by Dori Lavelle
“Stop teasing,” Melisa scoffed. She missed her pre-pregnancy figure. Unlike Carlene, she had never been a tall, slim, long-legged woman, but she did once have curves to die for. Right now, she felt like a thirty-seven-year-old dumpling. But despite her complaints, she was enjoying her pregnancy—six months and feeling strong. Nothing wonderful came for free. The unflattering changes to her body were a small price to pay for creating a miracle. For the occasion, she had made an effort to look nice. She’d put on some makeup and instead of a ponytail, she let her red hair fall in ringlets around her shoulders, complimenting the chocolate-brown chiffon cocktail dress she’d bought last week at Ronny’s. She didn’t stray from her beloved ballerinas, however. She felt more beautiful when she was comfortable.
“No, I mean it.” Carlene sat at the kitchen table.
“Where are Daria and Nick?”
“Nick is helping the others hang up the decorations faster than Daria can get to them.” As she thought of her husband and daughter, Carlene’s eyes brightened, like the sun appearing from behind rainclouds. She didn’t care that Nick was a millionaire. She knew in her heart that even if the jewelry, the expensive clothes, the cars, and the mansions were taken away, as long as she had him, she would feel like the richest woman on earth.
Melisa used a dishcloth to wipe icing off her finger, wishing she could lick it off. Since she had been diagnosed with gestational diabetes, she was watching every piece of food she ate. She would take no risks when it came to the baby they had worked so hard for. Luckily, she was an expert baker who didn’t have to taste a cake to know it was the right kind of sweet. Sometimes she asked someone else to have a taste, but not always.
“I don’t get why Heat wanted decorations,” Melisa said with a small sigh.
“He wants your birthday and baby shower to be beautiful.”
Melisa smiled as she wiped down the kitchen counter until not a crumb was left in sight. “I’m joking. I kind of like it. I never got to celebrate my birthday as a child, since it was the day that reminded my mother of my father’s death. After he died, she spent all my birthdays drunk, and instead of partying with my friends, I cleaned up her vomit.” She’d forgiven her mother eventually, especially after she herself had experienced how easy it was to believe in the escape alcohol promised. After her ex-husband, Scott, had died, she had lived each moment for the next drop of oblivion.
Carlene stood up and laid a hand on Melisa’s shoulder. “I know. I’m glad your life is good now.”
“Me too. I can’t believe I married another fireman.” While married to Scott, Melisa had always lived in fear of something happening to him during a fire. Eventually, her fears materialized, and he died on the job. Now that she was married to Heat, she tried on a daily basis to push negative thoughts out of her mind, in case they came true. Life was too short to live in fear. “I never thought we’d leave Oasis.”
Carlene nodded. “The world outside looked so frightening through its windows.”
Oasis was the homeless shelter where they’d met after both of their lives had crumbled. Both had lost the men they thought were the loves of their lives. Melisa was an alcoholic and a gambling addict, and Carlene was contemplating suicide. With the help of Oasis, they both began to recover. Even after they grew strong enough to face the world, they remained at the shelter, living and working as members of the staff, helping others like themselves overcome their demons.
Until fate yanked them back into the worlds they’d left behind.
“Okay, I’ll go and keep Daria from ripping open your presents. Take it easy in here. No cleaning like a madwoman. You need your strength to have fun.”
Melisa laughed. She was a neat freak and she saw nothing wrong with it; it was therapeutic and had gotten her through some terrible times. Cleaning helped clear her mind. But she had dialed things down a notch since she found out she was pregnant. She was careful never to overwork herself. “I need to ice the cupcakes and then I’ll have a rest, I promise.”
***
The party was a small gathering, but Melisa wanted only her closest friends and family there. As they urged her to blow out the candles, her face glowed with an immeasurable happiness that permeated right through her. She was at peace, and barely able to contain the joy that spilled out of her. Funny how being both sad and happy had the power to take a person’s breath away.
