by S. J. Drum
“She showcased the goods and offered me everything I’ve always wanted.”
Lucy flinched, feeling a knot form in her throat making it hard to swallow the hurt his words fired through her heart. She knew Rachel was everything a man could want. Fucking Submissive Barbie and her stupid tiny waist and long legs. Damn it, she knew—
“Rachel rubbed up against me and, yeah, I kissed her.” When Lucy pushed her hands against his chest to free herself from his embrace, Dalton held firm. “I was hard, she was ready and I kissed her.” He held Lucy’s gaze, his unwavering. “And I hated every second of it, which is about how long it lasted. A few seconds was all it took for me to realize she was all wrong. Sharp where you’re smooth, fake where you’re honest. Her taste, even her fucking scent was wrong. Wrong because she wasn’t you.”
Lucy’s heart slammed against her ribcage. “I don’t understand.”
“I’m in love with you.”
Where her heart worked overtime a second before, now it paused, stuttered with her breath. “What?” No way had she heard him correctly.
“You don’t have to say it back or even feel it for me right now but you gotta know, I love you. Please tell me one mistake hasn’t damned me for a lifetime without the woman I love. That’s all it was. A few seconds, one giant-ass fuck-up, but if you forgive me I promise to spend the rest of my life making it up to you. Let me love you, Lucy. You don’t have to give anything back right now, just let me love you, take care of you, keep you safe. I want to be the one holding your hand as you face your demons. Let me love you.”
Lucy paused, breath held, and thought about all he’d said while studying his closely shaved head, earnest blue eyes and the tattoo licking a trail up his neck from the edge of his shirt. Dalton seemed content to let her think, simply holding her, watching and waiting.
On one hand, she didn’t want to seem like a pushover. Like he could run around kissing whomever he pleased and it was no big deal. On the other hand… She had put up a pretty good fight by uprooting her life, again, the moment she had become aware of his transgression. Wasn’t a week full of sleepless nights alone in a strange bed worth something? Hadn’t she spent an entire week avoiding him at all costs, even enlisting her new friends to run interference? Hadn’t she fought hard enough?
Lucy was tired of fighting. It felt as though her entire life to this point had been one battle after another and she was damn exhausted.
The coarse fiber of Dalton’s jeans rasped against her palms as she slid her hands to his waist before tucking them in his back pockets. The man had a fine ass, no argument there. She smirked when he raised one eyebrow as if in challenge.
She’d been fighting so long for the simple right to exist, to live and breathe and be free as every human had a right, it was difficult to back down once she’d taken a stand. Difficult, but not impossible.
Laying her cheek against the firmness of Dalton’s chest, she inhaled his scent of sawdust and leather and man.
Home.
Even as a child in her parents’ house, she’d never felt at home as she did while surrounded by Dalton’s arms and scent. With this realization, the answer was simple.
Lucy pulled back far enough to meet Dalton’s gaze. No one said taking a leap of faith was easy. Most things worth doing weren’t. “I love you, too. I didn’t want to, but I do.” When he opened his mouth as if to reply, she shushed him and had to smile at the sight of his lips clamping shut. “If you ever touch Rachel again, or any woman, I’ll be gone. I won’t hold what happened last week over your head, but I also won’t stick around if it happens again. I’ve had enough bad in my life. I want the good. I love you, kinky Dom and all. Show me the good.”
She watched as his eyes slid closed and his chest shuddered as if accepting all she’d said took an actual physical toll on his body. When those lids opened again, the eyes behind them shone with so much determination and heat she would have taken a step back if she hadn’t been locked within his arms.
“Darlin’, Lucy…” Dalton’s words trailed off into a groan as he pulled her hips closer, pressing the rapidly growing hardness behind his zipper against her stomach.
With a careless abandon Lucy hadn’t felt in…well, never, she used the handhold she had inside his back pockets for leverage as she moved against him. Another groan rumbled inside his chest and vibrated against the hard peaks of her nipples. Tilting her head back, she met his lips with her own, giving as good as she got.
