“Will do.”
“I KNEW IT!”
Carrie yells it at the highest pitch possible. I look over my shoulder and she is smiling from ear to ear. I smile at her, shake my head, and enter my station to start the first of four, before I can leave.
It’s another rough day and I finally finish, I clean everything up and head to my car. I want to head over to Ma's to make sure she is doing okay. I tried to call, just to check on her, but she isn't answering.
I pull into the driveway and head on up to the house. The door is locked; I grab my key and unlock it. Something is off and I can sense it.
“Ma, you here?”
“Axel? Is that you, son?”
She walks down the stairs with two large bags in her arms.
“Help me here, Axel, I am a little old lady carrying two large bags, son.”
I go help her with the bags and she heads into the living room. I put the bags down and start to open one when I am swatted away.
“What is all this stuff?”
“Oh, this is just some old junk that I am going through. There is so much that needs to be done I thought I would clean out some of the closets and make sure all is organized. This is a nice surprise. What brings you by? You do know Samantha isn't here, right?”
Laughing again, what is with all of these people?
“Yeah, Ma, I know Samantha isn't here. I came to check on you. I tried calling, but you never answered any of my calls.”
“You called? Huh, I didn't hear the phone ring.”
“I called your cell, Ma. I left a few messages and you never called me back.”
“My cell?”
I look at her, she looks seriously confused.
“Ma, you okay?”
“Oh yes, Axel, I am sorry I didn’t get the messages. Would you like me to make you some dinner? Have you eaten?”
“No, I’m good, Ma. I’m meeting the guys for some wings later."
I sit with her for a little over an hour and help her go through the bags that she brought down. They had old pictures and an old jewelry box that her mother given her when she was a child. I watch as she just takes it in. I don’t know what to do as I really have never seen Ma this vulnerable before, well, only once, and that was when pop passed but never before or after that. I take out the trash for her and make sure everything is locked up and she is off to bed before I leave. I am backing out of the driveway when I get a message from Paul saying all of them are at Kester's. I steer my baby towards the bar to grab a bite to eat.
The last six months have been insane. Looking back, when I left Pennsylvania, I never would have thought that I could actually do this. I was out to find myself, I had the lessons Ellie instilled and I was determined to write what my heart was feeling. I became a hermit, rarely doing anything. All I would do was sit in front of my computer and type. Anchored Love was created and three months after self-publishing, I am sitting in front of my computer shaking and sobbing. I was awoken to my assistant—yes, I actually had an assistant—Jessica, screaming to wake up and look at my email. I open up my account and see an email with an attachment of The New York Times Best Sellers List and listed at #5 was Anchored Love by Samantha Jacobs. I am sobbing and screaming and obviously, I woke Gabby up because I can hear her behind me.
“Holy shit! That’s great news, I am so proud of you!”
Gabby is jumping up and down as we stare at my name on the New York Times Best Sellers list. I sit in front of my computer in complete shock, my hands shake and I am weeping. I actually did it, I published my book and I made The New York Times. My phone rings and I try to say hello, but I am complete mess.
“OMG, Rice Cake!” Carrie is squealing in the phone. “You did it! We are so proud of you. I have it cut out already and we’ll be hanging that up.”
I am sobbing and laughing and can’t really catch my breath. I love the fact that, even though I left six months ago, I have not lost touch with any of the pricks. I talk to Carrie at least once or twice a week and Allen, Paul and Jay at least once a month via messenger or text.
Axel was a complete surprise as I talk to him at least two to three times a day. He and I actually became closer since I moved. We talk about everything. Through this entire journey, he was my biggest cheerleader. When I would be down and irritable Axel, he has a way to pull me out of it. He still is the sweetest man I know as he has not only been there for me, but is also trying to help Camaron get his shit together.
Camaron and I, we finally talked and are friends. Are we friends like we once were? No, absolutely not. My blinders have been removed and I see Camaron for who he really is; right now, he is lost. He can't seem to get his life straight. One day he will be the Camaron I knew, my best friend, and then he gets back together with Roni and he changes again. When he is with Roni, I don't hear from him; he shuts everyone out and becomes a major asshole to everyone around him.