She closed her eyes to make a wish, and for the first time in a long time she couldn’t think of anything she wanted more than this—what she already had. So she wished that all the good would remain, that the blessings were here to stay. She blew out the white candles on the yellow birthday cake. Heat had tried to talk her out of baking her own cake, but after much persuasion from Melisa, he had caved. She was, after all, one of the best bakers in Serendipity. Mel’s Delights, her bakery, was the go-to place for anyone in need of delicious and elaborate cakes and other sweet treats. Her dream for the near future was to expand to other towns in Door County and eventually the rest of Wisconsin.
Clapping rang out and Melisa gazed at everyone in turn. Carlene and Nick, her closest friends; Lucy, Heat’s sister; the five Deare sisters, friends from school; her mother, who was back in her life; and her husband, who completed her world. She placed a hand on her stomach. The baby kicked in response.
Everyone asked Melisa to go ahead and open the presents, but she always preferred to do that in an unrushed atmosphere, where she could appreciate each individual present in peace. This time was hers to spend with the people she loved and cared about.
Melisa’s mother helped her carry the presents to the master bedroom, for her to open later. Turning back from placing a box on the bed, Melisa watched her bring in an enormous bouquet of yellow roses. Her heart began pounding, but she didn’t say a word until her mom had placed it on the dresser and left the room. Melisa immediately picked up the bouquet and studied it. They were the exact flowers Scott used to buy her when he was alive. She used to receive a bouquet just like this at every birthday and wedding anniversary. He matched the number of the roses with the age she had reached or the number of years they had been married.
Melisa took a deep breath and held it as she counted them. Thirty-seven. Her heart raced as she lowered the white ceramic vase onto the table again and shook her head. Who could have sent them to her? She read the card. It said simply: Happy Birthday, Melisa. It couldn’t be Heat, because he had already given her his present first thing in the morning: a diamond necklace and a bouquet of calla lilies.
A knock on the door startled Melisa and she turned away from the flowers. She gripped the edge of the dresser tightly with one hand.
Carlene stood in the doorway holding a glass of champagne. “Are you okay?” She tilted her head to the side. “You look worried about something.”
Her mouth dry, Melisa wobbled to the door and ushered Carlene inside. She closed the door again and led her to the dresser. “I received these flowers and I have no idea from whom. Scott used to send me yellow roses on my birthday and our anniversary. It doesn’t make sense.”
Carlene felt one of the lush roses with the tip of her finger. “Couldn’t anyone have sent them? They do fit with the baby shower theme.”
“That’s what I thought at first, but there are thirty-seven. Scott always gave me a bouquet of yellow roses that corresponded to the number of years I had turned.”
Carlene shrugged. “It could just be a coincidence.”
“I guess.” Melisa felt foolish for even thinking the roses could be from Scott. “You’re right. Come on, let’s get back to the party.”
Melisa managed to shake off any thoughts of Scott and enjoyed her party. She played dress-up with Daria, participated in games of Monopoly and charades, and laughed at silly jokes until her stomach hurt.
At the end of the evening, she gave the roses to Josie Deare. They would brighten up the new offices of Silken Dreams, the wedding planning business she and her sisters had recently started up. No matter who had gi
ven her the flowers, Melisa knew she’d never be able to look at them without thinking about the past, which was a long way behind her now. There was no looking back for her, not even for a moment.
Chapter Four
Melisa grasped Heat’s shoulder, and he roused long enough to curl his arms around her and pull her close to his warm body.
She loved it when he did that. His solid muscles pressed against her made her feel safe. She basked in the whisper of his breath in her ear and against her cheek as he slept. Heat had an intoxicating effect on her senses, as if he were some kind of drug; often, all he needed to do was touch her or gaze at her with his dark, sleepy eyes and she would simply melt. There were occasions when, in the middle of the night, she’d have to wake him to release the sexual tension that he had helped build up inside of her. But tonight was different. She needed him for something else.
She squeezed his arm again, her short nails digging into his firm flesh. “Honey, wake up.” She bit into her lip until it throbbed. She gazed at the window, watching the moonlight make the thin curtain glow. It was after midnight and she felt guilty for waking him. He worked long hours, and he needed his sleep on nights off like this one.
