Rafa went to bed about two a.m. Zani’s answers to his questions had been evasive and even aggressive, and Rafa had eventually lost the will to listen. He offered Zani a guest room, which his brother accepted. “We will talk more tomorrow,” Rafa warned him. Zani just smiled that infuriating smile of his and slunk off to bed.
Rafa asked himself why he felt so unsettled. He certainly knew it was because he didn’t trust Zani’s intentions. A job? Zani had never worked a day in his life, and Rafa would bet that he wasn’t about to start now. Zani wanted money, position. Rafa wondered what had happened in Europe.
He was just falling asleep when he heard someone knocking at his bedroom door. “Come in.”
His security guard stuck his head in, an apologetic look on his face. “I’m sorry to disturb you, sir, but I think you’d better come to the front door. Dr. Castor is here… and I don’t think she’s okay.”
Rafa was up in a flash, and as they both hurried back to the front of the house, he saw her. She was almost bent double with grief as he put his arms around her and carried her in.
For a moment, Noemi just stared at him. Rafa stroked her face and waited. Then, when she spoke, her voice was low, cracked, and full of disbelief. “He died, Rafa. Jack. He actually died.”
Chapter Thirteen
Slowly, Noemi told him what had happened. When Finn had opened the child’s chest, they’d tried to fix the hole in Jack’s heart. Although the surgery had progressed well, Jack had stroked out on the table. Finn fought to get him back, but Jack was too far gone.
A shell-shocked Finn had come to tell them that Jack was gone. Noemi would never forget her sister’s terrible howl of grief. Leonora had collapsed screaming, and Frank and Marian had tried to comfort her.
Noemi had darted from the room, running, running to the operating theater, her mind fixed on saving Jack, doing everything she could… There must be a way, there must be a way…
Ally, tears streaking down her face, had managed to stop her after Noemi burst into the room, seeing her nephew lying so still on the table, being cared for the theater staff. “Noemi… he’s gone, he’s gone…”
“No… no…”
Finn had followed her, knowing what she would do; between he and Lazlo, they managed to drag her away. When she finally returned to the Relative’s Room and her family, Leo had looked up at her with pleading eyes. Then when Noemi slowly shook her head, Leo in her bottomless sorrow, had screamed and slapped her sister hard. Frank locked his arms around his oldest daughter while Lazlo and Marian tended to a shocked Noemi.
Her retelling to Rafa finished, Noemi began shivering. Rafa drew her into his arms, kissing her temple. “I’m so sorry, baby.”
“How can it be? How can he be gone?” Noemi shook her head, not comprehending the horror of the last few hours. “From collapsing on a Tee Ball field to the morgue? I don’t understand.”
Rafa couldn’t think of anything to do to comfort her. Instead, he wrapped her in his arms, and they lay together on the couch for what seemed like hours.
“Leo doesn’t want me near her. She blames me.”
“That’s just the grief talking. You’re the person closest to her. She knows she can rail at you and that you’ll forgive her.”
Noemi buried her face in his neck. “Who did you rail at?”
Rafa was silent for a while and she drew away and studied his face. “Who?”
“No one. I couldn’t. I had Bepi to think of and Tomi’s parents. And it wasn’t the same. We knew. We had time. We prepared. When—”
He broke off and shook his head. “We were prepared.” He had almost said when you had your accident and the heart was destroyed, but that really wasn’t what Noemi needed to hear right now. He could see she was absolutely destroyed by Jack’s death. “Sweetheart, let me call your folks, let them know where you are.”
She shook her head. “No, I’ll text them and tell them I’m safe—with a friend.”
“Fine.” But inwardly he sighed—what did it matter now who knew about them? But Noemi clearly wasn’t thinking about anything but her nephew. Rafa persuaded her to go to bed, laying down beside her and holding her. He hadn’t expected her to sleep but finally just before dawn, exhausted, she closed her eyes.
Rafa’s heart pounded with sadness for her and for her family. He grabbed a couple of hours of sleep but then he got up to deal with Bepi.
Zani was already up, and Rafa found him in the kitchen, chatting to an excited Bepi. Rafa kissed his son’s head and nodded to his brother. “Good morning.”
