I smooth my hair back so it will at least look neater, and smile as I run into the dome.
“Wipe the grin off your face, Kid, and start running,” Sam shouts from the other side of the dome. He’s running in a full out sprint. “We’re not stopping until you catch up with me.”
At school we use to do warm ups first. I start running after Sam, my eyes jumping from the concrete in front of me to him on the opposite side of the dome. I guess they don’t believe in warm ups here.
It’s different running in circles to running for your life. I don’t even make two laps before I start breathing fast, too fast. I suppose when you run for your life you don’t think about anything but surviving. Now I have time to think about things like panting and the pinching ache in my side, and the distance that’s not getting any smaller. Sam is fast. I’m going to run forever.
“I can do this the whole day, Kid,” he shouts. I believe him, but I can’t do this the whole day, so I try and pick up my pace. The muscles in my shins are pulling and I’ve skipped panting and gone over to wheezing. I’m starting to feel sick. I run for another half of the dome when my vision blurs.
“Sam,” I moan.
I stop and put my hands on my knees, taking big gulps of air. I feel queasy and my tongue goes numb.
“Did I say stop.” I hear Sam yell.
I come up and my vision blurs black. Pins and needles start on my head and run down my body. My cheeks and tongue even has pins and needles.
“Jai!”
I hear my name but I can’t see Sam. I can’t see anything.
~*~
When I open my eyes I see three fingers.
“How many am I holding up?”
I stare at Sam’s hand for a second longer. He has nice hands too.
“Three.”
“Get up,” he snaps at me.
I frown at him as I sit up. He offers me a hand but I just stare at him. Is it a crime to pass out around here?
“I said get up,” he snaps again.
I ignore his hand and get up by myself.
“When Roland says eat, you eat. People don’t drop on me.” He steps up to me and I can’t see the friend I made last night anywhere on his face. His eyes spark. “Here, there are no second chances. Failure means death. Go eat and when you come back, you better be ready.”
Raze smiles sympathetically at me when I walk into the commons.
“Raw deal this morning. Give me a sec, will you, Nate?” She calls behind her.
“Sure,” Nate mumbles.
“Let’s get you into clean clothes first.”
She turns out to be the opposite of her name. She’s caring and doesn’t stop talking. She hands me two pairs of pants, two shirts, underwear and a jacket. I’m grateful, I can do with a shower and change of clothes.
“You don’t know where I can find a toothbrush, do you?”
“The bathroom.” I take a deep breath of relief. “There’s a cabinet to the right as you walk in. We keep the soaps and stuff there. There should be one in there.”
“Where do you get all your supplies?”
“The Inner-ward. It’s where most of the population is. The Outer-wards are just training camps for people like us, ‘The Cause’.” She makes a funny face.
We go our different ways by the commons. I find the cabinet half filled with soap, towels, toothpaste – all your basic bathroom necessities. I find a comb and I hold it to my chest for a second. I can brush my hair.
I shower and now that I feel more human again I go grab some breakfast. I sit down at an empty bench with a few strips of bacon and two pieces of bread. I skipped the eggs this morning.
“Aww … really, Kid!” Sam slides in opposite me with Roland.
I stare down at my plate and swallow. I was really looking forward to eating my breakfast without an audience.
“You have to get those proteins in.” Sam’s teasing me with Roland at the table. It’s the last thing I need. “Where are your eggs?”
I glance at him. There’s no trace of laughter on his face, no hint of friendliness like there was last night. He wants me to talk in front of Roland. I square my shoulders.
“I don’t think I can stomach any after running this morning.” I let my mouth lift slightly at the edges. My dad always said a smile can make everything better.
I look directly at Roland – black hair, still sharp brown eyes, nothing has changed since yesterday. He still scares me. “Is there anything specific you would like me to do here?” I ask Roland. I breathe in and out. He is just another rooftop I have to jump over.
“I’m not into babysitting.” He forks his bacon. “Figure it out yourself.”
