by Lori Wick
153”Hannah,” her mother spoke quietly when she went back down the stairs. “Go find Doctor Ertz. Tell him he’s needed here at the store. If you can’t find him,” Jessie began and then stopped. “Whether or not you find him, go tell Rylan that Seth is sick. Leave messages for people if you can’t talk to them directly. Do you understand?”
Hannah nodded, and Jessie knew she could trust her. Her daughter had been running errands and delivering messages for her for a very long time. She was efficient and serious about such tasks.
Clancy had stayed quiet during the exchange between Jessie and Hannah, but as soon as Hannah left she spoke. “Where is Seth?” “He’s in bed upstairs.”
“I want to go up.”
“You can, but you must not get near the bed or try to talk to Seth. He’s sick.”
“What if he needs something?”
“Come and tell me. Do not try to do anything on your own, anddo notask him questions.”
Clancy, sensing for once that all was not well, slipped quietly up the stairs. She found the bedroom door open and Seth very quiet on the bed. There was a chair by the door, and Clancy sat in it. She willed Seth to wake up and talk to her, but he didn’t move. She wanted to talk more about reading and the book Hannah was going to read to them that very day. It didn’t occur to her that Seth would not be up for reading for several days to come, so the little girl continued to sit and wait.
“Can you hear me, Seth?” Rylan asked that man about an hour after he climbed into bed.
“Rylan?”
“Yes. How are you?”
154”My head hurts.”
“Doctor Ertz has been here. He says the sickness could last several days.”
“His hands were cold,” Seth mumbled and was gone again.
Rylan looked over at Jessie, who stood at the footboard. “Do you want me to try to move him to my house?”
“No, Rylan. The girls and I can keep track of him.”
“He might have needs, Jessie,” Rylan stated bluntly without elaborating.
Jessie shrugged, and Rylan knew that she would be up for anything. Clancy peeked around the corner where Jessie had sent her when they came up. Rylan spotted the action, and both adults went that way.
“Hannah was going to read to Seth and me,” she said, her own interest still very much on her mind.
“Not today she’s not. Maybe this evening Hannah can read to you and me, but Seth isn’t going to be up for company today.”
Clancy did not look pleased over this, but Jessie had been gone from the store long enough and had to get back. Thanking Rylan, who exited through the storeroom, she went downstairs to check on Hannah and found her with Jeanette. They were getting along fine, but as soon as Jeanette left with her purchases, Hannah’s next errand was to run to Camille Pallin’s home. Lately, if Jeb was not available to help, Jessie sometimes called on Camille. Thinking about the man upstairs, Jessie knew she might very well need her in the next few days.
“I thought you would be in bed,” Becky said to Heather when she found that lady in the kitchen much later that evening.
“I’m just having a last cup of tea.”
“Can’t sleep?”
“Too many thoughts.”
“I shouldn’t have said to you anything about Sheriff Nate,” Becky said, her voice telling of her disgust.
155”I’m glad you did.”
“Why?”
“I need to think about it. I need to be aware of others and their feelings.”
“You never saw it, Heather?” Becky asked again. “You really never noticed?”
“No. I thought you and Jeanette were kidding.”
The women fell silent for a moment. Becky had made her own cup of tea, and they sat at the kitchen table, just one,lantern burning.
“Are you afraid of getting hurt or giving the hurt?” Becky asked very gently, and Heather turned to stare at her.
“Iamafraid,” Heather whispered, the full realization hitting her. “I’m being governed by fear right now. I just saw it.”
Becky’s humility since her belief in Christ was obvious to everyone who knew her. That woman now leaned forward a little, her face alive with interest. “What will you do, Heather-just pray or something more?”
“I will pray, Becky, but I also must call the fear by its correct name: sin. I’m sinning against God when I fear in this way.”
“What other kind of fear is there?”
“The kind that means awe and respect. The fear I have for God and His authority is all right; it’s very good.Butthe other kind, the one you just put your finger on, is all wrong.”
“Let’s pray about it right now,” Becky suggested, and the women did just that. Their tea forgotten, the hour a nonissue, these two old friends bowed their heads and confessed their great need to God. They did not leave the kitchen to seek their rest until all was repented of and settled.
“Here, Seth,” Jessie coaxed that night. “Drink some of this.”
Seth complied, but the effort cost him. The doctor had said to keep water in him, and Jessie was doing her best. Seth’s eyes opened after he drank. Seeing this, Jessie got a little more water into him.
156”How’s the head?” she asked, carefully mopping the water from his chin.
“Bad.”
“Has this happened before?”
“Never. It’s hot in here.”
“I think it’s you,” Jessie said, rolling the covers off his chest a bit. Not until she did this did Jessie notice a scar on the side of his chest that she’d never seen before. Seth’s eyes were closed again, so Jessie didn’t try to ask him. For a moment she reached out and touched the old wound.
Not wanting to get her mind going on all the possibilities, Jessie blew out the lantern and headed from the room. It might prove to be a short night, but she needed as much sleep as she could manage. Climbing in beside the girls in her own bed, she was asleep in less than a minute.
a
I can stay all morninghad been Camille’s words.
