by SUE FINEMAN
As the realization took hold in Andy’s mind, it all became clear. Why Otis wanted him to buy the farm. Why the old man called him family. Why Paulina was so desperate to marry Andrew. “You’re Andrew Jefferson’s grandson?”
“Yes, sir, I am. Although I never knew him, my grandmother brought him to life for me, and I’ve always held him in the highest regard. Ma said someday you’d be born again, and that before I died, I’d have a chance to meet you in this life.”
Otis put his hand on Andy’s shoulder, and Andy’s arms wrapped around his frail body. He knew without a doubt this was one of those “issues” he was supposed to resolve in this lifetime. Andy was sent here to help Otis through his last days. Andrew’s grandson.
“Andrew would have been proud of you, Otis. Mighty proud.”
“I hope so. I’ve tried to live an honorable life, as I know he did.”
Otis took a step back and pointed at a fresh grave nearby. “I buried Ma over here. My wife is here, too, and I have a spot between them for me. I’ll give you the information when we get back to the farm. I didn’t buy Ma’s stone yet. I figured you could do that with the money I put in trust at the funeral home. There’s enough there to bury me and buy two stones like my wife’s. The ground has to settle before they go in, so next summer would be about right.”
Andy nodded. “I’ll take care of it.”
“I know you will, Andrew.”
Andy realized the old man had never called him anything but Andrew, as if Andy was living his entire life as Andrew Jefferson.
After showing Otis where Andrew’s remains were buried, Andy drove him home. Otis seemed exhausted, and Andy was still in a state of disbelief. Hearing about Andrew’s family, seeing where they were buried, and knowing he was related to the man sitting beside him in some bizarre way, humbled him. He felt a deep connection with Otis and a responsibility to take care of him.
Andy wouldn’t let him down.
Unless someone murdered him.
<>
Julie locked the apartment and headed back to Andy’s condo. Her gas tank was nearly empty, but she’d used the last of the money in her checking account to pay for the post office box. She hated being broke and having to depend on other people. Although the next commission check should be a sizeable one, it would barely be enough to catch up on her bills, rent a new apartment, and pay for moving expenses.
She stopped at a gas station, pulled her last five-dollar bill out of her purse, and put a little gas in her car. The bus would have to do her for the rest of the week.
Tomorrow, she’d scan the Sunday paper for jobs. Maybe she should sign on with one of those temp agencies. Susan did that for a while, and they paid promptly. Sitting at a desk all day punching the keys of a computer didn’t sound very inviting, but she’d do just about anything to avoid moving back in with her parents.
She drove to Andy’s condo and carried in two bags of groceries from her apartment. Grandma’s cookbook was in with the groceries, the one thing of her grandparents’ Brent hadn’t taken. Aside from cooking in Otis’s trailer, it had been months since she’d had someone to cook for.
Nearly an hour later, Andy walked in and kissed her. “What smells so good?”
“Chicken pot pie. My grandmother’s recipe.”
“Where did we get chicken?”
“From the freezer in my apartment. I packed my kitchen this morning after I found my mail in Brent’s post office box.” She waved her hand as if brushing him away. “Forget him. What did you find in the attic at the farm?”
“Two trunks, ledgers of farm income and expenses over the years, and these.” He unrolled some papers and showed her what looked like floor plans.
“What is it?”
He grinned. “Andrew’s inn, the one I saw in a vision on the knoll by the river. I’m going to work on the plans and then, if I can get financing, I’m going to build it.”
“Too bad it’s not already built. I’ve always wanted to work in an inn. Did I tell you I minored in small business management in college?”
“No. Then why were you working in real estate?”
She shrugged. “When one door doesn’t open, you find another one. Real estate was my second choice.”
Julie sliced the melon. “What’s in the trunks?”
“I haven’t opened them yet.” He put his arms around her from behind. “I’m starving. All I had for lunch was soup.”
“Ten minutes.”
