Guilty! The Trials of Phil Ferguson

by Sean Russell

  “Don’tdoitPhil!Youdrunknowandyougunbeshameinthemorningifyou

  dowhatyouplantodo.”Philhesitated.

  “Getinandlehwerollfromhereman.”Teddypleaded.

  Philcomplied.Heshutthedoor,startedthecarandwasmakinghiswaytoturn the car around. Just in the periphery of his vision he sensed movement and a fraction of a second later he was aware of the cause. Derek had a rock in his hand set to smash Phil’s face through the car window. The searing pain in his head,thedullingofhismoralsaberbythealcoholandfinallythefrustrationof not ending this annoyance, combined with the immediate threat to his safety, placedPhilinthezonewherehisbasalinstinctscommandedhim.Hewasgoing

  to end this nonsense once and for all. He was going to run over Derek and squash him like one squashes a filthy roach when one finally catches it. He gunnedtheengineandswervedtowardshisprey.Derekdidnotfactorforthis, the realisation of his own mortality. The reality evaporated Derek’s irrational thought process as he stared wide-eyed into the dull headlight beams quickly encroaching on his personal space. His only thoughts were his life flashing beforehimashesawitsterminationquicklyapproaching.

  Suddenly there was a loud crash as metal violently met concrete. It was a stalemate.Boththecarandthewalldemonstratedobviousdamage.Thecarwas

  capable of being driven home, albeit in a sadder condition before its last encounter,butthegoodnewswasthattherewasnoboneandsinewinthemix.

  Teddyhadmanagedtodragthewheelintimeforthecar,thenPhil’smissile,to missDerek.

  Derek experienced the embarrassing involuntary release of those sphincters whichkepthimcontinent.

  On realization of this, he scampered into hiding, not wanting anyone to report thathehadshitandpissedhimself.

  Phil was sobered by the violent impact. Fortunately neither he nor Teddy were injured. The only thing that was injured was Phil’s pride. He held himself to

  higherstandardsofbehaviourandthislapsecouldhavecostsomeone’slife,Phil his freedom, and Phil’s family their reputation. Phil swore to himself that he wouldneverexecutethislackofjudgmentagain.Healsosworetohaveonlyone glassofalcoholatanysitting,thatglassbeingthelubricantthatfacilitatedsocial intercourse.

  He sat there breathing hard for minutes. Teddy gave him some time before exchangingseatsanddrivingthecarhome,droppingPhiltohisdomicilefirst.

  Noonewitnessedthevehicularhomicideattempt.

  TeddykeptthesecretandPhilnevermentioneditagainexcepttoexpressavery sincereapologyandthanks,andtopaytofixthecar.

  Teddythoughtitwasasmalldepositinhisownaccountofgratitudethathehad for Phil. Phil was unaware of how profoundly he had influenced Teddy’s life, anditwasjustPhilbeingwhohewas.Theyweremuchyoungerthen.

  Ithappenedonahotsummerafternoon.Thesunwassobrightthatitforcedyou toscrewyoureyesclosedassoonasyousteppedoutside.Withitcametheheat, thetypethatpenetratedyourskinandburnedwithapurposethatleftastingin the soft tissue underneath. It shimmered in visible waves just inches above the road. The sky was a brilliant blue with few clouds to render relief from the blisteringsun.Italsowasastillday—notabreezetoquenchthescorchingheat.

  This did not stop the collection of boys from Teddy’s street playing a game of cricketinthedesertedlotseveralhousesdownfromwhereTeddylived.

  Closeasitwastohishome,Teddywasn’tplaying.Itwasnotasifhedidn’twant to play, or was afraid of sunburn. In fact, Teddy loved the game and often entertaineddreamsofbeingontheonceworld-dominantWestIndiesteamwhen

  hegotolder.

  However, he wasn’t getting any practice. The boys refused to let him play. He was considered a liability: too many dropped catches, too many beamers with resulting body blows to the unfortunate candidates who happened to batting whenhetriedtobowl,andtoomanyone-ballinningswhenhewaseithercaught orbowledbythefirstballwhenhetriedtobat.

  Hewasuselessasfarasneighbourhoodboyswereconcerned.Itwasn’tasifhis appearanceatthetimehelped.Teddywasabitportlythen,wearingoldschool

  clothesthatweretoosmallandhenceemphasizedhisungainliness.ButTeddy’s realproblemwasthathewasverynervousandlackedconfidence.Unknownto

  hisfather,abandonedbyhismother,andleftinhisgrandmother’scare,hewas notthemostwantedchild.Hisoldcaretaker’sgreatestneedforhimwastorun totheshoptofetchabottleofwhiterumandaboxofcigarettesforher.Hedid notknowself-beliefnorself-worth.

