Protecting His Own

by Lindsay McKenna

  “Y-you’re okay?”

  Sam heard the wobble in his strained tone. He turned and took off his helmet, propping his M-16 in the corner, out of the way.

  “Yeah, I am.” Sam was standing in the middle of the tent, her face white and taut. Seeing the shadows in her huge green eyes, the way her lips were contorted with pain and anxiety, Roc felt his heart tearing open. She was suffering so much!

  She watched as he shed his outer gear and threw it on the bed. Hungrily, she absorbed each of his movements. The flak jacket was ripped open from its Velcro closings, and dropped on the floor. As he turned, Sam saw that his olive-green T-shirt was soaked with sweat and clung to his powerful body.

  “I’m taking this off,” he told her, holding her uncertain gaze. As he stripped off the T-shirt and bared his upper body, he added, “I smell. I need a shower and a shave, Sam, but right now, something more important has come up. You.”

  He stood facing her, naked from the waist up. Then he leaned down, unlaced his dusty boots and pushed them off his feet. Placing the boots beneath the bed, and wearing only his cammo pants, Roc straightened and walked to within two feet of where she was standing.

  Lifting his right hand, he held it out to her. “Come here, sweetheart. Let me hold you. Please?”

  His words cut through her agitation, penetrating her wildly spinning emotional state. Tears welled in Sam’s eyes no matter how much she tried to stop them. Roc’s face, once so hard and unreadable, was alive with compassion—for her. She stared in disbelief at his proffered hand. It was a large, square hand, the fingers long and strong looking, and covered with many small scars. There were thick callouses on the palm. And he was extending that powerful hand to her….

  Gulping, she tried to take a breath. “Oh, Roc…”

  He didn’t wait. “Come here….” he rasped, stepping forward and sweeping Sam into his arms. In one motion, he brought her to the bed, urging her to lie down on her right side because her left arm had been injured. Lying beside her, their bodies touching solidly at hips and knees, Roc slid one arm beneath her neck and brought her fully against him.

  A rush of air flowed out between her parted lips, and she began to sob. Burying her head in the crook of his shoulder, his flesh warm and solid against her face, she felt a tremor run violently through her. It was an earthquake of emotions that she was trying desperately to avoid, to suppress as she always could before.

  But something was different this time. The bullet wound had shattered her well-ordered world. And somehow Roc knew it as he gathered her tightly against him. He was so warm and strong and protective. It was all Sam could do to slide her arm tentatively around his torso, bury her face against his hard jaw and try to breathe.

  “It’s going to be all right,” Roc rasped against her ear, kissing her damp, snarled hair. “You’re going to be all right, sweetheart. You survived. You lived. You didn’t die. I know how scared you’re feeling right now…I know how your gut is twisted up inside…but it’s going to be okay. I promise you, with time, it will be okay and you’ll stop feeling like this….”

  The trembling touch of his fingers grazing her hair made Sam sob even harder.

  “Let it out, sweetheart, let it out. Cry. I’ll just hold you.” Roc shut his eyes tightly, his jaw resting against her hair. Slowly, he began to rock Sam in his arms. With each gentle motion, her arm tightened around his torso a little more. He felt Sam fighting it. “This isn’t the time to be strong, Sam. I’m here. Cry on my shoulder. You’re safe with me…. I’ll protect you….” And Roc pressed kiss after kiss against her brow, her hairline and temple to urge her to release the poisonous trauma that she held within her.

  As his mouth caressed her, Sam lost control of her virulent, flailing emotions, which were shrieking for release. The sobs that tore from her contorted mouth now sounded like those of a wounded animal. Instantly, Roc’s arms tightened around her. He cradled her gently. His heart was pounding beneath her breasts; she could feel it. She felt the rise and fall of his massive, hairy chest and tried to synchronize her breathing with his. Right now, he was truly like a rock, incredibly stable. She was like a rocket going off, directionless and in desperate need of help and stability.

