by L. Divine
As we walk up Alondra toward Long Beach Boulevard, I can barely keep up with Mama. She called before we left to make sure they keep the doors open till closing time, but the banks are always busy during the holidays anyway and I’m willing to bet there are still people in line. When we hit the front door, I can see I should’ve bet twenty dollars. There are five people in front of us and the security guard locks the doors behind us, making it clear we’re the last customers. Since it looks like we’re going to be in line for a while, this is a good time to ask for her advice about dealing with Rah’s drama.
“So, I think I’m supposed to help Rah keep Rahima, but I’m not sure if I can,” I say to Mama as we wait for the next teller.
“Did Rah ask you for your help?”
“Yes, he did.”
“Then you have a choice to make. Helping him isn’t an obligation and you should be very careful not to get hurt in the crossfire that will most definitely come.” We look at the Christmas lights shining bright in the early evening hour. Maybe it can be my gift to him and bring us all closer together. That would be the sweetest thing ever. “And remember, this isn’t about you, Rah, or Sandy. It’s about the baby, and that’s where your good ashe needs to be focused, little one.”
“Well, I saw a brownie recipe in the spirit book, for gaining good luck with the law. You think that’ll work?”
“Yes, and you should also put a little sweet water in for the good luck of the baby. That’ll be a sure winner,” Mama says, her green eyes glistening as she winks at me. Netta did Mama’s hair last week, per her usual Tuesday appointment, and it still looks immaculate.
“That’s in the spirit book?”
“Yes, right in the middle of the Potions and Tinctures section. But I’ll have to help you make it. You need all the positive ashe you can get to make it work right, especially under these circumstances.”
“Good evening, Mrs. James. How’s your holiday season going?” one of the tellers behind the counter asks Mama.
“Everything’s just fine, Mary. How’s your family doing? And I see you’ve been using the hair cream I made for you.” Mama takes out her bankcard and swipes it in the machine.
“They’re all fine and yes, I’m loving it,” she says, instinctively touching her shoulder-length curls. Anyone with eyes can tell she’s feeling good about her hair from the way she’s throwing it over her shoulders and smiling bright. Mama’s touch can do that to anyone. “I can’t thank you enough.”
“Anytime, Mary. And this is my oldest granddaughter, Jayd.” I wave at the lady and she looks at me and smiles big, but her eyes tell me she’s also wondering if I have the same touch Mama does. “We’re here to open her a checking account, and I also want to check my balance while I’m here.” Without hesitation, Mary prints out Mama a receipt and turns her attention toward me.
“Well, young lady, there’s no charge to open up a checking account and you’ll also have a savings account attached to it. Here’s your balance, Mrs. James.” She hands the paper to Mama, who reads it quickly. She then reaches down to put the paper into her bag but it falls to the floor instead.
“I got it,” I say, bending down to retrieve the small square. I glance at the total and almost choke on my own spit. Mama’s been holding out on a sistah, for real.
“Thank you,” she says, taking the paper from my hand, my mouth wide open. “Okay, Mary, can we withdraw one hundred from my checking account to open up Jayd’s account, and then deposit whatever she has on her? Merry Christmas, Jayd.”
“Thank you,” I say, still shocked at the amount of dough Mama’s sitting on. She’s not a millionaire, but in our hood they’d still think she was the shit.
“Of course, Mrs. James. It won’t take long. Let me go get the paperwork and meet you both at one of the tables.” She points to a seating area behind us and we walk over to a desk with three chairs around it to wait for Mary.
“Jayd, my money is my business, you hear?” Mama whispers, taking one of the two seats next to each other.
“Of course. But Mama, you could have your own house.” I sit next to her, ready to grill her.
“I do, and I’m not leaving it because of your grandfather, your uncles, or anyone else. If you take care of your money Oshune will always bless you with more. That’s why she likes sweetness, Jayd. During the hard times remember what’s sweetest about life and you’ll never be broke, no matter how it may look on the outside.”
