Emotion squeezed Steed’s throat. He knew the answer to that question. With a regretful shake of his head, he placed his gun in the holster and slammed his foot as hard as he could into Fritz’s side. The man slumped to the floor, groaning in agony. Steed watched him, wanting to get pleasure in the man’s pain, but none came. He didn’t feel pleasure or even guilt. He felt defeated and angry, bitter and scorned, much like the hot tears sliding down his face.
Without a word, Steed backed out of the cell, locked the door, and left the holding area.
“Steed. Steed!” Darci called after him. “What was that?”
Steed continued walking. He hadn’t been able to look at Darci for fear of the disappointment he’d see in her eyes, and the vulnerability he knew she’d see in his. He kept walking, clearing the final step up.
“Damn it, Steed, stop!”
The urgency in her tone as she called out to him made it clear he couldn’t continue the avoidance. He stopped and turned around. Burning tears streamed down his cheeks.
“Steed.” Darci hobbled up the last step and dropped a crutch when she reached him. She wiped away his tears. “What’s wrong?” She dropped the other crutch and brought him into her arms. “Please, tell me what’s going on with you?”
“Fritz.” Steed lowered his head to Darci’s shoulder and settled into her embrace. He held her closer, tighter, needing her presence, her love to protect him from the raging anger and anguished pain threatening to permeate his every pore and make him a man he didn’t want to be. “That bastard killed my father.”
* * *
Darci attempted to make it into Steed’s house without injuring her good ankle from the obstacle course strewn clothing made on his floor. “You go to the couch and sit, and I’ll put on some coffee,” she said, trying not to fall flat on her face.
“No,” Steed said, kicking the clothes to the side to make a clear path for her. “You sit, and I’ll make the coffee. I need to think about something besides…besides what I’m thinking.”
“We got here in one piece, that’s got to say something about your powers of concentration.”
“That’s because I was carrying precious cargo.” He took her crutches and helped her down on the couch. “You sit here, I’ll be right back.”
Darci looked around. Empty takeout boxes and dirty clothes covered every corner. Steed wasn’t renowned for his housekeeping skills, but she’d never seen him live so much like a squatter. Now he had to deal with what Fritz had done to his father and Pete’s betrayal, and she couldn’t even make him a cup of coffee.
Steed returned a couple of minutes later. “It should be ready in a few minutes,” he said, joining her on the couch. “I was surprised to see you.”
“I wanted to see you. Kenny drove me over.” Darci ignored the strained look on his face at the mention of Kenny’s name. “If I hadn’t come over, would you have called me?”
“I was going to, but I didn’t want to push.”
“If I hadn’t shown up when I did, you would have…”
“I think I would have killed Fritz. I really wanted to. I still want to.” Steed’s eyes glistened with tears. “For so many years, I’ve missed my father, while hating the man who took him from me, and being angry with Dad for being in the position to be taken. Now, I find out my father got shot down like a rabid dog by a boy he never knew but was trying to help, and an innocent man died alone in a prison.” Steed shook his head, as if trying to erase the truth from his mind. “I always knew there was something about Fritz.” His hand balled into a tight fist. “He almost killed you. He killed my father. I can’t let this go.”
Darci covered his hand. His body trembled, and his fist relaxed. “You have to let it go, Steed. Holding onto anger is not good for you.”
His hand squeezed around hers. “But you are.”
“And you are for me.”
Companionable silence filled several moments. Things weren’t perfect between them, but Darci had renewed hope they could be better.
“Why did you come to the station? How did you get down to holding?” Steed asked, breaking the easy quiet.
“Very slowly is how I got to holding.” She chuckled. “The officer told me you were down there. Knowing Fritz was the one who ran into me, I thought I should see if everything was okay. So, when the officer went for coffee, I made my way down.”
“That was quite a navigation to see if things were okay.”
“I was worried about you.”
“Why? It was because of my ways you walked away from me.”
