“You’re so fucking beautiful.” I close my eyes and drop my head against the pillow. I’m in dangerous territory. My heart is begging for more. I’m only going to end up hurt. I know it. But I want it. I want him. I need him.
I open my eyes and find him shirtless, his ripped abs and corded muscles enhanced by the shadows in the dark. His hands grip my hips before traveling up my belly, his thumbs pulling my shirt. I lift my back and let him pull the shirt over my head, baring myself to him. His mouth immediately comes down as he sucks a nipple into his mouth and palms my other breast. His hot tongue massages my hardened peak and my back arches, pushing more of myself into him.
His deft fingers twist my other nipple. The hot sensation is directly linked to my clit. A whimper escapes me. I brush my heat against his hard cock. Too much fabric between us. I need more. My heels dig into the mattress, needing more friction. His teeth bite down gently as he pulls away from me. His grasp on the other breast becomes nearly violent as he pulls back, giving a hint of pain that only adds to the intense pleasure. A wave of heat travels down my body.
His other hand steadies my hip, and then I hear a tear and feel the pull of the lace fabric against my skin.
I force my eyes open as his fingers slip through my slick folds. His broad shoulders and heated gaze portray him as a man of sheer dominance and lust. He stares deep into my eyes as his fingers dip into my heat and his thumb presses against my clit.
My body shudders beneath the pleasure of his touch. His fingers pump in and out of me relentlessly, and his thumb pushes down harder. A tingle of heat travels through every limb in an instant and I convulse underneath him, held down only by the weight of his hand splayed on my hip. I hold in my scream, opening my mouth and throwing my head back. The sheer intensity of my orgasm nearly paralyzes my body. My body goes limp with pleasure, and I finally breathe.
Dom’s lips take mine with passion as he lies on the bed, pulling my back to his chest. He sucks and nibbles my bottom lip while I try to breathe, my chest heaving for air and breaths coming in pants. He pushes into me, slowly and deep. His girth stretches my walls. One of his arms wraps around my shoulders and his hand massages my breast, while the other cradles my leg, parting my legs for him further. He pushes in and out of me deliberately slow, but deep. All the while kissing me. My moans are trapped in his kiss.
My head falls back as my pussy clamps around his dick and that hot wave travels through my body with a vengeance. A strangled cry leaves my lips. His hand grips my chin and tilts my lips to his. But they only touch as he stares into my eyes and pumps into me. Faster and harder, forcing the numbing tingles through my limbs, building with a crippling intensity at my core. His hand moves to my clit and he brushes his fingers on the sensitive nub without mercy, sending me over the edge. His gaze keeps mine as I cum violently, my body trembling in his arms while he continues to pump into me, rutting with a primal need until he finds his own release.
My chest warms, and my body opens to him as he gently settles my body and continues to kiss me with a passion I’m not sure I’ve ever known. I turn in his embrace as best I can, just wanting to be held.
I try to calm my breathing. My trembling hands rest against his corded arm wrapped around my waist. He gently kisses down my jaw, down my neck. His open-mouth kisses leave a warmth that quickly turns to chills as the air hits them.
My breathing finally slows, and I turn in his arms. He holds me close against his chest. My eyes open as I watch his chest rise and fall as he calms his own breathing. I hear his heart beating loudly, yet with a steady rhythm. It’s hypnotizing.
A mix of relaxation and security warms my chest; my heart makes me weak. I swallow the lump growing in my throat and try to push down the emotions threatening to overwhelm me. I press my forehead to his chest as my back shudders from the cool air.
Dom reaches down and grabs his shirt from the floor for me. I give him a small smile and quickly put it on.
This is dangerous. Too emotional. I’m too weak to be playing these kinds of games. It’s not like it was before, where I could just walk away. Where I could live a fantasy and then return to my reality. My heart beats louder and chaotically against my chest. It doesn’t trust me, and I don’t trust it.
His brow furrows, and his eyes narrow. Just as he asks, “What’s wrong?” I hear Jax in the other room.
“Mommy!” he calls out as though he’s lost.
