you go down and then the blood…”
“Shhh, it’s okay,” I assured him with a kiss. “You saved me, Jake. You got us out of there and you saved me.”
He didn’t respond to my statement, which didn’t surprise me in the least. I let my fingers stroke back and forth over his cheekbone. “Jake, who are they?”
He was silent for a beat before he said, “God, Oz, it’s such a long, fucked-up story.” I wondered if that was his way of saying he wasn’t going to tell me, but then he added, “I don’t know where to start.”
“The person you lost,” I began. “Did they—”
“Yes,” Jake cut in. “They killed him when they were trying to get to me. He was in the wrong place at the wrong time. His name was Peter.” Jake shifted a little, then settled his hand on my hip. “I met him when I left Chicago and went to D.C. to do my residency. He was the Chief of Surgery in the hospital I was working at. I was… I was interested in him. He seemed interested in me too, but we never crossed that line. We agreed to just be friends, but my feelings for him were stronger than that.”
“You loved him,” I offered.
Jake nodded. “I did. But I was too afraid to tell him that I wanted more. The summer after my residency, I signed up for Doctors Without Borders. Have you heard of it?”
I nodded and then said, “Yes. Doctors and nurses travel to countries that don’t have adequate medical care, right?”
“Right. I was assigned to go to Colombia. Peter was really supportive of the whole thing. When I left, I got this feeling that… that maybe things would change when I got back. I’d accepted a job at another hospital in the D.C. area so Peter and I would no longer have a professional relationship. I thought…”
Jake’s voice dropped off. My heart broke for him because I could hear the regret in his voice.
“Did something happen in Colombia?” I asked.
Another nod. I was glad I had my hand on his cheek or I wouldn’t have been aware of the response. He was silent for several beats before he said, “I’d been there about two months when this nurse friend asked me to help out this local guy who ran a mercenary group that worked to provide security in the area. The nurse, Megan, told me one of the leader’s men got shot during a mission to save some American hostages… that’s a big thing down there–kidnapping foreigners and ransoming them for money. There weren’t a lot of medical resources in the area besides Doctors Without Borders, and I believed it when Megan told me the guy wasn’t stable enough to be brought to our clinic. So, I went with her.”
My heart thudded painfully in my chest.
“She took me to this really big house just outside the village, which was located along the Magdalena River. My gut was telling me something was off as soon as I met the leader, a man named Diego. But I trusted Megan, so I went to work on the guy who’d been shot. Megan assisted me with the procedure to remove the bullet from the guy, then left to go update Diego. After a good half hour, I went to find her because I was due back for my shift at the clinic. I eventually saw her through a window. She was in the back yard on the patio talking to Diego and another guy. I was about to call out to her when I heard her start yelling at the one guy... not Diego, but the other one. When I realized what they were fighting about, I knew she’d lied to me.”
“What were they fighting about?”
“Drugs,” Jake murmured. “I didn’t hear everything, but enough to know that Megan and Diego had some kind of plan to use Doctors Without Borders to smuggle drugs into the U.S. The third guy seemed pissed that Megan knew who he was because he kept yelling at Diego that they couldn’t have any witnesses. Then just like that, he pulled out a gun and shot Megan in the head.”
I gasped but kept my hand on Jake’s cheek. “Oh god, what did you do?”
“Panicked,” Jake admitted. “Took off like a bat out of hell.”
“Did they see you?”
Jake shook his head. “No, but I knew it wouldn’t take long for them to figure out I’d made a run for it and why. I knew I couldn’t go to the authorities in Colombia because so many are on the payrolls of drug lords. I stopped at the apartment I was staying at only long enough to get my passport before getting out of there. When I landed in D.C., I went straight to the FBI. They interviewed me for hours and hours and finally told me they were bringing in someone from the DEA. They figured the dealer, Diego, was Diego Garza, a high-value cartel leader the DEA had been trying to find for years. The FBI thought I could lead the DEA to Garza or that, at the least, they could try to get me to identify the other guy–I was actually looking at mug shots while waiting for the DEA agent, a guy named James Barton, to arrive.”
Jake took a breath and said, “A fucking soda saved my life.”
“What?” I asked in confusion.
“They had me in this interview room looking at the mug shots. I was thirsty, so I left the room to get a soda from the vending machine. I was on my way back to the room when I saw him.”
“Who?” I asked.
“Him. The guy who’d shot Megan.”
“What?” I asked in disbelief.
“He was talking to the agent I’d been working with. The agent pointed to the room I’d been in and the guy–the shooter–walked toward it. I knew who he was,” Jake breathed as he shook his head. “I just knew.”
“The DEA agent,” I whispered.
Jake nodded.
I closed my eyes because things were falling into place. I’d already accepted how bad it was considering what had happened this afternoon, but to know someone from our own government was involved?
“I took off,” Jake said. “I knew I couldn’t trust any of them. The vending machine was by the stairs, so I just walked out of there.”
“What did you do? Where did you go?”
“I was terrified,” Jake admitted. “I didn’t know what to do. I knew I couldn’t go to the cops or back to my place. I only knew one person locally who’d help me.”
