by Dori Lavelle
Chapter Twenty-Three
A knock on the door woke Melisa from a restless sleep. Feeling as if her limbs were filled with lead, she padded to the door, wondering who could be coming by so early in the morning. She opened the door and started, then merely stared, tongue-tied.
“Hi, Melisa.” Ben carried a backpack and wore a leather jacket and scuffed jeans. “Florian told me you were here. Can I come in?”
“Yes, of course,” Melisa said, but she didn’t move from the doorway, still shaken to be seeing her son. When she recovered some, she stepped aside and he entered. “Sorry.” Her voice sounded odd to her ears. “Can I offer you something to drink…or eat?”
“No, I’m fine.” Ben pushed his hands into his pockets. He looked uncomfortable in the luxurious room, as if he felt he didn’t belong. “Can I sit?”
“Ben, you don’t have to ask.” Melisa sat first, and he lowered himself onto the opposite end of the leather couch. “I’m so happy to see you.”
He nodded and looked down at his hands, which were splayed over his knees. “I came to Serendipity to visit a friend. I decided to drop by and say hi to you and Florian.” He paused. “I’m sorry again about last time… when you came to see me in Madison. It wasn’t cool of me to act the way I did. I thought I was ready to meet you. But I guess I freaked out. I felt like I was betraying my parents, as if I was replacing them, you know?”
“Yes, and I understand.” Melisa held her breath. She would say as little as possible. Now that he was here all on his own, she didn’t want to chase him away. She would let him say what he came to tell her, and if he wanted to leave again, she would let him go.
Although she had promised herself she would keep her distance and give him time, she did call him a few days after she’d lost the baby, to say hi and remind herself that she still had another child. She had been crushed when he never picked up or returned her call. Apart from that moment of weakness when she had reached out to him, she had loved him from a distance, and only sent him occasional emails to tell him in a few words how they were doing, and to wish him well. No promises, no pressure, no forcing him to accept her as his mother. In her emails she hadn’t even told him about the accident, as she hadn’t wanted him to feel obligated to contact them.
“Thank you for emailing.” He raked a hand through his hair, looking the way Heat did when he was unsure of what to say. “I don’t read my emails often. I just logged in last week again after a month or so. That’s why I didn’t call after…” He glanced at her stomach. How did he know? “Florian wrote in one of his emails that there was an accident. I’m… I’m really sorry about your baby.”
She had never intended to tell Ben herself, but she was kind of glad in this moment that Heat had. There was nothing like seeing her son during the time when she felt most alone.
“It wasn’t meant to be.” A tear trickled down her cheek. She had repeated those words to herself over and over again in the past weeks. Maybe one day she would believe them.
Ben tapped his foot for a while and then to Melisa’s shock and delight, he shifted closer and draped an arm across her shoulders.
Melisa leaned her head against him as tears spilled from her eyes, most of them tears of joy for the moment her son was sharing with her. In the silence, she listened to him breathing, to his heart beating—the sounds she would have loved to hear when he was growing up. This was a major step. Maybe after today, he would choose to be more present in their lives and open the door to his.
Not wanting to push it, she lifted her head and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “Thank you.”
Ben cleared his throat and looked at her. “Since the day you came to Madison…and after hearing about your accident, I’ve been thinking a lot. I made a decision.”
“A decision?”
“About you and Florian.” Ben clasped his hands together and looked down at them. “I lost my mom and dad in a car accident. Hearing about your accident kind of freaked me out.”
Melisa’s heart started racing but she didn’t say anything, didn’t want to interrupt what she hoped was coming.
“I don’t want to lose you…before getting to know you. Before I met you I kind of hoped you’d be terrible people. It would have made it easier to walk away. But you’re not.” He smiled. “You’re kind of cool.”
“Are you trying to say that… that you want—”
“I was messed up when my parents died. Being without a family sucks. With no other family members alive, I thought I was all alone. Then I got your call. I want to get to know you and Florian. That’s why I’m thinking of moving to Serendipity next year, if that’s all right. I can transfer to Serendipity University.”