Sitting up in bed, Heat blinked away sleep. “Are you okay, baby?”
“I don’t know… I’m not sure.” Melisa tried to be brave, even though a thread of fear wound itself around her neck and started to squeeze her throat shut. “I think I’m having contractions. It’s too early.” It could be nothing, but she wasn’t about to take any chances. She already had to be extra careful because of the gestational diabetes. She would do anything to protect this baby.
Heat threw back the covers and leaped out of bed. He pulled on a pair of jeans and a wrinkled T-shirt, grabbed the small bag they already had packed for her, and helped get her dressed. Without a word, he picked her up and carried her to their SUV, strapped her in, and got into the driver’s seat.
Chapter Five
Heat might have looked confident and in control, but his heart was pounding hard as he got dressed and prepared to drive Melisa to Serendipity Memorial. Could this be the night he met his daughter? As exciting as the prospect was, he was scared that it was too early, and Melisa’s was a risky pregnancy. But he couldn’t let his wife see his fear. He had to be strong, for all three of them.
Everything would turn out perfectly. Either they would return home in no time, laughing about the false alarm, or they would be holding their child before morning.
He had never been an overly religious person, couldn’t even remember the last time he’d prayed. But now, he found himself sending up a silent prayer for the baby to be okay. He had to hold on to that thought. If anything happened to the baby, he couldn’t even start to imagine what it would do to Melisa.
Chapter Six
Melisa caressed Heat’s cheek. She could see he was barely awake. “Sorry, baby. I didn’t want to wake you, but I think it’s best to go to the hospital. Just in case.”
He shook his head. “Sleep can wait. You and the baby are my priority.”
Melisa smiled weakly and closed her eyes as an invisible fist punched her hard in the stomach, driving bile up her throat. Her eyes flew open, but she only saw stars. She blinked several times and prayed softly. The baby had to live. Any thoughts to the contrary were unacceptable. Even if their daughter decided to step into their lives tonight, Melisa told herself, she would be only a few weeks early, and the doctors would be able to deliver her without a problem.
“We’ll be there soon, sweetheart. You and our little girl will be just fine, you hear me?” Heat glanced at her but his jaw was set tight, and Melisa didn’t miss the fear that swam in his still-sleepy eyes.
Melisa groaned, then gathered up the strength to say more. “Hurry… faster.” She now felt a growing pressure in her lower body, as if the baby were already trying to force itself out.
“Okay, baby.” Heat edged over the speed limit. “I love you, Melisa. Just hang on a little longer.”
Melisa gazed out the window, watching the multicolored city lights connecting in a blur, making her dizzy. Tears burned her eyes, but she refused to release them. What if crying was a way of accepting whatever bad luck hovered over her life? Even if it took every ounce of strength she had, she would remain positive. Even if she felt as if her insides were being wrung like a wet dish cloth. This baby was meant to live and nothing would stand in the way of that. Not even a lifetime of bad luck.
Melisa extricated her gaze from the window and gripped the hem of her skirt. Gritting her teeth, she steeled herself for the next contraction. In that instant, something rammed into the rear of the car, sending it spinning. Suddenly, she was thrown with great force to one side. A ball of pain erupted inside her, but before she could react to it, she glanced out the window and saw a fire hydrant rushing toward them at great speed. As a scream formed inside her throat, there was a loud crash and crunching sound, and everything around her went black. The last thing she remembered was the screech of tires and smell of burning rubber.
***
When Melisa opened her eyes again, she was in a hospital bed and her head felt heavy and at the same time as if it were floating above her body. A bald doctor and a young nurse stood near the door, gazing at a clipboard and talking in hushed tones.
Melisa almost laughed. What kind of curse followed her? What the hell had happened this time?
“Mrs. Dane, welcome back. Can you hear me?” The doctor, who seemed to have a permanent frown carved between his eyebrows, approached the bed. “Do you know where you are?”
Melisa nodded. She’d been here enough times. She would recognize the place with her eyes closed. The first time had been the day Scott died and she had lost their baby. The second time had been the night she accidentally set the Oasis Shelter on fire and Heat had rescued her, reentering her life after many years, and insisting on teaching her to live again. She was admitted again when she fainted after an argument with her mother. Soon after, the doctor had told her she was pregnant.