I am pulled out of all of my thoughts when I hear all of the pricks yelling and clapping. I can't help the smile that spreads across my face, they truly are a family and I am so proud that I am still a part of that.
“Thanks so much, guys, I am so freaking excited! Who would have thought that people would like my heartbreak?”
I am laughing and crying and I can’t seem to stop.
“Well, RC, you have pure talent! That book was freaking hot!” Carrie chimes in.
“Thanks so much, Care Bear.”
“No problem, I’ll call soon I have to head off since this place is hopping and the pricks are being impatient.”
I picture her rolling her eyes at all the clients waiting and I just let out a big laugh.
“Okay, chica, I’ll talk to you soon. Thanks again.”
We hang up and I feel my phone vibrate. I have ten messages, all from family and friends sending congratulations. I send them all a thank you, get up, and grab a coffee. I am looking around for something to eat when I hear a knock on the door. I make my way to the door in my flannel duck pajamas and my hair in a messy bun on top of my head. I open the door to a delivery man standing there with a gigantic vase of pink and yellow roses.
“Delivery for Samantha Jacobs.”
“That’s me.”
I sign and take the vase and set them on the kitchen counter. I look, find the card, open it, and become a complete and utter mess again.
Samantha,
Congrats, Babe! I am so happy that you made the list. I knew you would, never had one doubt in my mind that you were anything but amazing. I hope you have a great day and stop a minute and enjoy this! You can check off another one of your buckets! Just know that I think you are awesome!
xoxo
Axel
“Wow, those are gorgeous! Who sent them?”
I turn and see Gabby all ready for the gym and I realize that I am behind. I smile and take a swig of my coffee and grab an apple.
“They are, aren't they? They’re from Axel.”
Of course, once I say who they’re from, I get the smile and the oooh's; she still thinks that there is something more between us. She seriously can't understand that we’re friends. Don't get me wrong, the man is freaking awesome and I would die for a chance for him to look at me that way, but I know better. Camaron, no matter how horrible he was, did me a favor and taught me to pop the fantasy bubble that I live in. I need to just be happy with what is. I am really trying to be happy with who I am now. I have really been trying to find me, not only by writing but also keeping the bucket list that Ellie and Axel told me to create. I look at Gabby, as she now is grabbing our water bottles and smelling the flowers.
“Give me a few minutes and I’ll be ready, okay.”
“Yuppers, chica, go get moving, we got calories to burn. Chop chop.”
I run down the hall to my room and change into my gym wear. The second week I moved back Gabby and I went and joined a gym. I use to wear big bulky sweatshirts and jogging pants to the gym, but after working my ass off, and my double chin, I can actually say
I feel confident now to wear my gym wear. I grab my hair, put it up into a nice ponytail, and head into the bathroom to get situated. I put my sneakers on, grab my phone, and head down the hallway to Gabby.
The gym we joined is four blocks away, so we usually walk there. I grab my phone, pull up my favorites, and see Axels picture and hit send. It only rings twice before I hear his sexy voice on the other end. Yes, I mean sexy. His deep voice can melt anyone’s panties, even lesbians. Believe me, my friend, Theresa, is a lesbian and I had Axel on speaker phone once, while she was there, and when she heard him say goodnight, she looked at me with complete seriousness and said, “That man could talk himself into my panties and I would enjoy every minute.” I couldn't help but laugh and call him back and share that little piece of info with him. He was speechless and then he laughed so loud I had to pull the phone away from my ear. After hanging up the phone, I received a picture of Axel with his shirt off, in a pair of black boxer briefs, holding a sign that read: I'm ready, let’s talk :)
That picture left me drooling and without words. I would sit and pull that pic up every day because, honestly, I have never seen a more perfect man. He has such a perfect body, he is a piece of art. I eventually made that his profile pic so whenever I talk to him or get a message I see it and I feel less creepy for staring at it.