A lump formed inside Melisa’s throat. “There’s nothing that would make us happier, Ben. I don’t know what to say.”
“It’s okay. I like it here. I actually have a few friends in town.” Ben shifted, looking uncomfortable again. “Florian said you needed some time away to come to terms with what happened. I hope you feel better soon.”
“Thank you. I will. Thank you so much for stopping by.” Melisa wondered how much Heat and Ben had been in contact. Ben said his name so easily and casually. Maybe they’d been calling each other. Whatever the case, Melisa’s heart swelled to know they had connected.
“I’ll be going back to Madison tomorrow afternoon. Florian invited me to your place for breakfast. He thought you might like to come as well.”
“That would be wonderful.” Melisa nodded, forgetting the discomfort that being back in her home might bring. Her only child was extending an invitation to her. How could she refuse?
After Ben left, she remained on the couch for a long time with her head resting on her knees, eyes closed, listening to herself breathing. A smile spread across her face and sent warmth radiating through her whole being. It felt like balsam on her open wounds. She still couldn’t believe what had just happened. Her child was reaching out to her in her moment of darkness. She’d never even dared to allow herself to believe that he’d come back to her. She had learned the hard way that wishing and hoping was a good way to open the door to her heart and invite the hurt in.
She had hoped that as soon as she and Ben met, they’d bond and easily merge into each other’s lives. Wrong. She’d hoped she would carry her other two babies to term. Wrong again. After she thought Scott had died, in her grief, she’d wished she could somehow get a chance to say goodbye, wished she could see him one more time. She had gotten her wish, but it had come hand in hand with agony. But maybe with Ben reaching out to her, things were starting to right themselves again. Maybe it would all be okay. Miracles happened every day. Maybe Scott would be cured. Apart from the weight loss, he didn’t look like someone who was about to die.
As the day wore on, Melisa’s excitement at having breakfast with Heat and Ben turned to dread. Walking into her home after over two months of trying to stay away from it might be like rubbing salt into her still-bleeding wounds. But she couldn’t let the opportunity Ben had offered her slip through her fingers. Breakfast would be their first step at being a family.
The phone rang just as Melisa was getting ready to go meet Scott for dinner at the inn. She hoped it wasn’t him cancelling again. After he told her yesterday that he wasn’t feeling well, she wanted to make sure he was okay.
She picked up the phone with one hand and brushed her hair with the other. “Hello?”
“Baby, it’s me,” Heat’s voice sounded more alive than it had in weeks. “Did Ben come and see you?”
Melisa smiled. “Yes. Thanks for telling him where I am.”
“I wasn’t sure whether you wanted him to know what had happened, but when he showed up here I figured it would do you good to see him.”
“You did the right thing. Thanks honey.” For the first time since they lost the baby, Melisa felt close to her husband. Who would have thought that Ben would be the bond that reconnected them?
Chapter Twenty-Four
&n
bsp; Melisa had not expected to feel the way she did as she entered her home. She had expected a dagger to ram itself into her chest when she crossed the threshold. But instead an overwhelming, unexpected calm rushed over her. As if the house were welcoming her back with a hug. It was the same house she’d left weeks ago, but at the same time, it wasn’t.
Heat had changed things. As she stood near the entrance, clutching her purse, she looked at the amazing transformation. The once-white walls were painted a soft celadon green and at the entrance, and they were lined with black-and-white framed photographs of Melisa and Heat during happier times. Her heart squeezed when she detected an unfamiliar photo among the others, of Ben sitting on a motorbike, a white helmet under his arm. It looked like it was taken a while back. He looked younger and his face was wreathed in smiles.
Melisa pursed her lips to hold back the joy that overwhelmed her. Ben had chosen to become a part of their family. They had lost their baby, but they were also getting their child back.