He nipped her neck. “Much longer and I may have to eat the cook.”
She rubbed her behind against him. “You keep that up and dinner will burn.”
He sighed and kissed her neck, and the tickles of his warm breath made her squirm. He may like to snuggle and make love, but his heart was at the farm and in the plans he’d brought home. His mind was in Andrew Jefferson’s life, not Andy Kane’s. Maybe going back to work this week would jolt him back to the present, but she doubted it.
Andy was obsessed with the past.
<>
As the medication wore off, the fog started to lift from Brent’s mind. Had he really told that doctor to ask Mother about the meds? If the doctor checked his records, he’d know Brent’s mother had been dead for nearly a year.
When Mother was alive, she’d made sure he took his medicine on a regular basis. The schedule died with her, and it had been months since Brent had taken anything. He’d screwed up when he told the cops about the meds. He didn’t want to take the damn things again. They made him groggy and messed with his mind.
He’d be better off in a prison cell than drugged and locked in this damn loony bin.
<>
Julie stepped into the churning bubbles in the tub and sat between Andy’s legs. As she leaned back into his arms, she felt his erection poking her in the behind. “It doesn’t take much to turn you on, does it?”
“Honey, he doesn’t do that for every woman. Only for you.”
She rolled her eyes. “Oh, please. I know I’m not the only woman you’ve ever—”
He laughed softly. “No, you’re not, but he springs to attention whenever you’re near.”
It sounded like a line of bull, but she wanted to believe he wasn’t like his brother. Charlie had a reputation with women, and it wasn’t a good one. Susan thought he was ready to settle down, but Charlie Kane was nowhere near ready to settle for one woman.
Was Andy?
She twisted a little and kissed him. “Did I thank you for letting me stay here?”
“Honey, I’m the one who should thank you. You’re an incredible lover.”
“Andy, I’m not doing this to pay you for—”
He rubbed his hands up and down her arms and around to her breasts. “No, of course you’re not. I didn’t mean it that way. I love having you here, Julie. I wish…”
“What do you wish?”
He shook his head. “Nothing.”
Didn’t he know she’d give him anything he wanted? Didn’t he realize she loved him? No, probably not, and she couldn’t tell him or he might feel obligated to say it, too, and she didn’t want him to say the words unless he meant them.
He held up his hand and stared at it. “I’m turning into a prune.”
She wiggled against his erection. “Not him, I hope.”
He grinned and kissed her. “No, not him.” He stretched his leg out and flipped the drain lever with his toe.
She stood and Andy’s eyes followed the bubbles as they slid down her wet body. A second later, he sat on the side of the tub and pulled her down over his erection. “I can’t get enough of you, Julie.”
He wasn’t wearing a condom, but it felt so good she didn’t want to get off. She kissed him passionately and rubbed her breasts against the rough hairs on his chest. She couldn’t get enough of him, either.
He groaned. “I should keep a supply of condoms in the bathroom.”
Moving a little against him, she said, “Only for me, I hope.”
“Of course.”
“Wrap your legs around me, honey,” he whispered. She did, and he carried them into the bedroom, where he thrust hard into her and pulled almost out.
“No, Andy, don’t stop. Love me. Please love me.”
“I do love you, Paulina. God, how I love you.”
Julie froze, stunned he’d call her another woman’s name. He said he loved her, but it wasn’t her he loved.
He loved Paulina.
Chapter Fourteen
Julie lay awake long after Andy fell asleep. Her heart felt so heavy she wanted to cry. Andy was in love with another woman. Or maybe Andrew was. There were times when she couldn’t tell the difference.
She crawled out of bed and pulled on Andy’s terry robe. Walking through the dark condo, the tears started to fall, and once they started, she couldn’t stop crying. Her whole adult life, she’d looked for the perfect man to love. Now she’d found him, but she knew it would never work between them. In the beginning, he said he couldn’t make any promises, and she thought she understood. Andy had to deal with his past life as Andrew Jefferson before he could make a commitment in this life. He couldn’t devote himself to her when he had issues from the past to settle.
