I shivered. “I think I do.”
“Please, morena, tell me I can kiss you.” His hand clasped around my nape. “I need to kiss you.”
Intoxicated, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him down to me. I kissed him. Without wasting one millisecond, Leo kissed me back. I felt him relaxing in my arms, as if he had finally won a fight and now could celebrate the victory. He moaned when I entangled my tongue with his. His hand on my neck slid up, his finger entwining in my hair, and his other hand slipped under my tank top and clutched my waist. He took control and changed the rhythm of the kiss, his soft lips slowing down against mine, but his tongue going deeper. It was erotic, and my body was on fire, screaming for his.
My hands traveled south, and, almost without realizing what I was doing, I clasped his butt. Holy crap, what a butt! He moaned again and, as if my hands had triggered it, he grounded his hips forward, brushing his hardness against my pelvis. I gasped against his lips.
Suddenly, he pulled back and rested his forehead on mine, without loosening his grip on me.
“You’re gonna kill me like that,” he whispered, sounding more breathless than before.
“I’m sorry.” I let my arms fall to my sides as shame invaded me. “Crap, now it’s all ruined.”
He reached for my hands. “What?”
“You and me, working together to help Argus. I made you agreed not to try anything, and now look at us.”
“I said I wouldn’t do anything unless you began it, and you did begin it.”
I buried my face in my palms. “Damn it, what have I done?”
Leo’s breath tickled over my ear. “You kissed me, and let me tell you, it was one hot kiss.”
I punched his shoulder in a teasing way and instantly felt bad about it. A playful punch still reminded me of Eric’s violence.
“I’m sorry,” I muttered.
Leo held my hands and tilted his head so I would look at him. “Stop apologizing. It was great, why apologize?”
“Because we said we would keep distant from each other, and now it’ll be even more awkward being around you when you come help me with Argus. If you come help me with Argus again.”
A minute passed, and I saw the change in his expressions. He dropped my hands. “I’ll keep my distance from you, if that’s what you want.”
I stared into his eyes, putting as much confidence in my words as I could. “That’s what I want,” I lied.
There was too much going on, and I couldn’t keep up. I would give anything to be free of Eric right now so Leo could take me wherever he wanted. But I wasn’t free. That thought made me sick to my stomach. I wasn’t free. As if slaves were still common things.
Leo looked to the side, to the darkness, his jaw tight. “Okay.”
I stepped to the side, and he opened the door of his car. He was about to say something when my cell phone rang again.
Sighing, I pulled it up and saw it was Eric. Again.
Leo frowned at me, one of his fingers stroking the black ring. “You should pick that up.”
He slipped inside his SUV and, without saying goodbye or waving or looking back, Leo drove away.
I stood in the same spot until I couldn’t see him anymore. Then I pressed the end button of my phone and raced into the house, eager to get me a glass of whiskey.
Chapter Twenty-Two
I should have expected it, but I was surprised when two days went by without seeing or hearing from Leo. When he left the ranch that night, he looked upset.
Putting on a pretty face when nothing in my life felt good was pretty challenging, but I had no choice other than to keep going. I worked on Argus, I ignored Eric’s calls, I visited my father at the hospital, and I did my chores at the ranch.
One thing was actually better though. Hilary and I talked about her designs now, and she told me her dreams about going to fashion school and working her butt off—which was definitely a good surprise.
Friday morning, I had just taken Argus to exercise in the arena when Jimmy approached me.
“Is everything all right?” he asked.
I looked at him as if he had gone gaga. “Of course.”
He took his hat off and ran his hand over his hair. “That ain’t the truth, 'cause you’re crankier than usual.”
I snorted. “What?”
He went on about being stressful, my father in the hospital, having to run the ranch, and thinking about the breeding farm, my noticeable problems with Eric, my feelings for Leo … I tuned him out, not in the mood to argue.
“You didn’t hear a word I said,” Jimmy complained.
