by Nicola Haken
“Finally, I’d like to say if you ever try and judge me or my baby again, I promise I will shove your disrespectful opinions so far up your pompous arse you’ll be gagging on the taste of them for weeks.”
Holy shit. Even I wasn’t expecting that response. And judging by the sudden paleness of my dad’s face, I’m guessing he wasn’t either.
“I think we need to calm down,” Jess piped up. She’d been hiding in the background the whole time. I’d almost forgotten she was there.
“Calm down?” my dad blared. “So you think it’s acceptable for her to speak to me in that way? What a great role model she will be with such a filthy mouth. At least I can still be proud of you, Jessy.”
“Um, actually, Dad… Mum…” Here we go… time for the shit to well and truly hit the fan. “I’m pregnant too.”
My mum buried her face in her hands and my dad let out what can only be described as a growl.
“Oh, Jessica,” he breathed. “I thought better of you. How could you be so stupid?”
“Enough,” my mum barely whispered.
“Excuse me?” my dad chipped it.
“I said ENOUGH!” Holy shit I’d never seen my mum angry before. It was kinda scary. “I won’t have this turned into another feud. Whether the timing is right or not, we’ve just been told we have two grandbabies on the way, Al. Screaming and throwing insults around isn’t going to solve anything.”
“There’s nothing to be solved,” I interrupted.
“Of course there is. This animosity between you and your father needs to stop. We’ve got babies coming and I will not have them brought into anything less than a loving family.” Wow. Was my mum actually standing up to my dad for once? Instead of staying quiet, making excuses for him and telling me to lie low until he calms his arrogant arse down? My dad let out a frustrated huff, Rachel shrugged and Jess burst into tears. “Now, we’re all going to sit down and then we’re going to talk about this calmly as a family.”
“Sue,” my dad began to protest.
“Alistair, SIT!” she barked at him like a dog. Surrendering his palms in the air, seeming as stunned as the rest of us that my mum had found her voice after all these years, he lowered himself down onto ‘his’ armchair.
It felt like a courtroom. We all took our seats on the circle of furniture and my mum stood in front of the fireplace addressing the room – mediating. My dad tried to butt in a few times but recoiled back into his chair at the point of my mum’s finger. It was like watching some kind of cheap dominatrix porno at times. My dad, the submissive? Who’d have thought it huh? Great, now I’m thinking of my dad on his hands and knees with a chain around his neck.
Ugh.
I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.
Too far? Okay, I’ll shut my pie hole.
After a thirty minute lecture (you know the gentle kind only mothers can give – the ones that let you know their heart’s in the right place) the unbelievable happened. I swear, I’m still struggling to get my head around it. Upon my mum’s request, Jess pulled her scan photo out of her handbag and we all played pass the parcel with it until it landed in my dad’s reluctant hands.
Grudgingly, he swept his eyes across the blurry photo, and then when he went to look away something dragged his gaze right back. That was when it happened – the miracle. The impossible. Something never before witnessed by any human on earth.
A solitary tear glistened in the corner of his eye.
Yes, you heard right. Clearly, something softer than stone runs somewhere through his body.
This monumental piece of history was short-lived however, because almost immediately after, he cleared his throat and passed the photo back to the beginning of the chain. Jess took it, and her pleading puppy eyes, the eyes that screamed ‘please forgive me, Daddy’ were damp with tears as she smiled nervously up at him.
“Come here, Jessy,” he said in the gentlest voice I’ve ever heard him use, holding his arms out for her. Her smile widened and without hesitation, she jumped from the couch and onto his knee. “Guess I’m going to be a grandpa.”
“I love you, Dad,” she said eagerly, squeezing him into a tight hug. Then she got up and turned to our mum. “Love you, Mum. And I’m so sorry.” Mum pulled her into her chest and rubbed her back, before releasing her and holding her at arms length.
