by Janey Rosen
“You didn’t come home. I wanted to ride … to feel close to you. You were so distant.” He brushes my lips lightly with his.
“I could fucking kill Paul, what the hell was he thinking putting you on Zariya?” His eyes are burning, rage and concern etched on his face.
“Don’t be mad at him, it’s my fault. Am … am I going to be ok?” My hand reaches up to my head and I feel a bandage and thick wadding to the right of my temple.
“You’re fine, you have concussion and a nasty gash. You can come home tomorrow. The doctor says you need to rest for a few days and the stitches will come out in a week. I was so worried.” He was worried. He loves me. The thought warms me and lifts my spirit.
“Bella’s here darling. You gave her a fright too. I’ll go and get her, she’s grabbing a coffee.”
He rises and leaves the room. Taking in my surroundings I see that I’m in a private room, it’s basic but comfortable like a budget hotel room. A pretty blonde nurse enters and picks up a clipboard from the end of the bed. She puts a cuff on my arm and pumps it tight.
“Hello,” she says, “welcome back. You had quite a sleep after your nasty fall. How’s the head? Need some pain relief?” She’s a kind nurse - I give her a feeble smile and tell her my head hurts.
“Not surprised, love. I’ll fetch you some Codeine and perhaps a drop of Oramorph to help with the pain. Blood pressure’s fine. You should be able to leave us tomorrow.”
Sebastian returns with Bella in tow. The nurse’s mouth gapes as she looks up and sees him. Blushing a deep crimson, she flutters her eyelashes unashamedly at him. So he has that effect on all women - take a hike sister, he’s mine.
“How’s she doing, nurse?” He asks in his sexiest voice, clearly aware of her reaction to his damned good looks.
“Oh. She’s doing just fine,” she purrs, now a deeper red still. “She mustn’t exert herself,” she adds. His eyes light up and his lips curl into a seductive smile.
“I’ll be sure not to jump her bones until at least tomorrow then, nurse,” he replies playfully. Frowning and tutting, nurse makes a hasty exit and Sebastian’s attention returns to me.
“Sebastian you shouldn’t tease. You know what you do to women, you’re so mean,” he’s grinning at me - all innocence and charm.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about Mrs. Dove. I’m going for bite to eat in the café. I’ll leave you in Bella’s capable hands. Get some rest.”
He blows an exaggerated air kiss and leaves Bella to keep me company. So tired now, my eyes close as my daughter curls up in the chair at my bedside and I drift into a welcome sleep once more.
My daughter is holding my hand and I squeeze gently. “Mum. You ok?”
“Bella, love. I’m fine. Sorry I must have drifted off.”
“That’s ok, you’ve only napped for a few minutes. How’s your head?” she touches the bandage gently.
“I’ve felt better,” I tell her. Hearing her sniff, I crane my neck so that I can see her, she’s crying.
“Bella, darling. Don’t.” She takes my proffered hand in hers.
“I thought you were going to die,” she sobs. “I couldn’t bear to lose you … after Dad and Joe. I’d be all alone Mum.
“Oh Bella. I’m not going anywhere,” I sooth. “God I’ve been such an idiot.” Tears are pooling in my eyes and Bella dabs at them with a tissue before blowing her nose.
“No, you haven’t Mum. It was an accident – bloody horse should be shot and used for dog food if you ask me.” She smiles, as do I.
“Sebastian’s been so worried, Mum. He’s really feeling guilty about not coming home last night. You two need to sort yourselves out, you’re like a couple of kids. Shit Mum you’re nearly forty yet you act like a bloody teenager,” she scolds.
“Yes Mum,” I tease. “Was he really worried?”
“Shit, yes! Scarlett’s been here too - she bought you a few things in a bag. She’s been upset. They’ve been having a cuddle to comfort each other, she was crying and everything …” A CUDDLE? My subconscious screams. I need to get home – the sooner Scarlett realizes that I’m not putting up with her shit, targeting my man, the sooner she will hopefully resign and leave Penmorrow.
“I want to go home,” I try to sit up but a wave of nausea washes over me and I fall back onto the pillows.
