by Marta Perry
“If wishes were horses, beggars would ride,” Aunt Elly said firmly. “This doesn’t take wishing. It takes doing something about.”
“I agree.” Grant stood up, his palms braced on the table. “You saw Joey’s face when he realized his mother wasn’t going to come. We have to do something.”
She pushed away the sense that they’d both turned against her. They wanted what was best for the children—she knew that. “I know.” She rubbed at the ache that had begun in her temples. “I’d hoped and prayed Nella would come back on her own, but I’ve let it go on too long. I’ll have to go after her.”
Grant caught her arm, swinging her to face him. “What do you mean, go after her? Do you mean to say you’ve known all along where she is?”
“Not exactly.” Her heart sank. As if everything else wasn’t enough, she’d given Grant one more reason to distrust her. “I have an idea, that’s all. About a place where Nella used to live. That’s where her letters have been postmarked.”
“I see.” His face had tightened to an impenetrable mask. “You didn’t bother telling me that.”
She didn’t have any response that would make a difference in what he thought.
“I’ll go and find her. I’ll leave first thing in the morning.”
“Good.” Grant’s expression didn’t change. It was still armored against her. “And I’m going with you.”
Grant gripped the steering wheel as he waited for Maggie to come back out of the roadside café. They’d closed the clinic for the day and left early. The drive to West Virginia had been done mostly in silence. He hadn’t known what to say to Maggie that wouldn’t make him angry all over again that she hadn’t told him.
The sight of Joey being so brave about his disappointment had ripped through his heart. It was as if being in Button Gap had stripped away his professional barriers, making him vulnerable to the child’s pain in an intensely personal way.
He didn’t like being vulnerable. Of course he had to care for his patients as a physician, but he’d always kept that solid, professional shield in place. It was the only way he knew to go on functioning.
Maggie came out of the café, juggling two foam coffee cups. He reached across to open the car door for her, and she handed him one.
“No luck,” she said, sliding into her seat. “No one there has seen Nella.”
He took a sip of the coffee, then consulted the map he’d put on the dashboard. “We’ll be in Brampton in another half hour. It looks like a decent-size town. How do you propose we look for Nella?”
He could feel the caution in her gaze. This was the most he’d said to her in hours.
“I thought we’d start with the phone book. Nella’s maiden name was Johnson—unfortunately pretty common, but maybe we’ll hit some relatives.”
“You’re not thinking of just phoning them, are you? If she’s hiding, it would be too easy for them to say they hadn’t heard from her.”
She shook her head. “No, I figure we’ll have to go to every address we can find.”
“And if that doesn’t work?” He had to keep pushing, in case there was something else she hadn’t told him.
“The only job Nella’s ever had is waitressing. We’ll just have to start working our way through the restaurants and cafés.”
He started the car and pulled onto the highway. “That could take days.” He didn’t relish spending his time poking around a strange town, looking for a woman he’d never met. “Maybe we should have called in a private investigator. Or the authorities.”
“No!” Her glare singed him. “You agreed to give me a chance to find her first. And if you think this is a waste of your time, you didn’t have to come.”
“Yes, I did have to come. I couldn’t trust you to do this on your own.”
The words hung in the arm between them like an indictment, and he saw her wince. Well, that was how he felt. Maggie hadn’t told him any more of the truth than she’d been forced to, and he’d swallowed every word.
She was silent for so long that he didn’t think she’d respond. Then she set her cup carefully into the holder and clasped her hands in her lap.
“I’m sorry. I know I should have told you.”
“Yes. You should have.” He wasn’t in a mood to make this easy for her.
“Why?” She fired the word at him. “You’re saying I should have trusted you with Nella’s whereabouts. Why? All you’ve been able to say since you found out about the kids is that I should turn them over to the authorities.”
“That’s not fair, Maggie. I agreed to wait, in spite of the danger to the clinic.”
“That’s another thing. I thought you preferred to know as little as possible. At least that way you’re not implicated personally.”
He clenched the steering wheel, because what he’d like to do was grab Maggie and shake her. “I became involved the minute the clinic did. You know that.”
He glanced at her. She was leaning forward, staring out the windshield, as if willing the car to go faster.
“All right, the clinic is involved,” she said finally. “But you’re asking why I didn’t trust you.” Her hands gripped each other tightly. “Rely on you. And I guess the answer is that I don’t rely on people easily.”
“You trusted the rest of Button Gap. Everyone in town knew but me.”
“I’ve known them most of my life. I’ve only known you a few weeks, and even if—” She stopped, turning her face away from him.
How had she intended to finish that sentence? Even if you kissed me? Even if I care for you?
He pulled away from that line of thought. It couldn’t go anywhere.
“Look, I know how much you care about those kids. I understand why you don’t trust the system. But they’re not the only ones involved. How will everyone else in Button Gap get along if the clinic closes?”
“That’s not fair. Everyone agreed to help.”
“Sure they did. But you and I are the professionals. We’re the ones who know the rules. If someone gets blamed for this, it will be us. And the clinic.” They’d traveled full circle, and it didn’t seem they were any closer.