“You have to be shitting me. I am talking to Best Selling Author, Samantha Jacobs!”
Laughing at how he picked up the phone, I roll my eyes. “Good afternoon, Mr. Davis.”
I can just picture him as I hear him laughing at himself.
“Good morning, Samantha! Congrats, gorgeous, Carrie has already cut it out and has it hanging up out front. Ma wanted me to tell you congratulations.”
“Thanks, I’ll call her once I am out of the gym. I wanted to call and thank you for the beautiful flowers, you shouldn't have but I am so happy you did.”
“I’m glad you like them. How is everything else going? I know you are now a New York Times Best Seller but how is the new book coming along?”
“Things are going well. I’m waiting to hear back from Jessica. I may be heading east for an Indie author event, I’ll let you know if I get in. If I do, I would love to see you guys.”
“Absolutely, let us know when and where and we’ll all come. Hate to do this to you, babe, I have an appointment and need to go.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, yeah go have a great day. Thanks again for the flowers.”
“Every time you hit the best sellers list, babe, you’ll get flowers from me, alright. Now go have a blast at the gym and call me later, alright.”
“Yep, talk soon. Bye”
“Bye, babe.”
I close my phone and get hit in the shoulder by Gabby.
“Bye, babe . . . he calls you babe, Sam. I really think you are crazy—that man is freaking awesome and you are just blind to it.”
“Whatever, Gabs, he is awesome, that is undeniable, but we’re friends—just friends, I’m not going to get in that bubble.”
“What bubble?”
I let out a growl, stop, and look at her. “That bubble where I fall in love with my friend. I fall in love with my sexy as hell friend and then I am left heartbroken when I open up and tell him that I think he is amazing and I want him and then he looks at me and I stand there and watch as he is disgusted. I can't do that, Gabs, not again. I just need to love the fact that he is my friend, I need to just be happy with that and not want anything more.”
I can tell she is sad and angry with what I said and I can see that she is trying to figure out what to say to me, but I brace myself because, again, Gabby won’t hold anything back.
“Okay, first of all, Sam, Axel is NOT Camaron. You need to realize that no guy out there is Camaron. I get what he did was fucked up but you do not disgust anyone. Do you hear me? You are a beautiful woman. You are and if you weren’t, you know for sure I would tell you that you were an ugly ass. You are freaking awesome and Axel, no matter how hot and successful he is, he would be blessed to have you in his life. I know I have never met him, but just talking to him and hearing about him from you, I think he knows that he would be blessed to have you in his life too. Ugh, Camaron really fucked you up. You know that, right, Sam? It really pisses me off.”
“Relax, Gabs, I'm just saying.”
“No, you aren't ‘just saying.’ What you said is shit. Sorry, but it’s true. I get it, you and him are friends, that’s fine. But what I want you to know, and believe, is that Axel Davis may and could want more with you. Don't you shake your head, it’s true! I get it, you live in California and he lives across the country but that is the only thing that should stand in your way. Not some illusion that you are not good enough for anyone or that you will disgust them. You are beautiful and you are the most determined person I know.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes, seriously. You were determined to write a book and you did. You were determined to get healthier and you have. We go to the gym every day, Sam. You have gone from a size 14 to an eight in six months and you look incredible. Whatever you set your mind to, chica, you accomplish. That fact alone makes you an awesome person. It’s just the cherry on top that you have outstanding taste in friends.” She winks at me and brushes her shoulder.
Gabby is seriously hysterical.
“Alrighty, Gabs, I get you. Yes, I do have great taste in friends— Carrie is the best.”
“Hey!”
“Kidding, chica, you are the best. Now, let’s go and kick the bag and let go of some of this pent up anger you seem to have.”
With that, we walk in the gym and hit the kickboxing bags.