“Tomorrow, Elizabeth.” Sebastian is standing beside the bed, scowling down at me. “Take the pain killers that the nurse left for you and then sleep. It’s nearly midnight, I’ll be back at eight and we’ll go home if the doctor discharges you.”
Leaning down, he kisses me on the cheek as though I’m an aged aunt he’s visiting in a nursing home.
“Kiss me properly,” my plea is needy and he leans down once more, this time delivering a firm kiss on my lips.
“Sleep. See you in the morning,” he leaves the room as Bella blows me a kiss and follows him out.
Sebastian arrives promptly at eight the next morning and we wait together for the doctor to discharge me. My headache is easing and I’m keen to go home to Penmorrow.
“All looks fine, Mrs. Dove but expect to have quite a headache for another couple of days. No exertion, you must rest.” The doctor puts away his pen torch and my eyes adjust to the daylight.
“I’ll make sure she’s well looked after,” Sebastian assures the doctor as he takes my overnight bag and my hand in his. Sebastian’s car is parked near to the hospital entrance and he helps me in, being careful to shield my injured head with his hand as I slide in to the passenger seat.
“Thank you for caring,” I say as he drives us home.
“It’s my job, Elizabeth and one which I take seriously and, actually quite enjoy,” he says with a sideways glance. He’s smiling and his hand reaches across to squeeze my knee.
“You won’t scold Paul will you?” I ask. “It’s not his fault I rode Zariya. I stupidly thought riding a horse was like riding a bike – once you’ve mastered it you are always competent. I should have had some lessons before riding out on my own.” He pats my knee.
“Elizabeth, you always think you know everything,” he sighs. “Perhaps now you’ll defer to me a little more. You’re very vulnerable and the sooner you accept that, the safer you’ll be.”
I sit and think about this. Having always considered myself to be a strong and independent woman, it’s quite a revelation to hear that he perceives me as being weak and vulnerable. He must be right, I reflect, or I wouldn’t have had an accident nor would I have come to Penmorrow to be cared for by him. It’s quite a challenge to accept that what I have believed to be true about myself for so many years is in fact a façade, a cloak of falsehood in which I have wrapped myself tightly for nearly two decades.
“I think you’re right,” I murmur.
Sebastian strokes my cheek with the back of his hand as he studies the road ahead. “Yes I am right. So, what has this revelation taught you, Elizabeth?”
“That I need to trust you more,” I reply contritely.
“Good girl.”
One question please Sebastian…” he glances fleetingly at me.
“Go on.”
“Scarlett intimated that you and she have … how shall I put it, had a relationship,” he withdraws his hand from my knee and clenches the steering wheel, his mouth now set in a stern line.
“Before you castigate me, I’m not asking you to divulge anything about your past with her. I need to know that you’re not with Scarlett now. Tell me you don’t have sex with her any more.” He slows the car and pulls to halt - the offside wheels scoot up on to a grass verge. Cutting the engine of his Land Rover, he swivels in his seat to face me. His eyes are burning and he looks menacing. Crap, his mood is so changeable, so mercurial.
“We’ve been over this before,” he says in a cold, clipped voice. “What is it with you? Why are you so fucking jealous of my fucking housekeeper?” He bangs his fist against the dashboard and I flinch at his volatility.
“Sebastian. Calm down.” I
hold my hands up to him, palms outward in a conciliatory stance. His tantrum is making my headache worse and I wince at the pain.
“You see?” His voice rises, “you see what you’re doing to yourself? This is what happens when you doubt me. Nothing good comes from defying or challenging me Elizabeth, and the sooner you except this fact, the happier we shall both be. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” I whisper. “I’m sorry. Please just take me home, I’ll try to change. Please don’t be mad at me, it’s only because I love you. I don’t want to lose you, I’ve lost Alan and Joe - I can’t bear to lose you too.”
He cups my face with his strong hands and kisses me tenderly.
“Well then, you need to do as I say,” he says, more softly now. He doesn’t tell me he loves me but I know that, deep down, he does.
It feels good to be home. Sebastian insists I go straight to bed and Scarlett has thoughtfully prepared our room with a jug of water, glass and magazine on my nightstand. Settling back on to the pillows, I scoop up the magazine and open to the first page. A folded piece of white paper falls on to my lap. Opening it, I see it’s a note from Paul, Sebastian’s stable-hand.
