I know I shouldn't let his words get to me, but they do. I walk back into the house, sit down next to Ellie, and watch I Love Lucy.
“You know he loves you.”
I look over and Ellie is looking at me. I grab her hand and scoot closer, I really am so happy that she is with me right now.
“Ellie, you know that Camaron doesn't love me like that.”
“Oh no, my dear, I am not talking about Camaron. That boy he only loves himself right now. When he does fall in love, it will be magical.”
“Who are you talking about then?”
She starts to pat my hand and looks right into my eyes. “Axel, of course. My boy has loved you from the day he picked you up from the airport. The good thing is he loves with his soul, baby girl, and he will love you forever. I am so glad you came home.”
She looks down and pats my hand a few times and turns back to watch Lucy.
I just sit there, stunned, and reply, “I am too, Ellie.”
Dementia is a wicked, horrible disease to watch your loved one have and suffer through. You watch them struggle with everything around them. I have watched Ma go from an active, quick-witted woman, to weak and scared. I wish she would have told me about the diagnosis but she wanted to live her life with no worries and if she told me, she knows I would have worried. I was worried once they told me, but when I saw Samantha standing on the porch step, looking like the angel, all of the tightness in my chest and the worry I had disappeared. She looked at me and told me that we were going to get through this and I know we will because she is the second strongest woman I know.
When Samantha left to go back to California, things between us changed. We actually have become better friends, I would say. I talk to her every morning and every night, and, if I am being honest, she is always on my mind. I planned to talk to her about all that I want from this friendship, but then Ma had her episode and life changed. I still feel those small moments, the moments that I have her in my arms, and I just want to kiss her, consume her, but then reality comes back to life and we pull apart.
I walk into the house and see Ma and Samantha sitting on the couch, looking at photo albums. The moment Samantha hears the door, her eyes are up and looking at me. With a silent nod and a sweet smile, I know that Ma is here right now. I smile and make my way to the couch.
“Oh, my dear boy, I was just showing Sam, here, some of your childhood pictures. Do you remember when you wanted to be a cowboy and you wore those damn boots and hat all the time, even to bed? That was a fun time. And, here, when you wanted to be in the circus and you dressed up like a clown every day in the summer? He would go to each house, blow up balloons, and just hand them out. He didn't know how to do animals so each balloon he gave was always a snake.”
Samantha looks up at me and she is smiling with tears in her eyes.
“Ellie and I have been sitting here, for the past half hour, looking at all of her old photos.”
“Wow,” I say with a smile.
It gives me some hope that maybe, just maybe, I can have her back even if for a little while. I walk over, move a few photo albums from the other side of Ma, and have a seat. We look at a few albums of me and we look at Ma's wedding album. She knows everyone in each picture and tells Samantha and me about that day. I feel Samantha start to get up.
“I am going to head upstairs for a little. I’ll let you two enjoy one another. Call me if you need me,” she says with a wink at me and I smile.
When I turn back to the album, I see Ma smiling at me. I am so afraid that she is lost again, but she is still with me.
“You love her, my boy. You have finally found your north star. She is your home, Axel.”
“You’re my home, Ma.”
She starts to pat my hand like she always does. “My sweet boy, I will always be your home but when I go you need to have your someone. The one that will love you through everything. I want you to be happy, my son. No tears. You need to love and laugh and dance around the kitchen and have lots of babies. You need to start living your life, okay, Axel?”
“I am living my life, Ma, I am.”
“No, son, you are just getting by. Sure, you are successful, but not having anyone to share that success with, that just leaves you lonely. I need you to promise me something. I need you to promise me that you will share your life. That you will tell her how you feel. Don't be scared, son. Life is too short to have fear.”
She is looking at me with that point blank stare, waiting for me to give her my word, I give her my promise.
“I am not sure that she cares for me, Ma.”
“My boy, Samantha loves you. She knows she loves you, but she is afraid that you don't feel the same way. You just need to love her, Axel, and she will love you back.”
I wrap my arms around her and she actually hugs me back. We sit and watch I Love Lucy until she falls asleep. I carry her up to her room—she has lost so much weight, she feels like a feather. Samantha sees me and helps with getting her situated in bed. I walk out and Samantha closes the door behind her.
“It was great that you had her back for a while.”
“Yeah, it really was.”
She starts to bite her lip and look down, her tell when she gets nervous.
“Well, I am going to head back into my room, I have a few more chapters to write so I can send it off to Jessica.”
I nod and she turns and heads to her room. I go downstairs, lock everything up tight, and lie on the couch. I grab my phone and, like always, I send Samantha a message. I know I just saw her upstairs, but Ma's words are on my mind. If there is a chance for me and Samantha, I am not going to let that slide.
Me: So… are you ever going to admit that Tony is me?
Samantha: lol nope
Me: Really?
Samantha: Lol Why do you think you’re Tony? I could have based him off of Allen.
Me: Allen really? Tony is not Allen, it’s definitely me.
Samantha: Oh really?
Me: Yep, Tony is charming, a bad ass and the one that wins Sally’s heart.