Melisa’s gaze was still glued to Ben’s photo when she heard footsteps. She turned to see Heat standing behind her and Ben a short distance behind him.
“Welcome home. Thought it was time for a change.” Heat kissed her. “Ben and I were very busy yesterday. Do you like it?”
Melisa felt like bursting at the seams. “It’s beautiful.” She hugged Ben as well. “Thank you.”
Heat had not stopped at repainting the walls and putting up family photos; he had renovated the whole house, including the nursery. He had removed all the baby things and turned it into an office for her, complete with a new laptop on the desk, and a shelf filled with cookbooks. He had also framed and hung up photos of cakes she had baked, which she had stored on her old laptop. He had left no sign whatsoever that a baby had been expected to live there.
Melisa teased him that it was a risky move he made. It could have backfired. She could have been upset that he had erased all traces of their baby. But she wasn’t. She was moved. Besides, he hadn’t thrown anything away. He’d packed all the baby clothes and toys into a closet for her to keep for as long as she wanted to. Though she wasn’t quite ready to look in the closet yet, it comforted her to know it was there. Heat had no idea what a shift his gesture had caused within her. What he did confirmed to her that no matter how hard it got, they would always have a chance to start over.
They all prepared a large breakfast together, then settled down at the kitchen table like a family would. They talked and laughed at Ben’s jokes when he told them of his trips around the country with his rock band, The Chickens. From the way he laughed, and the little things he did, like helping Heat prepare the house for her, preparing the meal with them, or just taking a moment to refill their glasses with orange juice, Melisa knew their son had a beautiful heart. That took away some of the sting left behind from giving him up for adoption. His adoptive parents had done a fantastic job raising him, and she would forever be grateful to them.
When the lighthearted conversation came to an end, they discussed his move to Serendipity. Heat and Melisa promised him they would do everything to ensure the transition was as smooth as possible. They’d help him get into Serendipity University, and find him a small apartment. He insisted on living alone, even though they offered him a room in their home. Melisa would give up her office for him in a heartbeat.
“Thanks, but I don’t want to intrude. You need your space,” Ben said.
“Are you sure that’s all it is?” Heat said with a wink. “Are you sure it’s not you who needs the space, so the girls don’t think you’re still living at home with your parents?”
Ben chuckled, and if Melisa closed her eyes, she would have mistaken the sound for Heat’s laughter. “I choose not to dignify that question with an answer.” Ben bit into his butter-smeared slice of bread, a smile tipping the corners of his mouth. He chewed and swallowed, and then his expression grew serious. “And in case you’re thinking of helping with the rent, don’t. I plan on getting a part-time job.”
“Are you sure, Ben?” Melisa lowered her glass from her lips. “Let us at least pay until you get a job.” She wanted to do everything she could to try and make up for the past. Ben nodded.
“One month,” he said firmly. “I’ll let you pay for my first month in Serendipity. Should be long enough for me to land a job.”
“Deal,” Heat said. “I’ll see if I can get you something part time at the station if you want. But there’s something else that’s nonnegotiable.” Heat leaned forward like a dad having a heart-to-heart with his son. “We are paying for your education.”
Ben’s eyes widened. “Are you sure? I was going to apply for a scholarship. My grades are good. My…parents also left me some money.”
“Use that money to start a life after college. This is not up for discussion.”
“I appreciate your offer, but—”
“It’s the least we can do,” Melisa said, smiling. After meeting Ben for the first time, Melisa and Heat had decided that if they were ever presented with the opportunity to invest in Ben’s future, they would grab it with both hands. They would scrape up the money, even if they had to take out a loan.
“How about I still go ahead and apply for a scholarship, and if I get it, the deal’s off?” Ben stacked their dirty dishes on top of each other.
The conversation moved away from money, and Melisa leaned her elbows on the table as she watched her family move on to other topics—sports, cars, music, movies. Her heart had been battered, but it was a relief to find out it was still capable of feeling happiness.