Dom slides easily off the bed and reaches for his pants. “Stay here; I’ll get him,” he says as though it’d be alright for him to go to my son. Jax pushes the door open as I open my mouth to stop Dom.
“Hey little man, Mommy’s tired right now, can I read you a bedtime story?” he asks in a sweet voice I didn’t know could be uttered from his lips.
My heart beats faster and tries to climb up my throat as he bends down so he's eye level with Jax. Jax’s sleepy eyes focus on Dom as he runs a hand through his hair. He lets out a small yawn and nods his head.
The word escapes my lips and echoes off the walls, “Red!” The two look up at me, both with confusion. And then the realization dawns across Dom’s face. My heart crumples in my chest. My throat dries, and a soreness leaks through every inch of my body.
I press my lips together and hold back the sobs threatening me, hating myself. Tears leak out of the corners of my eyes as I climb carefully off the bed, keeping the shirt down and walk silently to Jax. My hands shake as they go to his shoulders.
Guilt consumes me.
My heart may believe that what Dom and I just shared was something more than a quick, dirty fuck. But logically, I know better. I swallow thickly, avoiding Dom’s gaze. I know it was one-sided. And it was stupid. I keep doing stupid things around this man.
But not when it comes to Jax.
“It’s alright baby, I’ll read you a story.” I’m almost surprised how easily and calmly the words flow from my lips. But then I remember I’ve been doing this for quite some time now, hiding the pain and being strong for my son.
Only I don’t remember it ever hurting this much.
Dom
I can’t fucking sleep. She ripped my fucking heart out. How the fuck am I supposed to react to that? I’m trying real fucking hard not to take offense to that. That’s where she draws the line? I can fuck her all I want. Talk about using her pussy as payment, and fucking make love to her in my bed. But I can’t read her kid a bedtime story?
She had no fucking underwear on. My cum was probably leaking down her thigh. But she’d rather that?
She fucking safe worded me. I’ve only been safe worded a handful of times when I first started playing. I know limits. I know what women want. I’m good at reading their body language. But I can’t read her, my doll. Just thinking of my pet name for her has my heart clenching in agony.
I’m a fucking fool for thinking she’s mine. She’s not meant to be with a man like me, and it’s obvious she wants it to stay that way.
I thought she felt it. How could she not? I gave her everything. I feel raw and broken. And now she’s lying next to me right where I fucked her, on her side with her back to me, pretending to sleep. I know she’s awake. Her breathing isn’t even close to steady.
I’m not gonna do this. I’m not going to put up with this shit.
She wants to act like that, it’s on her. But my heart is fucking open, and I’m not going to let her pretend I didn’t just make love to her. That I didn’t just see right into her fucking soul as she came on my dick. It was fucking beautiful. I’m not going to let her disrespect that.
“Why are you pretending to sleep, doll?” I ask, doing my best to keep the contempt out of my voice.
“I’m not pretending.” Her voice comes out confident, and then lowers. “Just trying to sleep.”
“You don’t want me to hold you after tonight?” That fucking hurts, too. I should be all over her. Making sure she’s alright. I know better than to let her be on her own. But fuck, I’m hurting after that shit.
“It’s alright if you don’t want to.” Her voice breaks at the end. My brows raise in surprise.
“Babe?” I lean over and turn her so her back is on the bed. Her cheeks are tearstained. Fuck! “Doll, what’s wrong?” I pull her into my embrace, and she fucking loses it. “Have you been crying this whole time?”
“No.” She shakes her head into my chest and barely gets the word out.
“Let it out, babe.” I gently rub her back and feel like a fucking prick. I’ve been lying here pissed because she doesn’t want me around her son, yet she’s been crying right next to me and I didn’t even know. “Tell me what’s wrong.” I speak gently, but firmly. I know she’s gonna try to find a way around telling me what’s bothering her. My heart twists in agony; she didn’t want me to know she was crying.
“I know this is going fast babe, but you gotta try to trust me.”
A sob leaves her as she shakes her head. “It’s alright babe, just let it all out.”
