“What do you mean?”
Ellie lets out a small chuckle and looks at Carrie and me like she is about to let us in on a little secret.
“Okay, ladies, I am going to share with you one of the top secrets every woman should know. You need to keep this on lock down; your men, even if they are your friends, they never hear this got it?” We both nod quickly and lean in like we are about to hear the secret to life. “Well, first off, let me ask you something Carrie—do you want Paul? As a life partner?”
Carrie has her bottom lip between her teeth. She is thinking hard on that question.
“I . . . I would yes.”
She is still sitting there biting on her lower lip like she is so nervous to hear what Ellie is going to say.
“Well then, make him yours, baby girl. First rule to being a woman: If you want it, then make it yours. I can tell by looking at Paul that he’s in love with you, doll. He looks at you with such love that he would give you the world. Before you interrupt me, to say ‘okay, well, if he loves me why isn't he making the move forward?’ That’s easy, because Paul is scared to risk your friendship. He thinks that if it doesn't work, you wouldn't be friends anymore. What he is not thinking of is you may find someone who will snatch you up, he isn't thinking this because you are always there for him. You are there to go to barbeques and dinner with. He calls you, and you answer each and every time, right?” Carrie nods and Ellie continues. “Well, baby girl, you have to stop. When you say you have plans, that boy will wise up. I don't care if you are sitting home painting your nails, and yes, ladies, we should always have nice painted nails this chipped polish stuff is unacceptable. He will see the future he wants with you. Believe me, girls, I did all of this with Mr. Martinelli.”
“You did?” I asked.
Ellie smiles and starts to pats my hands.
“Oh dear, of course. He was a real looker. All the women loved him, he was handsome and he wore that Marine uniform so well. I think he could hear every woman’s heart beating from her chest. But, you know what?”
In unison, Carrie and I both answered “What?”
“He never heard mine. Nope, even though that man had me melting where I stood, he never knew. I was the mystery, I was the only one not throwing myself at him and it worked. Thirty days after meeting him, I was married to the love of my life, kissing him and sending him off to war. It works every time, ladies, believe me.”
Ellie smiles and you could feel the love she had with her husband, you could feel it with each and every word she said.
“Hey, ladies! Oh man, it looks like they are having some major discussions—they all have tears in their eyes,” Allen yells to the pricks following in behind him.
I look up and see Paul immediately walking up behind Carrie and whispering in her ear asking if she is okay. Ellie is right, Paul is in love with her—you can see it all over his face. I look up and see Camaron is missing but Axel is standing with his waist against the sink and he mouths to me “Are you okay?” I smile up and nod and he winks, of course, I feel myself start to blush. I look and see Ellie's eyes are on me like a hawk, so I just look down.
“Well, I am heading out, you ready Paul, Carrie?” Allen is gathering all his left overs that Ellie put on the side for him. He walks over, bends down, and gives her a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you, Ma, dinner was fantastic!” Paul and Carrie do the same.
I look up and see Camaron coming into the kitchen alone.
“You ready to go, my anchor?”
Before I can say anything, Axel is walking towards me.
“No worries, Cam, I can take her home.”
“No, I got this, Axel, thank you. I would like to talk to MY Sam if YOU don't mind.”
Seriously, Camaron is being a douche right now and I don't understand why he keeps emphasizing his words.
“Well, you all could have talked when you brought her . . . oh, wait, you left her home.” Axel is letting him have it. I am so thankful that he is, because for just a moment I matter.
“FUCK YOU, AXEL!”
Camaron is steaming mad—things are getting heated. Then, I see is this little Ellie get up, stand on her chair, and smack Camaron across the face. One quick slap and I mean, wow the woman can smack hard, because all I heard was a loud CRACK!
“Stop this right now, Camaron Willis! You will not use that word in my home. Do you hear me, young man?” Camaron is staring at Axel, sending daggers to him with his eyes. In a louder more abrupt tone, Ellie asks him again, “DO YOU HEAR ME, CAMARON WILLIS?”