“I didn’t walk away, I stepped back.”
“You were angry with me.”
“Yes, I was. When I think about it, I still am. Jackie and Kenny think I’m being too hard on you.”
“Warwick?”
“He said I shouldn’t fault you for doing your job. You couldn’t allow my suspicions and your feelings for me to cloud your working mind.” Her hands closed around his face. “Steed, you have to do the same thing for yourself. It’s not your job to exact punishment on Fritz. He’s in jail. The system will deal with him now.”
“The system is corrupt. I did everything right with Warwick’s case and it was wrong, because of a corrupt system. My father’s killer has been free for almost twenty-five years, because of a corrupt system. His partner, a man I thought of as an uncle, made it happen. I always had questions about my dad’s death, but I didn’t fight like you did with Warwick. No, I fell victim to the system and internalized my doubts.”
“It’s okay, Steed.”
“No, it’s not. Dad’s instincts were right about that couple. He didn’t know Fritz, but he knew his parents were good people, and they were. Their one fault was having too much love for a son who didn’t deserve it. Fritz doesn’t deserve anything, but this corrupt system gave him everything.”
“It’s not the system that’s corrupt, Steed. It’s just a few bad people. There are lots of good guys. You, Chief Rogers, Malena, and Jackson. You make it work.”
“Not anymore I don’t.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m done!” Steed pulled off his shield and threw it against the wall with a force that frightened her. The badge remained embedded in the wall as dust and debris from the cracked sheet rock showered to the floor.
“Done?” Darci glanced from the damaged wall to Steed.
“No more following the rules. No more doing everything right. I want you to do your story, Darci. Expose the corruption in law enforcement like you said you would. The world needs to know. And while you’re doing that, I’m going to take the time you said you needed.”
“And do what?” The intensity in his blue eyes scared her. She saw anger. Not anger directed at her, but anger all the same. It was this unfamiliar, silent, brooding anger that scared her more than anything. “Steed?”
“Don’t ask, Darci.” He kissed her softly and returned to the kitchen.
CHAPTER 24
“I don’t know why I listened to you.”
Kenny grabbed Darci’s hand and pulled her down to the couch beside him. She continued to squirm. “Darci, would you sit still!” he demanded. “You’ve been off those crutches for one day, and you’ve been doing all you can to work a trench in your living room floor. I know your foot is better, but you need to…”
“Be with Steed.” She stopped moving. “That is what I need, Kenny. It’s been three weeks.”
“The man said he needed time. Besides, you talk to him.”
“Two two-minute phone calls every week is not talking to him.” She sighed. Every time she spoke to him, she missed him even more. She tried to talk him out of leaving, but hours after learning about Fritz, Steed took off to parts unknown. “You didn’t see him. You don’t know the pain he’s in, and the anger he’s feeling.”
“Oh, I know pain and anger, Darci. I was locked up by my sister and her demented boyfriend for two months. I can school anyone on those emotions. But I can also say that time works wo
nders.” Kenny smiled, stroking his clean-shaven face and pressing his healed lips together. “Just look at me.”
Darci chuckled. Kenny was definitely his old self again. “Point taken,” she said.
“Honestly, I can’t imagine what Steed’s feeling to learn Fritz killed his father. His upset is warranted, and he needs to deal with what he’s dealing with.”
“Yes, he does, but he doesn’t need to do it alone. I think I know where he is, and that’s comforting, but I also know he’s upset. And it’s what the upset is doing to him and what it could lead him to do that’s driving me crazy. I should be with him, just like he was with me during my coma.” She resumed her pacing. Steed’s emotions were running high when he tossed his badge, but Darci knew he didn’t mean that, so she talked to Chief Rogers, explained what happened, and got Steed approved for open-ended time off. He didn’t seem upset when she told him, but he didn’t tell her where he was or when he’d be back, either. “I should have never let him leave,” she said.
“How were you going to keep him here with your bad foot?”