Samantha: I still can't believe you read my book. I also can't believe that I am texting you when you are right down stairs lol
She has a point. So, quietly, I head upstairs to her room. With her door open and her back to me as she is sitting at my old desk, I clear my throat and she turns and looks at me. Damn, what a sight. She has her dark brown hair up in a messy ponytail and the hot pink Two Pricks shirt that I gave her when she left. She smiles and starts to laugh at the sight of me.
“You’re right, no sense of texting when I can come up and talk with you.”
I walk in, close the door behind me, and walk towards the desk.
“So, are you going to admit it?”
She is biting her bottom lip and my dick starts to stir.
“You really want to know who Tony is based on? Go to the dedication.”
She motions to her computer. I move towards her and the computer and I am now standing behind her. I reach over her shoulder, click the pages, and hit one. I scroll down until I see her dedication page and it reads:
I dedicate this story to the one man who seems to have always been there for me. No matter what, he was my protector and he made me feel like I truly mattered. Everyone deserves a Tony in their life. I was lucky enough to find him; but to me, he will always be Axel.
Axel, you were right, you were Tony all along. :)
I turn my head and smirk up at her. She is blushing and biting her lip and I can't stand it anymore. Our faces are mere inches away—I close that distance. I tilt her head up and take her mouth. I kiss her softly at first and test to see if she will respond. She does, and I give a little more—I am so hard right now that I can't control it. I lift her up off the chair and push her up against the wall. I have both of my hands holding her neck and I deepen the kiss. I swipe my tongue across her lips and they open automatically. Fuck, she tastes so good.
My hands start to roam up and down her sides and I fe
el all of her curves. My hand finds the hem of her shirt and it goes underneath it, heading towards her perky tits. I swipe my thumb across her hard nipple and she lets out a moan in my mouth. I have both hands now working her breasts, before they travel south. I brush my hands down her sides and around so I can grab that luscious ass. I give her a hard squeeze and once again, she is moaning. Her hands start to roam up and down my chest and it’s pure electricity. I break the kiss and look down at her flushed face and swollen lips. She is panting and looking at me with confusion.
“Baby, I have wanted to do that for so fucking long.”
She smiles at me and bites that damn lip again. “Me too.”
“We need to slow it down or I am not going to be able to control myself.”
“Oh, okay.”
She looks down, like I just said something that killed her dog. I immediately tilt her chin up so she is looking in my eyes.
“If we don't stop, baby, I am going to fuck you right here against the wall.”
“Yeah, okay Axel, I get it.”
She is trying to lower her shirt and pull away from me. This shit is not going to fly. I bring her eyes back to me and take her mouth. I am sucking on her tongue and then biting her lower lip. I push up against her, leaving no space between us. I grab her hand and place it over my cock that is begging to free from my pants. I break away and look down into her sexy as fuck eyes.
“I want you so fucking bad, do you feel this? You do this to me, baby. With just one look at you, I get hard.”
She smiles up at me and it takes my breath away.
“When I fuck you, baby, you will be mine. I need to know that you want that, because there is no way in hell I am going to share you or give you up. You will be mine and only mine.” I take her mouth once more and kiss down her neck and up to her other ear. “I want you to be all mine.” I suck on her earlobe and then give it a bite. I see that her eyes are closed. I give her a quick kiss and start to head to the door.
“Goodnight, baby”
With that, I head to the shower, I am going to need a cold fucking shower to get rid of my throbbing cock.
I want you to be all mine. I am standing against the wall replaying what just happened. Axel just said he wanted me to be all his. I seriously can't believe it. I can't believe that Axel Davis, the sexiest man I have ever seen, wants me. Really? I don't know what do. I hear the shower turn on and I run to my phone and call Gabby.
“Hey, Chica, how goes it?”
In a whisper, “Gabs, oh my God, Gabs.”
I can hear her panic, thinking that something has happened.
“What? Sam is everything okay?”
Then I hear Allen in the background, asking what was going on.
Still whispering, I start to explain. “Yes, everything is fine, I just need some advice.”
Gabby is now telling Allen that everything is fine and that I just need some advice and I am left hanging on the phone wondering what the hell I am going to do and why the hell is Allen with Gabs.
“Gabby! Seriously, I need you to tell me what to do.”
“Okay sorry, Sam, what’s up?”
I tell her everything that happened very quickly because I don't want to get caught if Axel decides to come back into my room. Oh, please I hope he comes back into my room.
“Are you shitting me? Did I not tell you that Axel wanted you? What the hell are you on the phone with me for?”
“I don't know what to do? Gabs, what if . . . ”
She cuts me off immediately. “Sam, he is NOT Camaron, we have been over this. If Axel says he wants you, the man fucking wants you. You know what you should do! Not only is your body telling you that he is everything that you have ever wanted, but so is your heart, chica. Just listen to it, trust it.”
I’m smiling when I hear Allen in the background yelling, “Whoo hoo! Rice Cake is finally gonna fuck Axel! That is a long time fucking coming.” I can hear Gabby trying to hush him.
“Hey, Gabs, why is Allen there?”