The heat from Dalton’s body branded her everywhere they touched, the firm, slick warmth of his tongue intoxicating as it danced with her own. Before she realized she’d been picked up, her back slammed against a wall and she felt her legs reflexively wrap around his strong hips while his large hands clasped her ass. His tongue twisted against hers before retreating—but she followed, wanting more.
“Good,” Dalton growled as he pulled his kiss-swollen lips from hers. “I’ll make it good for you, darlin’, but you gotta tell me if anything freaks you out. I can tone it down, but my dominance can seem aggressive sometimes and I the last thing I want is for you to be afraid of me.”
The hesitant, wary look on his face that momentarily replaced love and lust just about broke her heart. While Lucy understood her past would still haunt her, she knew Dalton was nothing like Ross. He would never hurt her or scare her on purpose. Dalton was the strongest man she’d ever met, but right now, he needed her to be strong for him. Her man needed her acceptance, her love, to give him confidence.
She couldn’t wait to give it to him.
“Put me down,” Lucy whispered.
Dalton sighed, gently sliding her down his body and holding her until she was steady on her feet. He stepped back, reluctant but seemingly unsurprised by her reaction.
The shirt she wore was sleeveless with pearl snap buttons. Lucy thought it adorable paired with the jean shorts adorned with lace that she wore. When the sound of the first pearl snap being released rent the air, Dalton’s head snapped up from where it’d been hanging low, and his eyes narrowed on her.
With deliberate slowness, Lucy removed her shirt, letting it drop to the floor. Her bra followed. She toed off her sandals and slid her shorts and panties off in succession. The clenching of Dalton’s jaw might have scared her but she knew he wasn’t angry, but holding back, anticipating. This huge, beautiful, powerful man who could have any woman he pleased wanted Lucy, badly. The heady rush made her feel invincible.
She clasped her hands behind her back and looked up at him through lowered lashes. “Tell me what you want, Dalton.” When he hesitated, she implored. “I trust you. Trust me enough to know I’ll tell you if I’m not okay with what we do.”
Chapter Nineteen
Dalton struggled with indecision until he remembered Jed’s words of advice. Tip-toeing around Lucy wouldn’t get either of them to where they wanted to be. He needed to show her how a D/s situation could actually give her more control. Fear of doing something that would send Lucy running made him nervous. He wanted this to be perfect.
Lucy stood with her hands clasped behind her back, pushing her pink nipples forward in offering, her gaze heavy lidded as it raked over him. She licked her lips and Dalton felt an answering twitch behind his zipper.
“I’ve read about this sort of thing, dominance and submission, but I don’t have any real life experience.” Lucy’s voice was husky and, as she spoke, a blush began on her chest and rose to her cheeks. “At least, I don’t have experience with the healthy kind of dominance and submission.” She released a self-deprecating laugh. “Don’t I need to pick a safe word or something? Is there a five-page contract tucked into your pocket I need to check mark my ‘dos and don’ts’ on?”
Some of the worry lifted from Dalton’s shoulders. His woman, always witty, even when standing naked in a room with a fully clothed man twice her size.
“No, darlin’. No safe word for now. It may be something we discuss later, but at this point, if you tell me to stop or say no t
o anything, I’ll stop. If you’re uncomfortable but don’t want to stop altogether, I want you to speak up then too.” Dalton stepped close to Lucy and set his hands on her smooth, soft shoulders. “You will be trusting me with our pleasure, but you have ultimate control. While I want to push your boundaries, I never want you to hurt in a way which doesn’t provide pleasure. You should never fear anything we do to the extent your pleasure doesn’t override your apprehension.”
Lucy’s lips parted, her breaths coming in shallow pants. Her eyes, now more blue than gray, watched him from beneath her lashes.
Dalton framed her face with his hands, enjoying the creamy texture of her flesh beneath his palms. “Do you understand, Lucy? At any time, if you feel uncomfortable, I want you to speak up. I will not be mad if you tell me you don’t like something or aren’t ready for it. Never fear my reaction. Even if my cock is poised at your entrance, ready to plunge inside for the first stroke, you can tell me to stop and I will. I’ll never be upset with you for expressing your feelings. Do you understand?”
