by L. Divine
“For real, Mom?” I think back. I take a seat at the bus stop, watching the cars go by and pray that she’s not playing with me.
“Yes, girl. Would I play with you about something as serious as this? He sees how hard you’re hustling and wants to help and it just so happens he can. You can say thank you when you see him next weekend. Bye, baby, and be safe getting back.”
When I finally make my way back to my mom’s house in Rah’s car, it’s late and I’m tired to the bone. I have clients around the neighborhood all day tomorrow and I still have to get ready for school next week. It’s the start of a new semester but I have a feeling it’s going to be the same old drama. With Nigel and Mickey both out of my day-to-day life and Nellie sucking Chance even deeper into her fake world, I don’t know who I’m going to hang with. Jeremy’s proven yet again to be unsympathetic toward the tales from my hood, and I don’t know if I want to hang around him like that right now. Maggie and her crew are the only ones who seem to understand me fully, and that resonates with how I’m feeling right now.
Making my way into the dark apartment, I trip over my own shit blocking the door. When I left this morning I was in such a hurry that I left my weekend bag, as well as other things, laid out on the floor. Lucky for me my mom’s spending more and more time at Karl’s, which leaves me to be a slob on the weekends if I so choose.
“I need to get organized,” I say aloud to myself. My backpack is filled with old letters, miscellaneous papers, and other things that have no place in my life anymore. I separate the important stuff from the trash and throw the trash away. My letters go in my letter box, which I keep in the bottom of my mom’s living room closet.
When I open the plain wooden box that I made in shop class in junior high, the first thing that pops out of the overstuffed thing is a letter from Rah. It’s so old and has been read and reread so many times it’s falling apart.
Dear Jayd,
I know I messed up big time, but I want to make it up to you. Please forgive me, girl. You know I never meant to hurt you. That’s why I didn’t tell you about me and Sandy or about our daughter. If I could go back in time and change everything, I would.
But I can’t and I also can’t live without you. Please talk to me. I love you, Rah.
I never got over the pain he caused me when he betrayed my trust. I know he feels now that in his mind I’ve done the same thing, but I couldn’t prevent Sandy from taking off with Rahima. I hope he understands the limitations of my powers one day. I hope I understand them, too. Until then, I have to work with what I’ve got and hope for the best. Tonight is all about resting and trying to shake off this week. Everything else will have to wait until I wake up.
Epilogue
After braiding hair all day and pressing Shawntrese’s hair, I’m tired out of my mind. Rah texted me and told me to leave his car at my mom’s and he’ll get it when he can. I drove my mom’s car home for the first time and almost broke my neck trying to shift her clutch. I know the basics of driving a stick, but it’s going to take time to get used to it. I even had to put away my iPod so that I could focus better. I’m sticking to driving the streets until I get the hang of it. I already called Mama and told her I was coming home by myself. I also told her I needed to talk about all that’s happened and she’s waiting with open arms. I hope those arms come with a plate of food because a sistah’s starving. I haven’t had a chance to eat all day and could use some of her home cooking to make me feel better.
When I get home, Mama’s out back working and not in the kitchen cooking, which is where I had hoped to find her. I guess it’s another burger-and-fries type of night for me. I should’ve stopped somewhere on my way home, but maybe I can go out and get something after I talk to Mama.
“Tragedy happens, loss happens, and death happens. That is what this odu states,” Mama says, reclaiming the small cowrie shells spread out on the mat before giving them another throw. How Mama keeps all of the odu—or spiritual stories—in her head still amazes me. But she does, and insists on giving me another reading.
“So, there’s nothing I can do?”
Mama breathes deeply and looks up at me before throwing the shells again. “You have to use your gift of sight to see the unseen. For you that means learning how to control your dreams and read them properly. Without cultivating your gifts you won’t get very far,” she says, putting the shells back in their box and rising from the mat. Mama was in the middle of her Sunday gardening and personal time in the spirit room when I got home. I feel honored she stopped her work to help me.