After breakfast, Ben hopped onto his bike and drove away while Heat and Melisa stood on the doorstep like parents watching their kid heading off to college.
Melisa was still smiling when Heat took her hand and squeezed it. “You’re not going back to the hotel immediately, are you? I thought maybe we could sit and talk for a while?”
Melisa tipped her head back to look up at him. “That would be nice.” She would spend maybe another hour with him and not think of anything else. Not even Scott. Heat had done his part, now it was her turn to try and repair their marriage.
They went back inside the house, still hand in hand, and sat in the living room with cups of coffee.
For a while they talked about things that didn’t hurt and just enjoyed each other’s company. Melisa couldn’t believe how much she’d missed him. It had been so hard to get back to each other after everything that had happened, but she felt that Ben had opened her eyes. Finally she saw what she would be risking if she didn’t pull herself together.
Melisa put down her cup and leaned over to kiss Heat.
As soon as their lips met, Heat jerked back as if he’d been burned, and his eyes widened. He hadn’t expected this much affection.
Melisa’s heart bled as she watched a tiny smile form on his face. She had hurt him. She wanted to make it better. He was the love of her life and nothing was ever going to change that.
This time it was Heat who leaned toward her. He started the kiss slow, treading carefully. Finding no resistance on her part, he deepened it, exploring her mouth with his tongue, accepting what she was offering him, what he hadn’t been sure he’d ever get back. “I missed you so much,” he whispered against her lips. “I. Missed. You.” He moved the kiss to her neck and inhaled her scent.
“I missed you too.” She closed her eyes and allowed her body to melt under his touch. She opened them again. “Stop,” she said and stood.
Heat searched her face in confusion. “I thought…”
“You thought right.” Melisa smiled and extended her hand to him. He took it and she led him to their bedroom.
Standing next to their bed, they started kissing again, and peeling their clothing off each other. Too many things had stood in their way—they wanted to get rid of them, starting with their clothes.
Fully naked, they stood in the middle of the room holding each other. Then Heat lowered Melisa onto the bed. A voice inside her head wan
ted her to feel self-conscious about her body being far from perfect after the pregnancy, but she didn’t listen. Heat didn’t seem to care. He loved her and she felt comfortable with him in every way.
“You’re so beautiful.” His gaze traced the lines of her body. “I need you.”
“I need you too.” Melisa pulled him down on top of her and opened her legs, and Heat accepted her invitation; he positioned himself between her legs, looking into her face, and glided his cock into her. He lay on top of her, supporting his own weight with his arms on either side of her body. “Are you okay?” he asked. “Am I hurting you?”
It was uncomfortable at first, but as she felt him throb inside her, she felt so aroused and didn’t want him to stop. She wanted him so much, wanted to be one again, as they were meant to be. “No, I want more.” Without knowing how she had done it, Melisa made a swift move that flipped them around and landed her on top of Heat instead of the other way around. She wanted to ride him, to give him back everything they had almost lost. She threw back her head, her hair spilling down her back, as she swayed and gyrated on top of him, making sure she felt every inch of him. He filled more than her body. He brought her back to life in so many ways, and she never wanted to live without him. She leaned forward and kissed him passionately. He returned her kiss with a hunger she had never seen in him before. As they kissed, his hands traveled to her ass and squeezed it, then he lowered her over him, gently at first, and then picked up the pace. Eventually he let out a deep-throated sound and she screamed out as the ball of orgasm he’d built inside her burst.
Both satisfied, she collapsed on top of him and laid her head on his chest.
Heat wrapped his arms around her and didn’t attempt to slide out of her. They stayed like that for a long time, and then they started kissing again.
For the rest of the day, they hardly left the bedroom. Melisa lost count of how many times they’d made love. Later in the afternoon, Heat cooked both of them lunch, which they ate naked in bed. When they were done, he asked her if she wanted to stay the night. She declined, but promised she’d return home in a few days. For good. Whatever issues she still had to deal with, she would deal with at home, where she belonged.