“Okay, so he has issues. So do I.” She stared out the living room windows at the blurry city lights and sobbed. “But I love him so much.”
She’d never been one to wallow in self-pity. In spite of her mother’s constant nagging, she’d grown up a happy kid, usually positive even in the face of disappointments. But lately everything had come at her all at once. Her arm still hurt. Her bank account was empty. She needed a job and a new apartment. Her mother didn’t love her. And then there was Brent.
By three in the morning, she’d given a great deal of thought to her relationship with Andy, her eyes were swollen and red from crying so much, and she was exhausted. She curled up in the corner of the sofa and leaned her head back.
Seconds later, it seemed, light streamed through the windows and she heard the kettle whistling in the kitchen. Andy was up, and she felt like hell. Unwilling to let him see the wreck she’d become last night, she escaped to her bathroom and held a cold washcloth to her eyes, hoping to take the swelling down.
He’d already seen her, of course. Poor guy probably thought it was just that time of the month. She’d always hated it when men blamed her moods on PMS. If Andy pulled the same stunt, she’d probably start crying again, and she’d cried so much last night she felt drained.
When she came out of the bathroom, she found a cup of coffee sitting on the dresser. On some level Andy cared, but it wasn’t enough.
She wanted him to love her.
As she sipped her coffee, Andy tapped on the door and opened it. “Are you okay?”
“Bad night.”
“Something I said or did?”
She looked down. “Nothing important. What are your plans today?”
“Sunday dinner with the family. Mom invited Otis, and you’re invited, too, of course.”
“It’s nice of your parents to invite me, but I need to do laundry today and search the ads in the Sunday paper for a new job.”
He walked into the room, took the coffee from her hand, and set it on the dresser. “Tell me what’s wrong, honey.” He cupped her face and gazed deeply into her eyes. “What did I do to you?”
“What makes you think it was something you did?”
“We made love last night, didn’t we?”
“Don’t you remember?”
“I remember taking you into my bed and then…” He dropped his hand. “Tell me what I did.”
She took a deep breath and told him the truth. “You said you loved Paulina.”
He slapped his forehead and groaned. “That was Andrew talking. Paulina has been dead for years.”
Julie stepped back. “I don’t want to sleep with Andrew.” She paced to the bathroom door and back. “I can’t handle this anymore, Andy. I can’t make love with two men on the same night and come out of it in one piece. I’m not wired that way. I can handle competition from women like Gina, but I can’t fight a dead woman for your love.” Tears welled up again. “I just can’t do it.”
Andy stepped back, a stunned look on his face. “I’m so sorry, honey. I never meant to hurt you.”
“I know,” she said on a sob. “I know.”
Andy stood in the bedroom holding a woman he’d come to care deeply for, a woman he didn’t want to lose, and knew he’d already lost her. She no longer trusted him to stay in the present, to make love to her as Andy instead of Andrew.
Truthfully, he no longer trusted himself. He had no control over his visions, no control of when he slid into the past or how long he stayed there. Julie deserved a man who could commit himself to their relationship instead of bouncing in and out of the past. Continuing their relationship could only cause her more hurt. With his job, the farm, the past, Otis and his illness, and Julie’s problems with Brent, he’d taken on more responsibility in the past week than he could handle. Something had to give, and until he got the rest of his life in order, he couldn’t make a commitment to any woman. Julie would be better off without him.
“I should tell you about Paulina.”
“Paulina was Andrew’s lover, and she was Otis’s grandmother. I figured it out last night. Otis is Andrew’s grandson.”
Smart girl. “Otis had to show me his father’s gravestone for me to figure it out. John Andrew Bedford was born in April, 1919, and Andrew Jefferson died the previous November. He and Paulina used to make love in the hayloft.”
“With the mice?”