“We won’t let that happen.” She turned toward him. “For everyone’s sake, we have to find Nella. And we will find her.”
“I hope you’re right, Maggie.” He glanced in the rearview mirror to change lanes. “Because here’s the exit, and I’ve got to say I don’t feel all that confident.”
A few hours later, Maggie’s confidence had begun to fade. She tried to pump it up, but it was useless. They were down to the last Johnson in the phone book, and the afternoon was wearing on. If this one didn’t know anything, it would be time to start checking on restaurants, and that hope seemed more futile as the hours passed.
Maybe Grant had been right. She glanced at him as he pulled to the curb in front of the cottage listed to a Mrs. Helen Johnson. A private investigator would have done this better, but she didn’t have the money to pay one.
Grant did. He hadn’t offered, and she wouldn’t ask.
He got out. “Are you coming?”
“Of course.” She tried to put some energy into her steps as she got out and started up the walk. Grant had been doubtful all along. She couldn’t let him guess that she didn’t feel so sure of success, either.
She knocked on the door, taking a quick look around. The cottage seemed to sag into itself, as if it had given up a long time ago. She knocked again, and the graying lace curtain on the window twitched.
“Mrs. Johnson?” she called. “Can you come to the door, please?”
She heard shuffling footsteps from inside that moved slowly toward the door. Next to her, Grant shifted his weight from one foot to the other. Impatient.
The door creaked open a few inches, displaying a safety chain and beyond it, a small, wrinkled face topped by scanty white hair.
“What do you want? If you’re collecting for something, I can’t afford to give.”
“We’re not collecting for anything, Mrs.
Johnson.” She tried a reassuring smile. “We’re looking for someone we thought you might know. Nella Johnson Bascom.”
“Don’t know her.”
The door started to swing shut, but Maggie got her foot into the space, something in the woman’s tone triggering a nerve.
“Think hard, Mrs. Johnson. Isn’t Nella a relative of yours?”
Caution flickered in the woman’s faded eyes. “Never heard of her.”
She knew something. Maggie wasn’t sure how she knew, but she did. “Come on, now. I know she came to see you.”
“I don’t know nothing, I tell you.” The querulous voice rose. “Now get away before I call the police.”
“Maggie—”
She could tell by Grant’s tone that he was picturing them ending the day in jail. He took her arm.
“Just another minute.” She leaned close to the door. “Please, Mrs. Johnson. If you won’t talk to us, talk to Nella. Tell her that Maggie was here. Tell her that her kids need her. Tell her to come home.”
The woman blinked slowly, as if taking it all in, and then shook her head. “I told you. I don’t know her.”
“Come on.” Grant tugged at her arm. “You might want to get arrested, but I don’t.”
Reluctantly she took her foot from the door. “Please. Tell her.”
The door slammed shut.
Maggie bit her lip. “She knew something. I could tell. Couldn’t you?”
Grant shrugged as he piloted her off the porch. “Maybe. But you can’t force her to talk.” He led her down the walk and opened the car door, frowned as if about to say something she wouldn’t like, and then shrugged. “Let’s go try some restaurants.”
Over the next few hours they worked their way up one side of the town’s small business district and down the other. Maggie’s optimism flagged along with her energy. Nella, where are you?
Grant pulled into the parking lot of yet another restaurant.
“This looks like a decent place.” He held the door for her. “Let’s order dinner while we make inquiries. I think we need to regroup.”
The restaurant’s interior was warm and candlelit after the chilly dampness outside. Maggie slipped her coat off as Grant consulted with the hostess and showed her the photo of Nella. The woman shook her head.
Grant hung her coat and his on the wall rack as the hostess picked up menus.
“Nothing?”
“She didn’t recognize her.” Grant touched her arm, maybe in sympathy, as they followed the hostess to a table.
Maggie wilted into the padded chair. “I don’t know what else to suggest. I’ve wasted our time.”
“Not necessarily. Maybe you were right about that Johnson woman. She might give Nella your message.”
“And I might have been totally off base.” She leaned her forehead on her hand.
“You’ll feel better when you’ve had something to eat.” He handed her a menu. “Pick something, or I’ll do it for you.”
“I thought you were only bossy in the clinic.” She scanned the menu.
“No, that’s my natural state.” He smiled, as if he’d somehow gained the confidence she’d lost. “We’re not licked yet.”
She started to say she wished she could be so sure, but the waitress came to take their order and the moment was gone.
Grant steered the conversation to non-Nella topics while they ate, as if determined to have their meal without arguing. It was only when they lingered over coffee that he gave her a long, serious look.
“You’re losing hope, aren’t you?”
A lump formed in her throat. “I don’t want to. I still hope Nella will come back. She said so in her note. Doesn’t that show that she intends to return?”
Maybe it was the flickering candlelight that softened his firm features. He almost looked sorry for her.
“I don’t know. You forget, I don’t know Nella.”
“You know her children. They’re a reflection of her. Everything good in them came from Nella. It surely didn’t come from that worthless husband of hers.”
“They’re good kids.” He hesitated, making small circles on the white tablecloth with his coffee spoon. “But you have to remember that Nella spent a lot of years in a terrible situation. Maybe she just doesn’t have it in her to keep on struggling.”