His eyes go directly to Ellie’s and they soften immediately.
“Yes, Ma'am, I’m sorry.” With that, she pats his cheek and he helps her down.
“Now, with that done, Camaron take Sam home, I still haven't gotten enough time with my boy. Axel, will you please join me?”
I stand up and walk over to Axel, wrap my arms around his neck, and give him a gigantic hug. I whisper to him, “Thank you, Axel.”
I feel his breath against my ear and honestly, I should not be enjoying this so much. “Anytime, Samantha, anytime.”
“Sam, let’s go, babe.”
I pull away and see Camaron giving a hug to Ellie and a nod towards Axel. Camaron has his left overs in hand and I grab my bag of dishes that I brought. We walk to the door and say are goodbyes to Ellie once again. Ellie pulls me down, wraps her arms around me, and kisses my cheeks. With both hands holding my face, she says “It was such a pleasure meeting you, baby girl. You make sure that you come by here and visit. We need to have more girl talks.”
I smile at her and agree, with one more hug, I walk to Camaron’s car.
“Wait, where is Roni?”
It really is sad I just noticed that the Barbie from hell is missing. Camaron in one of his snarky tones says, “She didn't feel comfortable here so her best friend, Katie, came and got her.”
With that, we quietly walk to the truck.
I watch Samantha head out with Camaron and I want to punch him. I head over to the patio and start tearing down the folding table that all the food was on and gathering the extra chairs to put them all back into the shed.
“Put those chairs down, boy, get over here, and talk with me. Come on, I have some cake here for you . . . come on.”
I put everything in the shed and lock it up tight. I walk back to the pair of the chairs sitting under the tree with a small end table between them.
“I hope you enjoyed the day, Ma.”
She smiles up at me as I am taking the seat next to her and hands me the plate of cake.
“Oh, silly boy, of course I did. Samantha, she is a cutie, huh?”
I take a small bite of the cake knowing where she is going with this. She thinks she is sneaky but no her cards are certainly showing right now.
“Yeah, she’s nice.”
I sit back in the chair, looking out at the house. It still gets to me to know that this house, this family, saved me. They helped me and for that, I’ll always be thankful. “You seem to be smitten by her. Tell me, Axel.”
I turn my head and look at Ma, she is determined; there is no way I can avoid this conversation. “Tell you what, Ma?”
“Tell me how you are feeling; tell me all about Sam.”
“I have never met anyone like her, Ma. Not ever. She is truly a beautiful soul. Not only is she physically beautiful, she has the kindest heart. I find myself wanting to protect her all of the time. When I am not with her, I want to be. Before she came to work at Pricks, I never, and I mean never, went into my office; I did everything at my station or the front desk. Now, I find myself walking to my office, any chance I get, just to get a look at her. Ugh, Ma, it’s killing me. She is in love with Camaron and he doesn't give a shit about her; well, not like that. I mean, damn, he forgot her today and she just forgives him with no consequences. I sound like a pussy don’t I?”
“AXEL!”
“Sorry, Ma, I mean, I sound like a joke.”
“No, absolutely not. You sound li
ke a man in love. Don’t you laugh and roll your eyes at me, young man. I know you, I can see it all across your face each and every time you look at her. What you have to understand is she is confused.”
“She’s confused? How do you see that?”
“Oh, honey, you have little faith in me. I lived a long life, baby boy, and one thing I know it’s what a woman looks like when she is in love. What she is confused about is each and every time she looks at you her eyes light up. She blushes and looks away hoping that you don't see her. Yet, when she looks at Camaron, she looks at him with one of comfort. Axel, she has been friends with him for years; hell, she probably hasn’t looked at anyone else. That is until . . . until you, honey. That right there is what has her so confused.”
“What do I do, Ma?”
“You give her time, you give her space. Let me tell you a little life secret, Axel, but you have to understand you can't share this secret with anyone. It has been passed down from one generation to the next and now I am passing it onto you, my son. Woman are a special kind of blessing. Our hearts are vulnerable and delicate. Sam needs to realize what she has in her life right now; right now, she has you as her friend and her best friend has her loyalty. Let me ask you what would happen if, on Thursday nights, you weren't there with her. You had plans with someone else. You know what would happen? Let me tell you want would happen. Sam would realize the special relationship that y’all have. She would miss that and come to you.”
