by Raine Thomas
Making me question my own conviction.
Where does right end and wrong begin?
Am I willing to risk what might have been?
The battlefield is dark and bloody.
I’ve lost sight of everybody.
I can’t live with knowing anymore
That I’ll lose you as a casualty of war.
You came to me, my heart, my friend,
And I saw you as the means to an end.
But if you end up the sacrifice,
I’ll be the one who pays the price.
The song flowed from his head through the tip of the pencil. He wrote and adjusted until he was happy with it, then he flipped the page again and started writing another one.
Then another.
And another.
He didn’t register Trey ordering food at some point. He just absently ate the club sandwich and fries set in front of him when his stomach grumbled. He didn’t hear the phone ring and didn’t pay attention when Trey responded to the caller in a low rumble. He didn’t have any clue what was on the television, which Trey had muted and was watching with subtitles so it wasn’t distracting.
All that mattered right then was the music.
It was hours later before he finally looked up from the notepad and blinked to clear his vision. Trey was dozing on the sofa in a T-shirt and pair of gym shorts, his version of sleepwear. The television was off and the only light came from the lamp next to the sofa.
Glancing at his watch, Archer saw it was almost two o’clock in the morning. Man, he hadn’t had a writing bout like that in years. He still felt the energy tugging at him to put more words to paper, but his bladder was screaming at him and if he didn’t get some water to drink he was pretty sure his throat would turn straight to dust.
First he grabbed his phone, thinking of Lily. Relief filled him when he saw a text from her.
Been a long day. Crashing. Meet you downstairs in the a.m.
He didn’t bother replying. He would surprise her and greet her with breakfast at her room in the morning. Or rather in a few hours.
In the meantime, it wouldn’t hurt to write a few more lyrics...
* * *
A sharp knock on the door woke him the next morning. His head jerked up from the back of the loveseat where he had fallen asleep. What time that had been, he had no idea. But it felt like mere minutes ago.
“It’s Mr. Connors, sir,” Trey said from the door.
“Keith? Shit,” Archer said in a raspy voice. He looked again at his watch and realized he had missed the gym. “Let him in.”
He rubbed his hands vigorously over his face and got to his feet as Trey opened the door. His eyes felt like sandy marbles.
“Morning, Sleeping Beauty,” Keith drawled as he strolled in looking ready to go for the day in dark jeans, a black collared shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and his favorite pair of boots. He looked Archer up and down and then craned his neck to look at the unused bed in the adjoining room. “Same clothes as yesterday but no female accounted for? You were writing.”
“Yeah,” Archer confirmed on a wide yawn. “Pretty much all night.”
“You do recall that we have a round of interviews this morning and a show this afternoon, right?”
“Well the Muse doesn’t give a shit about any of that,” Archer said, yanking off his T-shirt and heading to the bathroom to shower. “I’ll be downstairs in thirty minutes. I want to stop by Lily’s room after I get showered and changed.”
“You’ll have her all to yourself then,” Keith told him. “Her two guard-roomies are already down in the lobby.”
“Even better,” Archer said from the bathroom doorway. “Feel free to take a look at the songs if you want. They’re on the coffee table.”
“I’ll wait until you can share them with all of us,” Keith replied. “I don’t want to hear Sage’s whining that I always get to see the new stuff first.”
“Fine. We’ll make time for that later. Now unless you want to see me waltz out of this bathroom naked in five minutes, you should ship off.”
As he closed the door to the bathroom, he heard Keith say, “Trey, my man, you sure have all the fun.”
Archer shook his head and grinned. Then he turned his attention to getting ready. Since he was running behind, he’d have to go to Lily’s room before worrying about breakfast. No problem. They could stop by the hotel’s café together before heading to the first interview of the day. Although he wouldn’t have the lure of tea or food to get her out of bed, he could think of a few other enticements.
That had his mind wandering back to the Delta Flyer and how Lily had responded to him. He couldn’t ever recall being pushed so close to the edge by what was truly a brief encounter. Remembering how she had tasted and felt beneath his hands had him considering taking a longer shower while he indulged in a lurid fantasy or two, but he was late enough as it was. Instead, he forced himself to get through the shower and tried to clear his foggy brain.
Fifteen minutes later, he was striding up the hallway to Lily’s room. He told Trey to meet him in the lobby, hoping to get a little alone time with Lily. They needed to discuss what had happened the day before and, damn it, he really wanted to kiss her good morning. He was craving her like an addiction.
It wasn’t until he was about to knock on her door and he realized his heart was booming in his chest that he acknowledged the fear he had been ignoring. Part of him was deeply afraid that the interviews with Elijah had proved to be a tipping point with Lily. Only the other part of him that had been friends with her for eight years kept that fear at bay. She wouldn’t have done the interviews if she really didn’t want to.
Still, what if she decided he wasn’t worth it?
Stop it, you jackass, he censured himself. You’re just sleep deprived.
He knocked on the door. His hand was poised to knock again, certain it would take a few rounds before she stirred enough to answer. So he was sure his astonishment registered on his face when the door flew open within thirty seconds and Lily stepped out dressed and ready to go.
