by Ford, Mia
When I went looking for her at her office and then at the bar, my intention had been to talk to her. I knew she was having a hard time selling the company and I didn’t want her to suffer because of it. I also wanted to try my luck in convincing her to come work with me. But, I’d failed on both those accounts. Instead, I had managed to completely loose control and we ended up having sex.
Sex with Beverley was something I fantasized about since college. My preoccupation with Beverley, was something I blamed on my lust for her. So, technically, sleeping with her should have solved that problem for me. As she said, it was done now and we could both move on. But it didn’t seem like I could move on. I had never thought about a woman after having sex with her. This was a first for me and I didn’t know how to deal with it.
Back in my house, I paced around my den. I was still in my clothes from the day, conscious of the smell of Beverley on the fabric, or I could have just been imagining it. Either way, I couldn’t stop wondering what it would have felt like to sleep with her in my house, on my bed, so that we could talk after.
What was happening to me? I felt like I was going insane. Usually, once the job was done and I’d slept with a woman, what I wanted most to put some distance between us. And now, after Beverley, all I could think about was having her again.
I was mad at her, angry at me. I could still her voice ringing in my head. “It’s done now, we can finally move on.” I’d seen the rage in her eyes. She hated me, despised me more now that we had actually done the deed. It was almost like she had slept with me just to punish me. I was sure that she wanted to have nothing to do with me after. Whatever dreams I had of us working together as a team, were now ruined.
With my mind in confusion and my temper rising, I took out my phone and called the lawyer.
“How is the transaction going?” I said into the phone. I must have sounded pissed off, because he started explaining the process to me immediately, almost nervously.
“I don’t care how it’s being done. How much longer till I have full possession of Wade Co?” I barked into the phone.
“We’re waiting for signed papers and a confirmation. A week maximum? We’ll try and speed up the process,” he said and I cut the call. I wasn’t in the mood for small talk.
I clenched my jaw as I flung the phone away from me and it landed on the floor. I saw the screen crack and I turned away from it. I could get a new phone, I thought.
In a week I would own Beverley’s company. I would have won the game and we wouldn’t have to see each other again, just like she wanted.
I wasn’t sure why I was so angry suddenly, when sleeping with Beverley had occupied my mind since I first met her in college. I had been so close to asking her out, several times. But I had peer pressure to back me into a corner. I was expected to date cheerleaders and sorority girls and Beverley Wade had the reputation of being a nerdy prude in my circles.
Besides, wasn’t it obvious now that she always hated me? She despised my popularity, the fact that I played a sport and also that I managed to be her academic equal. She had probably never even been attracted to me. She had definitely shown no signs of having any desires to even be associated with me. Who was I kidding? It was probably for the best that I’d never asked her out. She would only have turned me down.
I tried to steady my nerves. It was over. The maddening yearning I felt for her since the previous night when she came to my house…was done. I got what I wanted, including her company, why did I care any more?
I switched on the big screen television in the den and sat down on my couch, hoping that I could distract myself. Within a few minutes I switched it off again, because even though my eyes were open, I was only thinking of her. Beverley against the toilet wall, her legs wrapped around me, how green her eyes were and how her nails had dug into my shoulders as she came.
I wanted her again. I wanted more than just a quick fuck in the toilet of a dingy bar. I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted, but I wanted something else.
For now, I tried to remind myself that I was going to own her company. If she was so resistant to my good intentions then I wasn’t going to force her any more. She’d get exactly what she wanted.
Chapter 17
Beverley
In my apartment, I couldn’t sleep at night, but I’d decided to stay away from alcohol. As tempting as that prospect was. I had changed from my day clothes into a pair of old pajamas and tucked myself into bed earlier than usual. I wanted to feel the comforting warmth of the covers around me, the familiarity of the pillow under my head. But I still couldn’t sleep.
Whatever effects of the hangover I was suffering from in the morning, were gone the moment Grant found me at the bar. Like I told him, I hadn’t been drinking but I just wanted to enjoy the quiet of the bar and its dark confines. But I’d seen the look of worry in his eyes when he pulled me off my stool. Worry was the last expression I had expected to find on Grant’s face. Self sufficiency, confidence and being smug were the ones I thought he was used to.
Then he’d dragged me to the toilet and we’d had sex, loudly and ferociously; like our lives depended on it.
How long had I fantasized about sex with Grant? Since college. Since the first day I saw him in class. He was the hottest guy on campus and everyone had a crush on him. He had the unique allure of being smart and handsome at the same time, and I’d always known that I didn’t stand a chance. The worst part was that he was always also polite and nice. I hated him for it. I hated how perfect I believed he was and how much I wanted him. I wished he was mean to me, I wished he wasn’t always so charming.
I took out all those feelings as anger and competition, when deep down inside, I harbored feelings for Grant that were yet untouched by anyone else. I’d only had one real boyfriend, a guy I met in San Fransisco a couple of months after I moved here. We dated for six months and then I broke up with him when he asked if he could move in with me. I didn’t want to take it to the next level, because I knew he was just a decoy. To keep my brain distracted from thinking about Grant.