Jessie thought they sounded like music. She had sent the girls to be with Bri and then returned to Seth’s side. That man had had a pretty good night, but his skin was very warm and Jessie, weary from interrupted sleep, took turns dozing in a chair and bathing Seth’s face and chest with cool water.
Rylan visited again, bringing a pot of food Bri had made. Doctor Ertz made another appearance as well with no change in treatment. Not until almost noon did Seth wake and say something.
“Hannah?”
“She’s not here,” Jessie said, standing so he could see her. “Did she read to me?”
“Not yet. I’ll tell her you’re looking forward to it.”
“She’s so sweet.”
“Yes, she is.”
“Where?”
“She and Clancy went to Bri’s.”
157Seth managed a smile.
“They love Danny.”
When Jessie saw that she was losing him again, she coaxed a bit more water into him. He drank several good swallows before he fell back to sleep. Not until Jessie tried to move to put the water back on the table did she realize Seth had a fistful of her skirt in his hand. It took her fingers to unwrap his, and when she returned his arm to the bed, he rolled to his side and slept deeply.
Jessie sank back into her chair, no longer needing to sleep but weary with wondering what their relationship would be like in the future. Lately it seemed to be all she thought about. She didn’t want Seth back in her life, but he was here, and she wanted to make the best of it. Her curiosity over what he’d done and all the places he’d lived was not so she could hold it against him but because she didn’t like surprises. She wanted all the details on the table, not coming out in bits and pieces for years.
Years.The word lingered in her mind. Would he be here for years? That was probably his plan. The girls would need him for years; that was certainly true. They were little more than babies right now. When they grew enough to start noticing b
oys, they would need their father’s help in a way she couldn’t give.
Even her mother had been wise about that. She had sent Jessie at 13 years of age to have a talk with her father. Some of the things Hiram Wheeler had shared with his daughter had been rather frightening, but they’d also made her aware and wary. It had not been a stroke of luck or coincidence that Seth was the first man she’d ever been involved with. It had been by choice. She had kissed a few boys behind the schoolhouse-only kissed them-and those relationships had not been ongoing or serious. Serious had come many years later, and that was with the man lying sick in the bed. A man she didn’t know quite how to handle.
158”How are you holding up?” Rylan asked his wife when Dannywas down for a nap and the girls were drawing on paper in the living room.
“Fine. They’re awfully fun and sweet. I’ve never been asked so many questions in one day. In fact I plan to find out how glass is made because I don’t know either.”
Simply delighted by her, Rylan bent and kissed Bri’s mouth. “What was that for?”
“You’re still special.”
Bri looked at him, working to figure this out but unable to.
“Did I never tell you how often I said that to Chas after you came to town?” Rylan asked.
“I don’t think you did.”
“I said it just about every time he checked with me.”
“That I was special?” Bri clarified.
“Urn hm,” Rylan said, leaning to kiss her again. “And I was right.”
Bri put her arms around her husband and held him close. Rylan held her back, neither one aware of the two sets of small eyes watching them with studied interest from the living room.
“Is Seth all right?” Clancy asked when Rylan delivered the girls back at the end of the day.
“He’s still sleeping, but his fever is down.”
“Can we see him?”
“Yes, but stay back away from the bed and don’t ask questions.” The girls started to run through the store, and Jessie told them to slow down. She then turned to Rylan.
“Please thank Bri for me.”
“I’ll do that. I know she had fun.”
“Did they question her to death?”
“Yes, but she didn’t mind.” Rylan had to laugh before adding, “She said she’s going to find out how glass is made because they wanted to know and now she wants to know too.”
159Jessie joined Rylan in laughter and then thanked him again. Rylan said he would check on Seth the next day. Jessie locked the door behind him and took a few minutes to put the store to rights. By the time she went upstairs to the apartment, the girls were sharing the chair in Seth’s room.
“Has he been awake?” Jessie asked quietly.
“No. He even snored a little.”
Jessie had to smile at them. Their faces were serious, and she could see they wanted him to wake up in the worst way.
“Can he live here?” Hannah suddenly asked.
“You mean all the time?” Jessie asked to buy some time to think.
The little girl nodded but didn’t look at her mother. Jessie hoped against all odds that meant it was a passing thought. She told the girls she was going to work on supper and was able to leave without gaining comment from either of them.
160
“I’VE MADE SOME BROTHfor you,” Jessie said when Seth’s eyes opened later that night. “Do you think you can manage it?”
“I’ll try”
“Is the pain better?”
“Yes. I’m tired.”
“I’ll heat the broth and wake you if you fall back to sleep.” “Did I miss the girls again?”
“Yes, they’re asleep,” Jessie said, leaving without telling him how long they had sat in that chair and waited for him to stir. She went to the kitchen to heat the broth and thought about what Hannah had asked. She remembered that Clancy had said something about Seth living with them the first time she met her father. Seth had handled that very well. Half of her hoped that Hannah would bring the topic up again in Seth’s company. She was almost certain to mention it, and some part of Jessie wanted to know what Seth would say.