She gave him a pointed look. “There are ways to keep a man around.”
“But not for women like you, Darci. You wouldn’t lower your standards like that.”
“I wouldn’t be. I love Steed, and I’m so afraid for him.”
“And sleeping with him is supposed to make you less afraid? Make him calm down?” Kenny’s face scrunched up as it always did when he thought deeply. “Okay, it will calm him down for a little while, but until when? The next crisis comes up?”
“Weren’t you the one telling me to forgive him? What’s with this change in attitude?”
“It’s not changed. I’m just concerned about you.”
“You’re concerned about me, and I’m concerned about Steed. I can’t help it, Kenny. He’s in so much pain, and I don’t know what he’s going to do.”
The phone rang. Darci’s heart lurched. She raced to the corner table and jammed the phone to her ear, praying she would hear Steed’s voice on the other end. “Hello.”
“Is this Darci Clarke?”
The Southern and very feminine voice definitely didn’t belong to Steed. “Yes, it is,” she answered.
“Wonderful. I’m Jean Reynolds.”
“Jean Rey…” Nana! “You’re Steed’s grandmother.”
“I am.”
“Is Steed with you?”
“Yes.”
Darci sighed in relief. “I thought so. How is he?”
“A lot like he was when I first met him all those years ago—angry and lost. He’s only calm when he talks about you.”
Darci smiled, grateful to know Steed was with people who loved him, and pleased he’d mentioned her. “He talks about me?”
“Quite often. Truth be told, you’re the only girl he’s ever talked about. And that’s why I called. Can you come down to Fort Worth?”
She wanted to scream “Yes!” But if Steed wanted her to be with him, he would have asked himself. She’d already gotten a world of comfort knowing he wasn’t alone. “I can’t, Mrs. Reynolds. Steed wants time to think about things, and—”
“Steed’s not thinking, he’s brooding. I know he loves you, and he’s too proud to tell you he needs you, but I’m not. He’s so anxious, and I’m afraid he’s going to do something foolish. He told us about Pete and that Fritz fellow. You can save him from himself. Please, come.”
Hearing Steed’s grandmother express the same worries she had about him made the decision for Darci. “I’ll come.”
“Lovely. I took the liberty of checking flights, and there’s one leaving Crider Airport at two o’clock today. I reserved a ticket for you, and there’ll be a car for you at the airport in Fort Worth.”
“You were pretty sure I was going to come, huh?”
Jean laughed. “Just hopeful. I’ll see you soon.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Sighing, Darci held the phone to her chest for a moment and then returned it to the table.
“Where are you going?” Kenny asked.
“Texas,” she answered with a smile. “I’m going to Steed.”
* * *
“Who were you talking to, Nana?”
“Steed?” Jean placed the phone on the charger and approached with a brighter than usual smile. “Just a friend,” she answered. “Did you enjoy your ride?”
“I did.” Steed entered the den, watching Jean curiously. She was up to something. “I would have enjoyed it more if you had come along. Did you take care of your business?” he asked.
“I just finished up.”
“Everything okay?”
“It’s fine. You were telling me about your ride.”
Steed grinned. Whatever she was up to, she wasn’t going to share. “The ride was good. It gave me time to think about some things.” He moved to the couch and patted the empty space beside him. “Join me.”
Jean came over and sat. “Something on your mind?”
“Yeah, actually. It’s time I headed out.”
“Oh, no.” Jean’s head shook vehemently. “I disagree.”
“I knew you would say that, which is why I’m not asking if you think I should go. I’ve been here a lot longer than I ever expected, and I have things to do.”
“And people to get away from?”
“Come on now, things have been okay with Josh and me,” he said, noting the change for the better in his relationship with his stepfather.
“I’m not talking about my son. Claudia called while you were out riding.”