Andy smiled. Her sense of humor was coming back. She’d be okay. Hurt, but okay. “They probably kept a cat or two in the barn. I emptied the traps yesterday.”
He rubbed her back. “Honey, after I—”
“No promises, Andy. Don’t make any promises you can’t keep.”
“My first priority has to be Otis. Someone has to take care of him, and I’m the closest thing he has to a family.”
“I know. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be okay as long as Brent is locked away. I’ll find a new job and a new apartment, and I’ll be okay.”
Would she? Andy wasn’t so sure.
<>
Andy not only talked Julie into going to his parents’ home for Sunday dinner, he convinced her to go early, so they could talk before Billy and Kayla brought Otis.
They sat in the living room with Andy’s parents, and Andy told them all about his visit to the cemetery. “So it turns out Otis Bedford is Andrew Jefferson’s grandson.”
“I thought Andrew was a single man,” said Dad.
Mom shot him a look. “Apparently single men back then had the same urges single men do now. And he got his girlfriend pregnant.”
Andy paced in the living room. “Paulina never told him. She said they had to get married, but Andrew didn’t know she was pregnant any more than he knew Cal intended to kill him.” He stopped pacing and turned to face the others. “That’s in the past. The question now is what we’re going to do about Otis. He doesn’t have anyone but a hospice nurse who comes three times a week to help him bathe and make him dinner. He can warm leftovers in the microwave or open a can of soup, but he can’t bend over to feed the puppies, he can’t kill the mice in the hayloft, he can’t get himself to the doctor or drug store, he can’t stand up long enough to buy groceries, and he shouldn’t be living out there by himself. If I didn’t have a job, I’d take care of him myself, but—”
“You can’t give up your job now,” said Dad. “You worked too damn hard to get it.”
“What if he stayed with us?” said Mom. “We can give him Pop’s room. You and Julie can move in here and help him in the evenings, and I’ll take care of him during the day.”
“What about the puppies?” Julie asked.
Mom tapped her lips. “We still have the baby gate from our last puppy. The two Andy and Charlie are keeping can stay in the kitchen until they’re housebroken, and Otis’s dog can stay with h
im. The puppies all need to see the vet and Cassie needs a bath, but Charlie can take care of that. The other puppies will be ready to go to new homes soon.”
Cassie needed to be spayed, too. Andy didn’t want her having more puppies.
He looked directly at his father. “Dad? What do you think?”
“I hate to pile more work on your mother.”
“So do I.” Would Julie stay and help? She hadn’t said much. “Julie? What would you think about moving in here?”
“I’d like to help, but I have to find a job, Andy. I have bills to pay, and the commission check on the farm isn’t going to last forever. I have to move before they set Brent free, and I already told my landlord I was moving at the end of the month.”
Mom turned to Julie. “If you move in with us, you won’t have to worry about paying rent or utilities or buying groceries.” She put her hand over Julie’s. “Otis is very fond of you.”
“I know, but I hate to impose.”
“It’s no imposition,” said Dad. “We can use your help, and if you still feel the need to work, you can help on the weekends.”
“Then it’s settled,” said Mom. “Charlie can help at the farm this week, and then we’ll see about getting everyone moved.”
Julie glared at Andy. “I guess I can wait a month or so to find another apartment.”
Dad looked at Julie for a minute before asking, “How much furniture do you have?”
“Enough to furnish a small one-bedroom apartment. I still have kitchen things, but most of my personal things are gone.”
“That’ll fit in the basement. We’ll get you moved next weekend. We’ll use Trevor’s pickup. He’s in Tacoma visiting his sister for a couple months. Okay?”
She hesitated for a few seconds. “Yes, all right.”
Andy blew out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. “Now we only have one major obstacle. Convincing Otis to move in here.”
Billy’s sons burst through the kitchen door, making noises only active children could make, and everyone but Julie went to greet them. She sat in the living room wondering what she’d just gotten herself into. She’d given up her independence to live with the Kane family and take care of an old man she’d only known a few days.