Lucy nodded.
“I need to hear the words, darlin’.”
“Yes, I understand. If…if I say ‘stop’, you’ll stop. And you won’t hurt me.” Lucy whispered the words as if she could hardly believe them to be truthful.
Dalton pulled her into a hug, wrapping his arms around her bare back and feeling her breasts press against his chest. He rubbed his chin against her hair and wished he could erase every moment of hurt she’d endured, every injury and every harsh word. “You ready?”
He felt her nod against his chest.
Dalton stepped back, steeling himself for what he needed to do first. Many first-timers thought they were ready to act as a submissive but became so overwhelmed in the experience they wouldn’t voice their concerns or say their safe word, if they had one, when things went too far. He needed to test Lucy.
He unbuckled his belt and, with slow movements, he pulled it from the loops on his jeans before placing it on the desk. He watched her eyes flicker to the coiled leather belt, to his face, and back again. After removing his clothing and boots, he picked up his belt, snapping it between his hands. His expression schooled, he conjured his implacable Dom voice. “Bend over the desk.”
Lucy’s eyes widened. “You’re not going to hit me with that, are you?” She backed up a step. “I’m not ready for that. I might never be ready.”
Dalton allowed his pride in her reaction to show. “Very good, Lucy.” His woman never ceased surprising him. She’d passed his test. “That was your first lesson. How to say ‘no’.”
Lucy stopped her retreat and her relief was so palpable he could almost see the tension draining from her muscles. “So glad to please you, professor,” she quipped, giving him a saucy wink.
“Sir,” Dalton replied, his tone low and rife with command.
Lucy tilted her head in question. “What?”
“‘Sir’, not ‘professor’.”
Dalton watched her eyes narrow for a fraction of a second before they widened and lit with understanding.
“Now that I’ve passed your test, Sir, what would you like me to do?”
Dalton gripped his shaft in one hand while still holding the supple leather belt in his other. He studied his sub, his woman, noting her taut nipples, dilated pupils and flushed skin. She was ready to begin. “Bend over the desk and stretch your arms in front of you. Grip the edge.”
When she paused before moving to comply, he softened his voice and reassured her. “I won’t be striking you with the belt, my hand or anything else. I promise.”
Lucy pushed the laptop computer on her desk to the side and bent forward, pressing her bare breasts to the gleaming wooden top and curling her fingers around the front edge of the desk. Dalton clenched his jaw and an involuntary rumbling sounded from deep within his chest. At the sight of her plump, creamy white ass tilted up, bare pussy on display, glistening and ready, a pearl of pre-cum appeared on the tip of his shaft and his balls drew tighter.
One hand pumped his shaft slowly from base to tip while he used the other to stroke Lucy’s rounded cheeks, paying special attention to the crease beneath each where ass met thigh. Each time he traced the line between her ass and thigh, drawing close to her center but never touching her where she wanted it most, Lucy responded with a needy whimper.
He wanted to catalog every dip, every curve and scar and freckle on her body. Never had he spent this much time studying a woman’s body before getting down to business. With this woman, though, he wanted the memory crisp around the edges and seared into his brain for later playback.
Releasing his shaft, he used both hands to smooth a trail over her lower back, around to her sides and over her ribs. As his hands slid over the sides of her belly, he felt Lucy tense. Continuing his gentle ministrations, he asked, “What’s going on inside that head of yours? Why don’t you want me touching you here?” He kneaded her sides just below her ribs to emphasize his point.
“Um.” Her voice cracked. She cleared her throat and began again. “It’s…well…I’m not sure why you would want to touch me there.”
“Explain.”
“I’d rather you concentrate on the good parts of me.”
“Darlin’, all your parts are good.”