“Morning, bro.” Zani grinned at him. “We didn’t want to wake you—or your guest.”
Rafa sighed. So, Zani had heard what went on last night. Bepi looked at his father questioningly.
“Nommy is here. Now listen, I have something to tell you, and it’s very sad.” He explained about Jack to Bepi who nodded, his expression sad. “It’s our job to make sure Nommy is okay, alright, sport?”
“Okay, Papa.”
Rafa looked at Zani, who was listening to them. “Noemi is a friend, a dear friend. She helped us when Thomasina was sick. Mouse is her dog.”
Zani’s smirk made Rafa want to punch the smile off his face. He’d obviously guessed that Noemi was more than just a ‘dear friend’.
Rafa gritted his teeth and made Bepi some breakfast while Zani made coffee.
“Hello.”
Rafa turned to see Noemi, her eyes wide and blinking, standing in the doorway. “Hey, lovely. Come on in. Noe, this is Zani, my brother.”
Noemi’s face registered surprise, and Zani laughed. “My reputation clearly precedes me. Yes, the prodigal son has returned.” He went to Noemi and took her hand. “My dear, I’m so sorry about your loss.”
“Thank you.” Noemi’s voice was strangled, and she looked between Rafa and Zani, unsure of what to say to the man. Bepi saved her. He hopped from his chair and went to her, hugging her legs. She picked him up, and he threw his tiny arms around her neck. “Nommy, I am sorry about Jack.” He kissed her cheek and squeezed her neck. Noemi’s eyes filled with tears, and she hugged the child tightly.
Rafa looked at Zani and nodded out of the room. Give us some privacy. To his relief, Zani nodded and politely excused himself.
“Bepi, come finish your breakfast while I make some coffee for Nommy.”
Noemi slotted Bepi back onto his chair. Rafa kissed her cheek. “You didn’t have to get up.”
“I think I should go to the hospital whether Leo wants me there or not. There might be an autopsy; there’ll certainly be an investigation. God, I can’t believe I’m even saying this out loud.”
Her shoulders slumped, and she turned her head, burying her face in his sweater so Bepi wouldn’t see her cry. Rafa held her as Bepi gazed at them, his green eyes scared. “Bepi, pal, go find your uncle, buddy.”
Bepi nodded and slid off his chair, disappearing out of the room. Noemi let out a sob and Rafa held her as she cried.
Finally, she drew away. “I’m sorry, you don’t need this.”
“Hey, hey, hey, stop that. We’re a partnership, Noe, we support each other.”
She nodded, wiping her face, and tried to smile. “I have to go.”
“At least let me drive you.”
Noemi shook her head. “No, I have my car. I’m sorry I dumped this on you—I just—I didn’t want to go home.”
He slid his hands onto her face and kissed her. “Why don’t you stay here for a few days? I don’t think you should be alone.”
Noemi hesitated. “Can I think about it?”
“Of course.”
She hugged Mouse. “Do you mind looking after her again? Just for a while?”
“More than happy to, sweetheart.” Rafa frowned. Noemi really did look unwell. “Darling, please, let me drive you to work.”
In the end, she relented, and he drove her into Seattle. At the hospital, he wanted to offer to come in with her, but he could already see she was ready to run and hide. He kissed
her goodbye. “Later. Call me and I’ll come pick you up, unless you’re with your family. Just… don’t shut me out.”
“I won’t. You’ve been incredible, Rafa, thank you.”
She got out of the car and Rafa had the strangest feeling that he wouldn’t see her again. No, don’t be paranoid. It’s just the heightened emotion.
The next moment, Noemi disproved his point by dashing back to the car, climbing in and kissing him. “I love you,” she whispered.
And then she was gone.
Chapter Fourteen
Noemi chickened out at first and went to hide in the changing rooms. Luckily, it was deserted, and she sank to one of the benches and put her head in her hands. What was she thinking, telling Rafa she loved him—even if it was true?