  “It’s going to be all right,” Roc crooned, pressing a kiss near her ear as she continued to cry in earnest. Feeling the wet warmth of her tears falling on his shoulder and then running down his chest, Roc sensed his heart opening as it never had before. Knowing Sam as he did, he knew the fact that she was able to trust him enough to cry in his arms was a treasure of incredible magnitude.

  Running his hand down her strong, supple spine, which he could feel beneath the fleecy robe she wore, he smiled softly against her temple. In this raw moment of life, all he wanted was to give her solace, the sense that she was loved no matter how badly she was hurting.

  When Roc realized he’d admitted to himself that he loved Sam, he opened his eyes. Continuing to rock her and hold her, he observed that somehow this fiery woman with the heart and courage of a lion had not only opened his heart, but held it in her healer’s hands. He wasn’t sure right now what to do with that revelation. Sam getting wounded had changed his world in a heartbeat. As he lay there with her, their bodies pressed protectively against one another, Roc also knew that his world was changed forever. And although he was scared, he wasn’t running from it.

  Caressing Sam’s tangled, damp hair, Roc pressed small kisses to her hairline and temple. Little by little, her sobs were lessening, the tremors that had wracked her body were now almost gone. He was amazed at how one human’s touch could heal another’s hurt. It was a miracle. She was his miracle. They had met one another in a world plunged into chaos. They had to live moment by moment, never sure of what the next second might bring. Never sure if they’d take another breath because their lives were on the line.

  Sam lifted her hand and pulled away from him just enough to try and wipe the tears from her eyes. Roc raised up on his left elbow and eased her onto her back.

  “Here, let me do that for you.” Carefully he wiped away the remnants of her tears. Looking down at her, at those green eyes huge with pain and hope, he smiled. Her lips, so soft and vulnerable, beckoned to him. Curving his fingers into her hair and tilting her face, he leaned down…down to kiss her.

  As his mouth grazed her wet, parted lips, Sam shut her eyes. Seconds later, she arched against him, her hand ranging along his muscular arm, fingers sliding up his thickly corded neck and burrowing into his short hair. His own touch was tentative. Worshipful. A moan broke from her as he caressed her, making her feel fragile and feminine. The intense care, the love that was expressed in his kiss broke every barrier Sam had ever hidden behind. Roc’s breath was moist and warm as he took the kiss deeper. With each movement of his lips, he let her know just how much she meant to him. Lost in the heat and splendor of his mouth sliding wetly against her own, Sam felt her world explode in shards of splintered sunlight as he caressed her and loved her with his male strength and his male gentleness.

  Unable to get enough of him, she responded hungrily, her mouth devouring his, their breaths mingling, their hearts thundering against one another. Seconds spun together as a lightning storm of need was unleashed deep within her. The heated knot in her lower body grew into an ache that took her by surprise. No man had ever kissed her as Roc was kissing her now. As she grasped the tense muscles of his sweaty shoulder, she could feel him holding back, keeping himself in check for her sake. Even in the midst of her spinning, elated senses, Sam remembered that she didn’t want a one-night stand. Roc was respecting her decision, she realized, as his mouth took her lips in a final, powerful surge that could only be translated as love. Love.

  Nothing else mattered to Sam right now. As his mouth cherished hers, she surrendered totally to Roc. Sam had never done that before in her life. Except for her parents and her fiancé, she had never completely trusted anyone outside of herself. Now she did. She trusted Roc with her life. And her heart, her sou
l and her body were shimmering with a desire to forge a fiery union with him.

  That realization struck Sam as his mouth eased regretfully from hers. When she lifted her lashes, still wet with tears, and met and melted beneath his stormy gaze, she knew. She knew she loved Roc.

  How it had happened, Sam didn’t know. When it had happened, she couldn’t answer. All she knew as she drowned in his lambent gaze was that she loved this man. This man who had risked his own life to protect her.

  Her lips parted, but words wouldn’t come. She saw the corners of his mouth pull upward.

  “You have the most beautiful smile….” she managed to whisper rawly. “I don’t know why you hide it so much….” She lifted her fingers and grazed his lower lip.