  OnthathotsummerdayTeddywas‘ontheboundary’,justnexttothepaling,the fewgalvanizedsheetswhichseparatedtheemptylotfromthehousenexttoit.

  Teddyblocked,fetchedandreturnedballstothestumpsasbesthecould.Hewas soakinginsweatandtherewereskidmarksofdirtalonghistattered,ill-fitting shirt and pants. There was one problem, however, no one had picked Teddy to play.

  Philgotout.Everyoneelsehadbattedalready,anditwasrightfullyTeddy’sturn tobat.Heapproachedthewickettoclaimhisright,butasPhilhandedhimthe battheotherboysprotested.

  “Hecan’tbat!Heentplayin’withnobody.”Shoutedseveralboys.

  “Hestoodandfieldedallday,youcan’tdothattotheman.Youallactinglike thisistestcricket.Wejusthavingfun.”Philreplied.

  Teddywaslookinghesitantandwasreadytoretreat.Hehadbeenexpelledmany timesbefore,butPhilstoodinhisway.

  “Heentplayin’!He’sanuisance,abarewasteoftime!”Shoutedthebiggestof theboys.

  Philwasincensed.Thiswaswrong.

  “If he ent playing, no cricket playing here today!!” Two of the bigger boys steppedforwardtoretrievethebat,butPhildidn’tbackdown.Itwasastand-off.

  ItwasjustthenthatEgbertNorville,theoldmanwholivednextdoorandwho lovedtowatchtheboysplay,shoutedatthem.

  “Comeonboys,playthedamncricket!Yougunwastetimeoverfoolishness?He

  gungetoutoneballanyhow.”

  The boys backed down and Teddy batted, and as if to vindicate himself, he hit theballallovertheplace.

  Itwastwentyminutesbeforehegotout.

  Teddywaselatedandshocked.Neverbeforeinhislifehadanyonestoodupfor him. Never had anyone allowed him to feel that he was anything more than annoyancetobetolerated.Hisworldwasturnedupsidedown.Itwasfromthat

  day that Teddy began to believe in himself and fight for his own rights. It changed his life. Teddy embarked on a revolution that resulted in the Teddy presentnow.HealwaysrememberedthatPhil’sactionwastheturningpointin

  hislifeandhewouldalwayshavePhil’sback.

  Whenhefinishedschool,TeddyfoundhiswaytotheUnitedStatesofAmerica.

  Hebythenfeltclaustrophobicwithhishome,havingnevertraveledoverseasin hislife.HedidnothavethemeanstoaffordaneducationataNorthAmerican university, but he decided that he must have an education in the U.S.

  nonetheless.Itdidnothavetobeformal.Hemanagedtoconvinceacousintolet himstayforafewweeks’holidayandthathewasgoingtopayhisway.

  Teddyhadawaywithnumbersandbecamefascinatedwiththestockmarket.He

  spent all his time studying the market and the companies he thought had potential.Ashewasunemployed,thatwasaconsiderableamountoftime.Teddy was ostensibly a student at community college, the cheapest place of higher
learning he could find. He didn’t attend any classes and consequently failed a number of his subjects. Many of his classmates wondered why he just didn’t give up. He clearly wasn’t interested. They didn’t understand that Teddy had a plan. By the time he finally graduated—he did graduate after seven years, exhausting most of the courses offered at the school—Teddy had a portfolio rivaling any Wall Street guru. He would never have to work for anyone in his life.Hehadtoanswertonoman,andhecoulddrinkhisdrinksashepleased.He placedhismoneyintheUnitedStates,London,Grenada,St.Luciaandofcourse Barbados,intheformofrealestateandcash.

  Helovedtheoldchattelhousewherehelivedforseveralreasons.Itwascheap tomaintain,itdrewlittleattentionanditremindedhimofhowfarhehadcome.

  Mostofall,hewasverycomfortablethere.Hekneweveryone,everyonearound

  knew him, and he pretty much did as he pleased with no disturbance from anyone.

  CHAPTERTHIRTY-EIGHT

  Jimmygainedconsciousnesswithhisanusonfire.