“Seth.” Jessie called his name, holding the mug of warm broth. She ended up having to set it down so she could prop him up on his pillow. This woke him, “Here, drink this.”
Seth did as he was told and then thanked her wearily. Jessie got quite a bit into him before he started to fall off again. Jessie was sure
161she’d seen the last of him, but his-eyes suddenly opened and found her.
“I’m sorry for all the trouble, Jessie.”
“It’s all right. You didn’t mean to get sick.”
“Tell the girls I miss them.”
“I will.”
For a moment they looked at each other, and then Jessie asked, “Do you pray at times like this?”
“Yes.”
“What did you pray?”
“I just asked for help. The pain was pretty bad, and I didn’t know quite what to do with it.”
“And do you think God helped you?” Jessie asked, not able to disguise the skepticism in her voice.
“I didn’t instantly feel better if that’s what you mean, but I had peace. Each time my mind prayed, even in the worst of the pain, I knew peace.”
Jessie hadn’t expected this and was surprised. She even had more questions she wanted to ask, but Seth’s eyes were closed again. Leaving the room, she knew he would have a better night, which meant she would too. But unlike Seth, there was no peace for her. Questions rolled through her mind, and she didn’t feel she had answers for any of them.
“You look better,” Rylan said when he visited the next afternoon. Seth was awake and sitting up against the pillows and headboard. There was little color in his face, and his messy hair and unshaved face were uncharacteristic for him, but he did look as though he was on the mend.
“I am, thank you. It was a rough one.”
“We’ve been praying for you,” Rylan said.
“Thank you,” Seth replied, and then realized he’d said that too fast. He wanted to know more. “What did you pray, Rylan?”
162”That you would trust God no matter how poorly you felt, and that pleasing Him would be more important even than feeling better.”
The look of surprise and then thoughtfulness on Seth’s face was not something Rylan could ignore.
“How did you do?” Rylan asked.
“In the midst of it, I just asked for His help, but now that I can tell I’m getting better, I simply want to feel good enough to get out of this bed.”
“Well, that’s an honest feeling, but why do you want to get out of this bed? If it’s simply to mend and get past the inconvenience of being sick, you’re missing something.”
“There’s so much I don’t know,” Seth admitted quietly. “I still think more about myself than anyone else.”
“That’s a common temptation. God wants to be in the center and we need to get rid of anything that pushes Him out of the center. He won’t stand for any other place.”
Seth nodded before saying, “I did remember to thank Him that I was sick, knowing He had a plan.”
“That’s good. Keep that up. For however long this has you down, keep thanking God for that plan.”
Rylan might have had something to add to this, Seth could not be sure, but Clancy took that moment to join them. He enjoyed seeing his daughter, and Rylan left before Clancy did, but Seth determined to get back to the pastor on the topic they’d been on. He knew he had more to learn about thankfulness and God’s plan, and he knew Rylan was just the man to teach him.
By the time Jessie got to the apartment on Friday night, the girls were fully ensconced with their father. He was against the headboard of the bed. Hannah had claimed the footboard. Clancy was somewhere in the middle.
“You can walk with us if you want,” Hannah was saying.
163”I’d like that. What time do you have to be there?”
“Mama a
lways sends us,” the older girl answered. “I don’t know the time.”
“Where do I send you?” Jessie asked.
“To school! Seth is going to walk with us.”
“That’s nice of him. Does he know you’ll talk his ear off?” Jessie teased Hannah, and the little girl smiled.
“Did you talk about it?” Clancy suddenly asked. “Is Seth going to live here?”
Seth’s eyes naturally swung to Jessie, but that lady was looking at her daughters. All plans to see what Seth would say flew from her head.
“I’ll discuss it with him tonight, and you’re not to ask me about it40times. Come on now and help me with supper.”
Seth found himself alone just moments later, wondering what else he’d missed in the last four days.
“What do I do now?” Heather asked during supper. “Sunday is coming. How do I proceed from here, knowing what I know?” “What do you want to do?” Becky asked.
“Yes, Heather,” Jeanette added. “Are you interested in Nate?”
“If you mean in a personal relationship, I don’t know, but I’m not going to be able to find out unless I talk with him.” Heather paused and went on. “And that brings up another point. How is he interested in me when he doesn’t know me?”
“He’s watched you, Heather,” Jeanette said, “and your reputation has gone before you. He might find that you don’t really share the same likes and interests, but he’s willing to get close because he can see how special you are.”
“You want her to marry Nate, don’t you, Jeanette?” Becky asked. “If she falls in love with him, yes. I think they would make a wonderful couple.”
“But then she’ll move from here,” Becky added quietly.
164No one commented or answered. It was too soon for such thoughts, but the very nature of the conversation meant that it would have to come up again at some point. It simply wasn’t a topic that anyone at the supper table wanted to think about.
“I think I can come down in the morning, Jessie,” Seth said when all got quiet that evening. Seth had made it to the living room for supper and was still sitting on the sofa. “I might not make it all day, but I can give you a little help.”