“I guess the only thing we can do is deal with the past and keep moving through the present. You have life so you must live,” Mama says, heading back outside to till the garden. She’s always careful not to damage the plants while she pulls out the weeds, a skill I have yet to acquire.
“I know, Mama. It’s still hard, though, knowing I’m never going to see Tre around the block again and that my own homegirl is indirectly responsible for it.” Mama looks at me and arches her eyebrow like she does when she wants to state the obvious but stops herself. I know Mickey is a little more responsible than that, but she didn’t pull the trigger so I can’t blame it all on her.
“You have the power to change only yourself and that means you can’t change the people you associate with either. We’ve already talked about frenemies and other harmful people in your life. If the friends around you are doing more harm than good, it’s time to let them go, and you can’t feel bad about that. All growth demands shedding. Look at these squash. Now, when I first planted the seeds they had to struggle to get out of the ground. They have to deal with other plants trying to stunt their development, not because they mean to but because that’s what weeds do. To move toward the sun, toward the fruition of their purpose, the weeds have to be killed, and as the plants’ caretaker, that’s my job.”
“Are you saying I need to weed out my friends because they’re not growing with me? Then I’ll have no one left.”
“It’s like anything in life, Jayd. It’s precious while it’s right here in front of you. But when it’s gone, you can no longer cherish the physical. Now, that doesn’t mean that you forget about it or neglect the memory. But you can’t let the past be your crutch. If there are issues you need to deal with in the past that are keeping you from moving forward, then deal with them.” Now that’s the best advice I’ve heard all day. I have to find a way to fix all of the mistakes I’ve made in the past regarding my friendships, especially with Rah. I have to figure out a way to get his daughter back and how to keep Sandy from getting away with taking Rahima again. And if controlling my dreams is the first step to doing that, I’m all for it.
A Reading Group Guide
Drama High, Volume 8:
KEEP IT MOVIN’
L. Divine
ABOUT THIS GUIDE
The following questions are intended to
enhance your group’s reading of
DRAMA HIGH: KEEP IT MOVIN’
by L. Divine.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. If you were Jayd would you get close to Rahima? Why or why not?
2. Do you think it was fair of the school to ask Mickey to leave until after the baby’s born? Would you have done the same thing as Mickey?
3. Is Misty justified in her anger toward Mickey and Jayd? Do you think she’s been given a bad rap as she claims?
4. Should Nigel be asked to leave the school too? Do you think guys have it easier than girls in these situations in particular? Explain.
5. Was Jayd ungrateful to her dad about her gift? Would you have reacted the same way?
6. If you were Nellie would you still be friends with Laura after all she’s done to you? Do you know of cliques like this? How do they work?
7. Write your own petition asking for what you want and don’t want out of your current situation. Be honest, thoughtful, and most important, be positive.
8. Do you think Esmeralda, Misty, and Misty’s moth
er have a genuine relationship? Do you think it’s beneficial for Misty to have Esmeralda in her life as a mentor and grandmother figure? Explain.
9. Did Rah do the right thing by asking Jayd to stand up with him in front of the judge? Did he go about it righteously, or could he have done it a little differently?
10. Was Jayd justified in her initial reaction to Rah’s request? What would you have done?
11. How is Jeremy’s Christmas gift to Jayd different in intention from the other expensive gifts he’s bought her in the past? Should Jayd have accepted it? Why or why not?
12. Do you think Nellie will ever go back to hanging with Jayd and her crew? If you were Jayd could you forgive Nellie?
13. Is Mickey to blame for the shooting? What steps could she have taken to keep this tragedy from occurring?
14. Should Jayd forgive Mickey for what she’s done? How would you react if one of your best friends were shot?
15. Do you think Jeremy’s till trying to buy Jayd’s affection with expensive gifts? Do you think Jayd should accept the gifts or give them back?
16. Have you opened a bank account? Do you have a savings account? Like Jayd, do most of your friends hide their money rather than put it in the bank?