I was about to tell him it wasn’t true, that I had listened to plenty of it, but preferred to tune the rest out before I was rude to him, when my cell phone rang.
An unexpected name flashed on the screen.
“Hey, Megan,” I said, walking along the arena’s fence, away from Jimmy.
“Hi. How are you? How’s your father?”
“He’s doing better. At least, that’s what the doctor tells us.”
“Good. I’m glad. I hope he can go home soon.”
Me too, however, at this point, we didn’t know if he would come home or not.
I bit my tongue, eager to ask her why she was calling, but not wanting to sound rude.
“I wanted to check on you,” she continued. “I kinda miss you at our teas. It’s odd not seeing you and your mother there.”
Stunned, I actually stopped walking. “Wow, Megan, thanks.” I cleared my throat and decided to be a little polite. “So, how are you?”
“Same thing,” she said, her chipper tone back on. “A little disappointed with Leonardo. After that kiss, he never got back to me. He doesn’t even look at me at the club and he dodges any of my attempts of talking to him. I don’t know what I did wrong.”
Crap. “Maybe you didn’t do anything wrong. Maybe you two just didn’t click. Or maybe he realized he’s into someone else. Or … maybe he has a girlfriend back in Brazil.”
“You know, I never stop to think about it.” She sounded as if I had just given her the formula for making money grow on trees. “He’s too gorgeous to be girlfriend-less. He must have a girl in Brazil, waiting for him.”
Did he? No … he would have told me the other day, wouldn’t he?
She told me a bit more about her latest shopping spree and her plan of spending one week in the Bahamas with her family’s yacht by the end of summer. She had been nice enough to call and ask if everything was okay with my father and me, the least I could do was actually pay attention to her and comment here and there, as a good friend would do.
Later that morning, I took Hilary and my mother to have lunch at a nice restaurant close to the hospital. Only God knew how much cafeteria food was in their system, and they needed something better to keep strong. It was a nice change, though my mother kept looking at her phone. If she was checking the time or expecting a call from the doctor, it didn’t make a difference. She was eager to go back to my father’s room, and that was nice, actually. I hadn’t seen her this dedicated and worried about him in years. Perhaps once he was well, their relationship would improve too.
I was back to the ranch by two. There was a new riding group starting, and I wanted to be there to meet them and tell them the rules myself. They seemed like a good bunch and listened carefully to all I said.
By five, Paul was done with his classes, and by six, Jimmy was finished with his chores. I was tired and disappointed and thought about going in, taking my boots off, putting my feet up, and drinking a nice glass of whiskey. But I couldn’t give up now. Eric would be back soon and … I don’t know. I just felt that if Argus was better, if he was stronger by the time my dear ex-boyfriend was back, I would be stronger too. And I needed all the strength—physical and emotional—I could get.
Argus was in his usual corner when I entered his stall.
“Hey, boy.” I sat down with my back against the closed door. Who cared if the ground was dirty? Not m
y shorts, for sure.
Argus’s ears perked up and he peeked at me for a moment, but then he went back to ignoring me.
“I wish you would let me touch you again,” I whispered.
“Me too.”
I shot up to my feet. Leo entered the stable, pulling Minuano by his side, his expression solemn.
Had he meant us or Argus? I wasn’t sure and I wouldn’t ask.
I tried to recover from the shock of seeing him here. “I thought you were mad at me or something.”
“Not mad,” he said, tying Minuano’s reins to a stall’s pillar. “Just frustrated, I guess.”
“Sorry.”
Leo walked up to Argus’s stall, but he kept his distance. “I know I said I would behave and I’m sorry I kept pushing you. I can’t help it.” He glanced to the floor for a second. “I told you before, Hannah, I’m not a good guy, but I’m trying to be, and when you pull and push like that, the lines blur and I lose control.”
“I don’t mean to push and pull.”