Now he would just think it was because she was so mired in grief that she couldn’t think straight, when Noemi knew with all her heart that she spoke the truth. She did love Rafael Genova—every inch of him.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
“Well, if you’re offering…”
She jumped, startled, and saw Kit Vaughan smiling at her. He sat down beside her and looped an arm around her, his smile fading, his eyes serious. “Hey, kiddo. I’m so sorry about your nephew.”
“Everyone knows?”
“Yeah. Word got around. Your sister is still here with your mom and dad. We all tried to get them to go home and get some sleep, but they wouldn’t leave Jack.”
“Are they taking care of him?”
“Of course, babe. Look, there will be an M&M, you know the drill, but Finn’s going to be handling it.”
“Are they doing an autopsy?”
Kit nodded, and Noemi groaned. “I know they need to, but God, Kit. He was just a kid. Six years old. Six.”
“Which is why we need to know how he stroked out on us.” He cleared his throat, and Noemi realized he had more to say.
“What?”
“Noe… Children’s Services got involved.”
Noemi was aghast. “Why?”
“They say that there may be a case for neglect.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Noemi was on her feet now. “Leo was the best fucking mother on the planet… how fucking dare they?” She was screaming now, her temper overwhelming her. “There were no symptoms until there were symptoms! If anyone was negligent, it’s that fucking medical center that sent him home… Jesus, if it hadn’t been for Leo…”
“Jack would still be dead.”
Noemi whirled around to see her sister, her eyes hooded and ringed with black circles, leaning on the door jamb. Leo looked at Kit, who nodded and slipped from the room, squeezing Leo’s shoulder on the way out. Leo looked at Noemi. “I’m sorry I hit you, Noe. I’m really sorry. None of this is your fault… I lost it.”
Noemi went to her sister, and they embraced. “You can hit me all you want, Leo, if it makes you feel better.”
Leo gave a half-laugh, half-sob. “I keep thinking I’ll wake up, and none of this will be true. That I’ll get up and Jack will already be in the kitchen, mixing his cereals up in that way that used to make me crazy and grinning at me. How is it that will never happen again? How is that possible?”
“I wish I knew, Leo. I can barely believe it myself. I see things like this all the time, and yet—the unfairness of it, the brutality, the shock of it. God.”
She hugged her sister tightly then let her go, both women wiping their tears away. “Are Mom and Dad still here?”
Leo shook her head. “I made them go home.” She sighed and rubbed her hand over her face. “I was worried about you, about where you’d gone.”
Noemi looked away. “I was with a friend.” She could feel Leo’s scrutiny and she sighed. “It’s Rafael Genova, okay? We’ve been seeing each other.”
Leonora’s face went still. “Oh.”
“Yeah. It’s still very new. Look, this is hardly the time to talk about my sex life, Leo. Come on, let’s go grab something to eat, and then you really need to lie down.”
To her relief, Leo let Noemi steer her to the cafeteria and make her eat some breakfast and drink coffee. Noemi found a room she could sleep in for a few hours.
“I don’t want Jack to be alone,” Leo fretted but Noemi reassured her.
“I’ll go be with him, Leo. I promise.”
In the morgue, the attendant gave her a sympathetic look and directed her to where Jack lay under a sheet. “I’m so sorry, Dr. Castor.”
Noemi found herself trembling as she lifted the sheet and looked at the too-still face of her beloved nephew. Memories came flooding back of family holidays, birthdays, Christmases… she had been with Leo in the delivery room when she gave birth to Jack.
Noemi had no tears left. The pain of his death was so overwhelming she wondered if any of them would ever be happy again. This morning, seeing Bepi, a knife had twisted in her gut, and she’d almost ran away out of the house.
But she hadn’t. She needed Rafa at that moment, more than ever and when she had told him that morning that she loved him, she had meant it with all her heart.
Noemi dragged a chair over to the gurney and sat down, holding Jack’s cold hand in hers. She didn’t know how long she sat there, but she started when a hand was placed on her shoulder. “Hey, Noemi.”
She looked up. Donald, the kind-faced pathologist was smiling down at her. “I’m so sorry, Noe, but it’s time. We have to take him down now.”
“Can I come with him?”
Donald looked uncomfortable. “No, sweetheart, you know that’s not permitted.”