“Okay, well how about hooking me up with some new gear?” I tease, but Mama doesn’t find me amusing.
“It’s not an asset if you can wear it on your ass. Remember that.” She’s right. It doesn’t matter what it may look like to anyone else, what we have is more valuable than any outfit I can buy, although I wouldn’t mind having a new wardrobe. But that’ll have to wait until my ride is solid. Living like the rich kids I go to school with must be a different experience altogether, and not all good.
By the time Mama and I finish hooking up my new account and walk home, it’s almost six and Jeremy should be pulling up anytime. I step outside of the spirit room, where Mama and I ended up looking through the spirit book, and walk to the front yard right in time for Jeremy.
“Hey, Jayd. You look tired,” Jeremy says, unlocking the doors so I can join him.
“I am. I’ve been working all day and then I had to go to the bank with my grandmother. I don’t think I’ll be able to stay awake through a movie.”
“Well, I’ll just settle for taking you home tonight. But you owe me,” he says, reaching over my head and into the backseat to reveal a large shopping bag.
“Jeremy, I thought we were over the gift-buying part of our friendship,” I say as he puts the big bag on my lap and smiles proudly. He just can’t help himself, I guess.
“It’s a necessity, not a luxury. And besides, it’s still Christmas. Open it.”
“Since when do you celebrate religious holidays?” I ask as I play with the tissue paper inside of the bag. It looks expensive, whatever it is, which makes me even more curious.
“Hey, I’m no Scrooge. I love Christmas.” I look down at the bag, unsure if I want to open it or just put it back in the backseat. Noticing my apprehension, Jeremy takes my left hand and places it inside the bag. “Now come on, what kind of friend would you be if you denied me the gift of giving? Isn’t that what this holiday’s all about?” I look into Jeremy’s blue eyes and give in. He can be very persuasive when he wants to be.
“I love it,” I say, taking the soft, pink North Face jacket out of the bag and holding it up against my chest. I know this jacket must’ve cost at least two hundred, easily. He’s gone way over the limit with this one. But I still like the way the fleece feels up against my skin.
“And I love that you love it.” He smiles at my astonishment and kisses me on the nose before continuing toward my mother’s house.
“Jeremy, I can’t accept this. I’ve already told you not to buy me any more gifts, especially not gifts that are so expensive.” As if controlled by some other force, I slip the jacket on, one arm at a time, and wrap myself up in its warmth. Damn, this feels too good.
“And I’ve told you that friends get gifts too, especially on the holidays.” He looks at me and laughs at my indecisiveness. He knows I’m not parting ways with this jacket.
“As you shouldn’t, girl,” my mom intrudes. “You better keep that jacket and make it last a long, long time. And don’t even think about feeling bad. He’s a good friend, Jayd, who wants nothing but friendship in return.”
“Thanks for the advice, mom,” I think back. She always has a way of adding her two cents at just the right time.
“Well, I don’t know what to say, Jeremy. This is really a nice gift.”
“A simple thank you will suffice,” he says, merging onto the highway with the rest of the evening traffic.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Jeremy looks down at his buzzing cell, chooses to ignore it, and then focus
es back on the road. I still haven’t taken my eyes off of my gift.
“I didn’t get you anything.” I put the jean jacket I’ve been sporting all day across my lap. It’s okay to wear during the day, and as long as I’m layered up at night and not at the beach, I don’t freeze completely. But this pink cutie will work no matter where I am or what I have on underneath.
“And I don’t want you to. I saw it and thought it would look good on you and it does,” he says, eyeing me as I stare at my reflection in the sun visor’s mirror. He’s right: this jacket suits me perfectly. Who am I to say I’m not worth it?
“How much did this set you back?” I know it’s rude to ask, but I have to know. I didn’t ask Rah how much the cell cost because he’s always spent money on me, but with a one-hundred-dollar limit because we live on budgets. But Jeremy’s spending has no cap and I want to know if this was on sale or what.