Dear Mrs. Dove
I’m very sorry that I put you on Zariya yesterday. It was stupid of me not to check your skills were a suitable match to the horse I chose. Please forgive me.
I’ve greatly loved my job at Penmorrow and will miss it so much, but I understand Lord De Montfort’s reasons for asking me to leave. I wish I could stay but I can’t. I wish you a speedy recovery and once again apologize for your fall.
Yours sincerely
Paul
Furious, I step gingerly from the bed and grab my robe from the chaise, my head swims and I clutch the bedpost to steady myself. How dare Sebastian fire Paul when the accident was not his fault. Sebastian is in his study, engrossed in estate accounts. He looks up when I enter without knocking.
“What are you doing out of bed?” his tone is frosty. Marching over to his desk, I slap the letter down on top of his papers. He glances down at the letter, his eyes skimming the words and his expression dark.
“And?” He cocks his head to one side and lifts a heavy brow, his arms folded across his chest as he rests back into his chair.
“Paul’s not to blame. I can’t believe you’ve fired him, it was actually Scarlett who suggested which horse I should ride,” I state incredulously.
“I’m sorry, Elizabeth, remind me when I engaged you as Estate Manager.” My head throbs and my temper soars.
“Be reasonable,” my voice is shrill. His eyes are locked on mine, burning like black coals – daring me to challenge him further.
“Reasonable?” He laughs. “As you were reasonable, taking my horse for a jolly little run when you evidently don’t know its ass from its hoof?”
My hand reaches up to comfort my pulsing temple but I wince when I touch the bandaged wound.
“Get to bed,” he snaps, rising from his chair and moving around the desk toward me. “Right now.” He takes my arm and leads me upstairs and I don’t protest. I really don’t feel well.
The rest of the day is spent eating chicken soup and sleeping. When I wake fully, the room is in darkness. Reaching across the nightstand, I flick the switch to the bedside lamp and it casts a golden light about the room. Sebastian isn’t beside me. The clock on his nightstand tells me that it’s one fifteen – the early hours of the morning and he’s not here. Where is he? I feel panicky. Alone. Shrugging on my robe and slipping my feet into my slippers, I pad down the landing to the top of the stairs. All is silent except for the steady ticking of the grandfather clock in the hall below. The hall is illuminated by a table-lamp and I carefully descend the stairs, holding fast to the banister. The kitchen door is closed but I see a light from the gap underneath. Twisting the handle, the door creaks open – Sebastian and Bella are deep in conversation.
“Mum, you’re awake.” Bella sounds relieved.
“Darling, sit down, I’ll make you a cup of tea,” Sebastian stands and walks to the range where he places the kettle on to the hot plate.
“What are you talking about?” I ask, staring at Bella, so demure in the candlelight.
“Bella’s been regaling me with tales of her childhood,” he interjects.
“Have you Bella?” still staring at her, she nods in agreement.
“Yes, I was just telling him about the time I was on the Girl Guide camp and Joe insisted on staying too. He cried and stamped his feet until you and Dad gave in and said he could stay as an honorary girl. He was such a brat,” she smiles at the memory. That seems a lifetime away, I reflect. How I miss Joe.
“Why are you both up so late?” I ask Sebastian who’s adding milk and sugar to a china mug.
“Just spending quality time together, darling,” he turns to look at me, his demeanour gentle – so changeable. “I’ll be up in a moment. I’ll bring your tea up, you get back to bed.” It’s an order but I stand fast.
“I’m not tired, I’ve been sleeping all day,” I protest.
He pauses, a teaspoon in his hand and the kettle whistling.
“Ok. Sit.” He nods to the old church pew on which Bella sits but I take a seat on the pew opposite Bella, so I face her across the oak refectory table.
“It’s good that you are both getting to know each other,” my words belie the envy I feel at their closeness.
“Your Mother called,” Sebastian says, “and Ruth. They wanted to know how you are and send their love.”
“How did they know about the accident?” I ask him.