“I can’t.” She pushes away from me with tears in her red-rimmed eyes. Her plush lips are turned down, and I still think she looks so damn beautiful. I don’t know how I ever looked at her before as just a piece of ass. But something’s different now.
“You can, babe. Just let it out.”
She shakes her head and her chest heaves with a sob, her shoulders bowing inward. “I can’t with you.” She sucks in a strangled breath. “This,” she says, motioning between us, “I can’t.” Her voice chokes on the last word. And it may as well have choked me.
My chest hollows and I let out a heavy breath, wrapping my arm around her shoulders and letting her cry into my chest. I don’t think I’ve ever felt pain like this. I don’t fucking like it.
“You don’t wanna be with me, doll?” I need her to say the words. I don’t want to hear them, but I need her to say them.
“That’s not it.” A spark of hope flares in my chest until she adds, “Jax.” My breath stops short. “I can’t do this to Jax,” she cries into my chest.
“Because I’m in the mob?” I ask clearly somehow.
“I can’t give him that life.” She shakes her head, and I hardly hear her words through her tears.
I swallow the lump growing in my throat. “You don’t think I’d be good for him?” I’d be great for him. I don’t know much about kids, but I’d learn. I’d treat them both better than her shit husband did.
She pulls away from me and looks at me with disbelief. “How could you?” She wipes the tears away with the back of her hand and tries to get off the bed. I snatch her wrist and pull her closer to me. I take her lips with mine and push her back onto the mattress. One hand on her throat and one beside her head, bracing my body. I cage her in and kiss her with everything I have. Her fingernails dig into my back.
I bite down on her bottom lip and pull back until she whimpers. I whisper in the air between us, “I’m good enough to fuck, but that’s it?”
A sad look of regret crosses her face. I wish it hadn’t. I don’t want to be a regret. I know I gave her what she needed. “Is that it, doll?” I search her pained expression for anything other than regret and remorse. “You don’t want me, babe?”
Her lips part, and the saddest noise sounds from her lips. I can see in her eyes that she wants me. I know she trusts me from the way her hand gentles on my forearm. My hand’s wrapped around her throat, and she doesn’t even react to it. I lean down and kiss her again, closing my eyes and gently sucking. I brush my tongue along the seam of her lips and she parts them, opening herself for me and moaning into my mouth.
She fucking loves me like I do her. It’s not supposed to be like this, but what really ever happens like it’s supposed to?
I gently rest my forehead against hers. My body heats, and my dick hardens with a desperate need to be inside her again and show her how much she loves me.
“Don’t fucking act like you don’t want me.” My hips push her legs apart, and she opens them obediently. “You just don’t want to believe you do.” I rock my dick against her heat before reaching down to push my pants down. “Stop lying to yourself.”
“I do.” She struggles to say her words. Relief washes through me, but it’s only temporary. The look on her face tells me everything. She’ll never be with me. It fucking hurts. She didn’t even give us a chance. She must see my pain, because her hands grab my neck and she pushes my lips onto hers.
“Please,” she whispers. But I don’t know what she means. I can’t ever figure her out. I look deep into her hazel eyes. “Please,” she asks again, her breathing shallow. She bites her bottom lip and rocks against my hard dick.
She just wants me to fuck her. A sharp shot to my chest makes me almost get off her, but her words stop me.
“Like you want to. Like I’m yours.” I barely hear her words. I search her eyes and then I hear the sweetest sounds whispered from her lips, “Punish me.”
It won’t take the pain away. I know it won’t, but I’ll be damned if I don’t want to pin her down and make her love me.
I narrow my eyes and look down at Becca. “Take your shirt off and get on your knees.”
I’m going to take her exactly how I've wanted to since I first held her ass in my office. It may be the last time I ever get to. In the morning I know she’ll want to leave. And I don’t think I have it in me to stop her. So I’m going to make this night count. I sit back on my heels and stroke my dick as she obeys me.