“I’m going to pretend like I didn’t just hear that,” Jeremy says, exiting the freeway. “Maybe we can do movie night at your mom’s if she doesn’t mind. I won’t keep you up too late. I know you’ve got to work in the morning.” He’s right about that. I’m going to hustle hard this next week and stack up my chips. My car needs major work and if I’m going to keep it I have to be prepared for the cost. I also want to have money in the bank like Mama does. She has enough to roll out whenever it gets to be too much for her, but I know she’s not rolling anytime soon. Just the fact that she can makes her that much more powerful, in my eyes, and I want that kind of freedom in my hands too.
6
Get Money
“Why white folks focus on dogs and yoga/
While people on the low end trying to ball and get over.”
—COMMON
I can’t believe my vacation from school is coming to an end. It’s gone by so quickly, but I’ve learned more in these two weeks with Netta and Mama than I have being in school for the past four months. When we get back next week it’ll be the end of the semester and that means finals and term papers. I was going to work on my Califia paper for government class a little more this week, but between the shop and my own clients I haven’t had a moment to myself. It’s already Wednesday and I have enough work lined up to last the rest of the week.
Mama and Netta have kept me busy both in the shop and in the spirit room. Mama and I have come up with a potion to help Rah, sweet water and all. I baked it into fudge brownies and he ate the entire batch in one sitting, which he would normally never do. Him having the munchies helped out, too. I just hope it’s enough to make the law be sweet to him and give him custody of his daughter, or at least shared custody. Mama said we can’t ask for things out of selfishness because ultimately what’s in the best interest of the client is all that matters. And as far as Mama’s concerned, Rahima’s the client and Rah and I are just acting on his daughter’s behalf.
I’ve been driving my hoopty back and forth to work, and with Rah’s help it’s been staying pretty cool, but is still not completely fixed. It’s going to take more money to make it run smooth. I still need a few items for school, and even with my car expenses, I should be able to spend some of my hard-earned money on keeping my gear tight. Mickey and I decided to hit up Lakewood Mall because it’s closer to Compton than the one in the South Bay and it’s a good place for us to meet after work. Rah and Nigel are also meeting us a little later when they get finished balling at the local park.
“Jayd, what do you think of this dress?” Mickey holds up the baby outfit and I have to say, it is cute.
“I think it’s adorable and expensive,” I say, also eyeing the price tag. “Is she getting a job straight out of the womb or what?”
“Nickey Shantae will never have to want for anything and deserves to rock it like mommy and daddy do,” she says, putting the pricey ensemble across her arm and waddling on down the aisle. Mickey is too much sometimes.
“Mickey, you don’t even know if it’s a girl yet.”
“Yes, I do. Mothers just know, Jayd, even if it would make Nigel happy to have a boy. But he’ll have to wait until next time.”
“No comment,” I say, not wanting to ruin our shopping day. I’ll let her live in her knocked-up version of a fairy tale a little longer. But eventually my girl’s going to have to wake up. If Nellie were here she’d be on reality alert. But it’s just me, and I don’t want to be the one to throw salt in her game. It’s been a long workday and the rest of the week promises to only get longer with New Year’s being Friday.
“So what are y’all doing for New Year’s?”
“I’m going to be at home. It’s a tradition for me and Mama to spend it together.” Especially now. Mama had a dream about violence again and insists we bring in the New Year at the family shrine. And after my dream about falling to the ground with Rahima on my back, I’m with Mama completely on this one. “How about you? Are you and Nigel hanging out?”
“No. His family wants him to ring in the New Year at church. I want to go but I don’t think they’ll be too happy to see me there.”
“What about your man? Don’t y’all usually have a cookout at your house?”
“Yeah, but I’m not feeling that this year. I want to hang with my boo.” Mickey looks down at her growing belly and I think I actually see tears in her eyes. I feel for my girl and her baby. She’s managed to get herself into quite a tense situation, with no end in sight.
“Mickey, then go. Maybe if you show up they’ll be alright with it. You never know until you try.” A cute, yellow overall set catches my eye. That’ll look so cute on Rahima.