“Peter,” I said.
“I asked him to meet me at a café near the hospital, but I didn’t tell him why. He had a shift to finish, so we agreed to meet afterward. I just… I wandered the streets until then. Always looking over my shoulder, sure that Barton was going to find me at any moment. I just wanted to get to Peter because I knew he’d help me figure out what to do. I wanted to…” Jake paused for a long time before he sucked in a breath. “I was sure I was never going to see him again, and I wanted to tell Peter I was sorry that I hadn’t told him how I felt. I wanted to tell him I shouldn’t have left without telling him I loved him.”
My heart constricted painfully in my chest. Jake’s pain and regret were so profound that there wasn’t even room for any jealousy to surface.
“When I got to the café, he was already there, waiting out front. He was so happy to see me,” Jake murmured. “He hugged me and then told me I shouldn’t be out in the cold without a jacket. He… he gave me his blue scarf.”
I stilled at that as I remembered the beautiful scarf in Jake’s closet.
The one I’d callously tied around a pillow. “Oh Jake, I’m sorry—”
“No,” Jake whispered, cutting me off with a soft kiss. “Don’t even think about apologizing for that, Oz. You had no way of knowing.”
Jake’s hand began coasting up and down my side. “After giving me his scarf, Peter said we should talk inside. He said he had stuff he wanted to tell me too, and I knew it was about us. I’ll never forget how he looked at me. Like he’d never been happier than in that moment.”
I felt tears stinging the backs of my eyes because I knew what was coming.
“He leaned in to hug me and that’s when I heard the pops. I felt this searing pain along my side just above my hip and then Peter collapsed against me. People began scream
ing and running–it was complete chaos. I guess that’s what kept the shooter from taking another shot at me. I rolled Peter over and started CPR, but it was too late.”
Jake choked back a sob as he whispered, “I just left him there.”
“You had no choice, Jake,” I said softly as I moved closer to him, disrupting Boo in the process. But all she did was shift a little so she was curled against Jake’s chest. “He wouldn’t have wanted you to risk your own life by staying.”
I felt something wet and warm beneath my fingers and knew what it was. “I’m sorry,” I whispered as I pressed a kiss to his forehead and held him against me as best I could. His arm went around me, though he was careful not to apply any pressure to my wound. I held Jake as his body shook a few times, then he quieted, his tears eventually drying up. It was almost worse that he refused to let completely go.
But I suspected it was because he needed to be able to keep his wits about him so he could keep us both safe.
“What did you do?” I asked.
“Ran. I ran and ran and ran. For weeks on end. I was too afraid to reach out to anyone to ask for help.”
“Your family?” I asked.
“Them especially,” he said with a nod. “I knew they’d be Barton’s first stop. I was terrified he’d hurt them, but I was powerless to do anything. I figured the less they knew, the better. I tried to monitor them from a distance as best I could.”
“The Facebook page,” I said as I remembered the moment I’d walked in on him browsing what I’d suspected had been one of his parents’ profiles.
“They looked for me for months,” Jake said softly. “They made their profiles public and asked anyone and everyone to share pictures of me so they could help find me. I’m not sure what story Barton told my parents, because all they said in their posts was that I was missing… every once in a while, they’d…”
“They’d what?” I asked when he didn’t continue.
“They’d write a message directly to me on their pages. On my birthday or Christmas. They’d tell me they loved me and beg me to just pick up the phone.” Jake let out a harsh little sound that was half laugh, half sob. “They said I wouldn’t even need to say anything… that they’d know it was me and they’d know I was okay.”
“I’m so sorry, Jake,” I croaked as I rubbed my finger along his neck. After a while I said, “How did you end up in Haven?”
“After leaving D.C. I worked odd jobs for cash here and there–enough to keep food in my belly and rent motel rooms along the way. But I never stayed in one place for long. After a few months, I just couldn’t do it anymore. I was so lonely and scared all the time. So I reached out to this cop I’d met when I was an intern at a hospital in Chicago. I’d saved his grandson’s life when the little boy came into the ER after falling in the family swimming pool. The guy had been so grateful that I knew in my gut he would help me.”
“Did he?” I asked.
Jake nodded. “He told me I had to keep hiding, but he got me a fake ID so I could at least get a decent job and move around a bit easier. Passport, social security card, the works. He also taught me how to use a gun and suggested I learn how to fight so I could defend myself. We only talked at scheduled times and I always used a prepaid phone or a payphone and he did the same. He was able to find out that I’d been named as a person of interest in Peter’s death.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means that any cop has the right to stop me and hand me over to the authorities, but I’m not officially charged with the murder. Barton probably told people like my parents that story so they’d help find me instead of shielding me. My friend was planning to reach out to some contacts he trusted, but when I didn’t hear from him, I assumed the worst.”
“What happened to him? Did Barton get him?” I asked, my heart in my throat.
“No, he died of natural causes. He was with his daughter at the grocery store when he had a massive heart attack.”
I closed my eyes as I realized what he wasn’t saying. “You were alone again.”