Breakfast is hard, hard to swallow, hard to sit through. I don’t see Chance. I haven’t seen him since he showed me the Drill Zone.
I finish my bacon and bread and go wash up my plate.
“Newbie, take this up to the Crowsnest.” Nate shoves a plate, stacked with food into my hand.
“The Crowsnest?” I ask.
“Down the tunnel, turn right, out the blue door,” he says, “you can’t miss it once you’re outside. Oh, the code for the doors is Roland.”
I’m confused, more than ever, but I go. When I reach the blue door I see the keypad has both numbers and letters on them. Now I can at least get out. I punch in Roland’s name and the door clicks open.
The tunnel is brightly lit, more than the other one, and there aren’t any archways to my right, but three doors. To my left two archways open up into an oval room, another park.
It doesn’t look at all like the other one, except for the ceiling with the oval shaped holes for lights. This one has more trees, and sand laid out in patterns, with smooth rocks. And, there is a water feature in the corner surrounded by a patch of grass. I almost forget about the food in my hands.
“Do you need to take that somewhere?” Sam comes out of the second room.
“Nate asked me to take it to the Crowsnest?” I’m hoping he’ll show me where it is.
“Yeah, the man can’t stay up there the whole day and not eat.” He starts toward the exit and I follow him, grinning. “Give him his food and get your butt back to the Drill Zone. I’m not done with you yet.” His mouth curves at the sides.
“What happened to not being nice to me?”
“In front of others, Kid.”
I cover my eyes when we step outside. It’s going to take me some time to get used to the glare of the sun.
“There you go,” Sam points to a tall metal structure, “make your delivery and don’t keep me waiting.”
I watch him leave with a smile. When I turn back to the structure I realize I have no idea how to get up there.
“You have got to be kidding me,” I mumble to myself, as I walk closer looking for some way up.
It has ridges every few feet. They start out fat, ending slim at the very tip. When my eyes reach the top I see what looks like a fence, and then I see him.
“Chance!” I call.
The Crowsnest shudders and then the structure moves down, each ridge from the top fitting into the next until it’s only the bottom two and the fence part remaining. He opens a gate and jumps out.
“Nate sends food.” I hold the plate to him.
“Thanks.” It’s all he says as he takes the plate and heads back to the Crowsnest.
“What do you do up there?” I ask, taking a step forward.
“Keep watch.” He doesn’t say more and I don’t ask what he keeps watch for.
Chance places the plate on the top and uses the ridges as steps. He doesn’t look back.
“I like your parks.” I’m more nervous around him since the kiss than when he threatened to kill me when we met. I don’t know why that is.
“It’s there for everybody.” He closes the gate and stares at me. “I hear Sam is training you today.”
“He is. He’s nice.” This feels really awkward, this back and forth thing we’re doing.
“He’s good,�
�� he says. The Crowsnest shudders and only then do I see the remote button hanging from his belt.
“Chance, I’m really sorry about Ethan.” I blurt the words out quickly, while I still have time.
“You better not let Sam wait,” he says, turning away.
Never mind Roland, I think I have to stay out of Chance’s way as well.
~*~
I really, really dislike Sam.
I don’t know what the time is. The training started taking on a torturous pattern. I run around once, then jump from the one scaffolding to the next. I end the course by jumping and grabbing hold of a rope. For now I hang and hold. Sam says I’ll start climbing when I’m stronger. I don’t think it will be today, or tomorrow. I don’t think it will be any time in the near future.
“How’s it hanging, Kid?”
“I hate you,” I spit the words at him. I shouldn’t have spoken, because my concentration shatters and I fall, again. “I need a break.” My hands are red from the rope.
“A break,” Sam hisses down at me. I haven’t heard him take such a harsh tone with me yet. “A break is something you get when you fall from a rooftop, Kid. You break your neck out there. Here you train. Get up and go!”
I drag my aching body off the floor. It feels as if something explodes behind my eyes. I clench my teeth together and start to run up the pathway again, pushing myself as hard as I can.