“There are worst things. We’re talking about a baby here. Two babies. Babies that we will love and cherish. Of course I wish you’d waited… maybe married first. But they’re here now, and we will love and support all of you through this,” Mum assured, glancing from Jess, to me and then to Rachel.
After a few more sniffles and soppy comments from the females in the room, I stood up to leave.
“We really need to get going now,” I announced.
“Are you sure you can’t stay for dinner?”
“Sorry, Mum. Maybe another time.”
“What about you, Jessy?”
“I can’t. I’m giving them a ride home. Jared’s, um…”
“The new car isn’t ready yet,” I lied before Jess landed me in the shit. I told my parents I had a new Beemer on order, paid for through the insurance. God, I miss that car. I loved that car. I miss the smell of leather, the feel of the wheel beneath my curled fingers, the purr of the engine…
It’s a guy thing. You wouldn’t understand.
“Well make sure you let us know how you get on at your doctor’s appointment. You really should move to my surgery. I could get Jan to see you?”
“It’s too far, Mum. We’ve talked about this. But you don’t need Rachel’s notes to spy on her.” Or me. “I promise we’ll keep you updated.” That worries me. My parents are both doctors – my dad a consultant and my mum a GP. I’m sure they could get access to my medical records if they tried. Which is why I plan to tell them whenever I get an official diagnosis. In the meantime, I just have to hope they wouldn’t stoop low enough to invade my confidentiality. I can’t see why they would, not unless they suspected anything. So, I’m good. I think. I hope.
I found myself standing a little straighter when my dad rose from his chair and made his way over to us to say goodbye. Even though things had ended up better than expected this afternoon, instinctively I mentally braced myself for one of his smartarse putdowns.
But, you know what he did? He held out his hand to shake.
“This will make a man of you, son,” he said, clamping my hand firmly in his as we shook. “Make me proud. Take care of your family.” Then, he tugged on my hand and pulled me into him, wrapping one arm around my back and patting me on the shoulder.
Wow.
I took a few seconds, deep breathing and stuttering like an imbecile, to regain my composure. I felt winded. It was a true father and son moment – like the ones you see in the movies… the ones I would’ve bet my life on this time yesterday would never occur between me and my dad.
“I plan to. Thank you, Dad.” Fuck me, I was nearly crying. I needed to get out of this parallel universe, and fast.
After releasing me, my dad turned to Rachel and offered his hand again. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous – not only of what my dad might say, but Rach too.
“You stand up for what you believe in. I admire that about you. Take care of my son and my grandchild.” Holy shit! Were we all gonna drop to our knees and pray together soon or what?
Rachel simply nodded, reservedly taking my dad’s hand and never letting go of the dubious look in her eye. I couldn’t blame her. My dad has been a prize arsehole my whole life. You don’t get to win over Rachel with a few nice words. You have to earn your trust and respect from her, and I can’t help wonder if my dad will ever achieve that after what he said earlier in the day.
After another round of hugs from my mum and some more tears from Jess, we all headed outside to Jess’ car.
Jesus. What a fucking day…
Chapter Eighteen
Rachel
Jared and I were all set to leav
e my flat and make our way to the doctor’s surgery when my phone rang. My heart panged, as it always did, when I picked it up, faintly hoping it might be Emily.
“Hey, Mum,” I answered when I saw her photo light up the screen.
“Hi, sweetheart. I just wanted to wish you luck at the doctors this morning.”
As planned, I called my mum on Saturday when we got back from Jared’s parents. She’s thrilled. Like off her tits kind of ecstatic. It was wonderful to hear her scream down the phone. Naturally, once she’d absorbed the shock the worries set in. She frets about how tough this pregnancy will be on my body, which is understandable. I know the concern she’s shown me all my life is because she loves me. My dad was a little more reserved about the situation, but happy nonetheless. After the morning spent with Jared’s parents, I feel so lucky to have been given the ones I have.
“Thanks, Mum. I’ll call you when I get back and let you know what they say.”
“You better. Are you nervous?”
“Shitting myself.”