“Ma, I am afraid she wouldn't.”
I can see how sad she looks at me as I doubt what she is saying. She is patting my hands with worry.
“She would, baby boy, she would.”
We sit there for a while longer and I listen to all of her updates. From the bingo tournament that she won, to the new Minister at church who loves to eat too many donuts at the church picnic. Ma is an endless amount of knowledge. She knows everything that is going on and loves to share it all with me. It’s getting late and we walk back inside to where she has a weeks’ worth of food packed for me.
“Ma, you didn't have to do this.” I point to all of the containers that she is now putting in a box.
“Nonsense, I want you to be eating a good meal every day, honey, do you understand me? You are getting too thin.”
“Thank you, Ma.” I grab her and give her a hug.
“Anytime, honey, anytime.”
I pick up the box and start to make my way to the driveway. I hear Ma yelling for me and look up and she is holding the chocolate cake. “Honey, don't forget the cake and make sure to share it with Sam. She says she didn't like it but she loved it. Now, come here and give me a smooch. Take care of yourself, dear, and remember give her some time and all will work out. Love you, Axel. Drive safe and wear your belt.”
“Love you too, Ma, and I always do.”
The ride home with Camaron was . . . awkward, to say the least. For the first ten minutes we sat there in complete silence. I don't think that in the years that we have been friends we have ever sat in silence, not like this. Finally, he starts the conversation.
“Sam, I'm sorry.”
“Really Camaron . . . you’re sorry. What exactly are you sorry for? Are you sorry that you deliberately left me at home today? That you didn't care enough to come back to OUR apartment and pick me up? Are you sorry that you asked me to move across the country so that WE could start living OUR dreams? Are you sorry that your girlfriend is evil to me and absolutely hates me and you sit back and let her treat me rudely?”
Before I could finish my little rant, Camaron cuts me off.
“YES, I am sorry that I didn't come back to pick you up. Roni wanted to have some time alone together and my plan was to take Roni to the barbeque and come back and pick you up. When she didn't feel comfortable, I had to stay; I couldn't leave her there alone if she was feeling uncomfortable, Sam. I care for her, she is my GIRLFRIEND—you are my best friend. You promised me that you would try and get along, did you not? Haven't you always told me that you wanted me to be happy? That all you ever wanted was to see me happy, right? Well, I am happy with Roni, Sam, I am but I need you to get along with her. She is insecure with our relationship, you know that. You know that you are my anchor, babe; I need you in my life and I need you to help me with this.” Camaron grabs my hand and kisses my knuckles. “Please, Sam, please do this for me, this will make me happy.” I want to punch him.
Honestly, he is throwing my words back into my face like that. Yes, I want him to be happy—but with ME, I just never included that last part.
We walk into the apartment and I get started on putting away the dishes I took to Ellie’s. We aren't even home a few minutes and Roni comes waltzing through our door. “Be nice, Sam, be nice,” I chant in my head, hoping that I can pull it off. They are lying on the couch as I come out of the kitchen, there is no way I am going to want to sit here watching television as they are mauling one another, so to my room I head. I am sitting here staring at my computer and the cursor blinking on the blank screen. I have nothing, no creative juices are flowing. The longer I sit there the more depressed I am getting, I reach an all-time low when I hear moans coming from the living room.
Are you fucking serious? He is fucking her on my couch?
“OH Camaron! Yes, right there. Lick me right there! YES! YES! YES!”
I hear something fall and then giggling. Oh please, get me the hell out of here. I know the bitch is doing this on purpose—what can I say, she won. My heart is breaking. I try to turn up Pandora, but I can still hear them. My Beats are out in the living room so I am up the creek without a paddle.