17. If you were Jayd, would you have kept her car or have done what she did? Explain an alternate reaction she should’ve had.
Stay tuned for the next book in
the DRAMA HIGH series,
HOLIDAZE
Until then, satisfy your DRAMA HIGH craving
with the following excerpt from the next
exciting installment.
ENJOY!
Prologue
“Jayd, can you hear me?” Mama says. But I can’t see where her voice is coming from. I know I’m dreaming but it feels too real to be a dream. “Jayd, snap out of it before you get hurt!” Why is she tripping? All I’m doing is walking around the living room and I could walk around this entire house with my eyes closed and not trip over a thing. But wait, this isn’t our living room. It looks like it but I can tell from the furniture I’m back in Maman’s time, and this is her house.
“Jon Paul, no! Give her back to me!” Maman screams at her husband, who’s holding their daughter tight. The baby screams loudly as Maman’s cries get even more powerful. She begins to shriek like an opera singer and my great-grandfather can’t take anymore. He slaps Maman hard with the back of his hand and she falls to the floor, hitting the Christmas tree on the way down.
“Lynn Mae,” Maman cries, holding her bloody face with one hand and reaching her free hand up toward her daughter, who is still in her father’s arms.
“Jayd, wake up, now!” Mama shouts but this time she’s not in my dream with me. Where is her voice coming from?
“What is she doing here?” Jon Paul asks my great-grandmother, looking dead at me. Oh hell, no. I don’t want to be in this dream. Maybe I should wake up, but I can’t. I have no control over when I wake up from, or fall into, my dreams.
“Yes, you do, Jayd, and now is the time to exercise that power. Wake your ass up!”
Just then, Jon Paul charges at me with his daughter in tow like he’s going to slap me too. What the hell?
“Jon Paul, Sarah has nothing to do with this. Leave her alone,” Maman says, now on her feet, her green eyes glowing like I’ve never seen before. Unlike in my last dream with Maman, this time her eyes look like emerald fireballs. He’s in for it now. And who the hell is Sarah?
“She’s always here. You know all about her whoreish ways, don’t you, young lady?” I back away from my great-grandfather, frightened of his temper. As I stumble over a chair, I land in it and catch my reflection in a clean pot on the kitchen stove. The face staring back at me belongs to a girl about my age, but it ain’t me. Ah hell, no. This is too much for me to handle.
“Jon Paul, haven’t you heard of picking on someone your own size?” Maman’s voice begins to get higher in pitch and her eyes are even brighter as she focuses all of her attention on him. His head begins to pulsate just like it did in the vision that Mama and I shared on Christmas Eve, and he can’t take it anymore. He begins to charge toward the kitchen door, but Maman’s not letting him go anywhere with her daughter.
“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Maman says, putting her arms out for her daughter, whose eyes are also glowing. “Sarah, come here. And bring Lynn Mae with you. He can’t hurt you now.” I don’t move because I don’t realize she’s talking to me. But when she focuses her glowing gaze in my direction I jump up from the chair, walk toward the mentally paralyzed man and take my grandmother out of his hands. When I reach my great-grandmother, she pushes us behind her and focuses all of her energy on crippling her husband. Maman’s powers are completely off the chain. And I thought Mama was gangster with her shit.
“Jayd, drink this,” Mama says, still outside of my dream. I look down at the baby in my arms and she smiles back at me, making me think of what Rahima must be doing now. But this is Mama, not Rahima, and I’m about to freak out completely if I don’t wake up soon.
“Why is Jayd standing in the middle of the living room floor so late?” I can hear Bryan but I can’t see him either. What’s really going on?
“She’s sleepwalking. Help me keep her safe but don’t touch her,” Mama says. Sleepwalking? Damn it. I haven’t done this in years and it’s never good when I do. “Jayd, focus on my voice, not on whatever’s going on in your dream and snap out of it, please!” The urgency in Mama’s voice scares me but I still can’t find my way out.