I complete the lap and focus on the first scaffolding. It’s the easiest one out of the five. Once I jump onto it, it moves into a slow swinging motion, slamming into the next one, and it gets harder from there on out, each one swinging faster. I launch forward and jump the short distance from the wall, my arms wide to the side. I pull my legs up and land crouching for the first time.
Exhilaration pumps through me and I propel my body forward with the momentum of the scaffolding. I jump and keep my arms wide, my legs up, landing in a crouching position. I spread my fingers wide on the floor to keep my balance. I feel my heartbeat with every breath. The first bump isn’t too bad, as the first two scaffoldings collide. I rush forward as the scaffolding lurches forward, using its momentum to my advantage.
I land almost tumbling off the other side and scramble backwards. The momentum of the third scaffolding carried me too far. My throat feels thick and I swallow and gasp for air. The third scaffolding swings back and I get up, launching myself forward, but I’m too late. It’s already swinging forward, and it knocks into the fourth one. My body’s thrown forward as they bash together and there’s nothing to grip onto as I slide over the smooth surface of the scaffolding.
This fall is harder than when I fell off the rope the other times. I hit the floor with a dead thump. A white-hot pain streaks through my whole left side. Tears well in my eyes, but I grind down on my teeth. Wiping at my eyes, I get up. I won’t cry. I shake my arms out and wince at the dull pain in my left side and shoulder. I have to ignore it.
“You better get going, Kid.”
I glare at Sam where he stands near the grid only a few feet from me. The scaffoldings are still swinging above my head, making an unnerving screeching sound.
“Sam.” My eyes dart up to the entrance. “How about you take over in the Crowsnest for me?”
I can’t take my eyes off of Chance as relief washes over me. I know if I look away I’m going to cry so I keep eye contact, drawing on the same strength that he gave me while I had to jump the rooftops.
“Remember to eat, Kid. Tomorrow’s gonna be harder,” Sam says, before he walks away.
I try to breathe past the pain. Only once I see Sam take the remote for the Crowsnest, do I drop my eyes. I turn my back to the entrance as the first tears spill over my cheeks. I don’t want anyone to see me being weak.
“Jai.” Chance’s voice is close and only a whisper.
“I almost made it,” I say, my voice trembling. I swallow the rest of the tears back and wipe angrily at my cheeks. Feeling miserable, I sigh as I turn around to face whatever scolding he’s going to give me for not being strong enough.
“You did good,” he says, and then he smiles. I don’t understand why he’s being nice to me all of a sudden. He shouldn’t, because it makes my eyes burn and even though the Drill Zone is huge, the air feels tight. He reaches for my arm, nudging me forward. “Let’s fix you up.”
“How was your first day, I mean when you started your training?” I ask as we walk out of the dome. I’m way too conscious of him next to me. When we reach the blue door he opens it and waits for me to go first.
“Go wait for me in the park,” he says, not answering my question.
He goes into the first room instead. I go to the park and using the smaller rocks I make my way to the big one in the middle of the sand patterns. Chance skips the rocks and walks in the sand, leaving a clear trail of footprints.
He places a tube next to me on the rock. When he takes another step closer, he cuts off the air around me, and I breathe him in. He frowns and reaches for my chin, lifting my face to his.
“Your cheek is healing nicely,” he says.
I breathe out slowly. His hand so close to my mouth is unsettling. He lets go, and I fight not to touch my face where he just did.
“I’m going to look at your side,” he says, taking the tube and unscrewing the cap, “just relax.”
When he takes hold of the hem of my shirt, my eyes dart around nervously to make sure we are alone. He lifts it slowly and I can’t help but inch up, sitting a little bit straighter.
“Um … Chance.” My eyes jump from the one archway to the other as he exposes my waist for the entire world to see. My face grows hot under his eyes. “What if someone comes?”