“You like this, Camaron? Do you like me riding your huge, hard cock? Yeah, grab my tits, baby. YES! Who is your anchor now, Camaron? WHO IS YOUR ANCHOR NOW? SAY IT . . . YES . . . SAY IT!”
“RONI, YOU ARE MY ANCHOR, BABY, YOU ARE!”
I am gutted, I am completely and utterly broken. I don't know what to do. I want to leave. I feel like I am suffocating, sitting here in my room. I grab my phone and my coat and head out. I keep my head down so I don't see them but there is no way I am going to sit in my room and continue to hide. I walk out into the living room and they are sitting up now. I don't look at them, I can’t show my face. Tears are still falling and I am not going to show her that she broke me.
I grab the handle and open the door and start to descend down the stairs. Where I am going? Hell if I know, but I am not staying here. I make it half way down the stairs when I hear him calling my name.
“Sam! Sam hold up. Samantha, will you fucking stop!”
I spin around with fury in my eyes and in my heart.
“WHAT!” He jerks back at my tone and I look up at him and he has tears in his eyes.
“I am so sorry, Sam. I am so fucking sorry. You should not have heard any of that.”
I laugh a sarcastic laugh and continue down the stairs.
“Yeah, that was just wonderful. I especially loved when you called her your anchor, Camaron. That was just lovely, thanks for that.”
“I'm sorry, Sam.”
I shake my head and something catches my eye. I look down and there is Camaron standing in front of me. Wearing a faded pair of jeans and nothing else. He is shirtless and that is when I see it. I let out a groan and place my hand over his anchor. The anchor that had my name tattooed across it, but now it’s just a solid color. My name has been filled in.
“Wow!”
I start to shake my head and my hands are shaking as well. He filled in the tattoo, he erased me. Camaron grabs my hand and pulls me closer to him. He puts his mouth to my ear and whispers over and over, “I am so sorry, Sam. I love you, you’re my best friend and I am so sorry.”
I bring my right hand up and push him away. He stumbles backward and just looks at me.
“You know what, Camaron, I have been there for you. I have been your best friend and this is how you treat me? That is what you do to me? You fill me in? Well, fuck that! I have done everything you have ever needed. I gave
up my dreams and plans so that I can come here and help you with your dreams. I have moved across the country, away from my family and friends, to be with YOU. I know, you’re going to say, ‘but you wanted me to be happy.’ Yes, I did say that, but I never included the ending. I wanted you to be happy with ME! Camaron, I could make you happy, but ya know what? Gabby was right. Maybe you are that prick that is so superficial I would never be good enough for you. I took a lot, Camaron, I took the cruel words and the evil looks that your little evil Barbie upstairs gave but you, you Camaron, just broke my soul. I hope you are happy with yourself.”
Camaron looks like I just punched him in the gut. He doesn't know what to say. He starts to say something about Roni and I lose it.
“Oh and you know what, Camaron, Roni could go FUCK A DUCK! She may be a skinny beauty but her soul is ugly and I think you deserve each other.”
With that, I turn, walk out the door, and start down the road. I am so pissed I don't even know where I am going. I find myself sitting on a stool at Kester's thanking the Lord above that none of the pricks are here. I just need some alone time, just me and a bottle of Jack. I am five shots in and completely numb. I look at my hands and I can't feel them. I start laughing and see that everyone at the bar is looking at me. Even Turner, or is it Travis, the bartender, who I now know is married and has three children, has cut me off and is staring at me like I am a pathetic girl. I am about to fall off the stool from laughing so hard when I feel a pair of strong hands grab a hold of me. The hands are strong and warm and are around my waist. The man helps me back onto the stool and I look up to see it’s Axel.
I just got in from Ma's and I was about to message Samantha to come over to have some chocolate cake, when my phone goes off. I look down and see its Travis from Kester's calling. Damn, someone is drunk—that’s the only time that Travis calls me.
“Hey, Axel, just wanted to give you a heads up, Sam is here and she is blasted. She keeps saying Camaron could fuck ducks; I thought I would call you rather than him.”
Guided Love (Prick #1) Page 14
