by Heather Long
Text copyright ©2017 by the Author.
This work was made possible by a special license through the Kindle Worlds publishing program and has not necessarily been reviewed by Robyn Peterman. All characters, scenes, events, plots and related elements appearing in the original Magic and Mayhem remain the exclusive copyrighted and/or trademarked property of Robyn Peterman, or their affiliates or licensors.
For more information on Kindle Worlds: http://www.amazon.com/kindleworlds
Every Witch Way But Floosey’s
Once Upon a Time in Assjacket/Madison the Witch Hunter
Heather Long
Contents
Every Witch Way But Floosey’s
Foreword
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Epilogue
Check Out All the Authors in the Magic & Mayhem World
About the Author
Also by Heather Long
Every Witch Way But Floosey’s
Meet Madison—badass lady who is always bringing in the realm hoppers. Her targets have horrible habits and steal things.
Meet Grady—he’s a hard ass who brings in targets of his own. He’s got his own team and a penchant for flings. When the fairy tale collides with a legend…will they still be standing after the dust clears?
Foreword
Robyn Peterman is the goddess of light PNR, so I was incredibly thrilled and flattered when she asked me to take part in her Magic and Mayhem Kindle World. I love getting to play in her world. My last trilogy followed Bridget, the Witch Singer, the road trip in book one cracked me up. This time around, I’d like to introduce you to Madison and Grady. They’re realm jumpers and bounty hunters. You never know what will happen!
Get ready to rock and roll with the wonderful, wizardly writers of the Magic and Mayhem Kindle World!
Prologue
Once upon a time in Assjacket… I took my witch on a merry chase. Samhain was right around the corner, and I wanted to party somewhere fun. Our schedule had been jam-packed with job after job after job. While she didn’t go looking for the work, she sure as hell didn’t turn the hunts down. Even though we hadn’t had a vacation in years, Maddie was driven—which is just polite speak for batcrap crazy about getting the bad guys.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m on board with hunting down witches who broke the law, slipped bail, then fled. Our reality wasn’t big with the Norms, and they frowned when the news featured anything smacking of spellcraft, witches, shifters, and other hellraisers—yes, I mean actual hellraisers. Maddie shut down the Hellmouth Resort last year. Talk about epic cleanup project. I thought that job would never end.
Where was her reward? Where was her downtime to recuperate and throw a ball around for me? My Maddie needed a break, and I knew the best place to go. Assjacket, West Virginia, on the Earth closest to ours. It was a practical paradise for those of us who walked the not so thin paranormal line.
Lifting my gaze to the clock on the wall, I panted with impatience. It was almost time. If this went the way I wanted…the phone rang!
Maddie hit pause on the streaming series she was using to unwind and answered her cell before it rang again.
“Madison.” The sharp bark of command in her voice riveted me. I loved her voice. It was low, husky, and carried a distinct alpha quality. I’d follow her anywhere.
“Got a job for you.” The voice on the other end was Cyrus. He was Maddie’s bondsman—the magic man who called with all our assignments. I liked it when he used to visit. He always brought me a treat. Maddie wasn’t so fond of him. The last time she saw him, she threatened to hex off his balls if he barged into her space again. That meant he called, and I didn’t get treats.
“Yeah? I just finished a job for you two hours ago. What is our deal?”
“Don’t bite me, Maddie. This is one of those special circumstances, which means bigger bang in the paycheck.”
“I haven’t hung up on you yet.” Maddie left the easy chair where she’d been napping since we got in. Tracking her with my gaze, I waited a beat for her to get in the kitchen. The coffee maker hissed. At least making coffee, she’d have to go near the fridge and there was a chance I could score a treat or three.
Rising, I trailed after her.
“…Floosey worked at a casino in Vegas. She turned state’s evidence with the council after stealing the client list.”
“Sounds more like a job for the Witch Marshals than for me.” Maddie walked over to the fridge to get out the milk, and she paused long enough to open one of the bags of jerky. Accepting the offer, I gave her a toothy grin. She barely acknowledged it as she padded back to the coffee maker.
“It would be, except her immunity is contingent on her testifying. Since she ran, it activated her bail agreement from two years ago. She also portal hopped to a parallel Earth. I don’t have many who can handle portal hoppers, much less alternate realities.”
Pouring her coffee, Maddie snorted. “Nice backstory dump. Tell me what I really want to know.”
“It’s twice your usual fee. If you get her back before the case against the casino starts, then it’s three times.”
“Better.” She took a sip of her coffee and leaned against the counter. Padding over to her, I leaned against her. Some folks called her prickly, but she never rejected my company. “Deadline?”
“Two weeks.”
“That’s a wide-open time table.” Though suspicion etched her words, she put her cup down and ran her nails lightly over my scalp. Canting my head, I waited for her nimble fingers to reach the spot that always itched. “What’s the catch?”
“The catch is we’re pretty sure she fled to a place called Assjacket, West Virginia.”
Yes! Just what I wanted to hear.
Maddie groaned. “We have no jurisdiction in another witch’s town, and the Shifter Whisperer in control there isn’t going to be keen on our arrival.”