“I know. And that’s something that frustrates me too.” He took two steps forward, halting two inches from the door that separated us. “My motto is be true to yourself, and it’s hard for me to see you acting exactly the opposite of it. You want me, I know you do, and when things start getting interesting, you push me away. I accept your decisions, believe me, I do. But I’m not sure I can keep playing this game.”
As if a magnet pulled me, I leaned over the door to him. “What do you want from me?”
He brushed my hair back and placed the Douglas Iris around my ear, before cupping my cheek. I shivered with the contact of his warm skin. “You. Simple like that.”
That was still a mystery to me. He could have chosen any girl at the club, any girl from town. “Why me?”
He pulled his hand away and an instant chill settled over me. “They say we don’t choose who we fall in love with, and for the first time in my life, I’m ready to believe a popular saying.” He sighed. “But that’s not entirely true. I may have accepted helping you with Argus the first time because I was curious and physically attracted to you and I wanted to know more about you, but things and feelings increased too much, too fast. I’m more attracted to you than I have ever been to anyone, more than I thought could be possible. We’re good together, we work well together, and even our kisses are like explosives.”
My mouth fell open. What the heck was he saying? “Leo …”
“I apologize for taking two days to come here and tell you in person that I can’t do this anymore.” He retreated, his eyes still on mine. “I don’t want to be the other guy. I don’t want to sit and wait. I don’t want to be the second choice. Unfortunately, I feel like all of these things when I’m around you, so … I’m out.”
Faster than I could wrap my mind around what was happening, Leo untied Minuano’s reins, hopped over him, and galloped away.
Suddenly, more whiskey on the rocks seemed like an urgent need.
***
I did drink my whiskey on the rocks Friday night. And Saturday night. And Sunday night. By Monday morning, I felt like I lived in a cycle: happy buzz at night, dreadful hangover the next day.
In his own right, Jimmy was furious with me. He worked on his chores and didn’t speak to me all morning. He didn’t even glance in my direction. I knew that if I asked what his problem was, or if I huffed or put myself in his path, he would burst and he would say all the things bottled inside him. Things like, what was I thinking, drinking as if the world were ending? What about Argus? What have you done to send Leonardo away? And why was I still dating Eric?
He never liked Eric, and I was sure the only good thing about this discussion would be when I told him I was ready to end things with Eric.
But I avoided him, because I wanted to avoid an argument.
It was late morning when I called my mother and canceled our lunch plans. With my headache, there was no way I could drive to town and sit through a loud cafeteria. Instead, I went in the house and lay in my bed, with boots and all.
Next thing I knew, someone was holding my elbow and shaking me awake.
I opened my mouth to send Jimmy to hell, but when I rolled to my back and saw who was seated by my side, I yelped and scooted as far as I could.
“Hi, baby,” Eric said with a smile. “Aren’t you happy I’m back?”
Fear clawed through my insides and clutched my heart. “I didn’t know you were coming back today.”
“Well, you would have known if you answered my calls.” The smile was gone, and I recognized the new shine in his eyes. “What’s going on? Why didn’t you answer my calls? You didn’t behave?”
I slid out of the bed and stood beside the window—it was dark out. I must have slept for hours.
“Eric, we need to talk.”
“We sure do.” He stood. His appearance always amazed me. Nobody would ever guess this handsome and elegant man could hit a woman as easily as he could ride his horse. “Have you behaved, baby?”
I straightened my back, willing the shaking of my body to go away. It was now or never. “I’m not your possession, Eric. In fact, I’m not your anything.”
“No, baby. You’re my everything.”
“Eric, I don’t want this anymore.”
He narrowed his eyes. “I don’t think I heard you right.”
I took a deep breath. “We are over, Eric. Over. Please, leave my house.”
Rage flooded his features as he marched to me and pinned me to the wall, his fingers digging painfully on my shoulders.
He leaned into me, his face hovering close to mine. “Baby, you don’t have a choice. You’re mine and that’s the end of it.”
With my hands on his chest, I shoved him back. “I’m not yours! Listen to yourself, Eric. You sound crazy.”