“Do you remember what happened?”
She shook her head and then the memory dropped into her mind. Sudden panic arrested her. There had been an accident. Heat had been driving her to the hospital. “Accident… Oh, my God.” She placed a hand on her stomach and attempted to sit up, but soreness in the lower part of her body discouraged her. “My baby?”
“Yes, Mrs. Dane, you were involved in a car accident, but you were very lucky. You’re going to be fine.”
Melisa felt around her stomach, searching. Under her trembling fingers, it felt like a deflated balloon. “My baby? What happened to my… Oh God, no…” They didn’t need to say the words that would crush her world. She already knew. She turned to her side and curled up into a ball with her arms wrapped around her middle. Her stomach cramped up, but she didn’t care about the sting. Her physical torment was nothing. She tipped her head back and glared at them. “What happened to my baby?”
The doctor glanced at the nurse, and her expression said it all.
“And my husband?” Tears laced Melisa’s voice. “Is he all right? Tell me he’s okay.”
“Don’t worry. He’s fine. He made it through with only minor scratches.”
Melisa nodded. Relief poured into her, causing her body to sag deeper into the bed. Maybe there was hope for the baby, too. Maybe her fingers were lying, or she was dreaming. “Tell me my baby is fine too…please.” She forced the words out of her raw throat, felt them scrape her tongue.
“I’m very sorry, Mrs. Dane,” the doctor said, while the nurse averted her gaze. “You and your husband made it through the accident, but the baby didn’t survive. We had to perform immediate surgery.”
“You removed her? You killed my baby?” Melisa covered her mouth with her hand. This couldn’t be happening. She had to be dreaming. As a last attempt, she pinched her arm hard and it hurt.
This was no dream.
“The baby didn’t survive. I’m very sorry. The
procedure we performed could only save either you or the baby. We had to make an urgent choice or we would have lost both of you.”
Melisa narrowed her eyes to mere slits. “Who gave you the right to choose me?”
“Your husband gave us the permission. He chose you. If he had chosen the baby, she might not have made it. Your chances of survival were higher.”
Melisa’s whole body clenched and a gut-wrenching scream deafened her. It took her a moment to realize it was coming from her own mouth, and only because she saw a panicked expression on the nurse’s face.
She stopped screaming and closed her eyes as her reality handcuffed her to the bars of sorrow. She could almost feel her hopes and dreams for the future turning to dust. For the baby, she’d eaten right and exercised just the right amount and tried not to work more than she had to. And it was all for nothing. The baby she had wanted so much and tried so hard to conceive, the little girl she already loved with every breath, was gone, because someone decided she wasn’t important enough to live.
The doctor injected her with something. A few moments later she had calmed down and fallen asleep. When she woke up again, her hand was in someone else’s.
Heat’s head lay nuzzled next to her stomach. Her empty stomach. When she moved, he looked up. His eyes were bloodshot and clouded. He looked like he’d been crying for hours.
“Hey, baby. I’m so glad you’re okay. It’s all my fault. I’m so sorry.” He ran a calloused thumb along the top of her hand. “I should have called nine-one-one instead of driving. I was so worried about the baby that I wasn’t paying enough attention. It was a hit and run. But I should have seen it coming.”
Melisa removed her hand from his and pulled it under the bed sheet, forming a fist at her side. “How dare you,” she glared at him. “You had no right to tell them to kill our baby. You had no right.” She closed her sore eyes and turned her face away from him. She couldn’t bear the sight of him, not now. She didn’t hold him responsible for the accident. An accident was an accident. Another driver hit them, and Heat had no control over that. But their baby had made it out alive. She could have been saved if he’d only said the word. But he chose to let her die. His explanations and apologies wouldn’t diffuse the anger and hurt that coursed like poison through her veins. Maybe after some days, weeks, or months, she might forgive him. But at this moment, she couldn’t see beyond the fact that he had made the decision to kill what might have been her only hope of being a mother again.
