“There’s not a single thing in your apartment to show that Christmas is just a couple weeks away. Talk to me, Red.”
“Well, it’s the first one not in Texas,” she admitted.
He sipped champagne and nodded. “That’s different for you.”
“A change. But even one for the better is hard.”
“And when it’s not for the better, it’s—” He shook his head.
“In your life you’ve had a lot that falls in the ‘not better’ column.”
“Yeah.” He moved the remaining mac around his plate. “When my father walked out on us, I thought it was my fault.”
“What?” Just starting to take a bite, Rose put her fork down. “Why on earth would you think that?”
“I was pretty young for one thing. You know how kids think the world revolves around them.” One corner of his mouth curved up, but his eyes were dark with the memories. “But I remember him yelling at me. There was water everywhere and a nonfunctioning toilet because I’d taken apart the guts to see how it worked.”
“How did you get that heavy lid off?”
“It was broken, I think.” He shrugged.
“What happened?”
“He was really ticked off. Threw something. Said he wanted to be anywhere but there. The next day he was gone.”
“I don’t know what to say.” Rose put her hand on his and tightened her grip when he tried to pull back. She remembered his telling the inquisitive girl on “Santa’s” lap not to ever stop asking questions. “You do know he probably didn’t leave because of you? That there was more to it? That it was about him and not a curious little boy?”
“I do now.” He turned his hand over and linked his fingers with hers. “My mother explained things to me. I remember her saying that she was glad I’d said something so she could make sure I knew it wasn’t my fault. She didn’t want me to blame myself.”
Tears stung her eyes. What an intuitive mom she’d been. “And then you lost her—” Emotion choked off the words.
“Myself, too, for a while after she died in that car accident. Haley had just started college and came home to take care of Angie and me. I didn’t appreciate her sacrifice at the time, not until I went to school.”
“It must have been especially sweet to see her and Marlon get married. Family is really important.”
“I couldn’t agree more.” He released her hand and picked up his fork. “So that begs the question, why are you not going to Texas for Christmas?”
She chewed thoughtfully for several moments, then swallowed. “For one thing, everyone is here except my brother Jason, my mother and stepfather.”
“Your mother will miss you for the holidays,” he said.
“I’m not so sure.” She met his gaze. “When my father died, it was as if I lost both parents. My mother had to take over running the business, but I only knew she wasn’t there for me. Gosh, that sounds selfish and self-centered.”
“Not if it’s the truth. And you were a little girl. But if I learned anything from my mother, it’s to get your feelings out there.” He put his hand over hers and wouldn’t let go when she tried to pull it away. “What happened to your father?”
“He died in an oil rig accident when I was two. I don’t remember him at all, but my brothers do. Talk about your misdirected anger.” She laughed and heard a trace of bitterness. “They talk about him as if he was an action hero in the movies and it just makes me mad that I have no memory of him and never will.”
“What about your stepfather?”
“Pete Wexler,” she said. “He married my mother when I was four and is the only father I’ve ever known. A good man. He’s always been there for me.”
“But?”
How did he know there was a but? It was as if he could see into her heart, mind and soul. Was that crazy? Or stupid? Or both?
“I’ve always felt as if there was something missing in my life,” she explained. “That sounds so dumb. I’ve never wanted for anything, in material terms. It feels so greedy to want more. Is the crown too tight? Are the jewels too heavy? But there are things money can’t buy. At father-daughter dances, my friends had their dads, but I had to put ‘step’ in front of the title.” She sighed. “Go ahead and laugh.”
“I’m not laughing.”
“Not even on the inside?” she asked.
“Especially not on the inside. I can’t help thinking—” He shook his head. “Forget it. None of my business.”
“What?” She leaned forward. “I really want to know what’s going through your mind.”
“Okay.” Intensity darkened his eyes. “This thing you’ve got about age, the reason dating older men is so ingrained in you, could have a lot to do with not knowing your real father.”
Maybe, she thought. The more that idea rattled around, the stronger it took hold. “That’s an interesting theory.”
“It’s worth what you paid for it.” He shrugged.
“And yet, there could be something to it. I never really thought in those terms before.”
“Not surprising. Just very human.” His thumb moved softly back and forth across her knuckles. “It’s a lot harder to see things in ourselves because we’re too close, too emotional.”
“And the whole world revolves around us?” she teased, thinking about him as a little boy.
He smiled. “Something like that.”
“It occurs to me that you’re a lot like your mother.”
“Why do you say that?”
“It sounds like she was very intuitive and I can see for myself that you are.”
Rose realized that he had the wisdom of a man far beyond his years. She stared into his eyes and saw an old soul looking back at her.
“I take that as the highest of compliments,” he said.
She smiled. “I’m glad.”
“And to thank you for that flattering remark, I’m going to take you to get a Christmas tree.”
“Now?”