I knew Grant had moved to San Fransisco as well, that he too had started his own start-up and I wanted to do everything in my power to stay away from him. After that guy, there were a few one night stands but nothing serious. I told myself, and my family, that I was just busy and that I worked too hard and had no time for a relationship. When the whole time, all I did was compare other guys to Grant. To a guy I hadn’t even seen in person for several years.
And now we’d had sex. I should have been feeling great that my wildest fantasy had finally come true, but I didn’t. Instead, I was lying in my bed and cursing myself for having been so weak. The anger I’d felt towards Grant was quickly diminishing. I wanted to be in his arms, I wanted more than just sex with him.
I wasn’t entirely naive; I knew very well that Grant wasn’t that kinda guy. He never had been in college and if I was to believe his reputation in Silicon Valley, he was a serial dater instead of a committed monogamist.
And yet, I couldn’t help but harbor hopeful feelings. I’d seen the hurt look he threw at me when I dismissed him after sex. He looked like he had something more to say, that he would have liked to sit down and talk with me after. But I’d ruined the moment, as a defense mechanism. I’d tried to act casual and disinterested just so that he wouldn’t have the opportunity to turn me down.
Now I wondered what would have happened if we had actually sat down to talk. I had to admit that he was still being kind to me. What if he was being truthful when he said that he offered to buy my company only to keep my product afloat?
I sat up in bed when that thought entered my head. I was beginning to wonder if it wouldn’t be that bad if we worked together. What would I have to lose now? Now, that we had already broken the barrier of sex. How much worse could it get after this?
In fact, if I worked at Lonex I might actually be able to keep doing my work. And if I was to trust Grant, he would give me complete freedom and independe
nce like before. So, it could technically be business as usual. A smile formed on my face and I bit down on my lip. Just the prospect of talking to him again, accepting his offer was exciting me.
I didn’t want to think about the consequences of how it might affect my heart…if I was going to see him more often. Instead, I was thrilled at the idea of not completely losing my company and of working with him in close quarters.
I fell back on to the bed and my mind was swirling with day dreams and ideas. What if he did actually like me? What if the sex had meant something to him? Was that why he looked upset when we parted so abruptly?
I wanted to speak to him right there and then. I looked at the clock and it was nearly ten. I wasn’t going to call him now. I didn’t want to give him the impression that I was looking for another booty call. Instead, I forced myself to fall asleep so I could wake up the next morning fresh. I’d make the call next day, I thought. I’d call him and tell him I liked his idea, and invite him to lunch. We had a lot of things to talk about and I didn’t want to waste any more time.
Chapter 18
Grant
I drove myself to Wade Co the next morning, with the top down again so my hair was ruffled by the end of it. I had my jaw clenched and my knuckles turned white from the grip with which I was grasping the steering wheel. I was on a mission, and I didn’t want to budge from it.
I parked the car, and keeping my cool I strolled into the office. The woman from the previous day was sitting behind a desk, filing her nails.
“Mr Jennings!” she said with a start and stood up from her chair.
“Hi, I’m sorry we haven’t met yet,” I put on my best smile and walked up to her with my hand stretched towards her.
“I’m Susan, I’m the receptionist,” she said and I noticed the slight blushing of her cheeks. Good, I thought, I was having the right effect on her.
“Hello, Susan. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance,” I said with the smile still on my face. We shook hands gently, till I pulled away from her and folded the sunglasses in my hand.
“If you’re here for Ms Wade, she’s not in yet,” Susan said and I was pleased to hear it. I was hoping that I wouldn’t have to deal with Beverley first thing.
“And are the others here?” I asked her and Susan crossed her brows.
“You mean John and Sasha? Yeah, they usually come in by eight,” she said and I nodded.
“Good. They work hard,” I said, just as a guy who I hadn’t met before, emerged from one of the rooms.
“You must be John,” I said to him and extended my hand to him.
“Yes, I am. And you are Grant Jennings,” he said with the usual starstruck expression I saw on so many faces. Sasha was quick to come into the reception room as well, and I shook his hand too.
“Bev isn’t here,” Sasha said and I nodded.
“I’m aware, Susan told me already,” I said.
“She usually comes in by nine, but she hasn’t been in the best mood lately,” Susan cut in and I nodded and smiled at her again.
“I’m not here for her actually. I was hoping to catch all of you together,” I told them and Susan sat back down slowly on her chair.
“How can we help you Mr Jennings?” John said.
“Please, call me Grant,” I said to him, and without invitation, I took the chair across from Susan’s desk and sat down.
“I wanted to get to know you all and give you a brief introduction on how Lonex works,” I said to them and I watched as Sasha and John’s eyes widened.
“So, you mean you’re keeping us on?” Sasha asked and I smiled.