  Itfeltasifitwastorn.Howthefuckwashegoingtoexplainthistohisdoctor, oranydoctorforthatmatter?

  The intensity of that burn was dwarfed by that of the burn in his heart for revenge.ItneveroccurredtohimthatthiswashowJademusthavefeltonlya fewdaysearlier.Itneveroccurredtohimthiswashowsomanypeoplefeltafter he had unscrupulously raped them. It never occurred to him that this could be payback.No.

  Jimmy’sminddidn’tworkthatway.ItonlyoperatedonwhatJimmywantedand

  what Jimmy felt. It did not extend far enough to be concerned with another humanbeing.AllJimmycouldthinkofwasrevenge.

  Amanda and Jackie would pay. If Jimmy was sure of one thing, it was that. It hadbecomehissolemissionandhehadalltheresourcestoensurehewouldbe successful.Healwayswas.

  Helookedaroundandsurveyedhissurroundings.

  He was in the same place where the heinous event occurred. The 46-inch flat screenTVcaughthiseye.

  Itwasn’tthemonitorthatcaughthisattention,hehadbiggeronesathome.The imagesdisplayedonthescreen,however,sethimthirtythousandfeetabovethe ground at the controls of a plane caught in a tailspin which was irrecoverable, thecrashinevitable.

  As revolted as he was, Jimmy stared at the screen mesmerised, his stomach churning as if it contained a concrete mixer. Jimmy willed himself to suspend belief, but he knew better. The monitor which had him transfixed dispossessed himofanynotionthathecoulddenythepreviousnight’stransgressions.

  Itwasinclear,livingcolourandhighdefinition.

  Jimmy Cadogan was in a most demeaning pose, on the receiving end of a

  sodomy. The details were plain to see. The director of this tragic flick knew wherethecameraswereandusedthemtofulleffect.Therecordingwaslooped

  and the act was displayed over and over ad nauseam. Jimmy was properly screwed.

  Hefinallyfoundthestrengthtobreakthehypnoticspell.HeseizedtheTVand threwittothefloor.Tohisdismay,itdidnotshatterintoamillionpieceslikehe thoughtitwould.Instead,thedisplaycracked,butitwasstillpluggedinandsoit continuedtoprojectJimmy’smosthumiliatingmoments.Jimmystompedonthe

  screen until it broke and the images were no longer recognizable. By then the brokenshardsofglasshadslicedhisfeetinseveralplaces.Hewastoonumbto feel the pain or notice the blood coming from his feet. Somehow the message alert on his phone caught his attention. He walked over to his pants where the phonewasclippedtohisbelt.TherewasatextmessagefromAmanda.Heread

  it.

  ‘ Dear Jimmy, we want to thank you for a really good time. I know this may soundcorny,butshould anythinghappentoJackieormyself,beassuredthat our homevideoWILLbeasubjectofpublicknowledge.

  Amanda. ’

  TherewasanothertextwiththecontactnumbersofsomeofJimmy’simportant

  associates,manyofwhomwereasvocallyhomophobicasJimmywas.

  CHAPTERTHIRTY-NINE

  Phil was at home. It was eight in the morning. He had returned home an hour earlier.Jadehadwantedtodrillhim,butherhusband’sbodylanguagetoldher not to. He was a frenzy of activity; working on the computer, running through hispersonalfiles,onthephonewithhisdadanduncle.FinallyJadecouldhold hertonguenolonger.

  “What’sgoingonPhil?”

  “Whatdoyoumeanwhat’sgoingon?YouknowJade,I’mabouttogoontrial

  fortryingtokillyou!”Philwasclearlyagitated.Jadetookastepback.

  “Philyou’reactingasifit’smyfault.”PhilsawthatJadewasalittlehurt.

  “No,it’snotyou.I’munderalotofpressuretodealwiththistrial.”

  “Seems to me that you are more interested in finding a large sum of money.

  WhatareyougettingyourselfintoPhil?”

  “Leaveitalone,Jade.IknowwhatI’mdoing.”

  “Phil,IknowTeddyisyourfriend,butyou’vegottobecarefulaboutadviceyou getfromhim.Heisalittlecrazyyouknow.”

  “Jade,he’sagoodfriend.Hestoppedmefromkillingyou.”

  “What!!!” Jade put a hand on her forehead in disbelief. “You actually thought aboutit??Andyouverbalizedittoanotherhumanbeing?Andyourcrazyfriend Teddyofallpeople?”

  PhilsteppedclosetoJadeandtriedtohugher.