“Oh, Rachel. What am I going to do with that mouth of yours?”
“Well you can’t wash my mouth out with soap. Might not be good for the baby,” I teased. “I have to go now or we’ll be late. I’ll call you soon.”
“Okay, sweetheart. Good luck and I love you.”
“Love you, too.”
“You ready?” Jared asked the second I hung up the call.
“As I’ll ever be.”
Let’s do this shit.
**********
“Miss Mason?” the receptionist called out to the waiting room. Why are receptionists always so snooty and self-important looking? “Room three please.” I nodded in response and went to grab my wheels but found I was already moving – Jared was pushing me. I’ve grown to love that. I feel proud to have such an amazing man on the end of my handles.
When we reached ‘Room 3’ I knocked gently on the door. Just seconds later the door swung open and Dr Pratt (I’m not even shitting you) motioned us into his room with his hand.
“Come through. Take a seat.” I let that one go… “So, what can I help you with today?” he asked, settling into his swivel chair.
“I’m, um, pregnant,” I practically whispered. I felt kind of embarrassed but I had no idea why. Maybe I expected him to see my age and judge me…
“Okay,” he said casually without a hint of judgement in his tone. I relaxed instantly. “And are you happy about it?”
“Yes,” Jared and I said in unison before smiling proudly at one another.
“I have to ask you understand.” I nodded. “When was your last period?”
“Oh. Um…” I squinted my eyes and started counting backwards in my head. “I’m not sure,” I admitted. “I’ve never been very regular. Sometimes I go a month, other times three. It varies.”
“That’s no problem. We can usually arrange a scan pretty quickly if there’s uncertainty with your dates.”
“How quickly?” I asked, slightly flustered. A scan… that makes it sound so… real.
“Probably tomorrow if they’re not fully booked. Maybe the day after.”
Well, fuck me till my face turns blue…
Tomorrow!
“I’ll give them a ring in a few minutes. How are you feeling in yourself? Any concerns? Sickness?”
“I did have some sickness, but it seems to have tailed off. Obviously I have some concerns regarding my disability, like… will anything go wrong because of it? Do I need to do things differently to other women?”
He scanned his computer screen for a moment – looking into my history I imagined.
“Incomplete spinal injury, correct?” he asked for confirmation. I nodded. “Well as I’m sure you’re aware, that poses no risk to the baby in regards to passing it down. As for your ability to carry, I see no reason why you can’t go on to have a healthy pregnancy. But your obstetrician will go through everything you need to know.
“You may be advised to have an epidural anaesthesia when labour begins because it’s probable you won’t be able to push efficiently, or feel and utilise the strength of the contractions. In which case, a c-section may be required. This way, with the epidural, you’ll already be prepped for such an eventuality, which minimises any last minute distress to you and the baby. But again, the hospital will guide you through all your options.”
Christ, this was all beginning to sound a little serious. This is really happening isn’t it? I’m really going to have a baby.
Wow.
“You don’t need to look so scared,” Dr Pratt went on to say. I swear I wanted to laugh in his face every time I looked at his nameplate. “You’re in good hands.”
Next he went on to ring whichever department at the hospital deals with ultrasound scans. He was passed around a couple of times and I chowed down on my fingernails, chipping away the purple polish while I waited. Sensing my nerves, Jared took hold of my free hand and squeezed gently. I looked at him and he smiled encouragingly, proudly.
“I love you,” he mouthed, making me feel giddy.
“Okay,” the doctor said, returning the phone handset to its dock. “Tomorrow at 1 PM.” Holy shit. Tomorrow. 1 PM. I will see my baby tomorrow. At 1 Pm. Shit. Tomorrow. “I have a leaflet here somewhere,” he added, rifling through his desk drawer. “Ah, here it is. This is a guide to the maternity unit. It has directions to all the departments. When you arrive tomorrow, follow the signs for the ultrasound department. Oh, and make sure your bladder is full. Try and drink a couple of pints of water before you arrive.”