“Okay girls, it’s time to make our move,” Maman says, not letting go of her visual hold on Jon Paul for a second. “He kicked in the front door, as you can see, so we’re going to have to make our way out the back. Stay behind me. And Sarah, whatever you do, don’t let go of Lynn Mae.” We follow my great-grandmother back into the kitchen and walk around her husband, who is now crippled on the floor and holding his head, which looks like it’s going to burst. “Walk right by him. Don’t look at him. Just keep moving and everything will be okay.”
“Jayd, stop walking,” Mama says, but I can’t. I have to follow Maman and get baby Mama out of harm’s way.
“Jayd, it’s not real. Stop walking, now! Bryan, follow us.”
I follow Maman out of the back door, hand her baby to her and she looks at me, releasing me from my dream state.
Upon waking, I fall back into Bryan’s arms, completely lifeless.
“Here, Jayd. Swallow this,” Mama says, forcing some thick concoction down my throat. I resist at first because the smell is putrid. Whatever’s in this cup reminds me of when Mama used to make me drink orange juice mixed with castor oil when I would get constipated as a child. I still don’t drink orange juice to this day because of that experience.
“Y’all are too much for a nigga sometimes, you know that?” Bryan says, holding on to me tightly as Mama continues force-feeding me. I hate it when this happens.
“Watch your mouth,” Mama says to Bryan. I look up at the both of them and realize we are standing on the back porch. It’s cold outside and dark. Mama’s dog looks at us from her post on the bottom step and seemingly shakes her head at the sight. All Lexi does is sleep and scratch herself, so I’m really not worried about disturbing her. “Jayd, are you okay, baby?” I hear Mama but I’m feeling Bryan right now. Sometimes it’s too much for me, too. If I could just leave my powers at the curb right now I’d do it in a heartbeat. I’m sick of this shit.
“I’m fine,” I say, coughing up some of the thickness she’s made me swallow. I’m shivering in my nightgown and sweats and my feet are bare, causing the cold to run straight through my body. “Can I go back to bed now?” If Bryan’s just getting in from his radio show, it must be close to two in the morning and it’s a school day for me no matter what kind of dream I just had.
“Not until you tell me what that was all about, Jayd. Whenever you sleepwalk it’s serious, girl, and you know it.”
“Mama, I start a new seme
ster tomorrow and I have to drive my mom’s stick shift all the way to Redondo Beach for the first time. I need sleep. Please, can we talk tomorrow?” Mama looks into my eyes and feels my pain.
“Fine, but don’t forget any of it. I need details.” I’m sure she’s already got the summary in her mind. And I wish I could forget, but this dream was too freaky. I’ve never dreamt of being someone else before. I hope that was the last time it happens. I have enough to deal with as it is. I just want to get through this day with as little trouble as possible. With new classes, Mickey and Nellie tripping, and Nigel still out because of his wounded arm, there’s going to be enough drama to deal with as it is.
1
Walk On By
“That’s all that I have left, so let me hide/
The pain and the hurt that you gave me when you said goodbye.”
—DIONNE WARWICK
After this morning’s sleepwalking episode, I could barely get myself out of the bed, let alone dressed and ready to go. Luckily I don’t have to get up as early as I did before my mom let me take her car, but six is still early in my book. Speaking of books, I forgot my backpack, rushing out the door this morning, so my day’s not going to be easy, especially since we receive our new books for the semester and take them home to cover.
I’m not excited about my new class schedule because not much has really changed. That’s one of the major problems with being on the Advanced Placement track: the monotony is grueling and there’s always the added curse of having to deal with Mrs. Bennett. With any luck, I won’t run into her or Misty today. That would make everything better.
“Damn it,” I say aloud while attempting to shift the car into first gear on the steep hill near campus. There aren’t many hills between Compton and Inglewood, so I never got to practice balancing the clutch in various situations. Where’s Rah when I need him? He hasn’t talked to me since Sandy took off in his grandfather’s car with Rahima. I know he’s pissed but it really wasn’t my fault. How was I supposed to know she would make a copy of his keys and jack Rah the first chance she got?