“Of course I am. You are the people who know the product best. It would be a shame to lose any of you,” I told him and they exchanged looks.
“And what about…Bev? Beverley,” Sasha added and I took in a sharp breath.
“It appears as though Beverley has other plans,” I said and a nervous look took over all their faces. I could see where their loyalties lay. “But I don’t want you to worry. You will all be well taken care of and I want you to slowly naturalize to Lonex’s surroundings,” I informed them and made myself comfortable on the chair.
When nobody had said a word for some time, I decided to break the silence.
“First of all, I would like all of you to start working out of the Lonex office building. I will have space made for you with your own private offices so that you can continue your work seamlessly,” I said and that seemed to please Sasha and John a little.
“What about me? I’m just a receptionist here…but what role will I have at Lonex? Will I have a role at Lonex at all?” Susan was speaking too quick and I could see that she was beginning to panic.
“Yes, of course you will have a role with us. I want you to work with the HR team and they will find a position for you there. I’m certain you’ve amassed enough experience here to be useful to us at Lonex,” I told her and the firmness and kindness of my voice seemed to put her at ease. She had started to relax a little.
“Has Bev told you anything about her plans? We know nothing. She’s rarely at the office any more and if she is, she refuses to talk to us or disclose anything,” Sasha said and I clenched my jaw.
“I know just about as much as you do. We aren’t exactly friends,” I said, trying to sound casual but the others were exchanging looks again. I could see that they didn’t exactly buy my explanation. And also, the mention of Beverley’s name made me uncomfortable again. As much as I was trying to act normal, I was aware that these were her surroundings. That I was intruding on her space. I didn’t know what I would have done or even if I would have had this conversation if she was in the office. I would have probably just turned around and walked out of the building if she was in.
“We’re just a little concerned for her. This company is like her baby,” Susan added and I turned to her and nodded my head.
“I know, and I understand, but she has made her decision to not accept a position at Lonex. So there is nothing more I can do about it,” I said and Susan licked her lips nervously. I cold see that they were all concerned, it wasn’t just Susan. Besides Beverley’s achievements at creating brilliant technology, she had also been able to connect on a personal level with her employees. They trusted and believed in her and I felt a pang of regret for buying her company. But what else could I do? She had to sell it to somebody, better me than someone else who didn’t have her best interests at heart.
Chapter 19
Beverley
I had a skip in my step when I walked to the office that day, I’d even spent some extra time getting dressed. I’d picked out my most fashionable chiffon blouse and a pair of grey pants with matching grey stilettos. My plan was to drop into the office and then call Grant and ask him out to lunch. I hadn’t exactly prepared the speech I would give him over our meal, but I was prepared to lay some of my cards on the table. I was willing to work with him and I was willing to start over. He didn’t need to know about the deep set feelings I had for him, but maybe we could start by being friends. Firstly, an apology was in order. He was trying to do a good thing and I had consistently been shooting him down.
Not to mention that I was desperate to see him again.
I walked up the stairs and pushed the office door open, not bothering to conceal the wide smile I had on my face. But my jaw fell open when the door swung into place and I stepped in.
Grant was sitting at Susan’s table, using her laptop to show something to the others. Susan, John and Sasha were crowded around him, looking at the screen over his shoulders. I had intruded on a happy comfortable scene. They were in discussion over something, and nobody seemed out of place.
When I walked in, they all looked up at me and their expressions changed because they would have noticed the look of betrayal on my face. Everyone except Grant, because his smile only grew. He looked ridiculously handsome, in a close fitting sky-blue shirt with his sleeves rolled up. His beard was thick but neatly trimmed and his blue eyes were spar
kling.
“Oh, good, Beverley, you’re here,” he said, and I noticed the twinkle in his eyes.
“What are you doing?” I demanded, slamming the door shut behind me.
“Just showing them Lonex’s software. I figured that I might as well start now,” he said and folded his arms on his chest. Susan had scrambled away, and John and Sasha stood idly by with guilty expressions on their faces.
“You’re showing them your software? I still own this company, they still work for me,” I spat the words out. I could feel the back of my neck burning up and my nostrils flaring. I couldn’t believe the freedom Grant had taken without my permission.
He seemed unaffected by the tone of my voice and instead, stood up casually from his chair.
“You signed the papers, Beverley. There’s no turning back now,” he said in the coldest voice I had ever heard him use. I was mad enough to throw something at him, and instead I only glared at him with my palms fisted.
“They still work here. And you had no right to come in here and distract them from their jobs,” I snarled and Grant arched an eyebrow.
“I was doing them the courtesy of a personal visit, acquainting them with my company,” he said and I licked my lips in anger.
“Don’t you have someone else in your company who can do that for you? You’re here only to rub my nose in it,” I said and Grant walked around Susan’s desk and stepped towards me. I took a few steps back, aware that there were three other pairs of eyes on us. On me. They had never seen me in a fit like this before.