“Well, good morning,” he said, lowering his hand and smiling at her. “What’s your hurry? We have a few minutes before we need to be downstairs.”
“I thought we were meeting in the lobby,” she replied a little breathlessly, glancing sideways as she pulled her door closed.
Archer followed her gaze and finally noticed the House of Archer camera guy waiting in the hall a short distance away. He guessed he needed to behave himself at least a little with the camera aimed at them.
“I really want to get something to eat before the interviews,” she added, looking intently at her purse strap as she adjusted it on her shoulder.
His attention returned to her. His senses sent up alarms all over the place. Something definitely wasn’t right.
After a moment, he said, “You’ve been crying. Why?”
She heaved a sigh and finally met his gaze. “How do you do that? I haven’t cried once this morning.”
“Yesterday then.” His heart sank. “The interviews. Damn it, Lily.”
She shook her head. “No. I made it through the stupid interviews. Now isn’t the time to get into why I was emotional, not before you have a show. You need to cheer me up instead.”
His lips turned up in a suggestive grin and he leaned close to her ear. “If we go into your room for a few minutes, I know something that will cheer you right up.”
“No,” she said quickly, stepping back to put some distance between them.
He frowned. It didn’t even take his ability to read Lily to know something was wrong. Why was she avoiding him?
“Please, Dane...I have my reasons,” she said, once again interpreting his thoughts. She tugged on his arm to get him moving towards the elevator.
“But I was really hoping to get you alone for a couple of minutes and your room is right here. We need to talk about everything that happened yesterday.”
She didn’t stop walking
. “We’ll talk after your show, I promise.”
Far from happy but knowing he wasn’t going to sway her, he fell into step beside her. Maybe he needed to try another tactic. Disregarding the camera that followed them, he brought his arm up around her shoulders and pulled her closer so he could kiss the top of her head.
“You look nice today,” he said.
She was wearing an outfit he bought her yesterday, which pleased him. It was an ankle-length sundress in shades of aqua, brown, beige, and coral with a bolero-style denim jacket that ended at her ribcage. A pair of coral wedges and a matching coral purse made her look professional but age-appropriate. He thought the weather would be rather warm for the jacket, but he supposed she could always remove it. Her beautiful hair was down but pulled away from her face by an aqua headband.
“Thanks,” she said, giving him a small smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “You look tired.”
He wanted to ask her again what was wrong. There was a space between them that hadn’t ever been there before. He felt it like an ache.
“I didn’t sleep much. I got caught up in songwriting.”
Now she gave him a genuine smile. “Yeah? How many songs did you finish?”
“I actually didn’t even count. I fell asleep at some point and Keith got me up twenty minutes ago.”
“Wow! You haven’t had one of those nights in years.”
The ache lessened a bit at that. It might not seem like much to anyone else, but that was an intimate detail about his life and career that only she would really know.
“I’m happy for you,” she said.
Where she usually would have touched his arm or something in a friendly gesture, this time she held onto her purse strap and stood stiffly at his side. He felt the gap between them widening again.
“Thanks,” he said dully, removing his arm from her shoulders as the elevator doors opened.
They stepped out into the lobby. It was busy that morning with plenty of foot traffic. He spotted Noelle, Mandy, Aria, and Sydney in line at the café, and Keith, Nikki, Xander, Sage, and Christopher already holding beverage cups and standing on the other side of the lobby by the doors leading to their transportation. He instinctively placed a hand on Lily’s lower back to urge her ahead of him towards the café line and felt the microphone battery pack strapped there. He removed his hand like it had emitted an electric shock.
Yet another reminder of why Lily was behaving so oddly this morning.
“There you are,” Aria greeted them as they got in line behind her and Sydney. “I told you you’d rock that dress, Lily.”
“You’re always right about fashion,” Lily acknowledged.
“You can say that again,” Sydney agreed.
Archer stood quietly while the females chatted about the clothes they were wearing. None of them were even trying to include him in the conversation, not that he’d have anything to say other than that they all looked hot.
He studied the back of Lily’s head since she didn’t turn to look at him. He wished he could pull her thoughts right from her mind and figure out what she was keeping from him.
They shuffled ahead in the line and Lily ordered her chai latte and a cranberry-orange muffin. She pulled out some cash to pay for her breakfast before he could. Since he had wanted to buy her breakfast, he found himself annoyed.
“I was going to treat,” he said to her as she collected her change.
“Well you’re a little slow on the draw,” she responded as she dropped some money in the tip jar. “But thanks for the thought.”
He watched her step away to join Aria and Sydney at the pick-up counter and almost said something she probably wouldn’t have liked. He caught himself at the last minute. He was sure his lack of sleep was making him overreact. Rather than hold up the line further, he ordered the largest and strongest coffee they had and grabbed a couple of energy bars. There was no doubt he’d need them.
