“Hmmm.” Cory looked as though she might say something else, but in the end, she only shook her head a little. “Well, make yourself at home. And I hope you won’t be a stranger, even once you’re settled here in town. We need more appreciators of libraries in this world.”
I stayed at the library until it was nearly four o’clock, and then, with no little reluctance, I thanked Cory for her kindness and began to wend my way back to the apartment. Trent’s pickup was nowhere in sight, and there was no way in hell I was going back inside before he came home. I dropped onto the cement step, shifted against the chill of it, and waited.
Not five minutes later, the old truck rambled down the road and came to a halt at the curb in front of me. My eyes followed Trent’s movement from the driver’s seat and around the front bumper. He slowed as he caught sight of me, and I heard his sigh. Without missing a beat, he sank down next to me, mirroring my position with his elbows on his knees.
“The fact that you’re sitting out here says my mom was driving you crazy, huh?”
I slid him a sideways glance. “I’m sitting out here because I didn’t want to go back inside before you got here. I spent the day at the library.”
“The library?” Faint surprise tinged his voice. “You’ve been there all day?”
“Yup.” I stared out into the street. “I met Cory Evans. She’s really nice.”
Trent stiffened just a little. “Mrs. Evans . . . yeah, she is. I know a couple of her kids.”
“She said you used to play soccer with her son.” I played with a string from the hem of my jeans.
“She did? Oh, um, yeah. Long time ago.” His tone was cautious, tentative. “Did she say anything else?”
I lifted my shoulder. “No, not really. She mostly talked about her kids and her grandchildren, and how she knows Meghan and Jude. Oh, and she filled me in on some other stuff in the town, like who’s related to who. Not that I’m ever going to remember it, since she wouldn’t let me take notes.”
He laughed then, a genuine chuckle that made my heart skip. “That sounds about right. And lately, Crystal Cove is all wrapped up in that, too. Now that Meghan’s up here, and Alex—that’s Alex Nelson, he was in my class, too—he and his boyfriend moved down to the Cove last fall to run the bed and breakfast.”
“I know Alex and Cal. I’d forgotten that they were from Burton.”
“Well, Alex is, originally. He grew up on a farm outside town, next to Sam and Ali Reynolds. I don’t know where his boyfriend is from, though. Not here.”
“Hmm.” I twisted a little to face Trent. “And now here I am. One more Cove connection?”
“I guess.” Trent moved a little, as though he were trying to maintain distance from me.
Silence stretched between us. I was waiting for him to say something, anything that might give me some insight into why he was here, in the hometown he’d sworn he never wanted to see again. Why he’d left me without warning or explanation.
But he didn’t speak. His gaze was fastened on some spot just beyond the sidewalk, his mouth tight and his eyes shuttered again.
“I know this is my apartment.” I blurted out the first thing that crossed my mind, even though it wasn’t at all what I wanted to say. Trent frowned, the corners of his mouth curling slightly. I should have stopped there, but instead the words came tumbling past my lips. “This is the place I arranged to rent when I bought the practice. I paid a deposit on it. And you just waltzed in and took it? How did that happen?”
Trent closed his eyes, and steepling his fingers, he pressed them against his forehead. “I know. I didn’t think you’d end up coming to Burton once I—well, after. I figured you’d change your mind and stay in the Cove, or go somewhere else. And I was going to pay you back for the deposit. I’ve been saving it up, a little each week. I can give you what I have so far.”
“I don’t want your money.” I knew I sounded like a petulant child, but I didn’t give a damn. “What I want is an explanation. And a place to live that doesn’t come with a mean old lady who hates me.”
He huffed out a laugh, shaking his head. “Yeah, I’d like that, too. To live without my mom, I mean.”
“How did this happen, Trent?” I worked hard to keep my tone softer, less accusatory. “I know we argued, and I know I was stupid in making the plans without checking with you—but I didn’t think it was so bad you’d leave.”