“Firstly, Jai, Sam is in the Crowsnest and Roland is out.” The way he says it, makes my neck and face instantly turn red. I can feel the heat radiating from my skin. It’s as if I should know this is normal for people to do, to expose themselves. “Secondly, Vine shows more skin on a daily basis.”
He lifts my shirt even more, exposing my ribs and I’m an inch of skin away from dying! When he presses lightly against my side, I shoot forward, grabbing hold of his hand. I don’t know if my reaction was from the pain, or that he touched me.
“That hurts,” I blurt out. He doesn’t have to know that I’m dying of embarrassment right now.
“But, you’re not Vine,” he whispers. I dare a glance at him. His eyes are soft and he’s not laughing at me. “Nothing I say or do will stop you from caring.”
“Caring?” It’s the first time I’ve heard the word.
“You care too much,” he says.
“But I don’t understand the word.”
“It’s when you take a personal interest in something. You feel affection for it. You want it. Someone can only hurt you if you care about them.” He doesn’t look away as he tells me his definition of caring. “Some people will do anything for something they care about.”
I think about the little chick. I do have a soft spot for the chick, so I care for the chick. I think about what happened in the bathroom and that it hurt when he left me like that. He can hurt me. I stop thinking why and glance down at my hand still over his.
“Here’s what we’ll do,” he says, placing his other hand, still holding the tube on my shoulder. He nudges me back gently and a very strong peppery smell wafts up my nose from the tube. “Your side is going to hurt for a while. Take the ointment and put it only on your side every morning and evening. Don’t go crazy with the stuff, it stinks.” I smile when he wrinkles his nose.
My eyes drop to our hands as he slowly moves his out from under mine. Then he takes my hand and squirts some ointment on the tips of my fingers. My eyes water instantly from the strong smell. I lift my shirt and attempt to rub it on as soft as I can.
“I know it hurts, Jai, but you have to rub it in or else it won’t work.”
I take hold of his hand and transfer the ointment to his fingers.
“I can’t, it hurts too much. You just do it.”
I grab hold of his left shoulder, looking away as he starts to rub it in. The pain is so sharp I can’t breathe. When he’s finished he pulls my shirt down. He draws me against his chest and I feel his hand brush my hair. He doesn’t say anything and I’m thankful for the strength he’s giving me.
He eventually breaks the silence. “Let’s go for a walk.”
The cornstalks reach above our heads. Their leaves are a healthy green. We walk in silence at first.
“I got the scar above my eye on my first day. I slammed my head against the last scaffolding,” he says, a smile curves his mouth and it makes him look younger again. “Roland drilled the hell out of me. I thought I was going to die. At one stage I wanted to die.”
“How did you make it?” I’m careful. Whatever this is, the reason for him opening up, I don’t want to ruin it.
“Ethan. I kept telling myself I had to make it for him. I had to get him out before they chose him.” My chest has this hollow ache and it’s because I am responsible for Chance’s reason being gone. He continues, “I was lucky. I got away. I ran far and for so long.”
The cornfield opens up and I see the roof of the ward. There are oval shaped solar panels and as I walk closer they shimmer green and blue in the sun. It’s a field of solar panels in the cornfield.
“I was a scrawny kid when I found this place, scared out of my mind. Years of preparing for a war changes a person, Jai. It’s going to change you.”
I know I should be listening to what he’s saying and not trying to work out his age.
“How old were you when you got chosen?” I flush. I’m scared he’ll figure out that I’m fishing for information.
“Eighteen. I didn’t follow the rules. They get rid of you if you don’t follow the rules. Our fathers use to work together, in the Gene Labs. One night he just didn’t come home. A week later I was chosen. There’s three years difference between Ethan and-” He stops and stares off into the distance. “Was.”
I don’t think and I close the distance between us. I wrap my arms around his waist and press my face into his chest. I can’t make up for what he has lost, but I can try and comfort him. My heart beats twice before he lifts his arms around me, wrapping me up in a hug.
Insensate (Book 1 in The Dissolute Trilogy) Page 9