My hand comes down hard across her ass, leaving an angry red print. She yelps, and her body jolts forward with the blow. The slap echoes through the room, and then I remember her son. Fuck! I need to be quiet. A small voice inside me says she’s right. But I push that shit down and shake it off. I reach into the nightstand for some lube with my right hand while my left rubs the mark on her ass. I can have her tonight. Every way I want, and every way she wants.
I lean forward, my dick nestled between her heat and take her throat in my hand. I squeeze lightly and whisper into her ear, “You want me to fuck you like you’re mine to do what I want, how I want.”
I stroke the lube over my dick and use the excess over her puckered hole. I don’t waste any time slipping my finger in knuckle deep. “Good girl. Arch your back,” I say and she immediately obeys. “Push back, babe.” I fuck her ass with my finger until she’s moaning into the pillows, and then I add a second. My left hand strokes my dick, and I wish it was in her mouth. Her lips are parted, and soft whimpers are falling easily from them. Her eyes are closed, and I know she’s enjoying this. I pull my fingers out and line my dick up; her eyes fly open, and it makes me smirk.
“This is what you want from me, babe?” I keep my hand on the small of her back to keep her steady, and I watch those lips turn into a perfect “O” as I pump shallow thrusts into her ass. Her hot walls feel so fucking good. She clenches her heat as her head thrashes on the pillow.
“You want me to fuck you like I own you,” I say and lean down and push my dick deep into her, all the way to the balls. “Guess what, doll?” I pull back, almost all the way out. My dick begs to be back in her warmth. Her ass looks so fucking perfect with my dick in it. I grab her chin in my hand and pull her head back so she has to look at me. “I do own you.”
I slam back into her and watch her beautiful lips part with a cry of pleasure. I keep up a steady pace, holding her eyes. My breathing comes in pants as I fuck her exactly how she wants. She wants it brutal; she wants to believe that’s who I am. I’ll give her that. I won’t deny her. I thrust into her, and I don’t hold back. Her breasts bounce with my movements and I reach forward to cup one and squeeze it and pull to give her the added sensation. Her mouth hangs open, and her eyes squeeze shut as I keep up my pace. Her whimpers turn to squeaks, and I know she’s getting close. My hand flies to her clit as a cold sweat breaks out on my body.
“Cum for me.” Her back bows, and her head falls to the mattress as she does exactly what I told her to do. My balls draw up, and my spine tingles as I find my own release w
ith hers. I pump into her with every wave until the aftershocks have passed.
I gently pet Becca’s back and kiss her shoulder. “Stay here, doll.” I plant another kiss on her shoulder and grab a hand towel from the bathroom to clean up. I wipe both of us off and lay her gently on the bed. I wasn’t gentle with her. Not like I was planning to be at her place.
I lie down beside her and pull her into me. None of that crying on her own shit. Tonight she’s mine. “You alright, babe?” I ask as she backs her ass up to nestle between my hips. It makes a soft smile form on my lips.
“Hmmm.” She’s so exhausted she can’t even answer. I rub my hand down her arm and kiss her shoulder before settling behind her. Her warm body against mine feels so right.
A pang pains in my chest at the thought, and just as I close my eyes and pray for sleep to take me, I hear her say it. “I love you, Dom.” It’s mumbled from her lips. I prop myself up on my elbow and look at her. She’s peacefully asleep, but I know I heard her say it.
I lie back down and kiss her hair. “I love you, doll.” I whisper the words and pray maybe that will be enough.
Dom
I can’t stop watching her fuss over her little boy. They’re in my kitchen, sitting at the island eating breakfast. I lean back against the granite, gripping it to keep me in place. I could see myself with them. I could see myself with one arm wrapped around her waist, and my other hand messing up Jax’s hair. An asymmetric grin pulls at my lips as she leans over to fix his hair. It makes me want to mess it up even more.
I can see the three of us together. But she can’t. Or won’t. I don’t know which.
I push off the counter to walk over to her, but my phone goes off. It catches Becca’s attention, and she looks at me with anxiety in her eyes. She’s been asking to go home since she woke up. She’s been avoiding me, and not letting me touch her.
Those Boys Are Trouble Page 14