“It wasn’t. I mean—” He blew out a long breath and raked one hand through his hair. “Elizabeth, I was stupid. I was an idiot to think I could be good enough for you. Over Christmas, all during that time, it was okay, because it was almost like we were living in a bubble. We were together, we didn’t have to deal with the real world, and it was okay. But then you went back to work, and I was sitting at your apartment all day, nothing to do, no job, no plans. And even then, we maybe would’ve been okay. If it wasn’t . . .” His jaw clenched.
“It was me, wasn’t it? I just thought you missed being in Burton. You talked about this place like it was a perfect hometown. I thought I was doing a good thing. When I saw that partnership for sale pop up on my alumni page, it seemed like it was kismet, you know?”
“It wasn’t you. At least, not the way you think. Yeah, I was kind of pissed about the whole Burton thing, because this town? Last place I wanted to live again.” His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “But that night, after we fought . . . I was out on the sofa, just brooding. Being stupid. I was just about to head into the bedroom, tell you I was sorry for exploding that way, when Nolan called.”
“Your uncle?” I frowned. “What did he want?”
“He called because there wasn’t anyone else but me. He’s still my mother’s emergency contact, and when she was arrested, they called him. He was back up in Michigan, and I was closer, so it made sense for me to be the one to bail her out.”
The pieces were falling into place. “That’s why you left? Because your mother was in trouble, and you went to take care of her? Why the hell didn’t you just tell me that?”
Trent’s shoulders stiffened. “Because you don’t need to deal with my shit. When Nolan told me what she’d done, I knew I was right—I’m no good for you. I’m only going to drag you down, Elizabeth. We were fools to think it could work between us. We’re too different.”
My stomach clenched, and I struggled to hold back the sob that wanted to rise. “So you just made that decision for me. No checking to see if I felt the same way. No explanation. You just left. You took off, and the only thing you gave me was a text that said this wasn’t going to work out. And I was supposed to be okay with that.”
“It was for the best.” His tone was measured and neutral. “I figured you’d get mad, but then you’d get over it. And you’d do what was best for you. Maybe get a job in a city where you could meet people like you. I expected I’d get a letter from you one day, asking me to sign divorce papers or whatever, so you could get married again, for real.”
“Oh, really? And just where did you think I’d send those divorce papers, Trent? I had no fucking idea where you’d gone, remember? I texted you, I called, and you never answered me. I guess when I met this imaginary man and decided I wanted to get married, I’d have to hire a private detective to track you down. Thanks so much.”
“I didn’t have much choice.” He gripped the edge of the steps. “And I didn’t mean to take the apartment, either. I got here, got my mother out of jail, and I planned to get the hell out of town right after that. But then I found out the situation was a little more complicated than I’d thought.”
I waved my hand. “Oh, do go on.”
Trent rolled his eyes, but he kept talking. “When I got to the courthouse, the judge and prosecutor took me aside. They said with a habitual offender like my mother, they tended to look the other way as long as she had someone looking after her, someone in town who took responsibility for her. But since I’d left, and given the nature of these new charges—”
“What were the n
ew charges?” I interrupted him, curious and yet dreading his answer at the same time. I was thinking she’d hit someone while driving drunk, or maybe robbed a liquor store.
Trent looked pained, but he went on nonetheless. “She was arrested for solicitation. Someone saw her on the street corner between Kenny’s Diner and the Catholic Church, stopping men and offering her . . . services.”
“Oh, my God.” I understood now why he hadn’t wanted to say it. “God, Trent. I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, she sank to a new low, even for her. But anyway, since she wasn’t just walking around sloshed or whatever, and since I’d left Burton, the prosecutor told me they were going to press charges against her. She’d end up going to the county prison, and with her record, even though nothing had ever been done before, it probably would’ve been for at least a year.” He turned his head to meet my eyes, and I saw in them both deep pain and defeat. “I couldn’t just turn my back on her and let that happen. I know I’m a sap. I know it sounds crazy. But I had to do whatever I could, even if she’d never given a shit about me.”