I didn’t even see his fist coming.
With the force of his punch, I fell over the dresser, knocking my jewelry box down, and slipped on the floor, over the glass pieces of the broken jewelry box. Pain erupted from under my cheek and spread like scalding water through my face and down my neck.
He grabbed my elbows and hoisted me up with a jerk, making my brain rattle inside my head. He sniffed me, his nose in my hair, and I turned my face away.
“You. Don’t. Have. A. Choice,” he barked, his teeth gritted.
A sob raked through me. I opened my mouth to protest, but it hurt. Everything hurt.
He half-carried, half-dragged me down the stairs, to the rarely used dining table. I whimpered with each step, fighting back screams and tears.
The table was set with the best china, lit candlesticks, and Eric had brought food from a local restaurant.
“I wanted to have a good night to celebrate since I won the tournament in Switzerland,” he said, pushing me down into a chair. “And that’s what we’re going to do.” He sat down on the chair at the head of the table and began uncorking the wine.
Oh … God.
I felt like I was walking in a heavy fog, and each way I turned, I bumped headfirst into a concrete wall. My head throbbed, my neck stung, my shoulder screamed. I brushed my cheek, hoping my jaw wasn’t broken, and touched several pieces of glass that seemed encrusted in my skin. I pulled one out and yelped. Blood stained my fingers.
“You brought that upon yourself,” Eric said, serving wine to the flute set in front of me. “I don’t want to hurt you, but each time you misbehave, each time you oppose what I tell you to do, I’ll have to hurt you.”
Tears sprung to my eyes.
This was the worst nightmare I had ever had. And the longest. Because Eric, that wonderful man I fell in love with years ago, who was a great polo player, who was friends with everyone, couldn’t turn into this creepy, violent man.
He took my plate and served me a slice of steak and a portion of the side dishes. He set my plate back in front of me, served himself, and raised his wine glass to me.
“To my victory,” he said, smiling.
Shit. This was not a
nightmare.
A tear rolled down my cheek.
Reaching over the table, Eric shoved my fork in my hand. “Eat.” I wouldn’t, even if it got me killed. Ceremoniously, he cut his steak, put it in his mouth, and chewed it several times. When he swallowed it, he turned his evil eyes to me. “EAT!”
I flinched as his rage spilled over me.
Okay, enough was enough.
Drawing the rested of my courage and strength, I grabbed the table for support and lifted myself up.
I was able to limp two steps from the table before he was on me. His hand clasped around my throat, pressing the cuts and scratches, and he threw me over the table. My back slammed against the plates and glasses, and my head hit one of the pots. I screamed, trying to push him, to hit him, to kick him away.
He pushed my legs aside and leaned over me, his eyes in rage, his teeth bared, the muscles in his neck tense.
“Eric,” I breathed. He would strangle me if he didn’t ease his grip soon. “Please, stop this. Just … let me go. Please.”
“How many times do I have to say it?” His voice carried menace weaved in each syllable. “You’re mine. Forever.”
I didn’t want to use this card, and I wasn’t even sure I would really do it, but it was the only thing I had to say. “Let me go, or I’ll call the police.”
He threw his head back and laughed, releasing me. Relieved but shocked, I gasped for air and pushed myself up with my elbows. Still laughing, Eric took his phone from his pocket and thrust it into my chest.
“Go ahead. Call the police.” I grabbed the phone before it slid to the floor and stared at him. What game was he playing? His smile changed, and he looked like a borderline lunatic. “You can call the cops in Santa Barbara and tell them everything. They won’t believe a single word you say. They were good friends with my father, and they really like me. In fact, they worship me.”
My chest deflated. He could be bluffing, of course, but I believed him. I really believed him. Like everyone else, the cops were under his charms.
Eric approached me with deliberate steps. I recoiled, thinking about crawling over the table to the other side. But what good would that do? He would catch up with me, and throw me at something, hurting me more in the process.
Breaking the Reins Page 24