“It wouldn’t have mattered anyway,” Jake muttered. “I knew I couldn’t risk what happened to Peter happening to someone else. So I just kept moving. After about a year, I felt comfortable enough to leave the country. I kind of felt like if that was my new normal, I needed to make the best of it, you know?”
“Yeah,” I agreed, though I couldn’t even imagine what something like that would have been like.
“I’d always really enjoyed the outdoors and hiking, so I’d end up in places where I could just explore the land. Live off it for a while. That led to getting paid to do some freelance wilderness guided trips. Then I met Xander. When he talked about Haven, I just… I don’t know, it sounded like the perfect place to lay low for a while.”
I suspected that was only part of the reason Jake had made the move to Haven. Despite how isolated his life had become, I knew in my heart that wasn’t who he really was. I’d seen glimpses of that myself these past few weeks. He hadn’t just needed a place to hide out, he’d needed a friend. And he’d found it in Xander.
Then the people of Haven had given him a new purpose through his work at the clinic.
And I’d ruined it all.
Because I hadn’t been honest about who I was. If he’d known how recognizable I was, he could have avoided me or moved on. Hell, if I’d known about the danger I’d be putting him in, I would have gotten the hell out of Haven.
“Fuck, Jake, I’m sorry. I never should have come here. I ruined your shot at a new life.”
Jake’s fingers drifted along my cheek, then cupped my chin. “Oz, how can you not see it? You didn’t ruin my shot at a new life. You are my shot at a new life.”
Chapter 30
Jake
“Just a little longer, baby,” I said softly as I gave Oz’s fingers a squeeze. “The cabins are on the other side of these trees,” I added as I motioned to the tree line ahead of us. He smiled and nodded, but I knew he was putting on a brave face. He had to be in a good deal of pain, not to mention freezing cold. But I had no doubt the exhaustion was the worst of it. Even though we’d only left the weather station a few hours earlier, to Oz it would have felt like we’d been walking for days. Even I was feeling the strain of trudging through the knee-deep snow, and I was both uninjured and used to surviving the extreme elements.
My thoughts drifted to what it had been like to wake up with Oz in my arms this morning. Despite all the times we’d woken up in the exact same position, with him tucked up against my chest, his nose pressed against my neck, it’d felt so very different this time.
I’d felt different.
And I knew why.
Because I’d finally told someone the truth about my past. No, he hadn’t been able to do much more than listen, but that had been enough. Admitting to Oz how scared and lonely I’d felt all these years and having him hold me and tell me everything would be okay had been exactly what I’d needed. But when he’d started spouting that bullshit about ruining my chance at a new life, that was when I’d really known what I needed to do.
I might have come to Haven to try to find some semblance of normal, but the town and its people, even my friendship with Xander, hadn’t been enough.
Oz was enough.
Oz was more than enough.
He was my home now. He was my new normal. He was the reason I was going to figure out how to get out of this mess. The only running I was going to do after I brought Barton down was following Oz all over the world as he took the fashion industry by storm and proved to them he was so much more than a pretty face.
I nearly laughed when I realized those people had no idea what they were in for.
Yeah, I definitely wanted to go along for that ride when Oz kicked Laird to the curb for good and showed his true colors.
“What?” Oz asked.
I turned to see him looking at me.
I shook my head and said, “Just thinking.”
“About what
?” he asked with a little smile. No doubt because I’d been smiling.
God knew we could both use any reason to smile right about now.
Before I could answer, I heard the whir of an engine.
Multiple engines.
I didn’t need to look behind us to know what they were. “Run!” I yelled at Oz. “The trees!”
Oz knew better than to question me. He curled his arm across his chest, presumably to support Boo, who was tucked in his parka, and then he took off. I pulled my gun from my waistband and hurried after Oz, but as the engines grew louder, I knew we were fucked.
But they weren’t after Oz.
Which meant I had a chance.
Before we reached the trees, I grabbed Oz’s arm. “Look at me!” I demanded. Oz’s wild eyes swung from looking behind us to latch onto my face. I pointed at the trees. “You run in a straight line through these trees. It’s half a mile to the cabins. There’s a key for the one closest to the woods in the firewood box by the back door. Get inside and bar the door, then call for help. You run as fast as you can and you don’t look back, do you hear?”
“What? No! I’m not leaving—”
“If we don’t split up, we have no chance! No chance, do you understand? I can hold them off while you call for help,” I lied. While I hadn’t been able to get an exact count of the number of assailants at the cabin during the shootout, I knew there had to be at least three. I didn’t stand a chance with just one gun and the single bullet in its chamber. But I could buy Oz enough time to escape, and once they had me, they hopefully wouldn’t give two shits about Oz. Since they hadn’t identified themselves as DEA back at the cabin before opening fire, and hadn’t been wearing any kind of identifying clothing, I had to assume they weren’t actual agents, or if they were, they were corrupt ones like Barton. More than likely, they were just thugs he’d hired to do his dirty work for him.
I kissed Oz hard and held onto the back of his head. “Oz, please, go. If I have to worry about you, I won’t be able to focus.”
