by Rick R. Reed
“A medical examiner? Forensics?”
“That sounds right. You tell these people I did it. As I said, the proof is there… my blood, my fingerprints, my hair. It will all match up. It will make a convincing case.”
“And if they ever come looking for you?”
Sam’s voice was grave. “They will never find me.”
Neither will I.
The thought just about broke his heart. Thad bit his lower lip hard enough to taste his own blood. He got up from the bed and looked down at his beautiful man lying spread-eagled, twisted up in the sheets, and glazed with a light coat of sweat.
He kissed him. “I love you. I hope—someday, somehow—you will come back to me.”
“I want only that.” Sam let a breath escape. “I am going to close my eyes now. When I open them again, I think it will be easier for us both if you are not here.”
Quietly, quickly, Thad dressed and left the Blue Moon Café … forever.
Chapter 22
CAPITOL HILL at dusk looked inviting. The light had faded to an almost lavender hue, and warm yellow lights appeared in the windows of the large old brick homes and apartment buildings.
Thad walked for a long time along the streets of the neighborhood, heading over to where the streets sloped downward with views of downtown, the mountains, and of course, the Space Needle.
Eventually he ended up on Aloha. It was as though all the meandering had a purpose—to bring him here. Ahead was the redbrick apartment building that only a mere couple of weeks before had been the scene of carnage and a media circus.
As he neared the building, something made him look up at one of the windows.
Jared stared down at him. And then disappeared from view.
As Thad stared up the walkway, the front door squeaked open and Jared emerged, smiling. He looked terrific in a pair of ripped-up jeans, hiking boots, and a worn flannel shirt.
“Hey, stranger,” he called out. “Lookin’ for trouble?”
Thad hurried up the walk toward Jared. It felt like coming home.
And yet…. And yet….
As he neared Jared’s open doorway, he felt as though he were being pulled forward and backward at the very same time. He stood, frozen on the threshold.
Jared opened the door wider and cocked his head. “Coming in?” He smiled, and his gaze locked with Thad’s.
Thad stepped inside, feeling suddenly nervous, out of sorts, and a little sick. On his way over here, he’d been so sure what he’d wanted. He’d thought: I love Jared. He and I are like two peas in a pod. In a way we’re like two halves of a whole. He gets me and I him. There may not be a blazing fire here, but there’s a spark. Just look at his cute little face! In time, our love will grow.
He sat down on Jared’s worn couch, and one of his dogs came over, tail wagging, to be petted. Thad absentmindedly patted the dog’s head and scratched behind his ears, staring all the while out the window at the muted violet light.
Jared was saying something, and only just now did Thad realize it. He shifted his gaze to his friend, his best friend. “What?” he asked dully.
Jared laughed. “Coffee? I just made some. Should I pour you a mug? Or is it too late for the likes of you?” Jared snickered. “I have beer too—and the harder stuff.” He winked.
Thad let out a quivering sigh. “No, I don’t want anything.”
Jared sat down beside him. “Dude, what’s wrong? You seem a million miles away.”
“Is that how far it is to Sicily?” Thad wondered.
“What?”
Thad shook his head. “I was all set to come over here and give myself to you, I suppose.” He grinned as Jared raised his eyebrows.
“I have a feeling that’s not gonna happen,” Jared said.
Thad shook his head. “No. And by give myself, I mean in a bigger context. As in boyfriend, partner, potential husband.”
Jared laughed. “And you decided that I’d accept? All on your own? Do I have a say here?” Jared nudged Thad’s shoulder with his own. “I love you, buddy, but I’m not ready to settle down.” He took Thad’s face in his hands. “You’re very special to me, man. No doubt. But we’re a lot like brothers….” He trailed off.
“I know. But I thought maybe we could make things work. If we gave it a try….”
“What are you talking about? We’re buds, BFFs. Right?”
Thad nodded. Should he let Jared in on everything that had transpired during the night? Of course he would, but something in him told him now was not the time. Now was the time to tell him something he was starting to know more and more, not in his head but in his heart.
“You were my safety net,” Thad said. “But life isn’t about clinging to safety nets. It’s about leaping and trusting that the net will appear, or at least so I’ve heard.”
“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”
And he said it, all at once. “I’m moving to Sicily with Sam. Right away.” As soon as the words were out, he felt as though a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Deep within, he knew this was the real answer. He could feel it not only in his bones but in his blood, his skin, his scalp, taste it on his tongue. A sense of relief, almost palpable, rushed through him.
His love for Sam was real. And if he didn’t follow him home, Thad knew he’d regret it for the rest of his life.
Jared laughed. “You’re what?”
“Sam’s leaving the country. He wants me to come with him. At first I thought I couldn’t do it, thought I couldn’t leave the people I love—like you, like my family—but I realized that maybe we don’t always get a second chance at love. Maybe we only find our great dark man once.” Thad stared off into the distance. “I’ve found mine.” He turned back to Jared. “And I need to be with him, wherever he goes. I have to follow this, see where it leads. Maybe it’ll be the best thing I’ve ever done, or maybe it will be the worst, but if I’m afraid of making a mistake, if I have this fear of failure, I’ll never grow.”