“I called them both,” replies Bella, shuffling in her seat. “I thought they’d want to know. We were worried about you. Grandma says she will come and see you soon.”
The hot sweet tea helps to wash down my pain medication and I welcome the relief they give almost immediately. Feeling drowsy again I return to bed, leaving Sebastian and Bella to their cosy chat. Thirty minutes later I’m aware of Sebastian slipping into bed beside me and I snuggle back against his chest, drifting off to sleep once more. The nightmares come again, the same as before – always I’m in the chamber of pain and always Scarlett is fornicating with Sebastian while I watch.
18
Two weeks have passed since my accident and I’m fully recovered. My scar is healing nicely and the headaches have stopped. Sebastian has treated me as though I’m a porcelain doll but, to be frank, I’m starting to seriously crave the rough, sultry Sebastian. Two long weeks without sex is making me restless and short tempered and I wonder how he can survive celibacy when his sexual appetite is usually insatiable. I decide to reward his patience tonight.
Scarlett and Bella are taking a bus to town, taking in a movie and dinner together as she’s missing her friends back home in Dorset. Sebastian and I have the house to ourselves, and I have an evening of delicious erotica planned.
It’s four o’clock and I decide to call Ruth for an update on our business, Evershaw & Dove. It’s so kind of my business partner and friend to afford me time away to heal after the death of my son Joe and husband Alan in a car crash last winter. I’m feeling rested and happy – it was the right decision to come here. Sebastian was right, I just needed to trust in his judgment and let him take care of me.
“Ruth! How’s it going stranger?”
She squeals when she hears my voice. “Beth! OMG. It’s going brilliantly, we’ve two new contracts and our bottom line is way up on this time last year. How’s life in the sticks? Are you all healed up now – how’s your head?”
“Yep, I’m all healed and happier than I can remember. Sebastian’s been a dream, he’s been taking care of me – killing me with kindness!” We laugh. “Ruth, you are coming to my fortieth birthday party aren’t you?”
“Try and stop me! I can’t wait. You said it would be a masked ball so I’ve been trawling on the internet, trying to find a suitable creation to wow all the men. I’ve bought the most divine mask, Beth. Covered with bling, it’s so me.”
<
br /> “Wow, it sounds stunning. Don’t look too sexy or Sebastian will be after you,” I warn facetiously.
“No worries on that score, he adores you,” she says.
“He’s been taking a keen interest in his investment. Calls once a week for an update on the figures and I always get an update on my buddy in return,” this is news to me. Although Sebastian invested in our company at a time when we needed the funds, he rarely mentions it to me.
We end the call promising to keep in touch and with us both excited about the ball, now just three weeks away.
While Sebastian runs Bella and Scarlett to the bus stop, I dash upstairs to change my outfit. Slipping out of my jeans and tee, I spritz myself in Desire and retrieve new lingerie from my drawer. Scanty Panties, you are so sexy, I giggle as I carefully slip on the whisper of black lace. Instead of a bra, I select a black boned basque, which has been concealed beneath a pile of sweaters in my wardrobe. It’s tight and eventually I have to tug it around bringing the hook and eye fasteners to my front, so that I can hook it closed before twisting it back the right way. Black sheer stockings are fastened by suspenders, which stretch down from the edges of the basque. Gazing in the full-length mirror I’m in awe of the slut who gazes back. You are irresistible you whore. My feet slip in to unfeasibly high black stilettos and I’m ready to cook. I can’t actually recall any TV chefs in such apparel, not even the scrumptious Nigella – she’s missing a trick.
Tottering across the unforgiving flagstones in the kitchen I light the pillar candle on the table and check on the progress of the duck, which is crispy and the aroma delicious. You are a domestic goddess, I grin smugly as I hear the heavy front door slam shut signalling the return of my prey.
I quickly perch on the edge of the table, legs akimbo on the church pew, resting back on my arms so that my breasts spill forth above the confines of the boned corset. I pout my glossy red lips and listen as the footsteps of his boots near the door. I can feel the moistness in my panties as my core tenses in anticipation of his reaction. The brass handle turns and the door pushes open. He stands in the doorway, shock registering on his face – rapidly replaced with a carnal, animalistic desire as he absorbs the scene before him.