Steed groaned. “Again?” Claudia, a recently divorced old high school girlfriend, had been a thorn in his side from the moment he’d run into her in town two weeks before. Despite the numerous times he had told her he wasn’t available, she wouldn’t take no for an answer. “If you’re involved, why isn’t she here with you?” Claudia constantly said. Why, indeed?
“I guess I don’t have to ask what she wanted,” Steed said.
Green eyes brightened with humor. “You can’t blame her for being smitten.” Jean pinched his cheeks. “You’re so handsome.”
“And so not interested. I have a lot on my mind. And when I’m not thinking of those other things, I’m only thinking of Darci. She’s the only woman I want.”
“Have you told Darci this?”
“I guess.” He shrugged, feeling a bit sorry for himself. “She’s been preoccupied with her best friend.”
“Did she say she was preoccupied?”
“She’s not here.”
“Did you ask her to come?”
“I couldn’t do that.” But he wanted to. Loving Darci scared him, but needing her scared him even more.
“Then how can you grumble about her not being here?”
Steed sighed. He hated when his grandmother stated the obvious. “Nana,” he practically whined.
“Don’t Nana me. You men are so…”
“Stubborn?”
“That works.”
“I apologize for me and my species alike, but it doesn’t matter. I’m leaving.”
“You’re going back to South Carolina?”
“Not yet. There’s something—there’s something I have to take care of first.”
A shadow of worry darkened Jean’s strong patrician features. Even in a flannel shirt and jeans, his nana was always the picture of class and elegance. She had taught him many things. Most importantly, the outside is not the measure of a person, but what they have within and allow to shine out. Steed didn’t like the idea of her worrying about him, but he couldn’t lie to her, either.
“I’m going to New York,” he said.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“I do.” He kissed a rosy cheek and stood. “I’m going to grab some lunch, take a shower, pack, and then visit Brett and Lori before heading off to the airport.”
“You can’t do that!”
Her abrupt reaction got Steed’s wheels to turning again. Jean was definitely up to something. “Why not
?”
“It’s just that…I really want you to stay a little longer. I can’t talk you out of this trip, can I?”
Steed had wrestled with this decision for weeks, and was sure of what he had to do. He had to see Pete’s face and listen to him as he tried to explain how he could take a payoff that left a murderer at large. “No, ma’am,” he answered.
“May I ask a favor?”
“You can ask anything of me, Nana.”
“Stay the night. I won’t try to talk you out of going to New York, but maybe if you sleep on this decision one more night, you might change your mind on your own.”
“I’m not going to change my mind.”
“So, you should have no problem with staying. I want to spend more time with you. If you want to visit your brother and sister and say your good-byes now, that’s fine, but I expect you back in time to have dinner with your old grandmother.”
“You will never be old, Nana. And, for you, I’ll stay until morning. But I’m leaving first thing.”
“That’s all I ask.”
“You want to go out for dinner?”
“No, actually, I feel like cooking. I think I’ll give George the night off and spend some quality time in my own kitchen for a change. I can rustle us up something rib-sticking to take the edge off these cold days and nights.”
“Your chili?” Steed asked, his stomach rumbling in anticipation of Nana’s divine dish. George, the family cook since forever, was a great chef, but Nana’s chili was extra special.
“Why not? Chili, cornbread, and maybe bake a lemon pie.”
Steed rubbed his stomach. “That’s reason to stay.”
“Josh and Beth have that fund-raiser, so it’ll just be us.”
“I couldn’t think of a better date to share this evening.”
“Somehow, I think you could.” She shooed him off. “You go on and shower and then do your visiting. I’ll see you later.”
Steed crossed his arms. “You tryin’ to get rid of me? I know you’re up to something. Is a man coming over?” he teased. “I think I saw old man Jessup giving you the eye the other day.”
“Jessup is cross-eyed. It looks like he’s giving everyone the eye.”
Steed laughed. That man could give a headache to anyone who looked at him too long.
Not Quite Right (Indigo Love Spectrum) Page 21