“I don’t believe that. I can’t.” She thought of her mother, and tension gripped her throat.
He dropped the spoon and put his hand over hers, warming her. “I know. Believe me, I hope you’re right about Nella. But how much longer can we hope to hide those children from the authorities?”
“We can’t give up yet.” She wasn’t sure any more whether she was hanging on by conviction or plain stubbornness. “We can’t.”
“A little while ago you looked ready to.”
“As you said, I needed to eat. And I guess, in the back of my mind, I always felt sure I could find Nella if I had to. Not finding her today rocked me.”
She pulled out the picture of Nella with the children and put it on the table, as if it might speak to her.
“I can’t give up,” she said firmly. “Those kids deserve someone who believes.”
The server came back with Grant’s credit card receipt, and he absently put out his hand for it. “It was a good guess that Nella might be here. We just—”
The woman leaned over, staring at the photo. “Hey, that’s Nella Bascom and her kids. Are you folks friends of hers?”
Maggie caught the woman’s hand. “You know Nella?”
The server looked taken aback at the intensity in Maggie’s voice. “Why? She in some kind of trouble?”
“No trouble,” Grant said quickly. “We’re friends of hers. I asked the hostess about Nella, but she didn’t recognize her.”
The waitress sniffed. “’Course not. Lisa, she only works a couple evenings a week. Nella’s on days.”
“We’ve been trying to reach her, but I lost her phone number.” Maggie tried to keep the tension out of her tone. “Do you happen to know where she is?”
She held her breath while the woman looked her over, then Grant.
“Well, I’d like to help you,” she said finally. “Thing is, Nella’s not here anymore.”
“Not here?” The words seemed to strangle her.
The waitress shook her head. “Manager said she called in yesterday. Said she wouldn’t be able to work anymore. Said she was leaving town.”
Maggie sank back in the chair, vaguely hearing Grant ask another question or two. No, the woman didn’t know where Nella had gone. She’d just left, that’s all.
She’d left. Maggie tried to believe that meant Nella was on her way home, but somehow she couldn’t. Nella had gone. There was no place else to look. She’d failed.
Chapter Eleven
Grant just sat for a moment, trying to decipher the expression on Maggie’s face. In spite of her brave words, she looked nearer to defeat than he’d ever seen her.
He ought to be relieved, in a way. Their quest for Nella had failed, and Maggie would have to admit that there was nothing left to do but turn the whole situation over to the authorities and try to salvage what remained of the clinic’s reputation.
He wasn’t relieved. Frustrated, upset—but not relieved. How could he be, when the children’s future hung in the balance along with that of the clinic?
He scribbled his name on the credit card receipt and vented his frustration by shoving his chair back. “Let’s go. We can’t do anything else here.”
Maggie didn’t move. Maybe she was numb, but in an odd way it made him angry. He’d rather Maggie fought him than sit there looking lost.
She let him help her on with her coat, let him take her arm as they went to the car. She got in, and he slammed the door with a little unnecessary emphasis. He felt her gaze on him as he got behind the wheel and turned the key.
He didn’t attempt to pull out. He frowned at the heater, which was making a brave effort to put forth something besides c
old air, then transferred the frown to Maggie. She was huddled in her coat, hands tucked into her pockets.
“I don’t suppose there’s any chance Nella’s on her way home.”
Maggie’s shoulders moved slightly. “I’d like to think that. But if she left yesterday, where is she?”
He discovered he was looking for something hopeful to say, as if he and Maggie had traded places. “If she took the bus, she wouldn’t make the time that we did driving.”
“Even so, she’d surely have gotten there by now.” Maggie massaged her temples. “And if she had, Aunt Elly would have called. She has my cell phone number.”
He bounced his fist against the steering wheel. It didn’t help. “We’ve wasted the day, then.”
“You didn’t have to come along.” A little of Maggie’s spirit flamed up. “I didn’t ask you to.”
“That’s not the point.” He knew perfectly well he’d volunteered to come. He wasn’t sure he wanted to admit his motives for that, even to himself. “The point is, we’re both involved in breaking the rules now, and we haven’t gained a thing.”
“Sometimes you have to break the rules.”
“It doesn’t pay.” Didn’t she see that? “You bent every rule there is, and we’re no further ahead. You could lose your job. Don’t you understand that?”
She looked at him then, her mouth twisting a little. “I understand. It’s already happened to me.”
“What are you talking about?”
“My first job after I graduated.” Her eyes looked very dark. “A man brought his wife into the emergency room. He said she’d fallen down the stairs. She hadn’t.”
“Did the woman tell you the truth?”
“At first she did. I reported it, of course. But before the cops arrived, the husband came back with flowers, told her how much he loved her, how sorry he was.”
It was a familiar story to anyone who’d worked in an E.R. He knew how it ended. “She backed down and refused to prosecute.”
Maggie’s hands clenched together. “She was ready to go home with him. It would have been the same thing all over again, and next time she might die.”
“I know.” He put his hand over hers. They were cold, gripping each other. “But you did the right thing. If she wanted to leave—”