There is a long moment of silence and then she giggles, actually freaking giggles. “Oh, well, you know what to do now, go on and claim your man, babe.”
“Gabby? Spill it!”
“Have fun, babe!” she says right before she hangs up.
She is avoiding this conversation and that’s okay, I’ll get it out of her, but she’s right, I need to go and get my man. I walk over to the mirror and look at myself. Ugh, there is no hope to taming this hot mess, but if I don't go now, I’ll chicken out.
I open the door and still hear the shower running. I walk down to the room that Axel is sleeping in, open the door, and decide that I should lie on the bed. I took off my pajama bottoms in my room so all I have on is my hot pink Two Pricks shirt and a pair of black lace panties. I pull down the covers and lie in the middle of the bed.
A few moments later, I hear him walking down the hall and the door opens. He stops and is staring at me lying on the bed. Honest to God, I become wet just looking at him. He is standing there with a white towel hanging low on his hips. His body is perfect. He has the biggest arms, the broadest chest, and a six pack of abs. I My eyes roam up and down his body that is still wet from the shower and I want to lick each and every drop of water.
He tilts his head to the side and gives me that sexy smirk.
“You look good on my bed.”
I start to bite my bottom lip out of habit, I always do when I am nervous.
“Baby, you can't keep biting that lip and expect me to stand here in nothing but a towel and behave myself.”
I get up on my knees and with as much confidence that I can muster, I look at him and respond.
“Maybe I don't want you to behave.”
“Really now? Babe, just twenty minutes ago, I told you I am not going to fuck you unless you’re mine. I don't share, babe. I don't want your body without your heart. If your heart belongs to someone else, then this is where it stops. If your heart is open then, baby, you better brace yourself because it soon will belong to me.”
He walks toward the bed and that damn towel is falling lower and lower. I suck in a breath and send a thank you up above. He kneels on the bed and is now mere inches away from me, I can feel his breath on my lips as I start speak.
“Axel . . . ”
“Is it open Samantha?”
“No.”
His eyes search mine and he starts to back up, I grab his hand and finish what I was saying. “No, it’s not open because six months ago, I gave it to you. I am so scared right now, Axel. I am so afraid that I am going to let my wall down and be broken again.”
He grabs my neck and smashes his lips to mine. It’s hard and passionate and I drag my fingers across his back. He pulls away, looks at me, and doesn't let go of my neck. “There is no reason to be afraid, baby. If you let your walls down and really give me your heart, I won't break it. That is a fucking promise.”
I pull him closer and kiss him hard. The passion that we have is incredible, he swipes his tongue across my lips and I open to finally taste him. Our tongues are battling. He has all the control. He lowers me to the pillows, his body is above mine. He looks at me and kisses my lips again and moves to my neck. I have goose bumps with each kiss he places. His mouth is on my chest and his hand is moving up and down my leg. I have my hands in his hair and I can't help but whimper with each swipe of his tongue and lips on me. He starts to pull my shirt up. I hesitate. He feels the small hesitation and he looks up with a look of confusion.
“What's wrong, baby?”
“Um, would it be okay if we shut off the lights?”
His brows furrow and he is completely confused and I feel like a fool asking.
“Why?” he asks.
I honestly didn't think he would question me, with his face only inches away from mine and his hand still slightly below my breast, he is waiting for an answer.
“I just think that things will go smoothly if we shut off the lights.”
“Things wil
l go smoothly?”
“Well, I . . .” I turn my eyes away because I don't want him to see me this weak.
“Samantha, look at me.”
I turn my head and look him straight in the eyes.
“Samantha, you are fucking gorgeous. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on.”
He straddles my hips and lifts my shirt above my head. I am laying there completely bare to him. He looks down at me, lowers his lips to my breast, kisses it, and moves to the next.
“Your breasts are fucking perfect.”
He is sucking on my nipples. I grab his head and he looks up and shakes his head at me.
“No, baby. I want you to hold onto the headboard, no touching. Not this time. This time I want to kiss every inch of your body. You will feel the want that I have for you and you will feel how fucking beautiful you are.” He keeps speaking after each kiss. “You,” kiss “are,” kiss “so,” kiss “beautiful,” kiss—he kisses his way down my stomach and his mouth lingers above the top of my panties when he looks up with his sexy smirk.
“Look at me, beautiful. I think you are the most gorgeous woman in the world.” I smile at him and that sexy smirk is still on his face.
“I am going to taste this beautiful pussy that I have wanted to devour for the last year. While I do, I want you to watch me. Do you hear me? Eyes on me, beautiful.”
I nod and he starts to pull down my black panties and removes them from my legs. He grabs my left leg and kisses and licks it all the way up to the crease of my leg. He goes back to my right foot and kisses my foot and continues up my leg again until he kisses the crease of my leg. He now positions himself between them and puts both of my legs over his shoulders.
“Damn, Samantha, you are fucking beautiful.” With that he lowers his head and licks my pussy. One swipe and he looks up and smiles at me. “You taste so fucking good, baby.”
Guided Love (Prick #1) Page 26