His order was simple enough that he got his cup of coffee straight from the cashier and walked with it over to the cream and sugar station. He sipped some coffee and then topped it with half-and-half, adding a travel top for the road.
Because he was right by the garbage can and the women were still waiting for their orders, he went ahead and tore into an energy bar, tossing the wrapper in the garbage and taking a bite to get something in his stomach. He managed to finish it by the time their orders were up. He then carried his coffee towards the pick-up counter, watching as Lily took a testing sip of her latte.
“Ow!” she hissed, bringing a hand to her lower lip.
Archer almost ran into a woman crossing his path because his attention was on Lily. Muttering an apology, he hurried closer so he could ask Lily what was wrong.
“Is it too hot?” he heard Aria asked her.
Even as Lily shook her head, Sydney said, “No, it’s from when Johnathan got a little too enthusiastic last night.”
Archer reached them as Sydney said it. Her back was turned to him, so she didn’t realize he was right there.
Lily did, however. Her eyes widened and she lost an entire shade of color. Her reaction more than Sydney’s words hit Archer like a fist to the face.
“Sydney,” Aria said in a warning voice, nudging her chin towards Archer.
He didn’t care about Lily’s friends. His gaze remained on her. Now he realized what he had missed earlier.
Her guilt.
“Johnathan?” he repeated. “Johnathan was here last night?”
“H-he was,” Lily stammered, “but—”
“And your lip is sore because of what? A rough kiss?”
She didn’t immediately reply, looking at Aria and Sydney for guidance. It was more than enough for him right then.
“You know what, Lily?” he said, holding up a hand and stepping away from her. “You’re right. I’m not interested in discussing this right now. It doesn’t look like there’s much to say anyway.”
She tried to stop him as he turned around but he ignored her. He ignored the camera that followed him and he ignored the people staring at him as he walked over to join Trey and his band mates. When they greeted him, he ignored them, too.
His brain was now filled with images of Lily and Johnathan alone in her hotel room. Her strange behavior and refusing to let him into her room or let him kiss her now made terrible sense.
She and Johnathan must have made up. Lily hadn’t wanted Archer to see evidence of their make-up session in the hotel room and that was why she hadn’t let him in. She was upset because she didn’t know how to tell Archer that they weren’t going to begin a real relationship after all.
As he tried to come to grips with that realization, his mood sank deeper and darker than he could ever remember. He reminded himself that Lily was never truly his, but that did nothing to fill the jagged wound in his chest.
It didn’t offer him any comfort that the desire to write once again gripped him, especially because the lyrics in his soul had nothing to do with love and everything to do with betrayal and loss.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
“Oh, goodness, Lily. I’m so sorry.”
Lily turned to Sydney, so angry she wanted to throw her hot drink across the café. “No you’re not, Sydney,” she snapped. “You’ve been treating him like a puppy-beater for days. You knew he was over there waiting for us and that he was bound to overhear you.”
“No, I—”
“Save it. I’m not an idiot and neither is he. Whatever your personal feelings for Archer, he’s my best friend and deserves better treatment than that, especially with him footing the bill for you to be here. Now I’ve got work to do.”
Not waiting for a reply, Lily turned on her heel and hurried over to the doors where everyone else had already exited to get into the cars that would take them to the band’s first interview of the day. She saw that Dane was in a vehicle that was already full and struggled not to be hurt by that. She was sure she was the last one he wanted to be around at the moment.
Christopher waved her over to the sedan he would be riding in, so she walked towards him. “Good morning,” he greeted her.
“Morning,” she said without enthusiasm as she got into the backseat of the vehicle.
“Uh-oh,” he said as he climbed in beside her. “That sounded less than enthusiastic. Does this have anything to do with why Archer is riding with Keith and Sage rather than you?”
She was surprised to find her lips trembling over his sympathetic tone. Firming them up, she nodded and sipped her latte.
“Want to talk about it?”
His gaze moved subtly towards the camera mounted near the car’s rearview mirror. She realized they were being filmed even on the drive. Well, maybe giving the show some content would help smooth things over with Dane. She’d have to keep it somewhat vague, she decided, to keep viewers interested.
“It’s just a misunderstanding,” she sighed, tearing into her soft muffin. “He found out Johnathan paid me a visit last night.”
Christopher’s eyebrows shot up. “Your fiancé?”
“Not really,” she clarified around a bite of muffin. “But yeah. He came to try and convince me to change my mind about breaking things off.”
“Holy shit.”
Lily didn’t think she’d ever heard the manager swear before. She almost choked on a swallow of her latte but caught herself in time. Christopher stared at her, apparently waiting for more of an explanation.
“I know. I was taken completely by surprise. He brought me flowers and said he had scared me off by proposing, which I suppose was true. He told me he loved me and wanted me to reconsider ending our relationship. Honestly, it was like something out of a romantic movie.” She looked out the window as though reflecting on the event. “I was going to tell Archer about it after The Void’s performance today. I didn’t want his attention split. But he overheard Sydney say something about Johnathan’s visit a few minutes ago and now he’s upset. He wouldn’t let me explain.”