Sounds fun.
“And here’s a sample bottle,” he went on, reaching into another drawer and passing me a little bottle with a white screw cap. “Lesson one, never turn up to see a midwife without a bottle,” he said with a teasing smile.
“Got it,” I said, nodding. “Thank you, doctor.” There was no way in hell I was adding ‘Pratt’ onto the end of that sentence. Not without bursting into hysterics and pissing my knickers anyway…
“Any questions?” he said, addressing both me and Jared, who had remained silent the whole time.
“So the fact she’s sat down all the time won’t affect the baby? Like… squash it or anything?”
Oh dear Lord…
Face. Palm. Ground. Swallow.
Why, Jared? WHY?
Seriously, why didn’t he ask me that question when we were alone? When there were no witnesses to his stupidity…
“Um, no,” the doctor answered, and I could tell by his strained lips he was trying to hold in his laughter. “I am quite sure that won’t be a problem.” I actually felt sorry for the guy. It can’t have been easy to keep a straight face. He was so professional but I imagined he would have a good laugh at Jared’s expense when he got home to his wife later in the day.
With no more from me, and thank God no more from Jared, our appointment was wrapped up and we left the surgery with my leaflet and wee bottle.
“Don’t ever embarrass me like that again!” I said, when we hit the outside air. “Sitting down squashing the baby? Seriously? I swear I wanted to die of embarrassment in there!”
“What? How the hell was I supposed to know?” he asked with genuine innocence. His confused expression was simply too adorable to be mad at him.
“The same way you know your stomach won’t explode if you accidently eat a blade of grass. Common sense,” I retorted, my voice crackling with laughter. “Tomorrow, you don’t speak unless I prompt you to. Got it?”
“You can’t be serious!”
“Say it, Jaz. Say you’ll keep your gob shut.”
“Fine,” he surrendered, pulling closed an imaginary zip across his lips. “No talking.”
“Good boy,” I mocked.
“You’ve got me right where you want me haven’t you?”
“Not exactly. We would probably get arrested if you were where I wanted you right now,” I whispered, straining my neck so he would hear me teasing him.
“Home. Now,
” he ordered, pushing me at speed towards the nearest taxi rank.
Hell yes. My day was about to get a hell of a lot more interesting.
**********
My flat was closest so that’s where we ended up. He’d undone the buttons on my shirt before he’d even kicked the door closed behind us. I wheeled backwards towards the bedroom, looking behind every few seconds to make sure I didn’t crash into anything. Jared strolled towards me with lustful intent and the sight of his muscles rippling with the movement of his arms as he lifted his shirt over his head made every nerve in my body buzz with need.
I drew my lip ring into my mouth as I admired the sight of him. Yummy. His bruises had faded to a light yellow, blanketing the rigid muscles across his chest.
“You’re so fucking sexy, saffy,” he moaned into the bare flesh of my stomach after dropping to his knees in front of me. A whimper escaped involuntarily from my throat and I felt him smile against my bellybutton before trailing soft licks all the way up to my bra. “This needs to come off.”
Jared smoothed his palms around my waist, laughing when he hit my tickly spot and I squealed, then he hooked his fingers into my bra and effortlessly unfastened the clasp. His mouth was waiting to catch one of my nipples the second my breasts sprung free and as his warm mouth sucked and teased, one hand began kneading the soft flesh around it.
“These are softer,” he whispered between licks. “And bigger.” He moved his head across and started paying the same attention to my other nipple. I eagerly arched myself towards him. “Pregnant boobs are my new favourite kind of boobs.”
“No, babe. My boobs are your favourite kind of boobs. At least they better be, ‘cause they’re the only ones you’re ever gonna get to suck on for the rest of your life.”
“And what a fantastic fucking life it’s going to be,” he agreed throatily, before licking a trail from the underside of my breast, up the centre and to my nipple and then flicking the tip repeatedly, making me want to scream. “Fancy a threesome?” he asked with a devilish smile.