“Which means you need to go under the radar. Quiet. Calm. Snatch and grab.”
So not the way we rolled.
“Works for me. Send me the details and a pic.”
Cyrus almost had what he wanted, so why did he have to ask, “Do you want back up?”
If I had a hand, I would have face-palmed. As it was, I just flattened my ears in anticipation of Maddie’s response. “You do that,” she said, her voice a silken threat. “And I’ll send them back to you in pieces and make you pay me quadruple. Got it?”
“No need to get testy, I just wanted to ask. Page me when you’re back with the prize.” The man got off the phone in a hurry. Maddie chuckled and glanced at me.
“It’s time for Karma to get to work.”
That was my queue, I trotted outside first. Portal hopping on a full bladder never ended well for anyone.
Assjacket.
Party time!
Chapter 1
Madison
No one ever said Karma doesn’t bite…least of all me. – Madison the Bounty Hunter
Portal travel always sent us through at the speed of light. I was used to it and hit the ground, before rolling to my feet. Adjusting my grip on my spell-shot gun, I studied the landscape around us. Karma landed on his feet, then shook as if he’d emerged from the water. A spell-brador, he had the perfect nose for tracking would-be spell-jumpers. Tail wagging, he focused his attention on me.
The air was cold. Really cold. It had been in the upper 80s at home, but here it felt
closer to freezing. The icy chill against my flesh threatened a dangerous drop in body temperature. The short sleeves on my black shirt trembled, then began to elongate even as the fabric thickened. It folded over and glossed over my fingers, like a living thing. The fabric firmed to become gloves. The V filled in, and slid up along my neck until I was insulated.
With a snap of my fingers, I pulled out a hat and tucked it over my hair. The denim in my jeans tightened around my legs and my boots just stayed boots. They were already tougher than hell basilisk leather.
Virgin snow frosted the landscape around me. Overhead, the three-quarter moon splashed silver light across the white.
“You good, Karma?” I didn’t want the cold doing a number on his paws.
He sneezed once and bobbed his head.
Reaching into the pouch on the back of my belt, I pulled out the scrap of cloth Cyrus hex-mailed. Dropping to my haunches, I held it out to him. Karma and I had been together since the day my parents brought me home from the hospital. The puppy appeared on the rug next to my crib—or at least that was how the story went. Mom wasn’t thrilled by the turn of events. What parent wanted to know their child was a hunter? Particularly when their baby was only two days old?
“Find,” I told him then straightened. We’d appeared in the middle of the hilly woods. While I didn’t see any signs of civilization, that didn’t mean there weren’t any around.
Karma didn’t streak off as soon as he’d had his taste of the magic on the scarf. I tucked it back into the sealed pouch. If my spell-brador didn’t lunge into the chase, then Floosey was not in our immediate vicinity. “Bah, that means a real hunt.”
I wasn’t fond of Assjacket or its inhabitants. I came here once before to find a realm jumper. The Baba Yaga and I didn’t see eye to eye on the dispensation of the witch I’d come after, back then. Better to avoid her and anyone else altogether on this visit.
Grab Floosey, take her home, then collect my bond.
A thwack echoed through the hush. Karma darted forward to stand next to me, tail ceasing all motion, ears rising, even as his whole body shivered. Whether in anticipation or from the wintry breeze, I wasn’t sure. I knew what that sound meant.
Another realm jumper was here. Sliding the wand-chester from the holster at my hip, I focused on the direction of the all too familiar noise. The faint scent of crushed black pepper, oakmoss, and just a touch of vanilla.
Are you freaking kidding me?
Wand-chester in hand, I strode toward the west. The pine trees shed more snow as I brushed past them. Moonlight spilled a perfect circle on the powder coated clearing. Along with a tall, broad-shouldered witch bastard Smith & Witchin’ tucked into a holster on his thigh. He grinned broadly. “Hey, gorgeous.”
“No,” I ordered, pointing a finger at him. “No. No. No. You are realm jumping without a license, and this is my bond. Begone.”
The casual smirk on his face infuriated me. It also transformed his rugged good looks into something far sexier. The man’s too-blue eyes would glow in a bedroom, and he had lashes I couldn’t put together with three magic spells or a potion.
If only he didn’t spend half his time trying to procure my bad guys and girls.
And getting away with it.
“Now, gorgeous, don’t wave that finger at me unless you’re prepared to use it,” Grady Hammersmith said, his deep baritone a melodic invitation to sex. Sex I wouldn’t be accepting today or any other day—particularly since I damn well knew where he’d been. The man in front of me seemed to have been created to drive me crazy. I’d blame magic gone bad, but my wards were secure.
Not growling took everything I had. I refused to let him bait me. After holstering the wand-chester once more, I settled for folding my arms. “This is my bond hunt, Grady. Go bother some other idiot witch willing to let you step on her moment.”
Tipping his head to the side, he swept his gaze over me. The man had skills, as I could almost feel the phantom sensation of his hands stroking along my sides. Keyword: almost. Grady might be annoying, and he might get in the way, but he didn’t cross the line.