“Yeah, maybe. But I don’t want to get into it with his parents anymore. I want to win them over and I don’t think I can do it in the two days we have left until New Year’s.”
“Mickey, this is a new side of you. You usually could give a damn about what people think of you, and that’s an understatement.”
“I know. It’s pathetic, right?”
“No, not really. If you’re really digging him, of course you want to be in with the family, depending on the family.” In my case, I wish both Rah and Jeremy’s folks didn’t know me sometimes.
“And you know I’m really digging Nigel if I care about what his parents think of me. I can’t help smiling when I think about him.” And I know how sprung she feels. Every time I’m around Rah I cheese bigger than all outside, so I really can’t say shit when it comes to her being in love with Nigel.
“Yeah, I know how you feel.” Rah gets to me like no other dude ever has, not even Jeremy. But Jeremy does come close. I think if Rah asked me to be his one and only girl I would sacrifice Jeremy to do so, but we’d always be friends. Lucky for me and Jeremy Rah’s nowhere near ready for that kind of commitment. He is acting a little more clingy lately, but I think it’s just because of the baby. Out of nowhere, Mickey starts bawling and making that ugly crying face I can’t stand.
“Why do I feel so bad every time I’m not with Nigel? This can’t be love if it hurts like this,” Mickey whines as she continues shopping through her tears. For her and Nigel’s wallet’s sake, I hope it’s a girl. Between this shopping spree and the one she went on last week, if it’s not a girl they’ll have some serious exchanging to do. And most of the stuff she’s buying is on sale, so I’m not sure if they’ll be able to get their money back. “I never felt this way with my man and we’ve been together since junior high. He was my first and everything, but he can’t touch Nigel right now.”
“Love always hurts,” I say, remembering Maman getting beat down by her husband in front of her daughter and lover. Talk about pain. “If it doesn’t hurt at some point it ain’t the real thing.”
“Damn, Jayd. When did you become so bitter? I thought you were the hopeless romantic of our crew.”
“If you haven’t noticed, our crew is down to two, and neither one of us is in the best position to be all romantic about life, now are we?” Mickey looks at me and sees I’m not joking. This love thing sucks and I’m tired of crying about it.
It takes up way too much energy and I don’t have any to spare and neither does she.
“Speak for yourself. I want the whole thing, and being in good with Nigel’s parents is the only way I’m going to get it.” The women in line turn around and look at Mickey like she’s speaking over a loud speaker. She’s adamant about her position, but not any louder than usual.
“But you already know Mr. and Mrs. Esop ain’t going for it and probably never will.” I look down and eye the few bags I have for my stuff and Rahima’s outfit. I didn’t get much, but it’s enough to get me through the winter, especially with my new jacket to keep me warm.
“I’m working on that. Besides, once the baby’s here they won’t be able to resist their granddaughter.” I look at Mickey and now realize she’s in serious denial. Nigel’s parents will never accept her as a part of their family, especially not the part that marries their NFL-hopeful son. I love my girl but she has to realize that everyone doesn’t feel the same way about us Compton girls. She’s considered fine around our hood, with her large bamboo earrings, curved acrylic nails, and ghetto-fabulous attire. But for Nigel’s parents, Mickey’s their worst nightmare come true, and they’re not going to claim Mickey or her baby without a fight.
“Mickey, I don’t think it’s going to get any better,” I say, moving in line right along with her. For a Wednesday evening, the crowd is out in full force and I’m tired of dealing with the public. All I want is to get back to my mom’s and pass out on the couch while watching reruns of Martin.
“Watch and see. We’re going to be one big happy family. Nigel and I want to be together and raise our baby up the right way.” She takes her purchases to the next available register and pulls out her cash. Now she’s getting an allowance from both her man and Nigel until her man finds out about her and Nigel running around. It must be nice, but the gravy train’s going to end sooner than later and Mickey needs to wake up before it’s too late. I hand my single purchase and the remainder of my shopping cash to the second cashier. Damn, money goes fast.