“You want me to say it? Fine.” Lucy released the edge of the desk, drew her hands back toward her chest and used them as leverage to push away from the desk and turn enough to spear him with a glare. “I’m chubby. My body is so far away from Submissive Barbie’s body an airplane is needed to travel between the two.” When Dalton would have interrupted, Lucy cut him off. “And don’t you dare say something stupid like I’ve ‘just got extra cushion for the pushin’ or ‘there’s just more of me to love’. So help me God, if you say something like that I will kick your ass.”
Dalton chuckled at her tirade. This had obviously been bothering her a while. Her being naked and bent over in front of him definitely made arguing more fun. He ran his hands over her hips, grabbing a handful of each and using his grip to hold her steady as he pressed the evidence of his arousal against the cleft of her ass. “Feel what you do to me? I fucking love your curves.”
Though she gasped and shivered when his hips grinding against her ass caused her clit to press against the edge of the desk, she continued listing her grievances. “Curves. Ever read an ad for a rental place where the apartment is described as charming and you immediately know by ‘charming’ they mean it’s tiny and in need of repairs? ‘Curvy’ is just a polite euphemism for fat. You can love my curves, I’m glad you do, but please don’t ever call me curvy.”
Using his much larger body, Dalton bent over Lucy, pressing his chest to her back, caging her in and causing her to lie flat against the surface of the desk once more. He extended his arms, wrapping his fingers around hers and pushing them back over her head. Not wanting to restrict her breathing, he was careful of how much of his weight he allowed her to feel. With his mouth close to her ear and his chin tucked into the bend of her neck, he growled, “You’re right. Your body is nothing like Rachel’s.”
He watched Lucy squeeze her eyes shut and hated causing her emotional pain but his point needed to be made.
“I’m not blind or delusional. You’re bigger than the women I’ve been with in the past.”
A tear leaked from Lucy’s eye and ran over the bridge of her nose. He squeezed her hands in reassurance.
“I see your scars, inside and out. I wish I could erase them, not because they mar your beautiful skin but because the sight of them causes you pain. I see you clearly as you are and you’re the only woman I want beside me in life and under me in bed. Your body is smooth where a skinny woman’s is sharp, soft where hers is hard. If I take you out to dinner, you’ll eat a steak with me instead of starving yourself or worse, running to the bathroom to puke it up while I pay the bill. I love every single way you’re different than the women in my past. I love you, Lucy, as I’ve never loved anyone before.”
“Okay,” he repeated.
“Just so you know, you’re different than any man I’ve been with, too.”
Levering himself up, he pushed away from her back and straightened. “Yeah?”
Peeking over her shoulder, a sparkle replaced the tears in her eyes and Dalton knew she was ready to lighten the mood. “Want to know how you’re different?” Her eyes strayed to his groin and the impressive erection cradled there.
He laughed and raised a brow for her to continue.
“Your dick is so much sma—”
Dalton mock growled and flipped her over onto her back while she dissolved in a fit of giggles that thankfully didn’t allow her to finish her sentence. “You’re in trouble now, darlin’.”
He kissed her, filling the simple act with enough passion and possession to end her giggling. After ending the kiss, he withdrew, retrieved his discarded leather belt and wrapped the length around her wrists, all while retaining eye contact with Lucy. Once he was satisfied that her wrists were properly bound, tight enough to restrict but not tight enough to cause damage, he pushed them over her head so she was stretched out before him. “Don’t move your hands. No matter what, keep them right there, understand?”
On a sigh, Lucy said, “Yes, Sir.”
Lips parted, breaths coming in fast, shallow pants and passion glazed eyes transformed Lucy’s image from a timid abuse survivor into a sensual goddess. Dalton couldn’t wait any longer.
“You ready for me, darlin’?” Dalton slid a hand between her thighs, testing her readiness with two fingers while applying pressure to her clit with his thumb. Her hips jerked upward at the contact. “I need to be inside you, Lucy.”
“And I need you there.”
Not wasting another moment, Dalton snagged a condom from his pants pocket and rolled it over his painfully hard dick. Grabbing Lucy’s hips, he positioned himself and thrust inside her in one swift movement that caused a moan to slide from his lips, accompanying Lucy’s gasp.