With me.
I wasn’t sure if it was a healthy sense of fear or respect on his part. Maybe both.
Smart man.
Spreading his arms wide, Grady dropped to one knee and Karma rushed to meet him. The spell-brador all but threw himself into a frenzied roll, leaping up to slurp Grady’s face, then rubbing against his chest as Grady stroked his sides.
Traitor.
“Hey, boyo, how are you? Taking good care of your mama? She’s got a stick up her butt, so why don’t I throw it and you can go bury it somewhere?” As jokes went, it wasn’t bad. I still didn’t plan to laugh.
“Ha. Ha. Karma, knock it off and come here.” And, like the loyal spell-brador he was, Karma flopped onto his back and gave Grady his belly. The big man rubbed the traitor’s tummy and laughed.
“I’m betting that stick up Mama’s butt has brambles on it.”
Karma’s only response was a drooling tongue as he twisted to look up at me while he soaked up Grady’s attention.
I met the dog’s gaze and stuck my tongue out at him. I was so not joining in the make a fuss out of the traitor spell-brador.
“How about coffee?”
“He doesn’t drink coffee, you dolt.” Why did the pretty ones have to be so thick?
“I meant you, sunshine.” He canted his head up, meeting my gaze. The smirk turned into a real smile. “I know you drink coffee.”
“Only like I breathe air. But I like my coffee like I like my men.”
“Strong, hot, and ready to fulfill your every need?” He raised his eyebrows, a sensuous promise in his eyes. Goddess above, the man was a walking invitation for sex.
“No, bold, in a cup, and waiting patiently without butting in.”
“Boring,” he commented, still rubbing Karma’s belly. “C’mon, gorgeous, why don’t we work together, grab the bond, then we can deliver her to Vegas together, catch a show, and I’ll get you that cup of hot, obedient coffee you’re longing for.”
The snort escaped before I could contain it. “If that’s a sexual overture, Grady, it’s weak. I’m immune to your type of contagion. Realm hopping without a license is illegal. Now beat it before I take you in.”
Clucking his tongue, he shook his head as he gave Karma one last pet before he rose to his full height. Damn, the man was tall, fine, and rugged as hell. It didn’t help that beneath the duster and heavy clothes was a well-chiseled wall of muscle. Magic-users didn’t tend to be built like Shifters. Spellwork required fine minds, not bodies.
“Neither of us are with Enforcement anymore, Madison.” How he turned my name into a verbal caress, I had no idea. “In fact, we’re both free agents, no ties, no commitments, and loads of potential.”
“Do you have to make everything a sexual overture?” Did I have to respond to every single one? Despite the nippiness in the air, my spelled-turtleneck seemed to smother me.
“Not everything. That would be boring.” Grady winked. “But you’re right, we’ve both got business. And since I’m about to have a head start, I should leave you to figure your next problem out.”
My next—?
The spell flashed around my ankles, and I sank into the snow. The wind picked up, and the next thing I knew, a barrage of snow fell off the trees overhead.
That son of a spell-humping…
At least my personal wards kept a bubble of air around my face. Digging myself out would take too long. I could hear Karma scrabbling against the snow, his paws going to town, trying to dig me out. I worked my hand down to the wand-chester. The pressure made wiggling hard, but I managed to get a grip.
“Back off, boy,” I called, trusting the spell-brador’s keen hearing. Shaping my fingers around the handle, I concentrated on the magic at my core. Like the spell-brador choosing me, my choosing a career in Enforcement hadn’t been high on my parents’ wish list for their only child. The magic in my s
oul, however, couldn’t be denied. I lived and breathed magic. It frosted every breath, and my mother promised me I could make a fortune if I just used it to entertain, to build, to design—but I wanted more out of my life.
I wanted to make the world a better place.
Yep, as hippie-dippie as it sounds, I wanted to be the witch who could scratch the itch of badness out. Training with Enforcement unlocked every ounce of my potential. Everything I carried with me—my uniform, my spell-chester, even my faithful Karma—soaked up the magic I shed, which meant that I had access to emergency power I could trigger. Squeezing the handle, I called fire. It swirled around me like a tempest, melting the snow and soaking through my clothes until I erupted from my unexpected snow burial in a burst of steam.
Landing on one knee, I let the heat permeate until my clothes dried. Karma bounced over, raced in a circle around me, then paused to drop to his haunches and lick my face, as though in apology.
“Just remember, you’re the one who likes him.” I grunted, releasing my wand-chester then cleaning off my hat. To his credit, Karma managed to look contrite, with his dark soulful eyes and downturned ears. Running a gloved hand over his head, I let him off the hook. Spell-brador or not, Karma was still a dog and he believed in the innate goodness of people around him. Even ripped, sexy gods in denim like Grady freakin’ Hammersmith, my ex-partner from Enforcement and current pain in the ass.
Worse, between the snow, the fire, and the dousing, my hair was curling.
If nothing else, the bastard was going to pay for that.
Grady