  “Because,” Roc said in a low, husky tone, catching her fingers and kissing them, “I’m a marine, sweetheart. Marines have to be tough most of the time.” Holding her hand, he saw her eyes grow velvety with what he clearly saw was love—for him. His chest expanded. The joy that bubbled through him was something he’d never experienced before. “With you, though,” Roc continued, pressing her hand against his chest, where his heart lay, “I feel safe. I feel that you’ll take me, warts and all, for who I am.”

  Closing her eyes, Sam concentrated on his voice, which seemed to vibrate through her entire being. Her heart exploded with such happiness she couldn’t find words to express it. All she could do was drown in his warmth, feel his heart beating beneath her hand. And most of all, as she opened her eyes again, absorb that masculine smile that was like sunlight lancing through the darkness of her fear.

  “I don’t know what’s happening,” Roc slowly admitted to her. “And I don’t have words for it, Sam…. All I know is that we share something special…something so powerful, so overwhelming to me, that a minute of my day doesn’t go by without me seeing your face, or your smile, or those dancing green eyes of yours, in front of me.”

  Nodding, Sam moistened her well-kissed lips. She could taste Roc upon them and wanted more. Oh, so much more! Feeling his mouth press against her brow, she trembled with longing and need. In her heart, Sam knew he loved her with a passion that defied any words they might use to describe it. The fierceness of that truth opened her heart even more, and she felt a flush of heat, euphoria and hope envelop her. Plunged into that golden, sparkling flow of sensation, she floated buoyantly, feeling more strong, more sure and hopeful than at any other point in her life. Because of Roc. Because of what he was sharing with her.

  All she wanted was to burn in the conflagration of desire that flamed in his eyes. To feel his rough hand surrounding hers, to have his body pressed to hers protectively…. However, Sam was barely aware of a helicopter landing in the distance. Faraway voices intruded into the tent. The noise of life, she realized belatedly.

  Opening her lips, Sam managed a slight smile. “I think I’ll live now…. The prescription was just what I needed, Roc…thank you…” Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You love me and I know it now. I absorbed your love into my shattered spirit, and you gave me the miracle of renewed life. You gave me your love….

  Oh, how she wanted to say those words to him, but something stopped her. Her past experience of losing Brad intruded between them, and Sam cried inwardly over that unexpected barrier. It wasn’t fair to Roc. It was her hurdle to climb and resolve. He shouldn’t be punished for the wounds she had yet to work through.

  Roc gave her a very confident male smile. “So I’m a doctor now. That’s nice.”

  Hearing his teasing tone, Sam sighed and relaxed fully in his arms. “You really are exactly what the doctor ordered. How did you know? How did you know I was hurting?”

  Roc reached up and gently brushed several strands of hair from her furrowed brow. “Somalia taught me a lot. It was a nightmare. You didn’t know friend from enemy, just like it is here,” he told her quietly. Grazing her cheek, which now was a dusky-rose color, he added, “Enemies were hidden among the innocent. We never knew one moment to the next where the next bullet might come from. My Recon team went into one warlord’s territory, and we got pinned down. I lost three of my men. Two were wounded, and a third died in my arms on board the Blackhawk that picked us up out of that hell on the way out to sea.” His mouth flattened in memory. “Back on board ship, while I waited for my men to get out of surgery, I went off to a room and cried like a baby. I cried for them. I cried for the loss of my sergeant, who’d died in my arms.”

  Touched to the point of tears, Sam whispered, “Who cried for you, Roc?”

  He shut his eyes. His heart swelled with such emotion at her softly spoken question. How compassionate and sensitive Sam was. When he felt her fingers trailing along the side of his jaw, he opened his eyes. Hers were swimming with tears once again. Sam was open and completely vulnerable to him now that they’d shared that life-healing kiss. Capturing her hand, he pressed it against his chest, against his heart.

  “No one…”

  “You appear so hard. So implacable. And yet—” Sam sniffed, her voice wobbling “—you care so fiercely and deeply for those under your command. You’re so protective and loving….”

  Roc shook his head, unable to speak.

  “And you went to see your men after they came out of surgery?”

  “Yes…and it was then, in the next several days after that, that I saw how changed they were. One of them, my radioman, broke down one day and cried. I held him. He felt ashamed of crying. You know how marines are about that?”