  She pushed him off forcibly. Her temperature was rising by the second as realizationofPhil’swordssunkin.Shestartedtopummelonhischest,butshe wasn’t inflicting enough pain. If he wanted to kill her, she wanted to kill him.

  ThepainofJimmy’srapeandtheaccidentthatnearlytookherlifewerePhil’s faultandheactuallywantedtokillher.Allherpentupemotionsclimaxedatthat moment.Shelostit.

  “Youshit!Youcheatedandyouwantedtokillme!

  Ifuckinghateyou!”Sheshrieked.

  Philwastotallyflummoxed.HehadneverseenJadesoangry.Thatwasthelast thingheregistered.

  Jade,inherrage,tookalampandlauncheditacrossPhil’shead.Itknockedhim unconsciousforaboutaminute.

  Shestoodoverhim,watchinghimhelplessonthefloor,bloodtricklingfromthe smallgashonthesideofhisfacewherethelampbrokehisskin.

  Theappearanceofhimmotionlessandbleedingdefusedherrage.Hebecamea

  humanbeingthatwasvulnerableandintroubleinsteadoftheloathsomeperson he was in her eyes just moments before. She helped him into a sitting position andstartedmoppingthebloodfromhisfacewithherblouse.Theysatquietlyon the floor as Phil gathered himself. Jade was crying. He could not believe what hadjusthappened,buthewastoodazedandtoooverwhelmedtoreact.

  Hetriedtoclearhishead.

  Jadewasstrokinghisfacegently.

  “I’mso,sosorry.Ican’tbelieveIhityou.Iamreallysorry.”

  Herfacereflectedthepainshehadinflictedonherhusband.

  “I couldn’t believe what you just said, I was shocked and I reacted. I’ve been throughalot.”Shenoticedbloodseepingthroughherimprovisedbandage.“But thenagainsohaveyou.PhilI’monyourside,pleasebelieveme,Idon’twant youtomakethingsworse.”

  “IamtrulysorrytooJade,butthatwasthen.

  Let’sleaveitthere.Idon’thavethetimetofocusonanythingexceptwhatI’m doingnow.”

  “Whateveritis,it’swrong.OtherwiseIwouldbehelpingyouwithit.”

  Theyseparatednow.Phillookedatherpleadin
glyasherosetohisfeet.

  “Jadeplease...”

  “PleasePhil,youaregoingdownthewrongroad.

  Whateveryou’redoingiswrong,don’tdoit.It’sgoingtohauntyou,Iknowit will.Youhavetodothingstherightway.”

  Philsnapped.

  “I’vealwaysdonethingstherightwayandwhathasitgottenme?This!!Losing my practice, public humiliation, a broken leg, almost losing you. Is that the rewardfordoingtherightthing?”

  “Lifehasawayoftestingpeople,Phil.Everyonegetstestedinonewayorthe other.Howyourespondshowsthekindofindividualyouarewhatyouarereally made of. There’s no shortcut, no easy way through unless you are a Jimmy Cadogan. Phil Ferguson is an honest, hard-working man. A loving man full of integrity.HeismypartnerandIwillgototheendoftheworldandbeyondfor him. I will fight until the last breath escapes my body to be at his side and overcomeanyoneoranythingthatstandsinthewayofhimbeingthatmanand

  continuinghispathofsharingthegoodthathehastosharetoeveryonearound him.”

  PhilwasawestruckbytheimpactofJade’swords.

  “Ihavenointerestinbeingwithanyotherman.AreyoustillPhilFergusonor areyouapunkimitation?

  Let me know, because if you are not the real deal, I am out of your life with immediate effect.” Phil strode over to his desk. He ignored the files strewn acrossitspolishedmahoganysurface.Hewasonhisphonedialing.

  “HiMitchell.IknowImustseemlikeagiddyheadedteenagerafterpostponing thismorning’smeeting,butI’llbehonestwithyou.I’mgoingthroughhellandI don’tknowmyownmindrightnow.Ineedyourhelp.

  Ineed to meetyou as soonas possible. I’ll makeit back upto you, I promise.

  Ten-thirty?Youroffice?

  Fine,seeyouthen.Thanks.Bye.”

  Jadesmiled.SheputherarmsaroundPhil’sneck.

  “I love you, Phil Ferguson. You are a phenomenal man and I’m going to help youbeatthisthingfairandsquare.Let’sdigourheelsinandfighttogether.”