Thad stopped for a moment. “And maybe I’ll never love… again.”
Jared said softly, “Oh, come on, Thad. There are plenty of fish in the sea.” He winked. “I can attest to that.”
Thad nodded. “But there’s only one Sam.”
“You’re really going to do it, aren’t you?” Jared looked sad, his eyes a little misty. His next words were a contradiction, but Thad knew he meant them and loved Jared even more for saying them. “I’m happy for you.”
Thad stood up, feeling suddenly energized. “I need to go.”
Jared chuckled. “To Sicily? Right now?”
“You think I’m kidding, but Sam’s leaving soon, maybe as soon as tomorrow, and I need to be with him.”
“Why the urgency?”
And at last Thad told him everything that had happened through the night and into the early morning. His friend, more than anyone else in the world, would understand, would know he wasn’t spinning some far-out paranormal tale but speaking the truth.
“Wow” was all Jared could say.
Thad stooped down to kiss Jared on the lips. “I’ll always love you, man. And I hope one day we’ll see each other again.”
“I hear Sicily’s beautiful.” Jared turned away, and Thad suspected it was to hide his tears.
“I’ll be in touch when I get settled, okay?”
“Sure you will.” Jared still couldn’t look at him.
Thad hurried from the apartment, not sure if Jared’s final words to him were sarcastic or heartfelt. He wasn’t sure himself if he’d ever see this wonderful man again.
He hoped so.
But right now Sam, his love, was out there, and he needed to catch him before he was gone.
Chapter 23
THEY SAT on one of the biggest boulders along the rocky shoreline. Before them stretched the churning waters of the Mediterranean. In the darkness its whitecaps stood out as the waves crashed against the rocks, sending up spray that every so often splashed Sam an
d Thad, cooling them and making them laugh. The water itself looked almost black, but not quite, imbued with a deep navy color. On the surface of the water, the reflection of the moon, nearly full, stretched and contracted.
Under the blanket draped over both pairs of shoulders, they were naked. On that same blanket, spread out on the even-at-night hot sand, they’d made love. Like the rush of the sea before them now, the sex had surged and retreated, rough and then calm.
This was their quiet spot, the place they could get away from Sam’s family and truly, as Thad put it, “howl at the moon.”
Thad put his head on Sam’s shoulder. He smelled of sweat and smoke, and Thad lightly stroked Sam’s bicep.
“Are you still glad you came with me? Not missing Seattle too much?”
Thad closed his eyes. The answer to the two questions didn’t align perfectly. This wasn’t, after all, a fairy tale. “Oh, I miss a lot about America and the people I left there.” Thad laughed. “Thank God we managed to get Edith over here!” He shook his head, thinking of how the dog loved the Sicilian air and sunshine. Thad shook his head. “But I can’t deny the things and people I miss and probably always will. But am I glad I traveled across the world to be with you? Oh yes, of course. I might miss home—I mean Seattle, America—but I don’t ever have any regrets.”
“Because you’re with the man you love?”
“Because I’m with the man I love.”
Sam squeezed him, pulling Thad closer, a feat that until a moment ago Thad wouldn’t have thought possible.
For a long time, they sat in comfortable silence, staring out at the sea. Then Sam reached down and lifted a small plastic container out of the bag on the boulder at their feet. Inside were cold artichokes, marinated in olive oil, garlic, and red pepper. Sam had made an aioli from eggs and Parmigiano-Reggiano and, of course, more garlic. He fed one to Thad by hand.
Thad closed his eyes in revelatory pleasure. He let the artichoke and its pungent dip linger and dance on his taste buds. “You know the only reason I followed you here, right?”
“My big dick?” Sam asked, laughing.
“Well, there’s that. But it’s your cooking, really, that keeps me by your side.”
Sam shook his head and fed him another heart.
They both stared up at the moon, right now partially obscured by a slate gray strand of cloud passing by.
“Soon,” Thad whispered.
And Sam nodded. “Sì. But you know I won’t harm anyone.”
Thad nodded and stared into Sam’s brown eyes, loving the curious mixture of gentleness and ferocity he knew mingled there.
“Let’s not think about that right now,” Sam said.
“Let’s think about us,” Thad agreed. He reached down for another heart and fed it to Sam.
“Two hearts,” Sam said softly.
Lupino Family Favorite Recipes
NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: Sam and Thad wanted me to share these recipes with you. Enjoy… during a full moon or not!
RICOTTA-STUFFED ARANCINI*
(Rice balls, in Italian: arancini di riso con ricotta. Arancini in Italian means oranges, or what these look like when fried up).