  “Yes,” Sam whispered, giving him a gentle look of understanding, “I do.”

  “Well, it was from Dennis that I found out how getting shot changes you. In so many ways…” Roc looked up at the tent roof for a moment and then back at Sam. “When I got off the helo a little while ago, Kerry was there waiting for me. She had seen you going into the same kind of emotional void most people fall into when they’re shot. She had been wounded recently herself, and when she confided to me that you weren’t doing well, I knew instantly what the real problem was.”

  “And so you came over to see me.”

  “I was going to, anyway, but Kerry’s concern for you made me change some plans and get here sooner rather than later.” Leaning down, Roc kissed her brow and felt the tension melt away beneath his lips.

  Closing her eyes, Sam rested against him. She’d never felt as safe and cared for as she did now. “Kerry’s a wonderful person…so insightful. I’m afraid I fought her every inch of the way when she was washing the dirt out my hair after the sniper incident.”

  Chuckling, Roc rubbed his jaw against her hair. “Yeah, she told me you were a little resistant.”

  “My training as a medical doctor,” Sam said, humor in her tone for the first time. Absorbing the feel of his jaw against her temple, she sighed. “This is wonderful, Roc. You’re wonderful. Everything is perfect despite what happened. I was so worried for you out there. On the way back here we heard you got into another firefight.”

  “Yeah,” he groused. Easing back, he tucked in the collar of Sam’s robe, which was revealing more of her chest than he knew she’d be comfortable with. Right now, all he wanted was her trust. He didn’t want Sam to think he was like men who take what they want from women before running away like thieves in the night.

  “We caught one of the Diablo lieutenants. I…killed the guy that shot you. When we got to the house and found his body, some civilians came out of another block of homes and told us there was a second Diablo member nearby. We took off in hot pursuit.” Scowling, he caressed her brow and cheek. “What we didn’t realize was that it was a trick.”

  “A trick?”

  “Yeah. The Diablo leader is real smart. He created a diversion with that sniper and then with the lieutenant to get all of us to head off in the wrong direction. I think he intended for the two of them to lay down a field of fire and keep us pinned, but we got the upper hand first.” Roc couldn’t keep the satisfaction from his tone. He saw Sam frown, and fear entered her eyes onc
e more.

  “The leader had about ten of his men in another part of area 5, near the border. He was looting a bunch of homes over there and he didn’t want us interfering in the operation, so he created this sniper diversion. We fell for it. I won’t fall for it again. I’m getting to know how he thinks.”

  “But you have a Diablo member in custody?”

  “Yeah. We sent him back to Camp Reed for interrogation. Morgan Trayhern was real happy to hear we caught one alive and unwounded. He said he’d be in touch with us.” Roc gave her a feral smile. “I’d like to interrogate the bastard myself, but I don’t think he’d survive the beating I’d give him for hurting you,” he added, gently touching her shoulder through the blue robe.

  The lethal tone of his voice said a lot to Sam about Roc’s ability to protect those he cared for and loved. Loved? She didn’t want to look too closely at the new emotion she sensed between them, but she couldn’t stop the bubbling feeling of joy that was moving through her as he lay at her side, caring for her, touching her and giving her small kisses meant to heal her shattered spirit.

  “I guess it never entered my mind, Roc, that I might get hit by a bullet someday. I know I’m in the military…but it was just so shocking. I’m a doctor. I work in a hospital. I’m not out in the field, not near any action. I didn’t even realize my arm had been creased with a bullet until we got to the center of that field to wait for helicopter assistance to get out of there.”

  “I didn’t think you knew,” Roc agreed. “When you got up, I saw the sleeve of your blouse soaked with blood. At that point, I couldn’t do or say anything.”

  “No kidding,” Sam whispered. “You were lying down between me and that sniper, protecting me.” She gazed up at him in wonder. “What kind of person willingly puts their life ahead of another’s?” Shaking her head, she murmured, “You blow me away, Roc. I knew you were a marine and proud of it. And I know marines take care of their own—I’d always heard that.”