An hour later, I am spread out on my bed completely exhausted. No matter how many months I have been taking kick boxing, it always kicks my ass. I debate if I should just lie here or if I should get up and function. After serious thought, I get my ass up and head to the shower. After a long enjoyable shower, I grab my phone and call Ellie.
“Good afternoon, baby girl.”
“Hi, Ellie, how are you feeling today?”
“Things are well here, honey. Congratulations on your book making the list. I told everyone today in the walking group, we are so proud of you. Jimmy was bragging that he finally met someone famous.”
“Oh boy, that is too funny. You have to let him know I am not famous.”
“Sam, you certainly are, darling.”
I don't argue because I have learned that Ellie Martinelli is always right. I sit and listen to her go on about all that has happened this week with the walking group and how she is getting her house organized one closet at a time. She has the upstairs done, she said, and is almost finished with the first floor.
“Wish I were there helping you.”
“Oh listen to you, sweet girl. You don't worry about things here, you go and get your name out there, and you live that dream. I guess you completed another bucket right, my child?”
“Yes, ma'am, I did. I am just about to check that one off and add another.”
“Well, you get to that, sweetie. I’m going to start to get dinner ready, I’m having a few friends over to celebrate for you.”
“Aw, thanks Ellie. I’ll talk to you soon, okay.”
“Yes, dear, take care. Talk with you again soon. Be good”
She hangs up and I head to my desk and open my drawer. It’s right on top, my bucket list. I grab my pen and go down my buckets, I have crossed quite a few off, as well as added a few more. For every one I check off I add a new one. This has become a never-ending list, but it allows me not to lose focus on me.
I look at the checked boxes: Get a tattoo; yep, check. Get healthier, check. Publish a book, check. Make the New York Times Best Seller list—I take my pen and I check that bucket off. Today, I am on cloud nine; I look down and see the other buckets that are still not completed.
*Do something wild and crazy with your appearance
*Go skydiving with Axel over the Grand Canyon
*Buy a pair of Louibi
tans
*Dance with a cowboy
*Create something amazing
I sit there and try to figure out what I can add now that I checked off making the New York Times best seller list. I am so proud as I check that box that I am once again crying. I bite my lip and try to figure what I can add. I write one that I know that I probably will never be able to check off.
*Find someone who will love me for who I am and accept his love
Damn, I would have a freaking appointment when Samantha calls, I felt bad that I had to cut her short but I’ll just call later tonight. I am so proud of her making the list. Seriously, her book was great. Of course, I read it and I had to just keep telling myself that it was a work of fiction; but there were parts that I just had to skip all together. I knew she based Anchored Love on her and Camaron’s friendship and the inevitable destruction of her heart, but, in the book, you are really rooting for a man named Anthony aka Tony. He is the good guy, the one that hopefully Samantha, or Sally as the heroine is called, chooses. I am hoping that she is basing this Tony on me. I’ll find out. Every time I ask her, she avoids the question and just laughs at me and the subject is changed. One day, I will get that answer.
The shop is packed. We have been doing well with the business plan that Samantha left with all the promotional aspects that she came up with. We are now opening a second shop in Cherry Hill, New Jersey. The plan is for Jay, who is now a permanent artist here, to run that location since he has a business degree too and we’ll take turns covering until we can hire a permanent artist staff as well as have certain days that we cover monthly to bring in more business. Damn, Samantha has no idea the level of help she provided while she was here. Seriously, the woman is amazing at everything she does and doesn’t even know it.
“Why the hell is Carrie so freaking excited out there? Did you give her a raise?”
My back is to the door and I turn to see Camaron standing in the doorway, along with the bitch of all bitches, Roni, by his side. Well, that explains why, for the last week, he has been hit or miss. He always becomes a dickhead when she is back in his life and I honestly don't understand the pull. She truly is the nastiest girl I have ever met. Sure, if you look at her she is cute, I guess. Small and thin and she has nice ink, but when she opens her mouth, it ruins everything. I shake my head with disgust and see that Camaron catches it when he rolls his eyes at me.
Guided Love (Prick #1) Page 23