INGREDIENTS
Salt and pepper to taste
4 cups water
1 cup bread crumbs, preferably homemade (if using store-bought, don’t get the flavored variety)
2 tablespoons olive oil, plus more for frying
1/2 cup ricotta cheese, preferably full-fat, both for flavor and consistency
2 teaspoons chopped fresh thyme
1 1/4 cups arborio rice (the kind you use in risotto)
Flour, for dredging
1/4 cup dry white wine
2 large eggs, beaten
Zest of a lemon
1/2 small onion, minced
1 tablespoon freshly grated Parmigiano-Reggiano
DIRECTIONS
Heat the 2 tablespoons of olive oil in a medium saucepan (a minute or two). Add onion and cook over medium/low until soft and fragrant—don’t burn! Pour in your rice and raise the heat a bit. Stir rice until it’s coated with oil and sizzling, a couple of minutes. Add in the wine and simmer until evaporated, about three minutes. Add water and bring to a boil. Simmer, stirring every few minutes, until the water has been absorbed and the rice is tender, about twenty minutes. Take rice off the stove, add to a bowl, and let it cool.
Stir the thyme and lemon zest into the rice and season with salt and pepper. In a small bowl, blend the ricotta with the Parmigiano and season with salt and pepper. Wet your palm and grab a small handful of the rice mixture and form into a ball. Make a dent in the center and fill it with about one teaspoon of the ricotta mixture. Fold the rice around the filling to enclose it and pat the rice into a ball. Repeat with what’s left.
In a medium fry pan, heat 2 inches of olive oil over medium heat. Set a rack over a large baking sheet. Put the flour, eggs, and bread crumbs in 3 separate bowls. Dredge the rice ovals in the flour, shaking off any excess. Dip the ovals in the egg; then coat with the bread crumbs. Deep-fry four ovals at a time until golden brown, a couple of minutes. With a slotted spoon, move the arancini to the rack to drain while you fry the rest. Serve hot or at room temperature.
ORECCHIETTE PASTA AIOLI WITH FLAKED RED PEPPER*
(In Italian, orecchiette means “small ear.” Take a look at the pasta and you’ll see why. This is a very simple but very delicious recipe!)
INGREDIENTS
16-oz. orecchiette pasta, preferably fresh, but dried is good too—as long as you stick to semolina
Handful of salt
1/4 cup olive oil
1/4 cup salted butter
1 anchovy (optional but lovely)
6 cloves fresh garlic, minced
1/2 to 1 teaspoon of red pepper flakes
1/4 to 1/2 cup grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese
DIRECTIONS
Put a large pot of water on the stove to boil. When it starts to bubble, add in a good handful of salt. You want it to taste like the sea! Add in pasta, cook to al dente, and reserve some of the liquid the pasta cooked in.
When pasta is almost done, heat fry pan over medium heat. Add in butter, olive oil, and if using, anchovy (this is the cured anchovy in oil, not fresh). The anchovy will melt into the oils. When butter has lost its foam, add in garlic and a sprinkle of salt. Cook, stirring, over low heat until fragrant. Don’t let it brown! It will become bitter.
At this point, add in your pasta and toss with butter, oil, and garlic to coat. Add in a bit (1/4 of a cup or so) of the pasta cooking water. This will add creaminess to the sauce. Stir in red pepper flakes and grated cheese.
Serve hot! With breath mints!
PASTA FAGIOLI*
(This will warm your tummy and your heart on a cold day.)
INGREDIENTS
1 cup elbow macaroni
2 tablespoons olive oil, divided
1 lb. spicy Italian sausage, loose (not in casing)
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 onion, diced
3 carrots, peeled and diced
2 stalks celery, diced
3 cups chicken broth
1 (16-ounce) can tomato sauce
1 (15-ounce) can diced tomatoes, choose good quality
1 teaspoon each dried basil and dried oregano
3/4 teaspoon dried thyme
Salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste
2 (15-ounce) cans cannellini beans (or other hearty white bean), drained and rinsed
DIRECTIONS
In a large pot of boiling salted water, cook pasta according to package instructions, drain, and set aside.
Heat 1 tablespoon olive oil in a large stockpot or Dutch oven over medium heat. Add Italian sausage to the skillet and cook until browned, about 3-5 minutes, making sure to crumble the sausage as it cooks. Drain and set aside.
Add remaining 1 tablespoon oil to the stockpot. Stir in garlic, onion, carrots, and celery. Cook, stirring occasionally, until tender, abo
ut 3-4 minutes.
Whisk in chicken broth, tomato sauce, diced tomatoes, basil, oregano, thyme, Italian sausage, and 1 cup water. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer, covered, until vegetables are tender, about 10-15 minutes.
Stir in pasta and beans until heated through. Serve hot with some good, crusty bread.
ANISE BISCOTTI*
(Great with your morning coffee!)
INGREDIENTS
3 1/2 cups flour
1 1/4 cups sugar
2 1/2 tablespoons baking powder
1 teaspoon anise oil
6 large eggs
2 sticks butter, melted but not hot
1 egg, beaten, for brushing on top of dough
DIRECTIONS
Sift together flour, sugar, and baking powder. Make a well in the center of the dry ingredients.
Whisk eggs until frothy. Add melted butter and anise oil.
Pour wet ingredients into dry and combine thoroughly.
On a well-floured board, put four heaping tablespoons of dough. Roll out lightly. Place on greased cookie sheet. Pat mixture down to about ¼ inch thick. Can fit up to three on a large cookie sheet (makes about five rolls). Brush top with beaten egg before putting in the oven.