“So that meant you had to move back to Burton?” I could see it more clearly, why he’d come back.
“Well, yeah. But there was more. The judge told me about this program. It’s a private rehabilitation place north of Atlanta, and it costs a shit-load of money. But there’s a sort of scholarship deal the state offers for hardship cases, like my mom. The biggest requirement is that there has to be a . . .” He cast his eyes upward, as though the words were printed on the clouds above us. “‘A demonstrable and dependable support system in place before and after the client participates in the program.’ Judge Roony and the prosecutor told me they’d recommend my mother if I could keep her out of trouble for four months.”
“Four months.” One hundred and twenty days. After meeting Trent’s mother, I could imagine what a daunting task that was. “Of course, you said you’d do it.”
“Yeah, I did.” He had the grace to look a little ashamed. “I had to have a place to bring her back to, a steady place to live. After I graduated high school, I didn’t have my own place. I lived out at the farms in their bunkhouses, or I rented a room in town when I was working at the hardware store. My mother’d been taking rooms wherever she could get them. So I started looking around, asking around, and someone told me the only place empty was this one.” He slid me a guilty grimace. “I called the landlady—she doesn’t live in town—and I told her I was your husband and I’d come to town a little earlier than we expected. She had the management company give me the key. I’ve been paying the rent and the utilities.”
“Oh, thanks, so good of you to do that.” I couldn’t help the sarcasm. “I mean, nice to know I don’t owe back-rent on the apartment I haven’t even been living in.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “Did you look for some other place to live? Or did you plan on just squatting here indefinitely? I guess me showing up really is putting a kink in your plans.”
Trent ignored my last jab. “I looked at the beginning, but there isn’t any other apartment available. Burton isn’t exactly a real estate mecca. And if we moved now, it would put my mom back to square one—she has to maintain the same address for four months, or she’s disqualified.”
I felt the walls of inevitability closing in on me. “There’s got to be some place else.” I took a deep breath, willing away the sense of claustrophobia. “I’ll look for somewhere I can live. You and your mother can keep this place, since you’re here already and she needs it. I can find a house to rent or something. Even if there’s no other apartments in town, I can always drive in from the country.”
Trent was shaking his head before I even finished. “I called the management company today and the real estate office, too. They said there’s nothing available for rent for at least six months, and what’s more, there’s not really anything for sale in town, either. Most of the houses hereabouts are sold as soon as they’re available. So unless you’re willing to pay a couple hundred grand for a six-bedroom farm house twenty minutes from town, you’re out of luck.”
“So what the hell am I supposed to do now?” Panic seeped into my voice.
Trent cleared his throat and gripped his denim-covered knees. “You could just stay here.”
Before I could open my mouth to respond, he went on, in a rush. “I know it’s not the best plan. But I can’t think of anything else. I’ll sleep on the sofa, and you can have the bedroom. I’ll do everything I can to keep my mother out of your way.” He looked at me again, this time his gaze pleading. “I know I don’t have any right to ask you for anything, Elizabeth. But I am anyway. For my mother’s sake. Please.”
I stared at him for the space of several heartbeats. This man, this beautiful, broken man, had just about destroyed me when he’d left. And now he was begging for me to do him this favor—not for himself, no; I suspected he’d never ask me for anything for himself—but for his mother, the woman who’d abandoned him, probably abused him emotionally if not verbally or physically, and who’d never shown herself capable of caring.
“I know it doesn’t make any sense.” As though I’d spoken aloud, Trent answered my thoughts. “What has she ever done for me? Not a damn thing but make me miserable. But see, Elizabeth, I don’t want to be like her. If I turn my back on her when she needs me, I’m no better than she is. I’m just the same. And I won’t be that.”
There was steely determination in his tone, and I knew he wouldn’t be moved. He’d do everything possible for his mother, even if it meant giving up his own chance at happiness. And God help me, I was still so in love with him that I couldn’t sabotage his efforts, even when I knew we’d lost our own shot at happily-ever-after.