“I promised his mom I wouldn’t let him be alone.”
“I’ll stay with him.” They both looked around to see Ally, her face blotchy from crying. She had known and loved Jack too. “I’ll go in with him, Noe.”
Noemi nodded, and they took Jack down to the autopsy room. She went back upstairs. She knew Lazlo wouldn’t allow her to work today, but she felt like she would go mad if she didn’t find anything to do. She checked in on Leo, still sleeping, and called her parents. They were still in shock.
“Sweetie, just look after Leo for us, would you? You know she doesn’t blame you; it was just the emotion.”
Noemi reassured her parents that she and Leo were fine. She went down to find some coffee, and as she sipped it, she saw Finn. He looked devastated, and she went to him. “It wasn’t your fault.”
Finn shook his head. “You can say that, but it won’t make any difference in how I feel.”
Noemi hugged him. “I know how that feels, Finn, I really do.”
The weight of the grief was overwhelming, and Noemi felt as if she were swimming in treacle with it. As she waited for the results of the autopsy, she went to see Lazlo. He didn’t seem surprised when she asked for some time off.
“Of course, Noe, that’s not a problem. But keep in touch, won’t you? I’ll worry.”
The results of the autopsy showed that Finn had done everything he could, but it was just damn bad luck that Jack stroked out. Leo took the news calmly. “So, there was really nothing anyone could have done.”
“Nothing.”
Leo tried to smile. “It doesn’t make me feel better.”
“What could? Come on, boo, let’s go to Mom and Dad’s. They’ll want to know.”
Leo rubbed her eyes. “I have to arrange the funeral home.”
Noemi bit her lip. “I’ve done it for you. I hope that was okay… it can be changed if you want. I just wanted to take that off your plate, to save you the details, but if I’ve overstepped—”
Leo shook her head. “No. Thank you, Noe.”
“We’ll go meet them in the morning. They’re going to take Jack soon. We’ll wait until he leaves then we’ll go home, yes?”
Their parents welcomed them with hugs but no words. There was nothing else to be said, after all. Noemi waited until her family went to bed before going outside into the cold night air. She sat on the front porch swing and called Rafa. “Hey, baby.”
“Hey, beautiful, how are you?”
“Sad. Listen… I didn’t mean to freak you out this morning.”
Rafa gave a low chuckle. “You didn’t. For what it’s worth, I feel the same way, but I don’t want to say the words over the phone.”
A small curl of warmth settled in her frozen body. “God, how did you get through this intact, Rafa? It’s unbearable.”
“I know, baby, and the answer is… I have no idea. One foot in front of the other, one breath after the last. The pain never leaves you—I won’t lie to you. But it… dims. Becomes such a part of the fabric of your soul that you learn to live with it.”
Noemi closed her eyes. “It’s like acid at the moment.”
“I know, babe. But it gets, if not better, then it gets… livable. Ugh, that sounds wrong, but it does.”
Noemi smiled down the phone. “You are the most wonderful man,” she said softly. “How’s Bepi?”
“He’s fine, excited because his feckless uncle is here.” She could hear the resentment in Rafa’s voice.
“Is he really that bad?”
“In the scheme of things, no. But that’s the right word: scheme. Zani’s blown his share of the trust fund, and now he wants money. He’s asking for a job.”
“And you don’t want to employ him?”
Rafa sighed. “If I don’t, he’ll go to Dad and leech from him until Dad’s broke. At least if I give Zani something to do, I can make sure he does it.”
“But?”
“I don’t trust him, Noe. There’s something going on with him I’m not getting. Ah, Jesus. I’m sick of talking about Zani. I miss you.”
Noemi chuckled. “Me too, baby. Listen, after the funeral, I’ll have more time for us. I’m taking some personal time.”
“Then if your family can spare you, maybe we could get away, just the two of us.”
“I’d like that.”
She said good night and sat outside for a while longer, trying to breathe in as much fresh air as she could. It had been a hellish few years, but this was the worse feeling yet. She had to trust in what Rafa was telling her—that it would become bearable if not healed. At the moment, she couldn’t see how.
The Doctor’s Promise Page 7