I nodded my head. “Okay, Trent. We’ll try it your way. For now.”
Relief flooded his face, and he reached across to grip my hand. “Thank you, Elizabeth. I promise, I’ll make it work.”
Staring out into the dimming light, I swallowed. “Trent, I don’t want to tell anyone—about us.” I saw his wince of hurt and hurried to explain. “Not for me, but for you. Your mother said some stuff this morning, and I don’t want other people jumping to the same conclusions about why we—well, why we got married. If we’re not going to be together, there’s no reason to make a big deal out of it, right?”
He was silent for a moment. “Sure. You’re probably right. We’ll get through these next three months, and then the minute she’s in the rehab program, I’ll figure something out. Don’t worry, Elizabeth. You won’t regret this. I’ll make sure of it.”
But he was wrong, because I already knew I was making a huge mistake.
WHEN I’D GOTTEN BACK TO Burton and realized I was going to be staying awhile in the apartment that wasn’t even rightfully mine, I’d driven over to Farleyville to get some cheap furniture. Nothing too fancy; I bought beds and simple dressers for my mom and for me, a coffee table and a sofa. The latter had been a really good deal, since the stuffing had seen better decades and the fabric was faded nearly into nothingness. At the time, I’d congratulated myself on how little I’d paid.
Tonight, I was wishing I’d shelled over a few extra of my precious bucks to get something with a little more support, a little more cushioning and maybe even a pull-out real boy bed. Every time I moved, the wood of the sofa’s frame jabbed into another part of my body. My feet stuck up over the arm opposite my head, and the pins and needles I felt warned me they were falling asleep faster than I was. And close up, with my nose near the material, there was a distinctive odor that spoke of every body that had ever sat here, every meal prepared near this couch and maybe even a few assorted animals who’d snoozed on the cushion. I rolled onto my back and took a cleansing breath.
I knew I didn’t have any right to complain. Elizabeth hadn’t kicked my worthless ass out of the apartment I’d stolen from her. She’d been quiet while we drove out to the Road Block to retrieve her car, and once we’d gotten back to the apartment, she’d ignored my mother’s jabs while w
e ate take-out from Franco’s Pizza. As soon as she finished her salad and slice, Elizabeth had stood up, wished me a terse good-night and then disappeared into the bedroom that used to be mine.
I’d hauled a couple of suitcases into that bedroom earlier, so I figured she was probably unpacking. But she didn’t come out, even after my mom stomped down the hall to her own room. Finally, I’d shucked off my jeans, yanked an old threadbare afghan from the back of the couch and settled onto what passed for cushions.
It felt a little surreal to be under the same roof as Elizabeth again. I remembered the last time we’d been together. She’d come home from work with Chinese food, and we’d eaten it in bed, while she giggled and told me about her friend Abby who had a strict policy about always eating Chinese leftovers under the covers. I’d accidentally on purpose spilled a little duck sauce between her boobs, which had led to me licking it off, which had led to me licking even more of her smooth and warm skin . . . which had led to lots more action with tongues, hands and—and shit, I was hard just thinking about that night.
We’d been good together, while it worked. When we’d first met, I’d thought she was a crazy, flighty lawyer, one of those career women who had more degrees than common sense. And then she’d come onto me, making it very clear that she’d be interested in hooking up. I was pretty sure she saw me as the perfect one-night stand: I was the guy selling Christmas trees in the parking lot of her office building, the guy who’d be gone in a few weeks.
If she’d made me that not-so-subtle offer a year before, I’d have jumped on it—and her. But after what had happened with Jenna Sutton, I’d changed. I’d made a vow to swear off casual encounters with women. As long as I’d worked for my uncle Nolan up in Michigan, I’d been celibate, keeping to myself and avoiding any situation that might lead to what I’d begun to think of as trouble. Women meant trouble in my mind. I’d spent years having fun without any consequences, and now I’d learned my lesson the hard way.
Always My Own (Always Love Trilogy #2) Page 6