He laughed. “Too cold. And dark.”
“I’ll grant you it’s really cold, but the tree lots are lit up like— Well, like a Christmas tree.”
“We’re not going to a lot. Too civilized.”
And the opposite was uncivilized. Rugged. That’s when a shiver started deep inside that had nothing to do with cold and everything to do with this man. Man.
He was full of surprises and Rose could hardly wait for the next one.
Chapter Ten
On Saturday morning Rose cleaned her apartment. After putting away the cleaning supplies, she made herself a sandwich and a cup of tea, then sat at the kitchen table. As she ate, her gaze fell on the flowers Austin had brought. They were still as fresh as the new perspective he’d given her. There was no delicate way to phrase the “aha” except that missing her real father had narrowed her focus on men, excluding anyone who wasn’t of a certain age.
It had given her a list of things to think about.
As always, Austin was at the top of the list. The bright, happy blooms made her smile. They also made her feel the lack of holiday spirit in her place. She looked around and it wasn’t any more decorated than the night Austin had pointed out that it wasn’t decorated. Somehow, he’d made her comfortable enough to bare her soul and she felt better for it. He’d also promised to take her for a Christmas tree, but not to a traditional lot.
She’d seen him every day that week. At ROOTS, she’d dropped in to talk with Zane Gunther about the concert on December 25 and ended up hanging out with Austin. Shopping at the mall had come up and he went with her the next night. He was at the town hall getting information on construction permits in connection with the processing facility for Traub Oil and dropped by her office. They’d had lunch together. But not once had he mentioned a specific date for taking her to get the tree.
She had gifts piled up in the other room and festive paper to wrap them. Stacking everything in a corner seemed wrong and it was time to change that. With chores finished and her tummy f
ull, she’d just go take care of it herself.
After changing into a pullover sweater, jeans and boots, Rose ran a comb through her hair, then brushed on a little makeup. A girl just never knew who she’d see and if her luck held, that would be Austin.
She put on her hat and was about to grab her puffy jacket when her cell phone rang.
She looked at the caller ID and a happy little shiver danced through her. “Hi, Austin.”
“Hey, Red. What’s up?”
“Not much. You?”
“Well, it’s the strangest thing.” There was a teasing tone in his voice. “This old truck just sort of steered its way to your neighborhood. Kind of weird, really.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, because it was then I remembered you needed a Christmas tree and I promised to help you get one.”
“That’s right,” she said. “I thought you forgot all about it.”
“Why?”
“You never said another word. And it’s not like I didn’t see you during the week.”
“There’s a reason for that. I had to keep up appearances.”
“Because?”
“I’ve been doing my level best to avoid any hint or appearance of a date. I don’t want you to lose that bet on my account.”
She was lucky to have him for a friend. Even as she thought it, deep down inside she knew there was a ripple of more than friendship. But that wasn’t something she wanted to think about now.
“You’re a good man, Austin Anderson.”
“I’m glad you think so. And I keep my word. So…”
“Yes?”
“Grab a hat, gloves and jacket. You’re going to need boots, too. We’re going for a tree. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
“Okay.”
But Rose was way ahead of him. Great minds, same wavelength and all that. She decided to wait for him outside and opened her door, then shrieked. Austin was standing there, tucking his phone into the case on his belt.
And he’d surprised her again.
“Why didn’t you just knock?” she asked.
“Well, you know, just in case…”
“I looked like something the cat yakked up?”
“No. Do you own a mirror? It’s not possible for you to look bad. Ever.”
Aww. Her heart melted just a little more even though it was freezing outside. “Then why?”
“I have two sisters. I know the drill. If one doesn’t have prior arrangements, some lead time is required.”
“And you thought ten minutes would do it?” she teased.
“You don’t even need that.” He grinned, but there was an intensity in his dark eyes that wrapped those words in absolute sincerity.
Keep it light, she thought. Don’t go there. “You are a silver-tongued devil.”
“I’m a hell of a guy.”
Rose couldn’t agree more, but wasn’t prepared to say it. “Okay, let’s get Operation Christmas Tree on the road.”
“Your chariot awaits, my lady.” He held out his arm and she slipped her gloved hand into the crook of his elbow.
They walked to the old truck and he opened the door, handing her inside. The interior smelled like him, spicy and masculine. It felt like being wrapped in his arms, a feeling she could too easily get used to.
He climbed in behind the wheel and they were driving out of her apartment complex and then onto Main Street. Before she knew it, they were passing ROOTS, The Hitching Post, Second Chances Thrift Store, The Tattered Saddle Gifts and Antiques, and Wander-On Inn, headed out of town on Thunder Canyon Road.
There wasn’t a whole lot of civilization after they left the buildings behind. The passing scenery, with trees sticking up through the snow drifts, was breathtaking. And the farther they went, the more she felt a surprise coming on.
“So where are we going?”
“You’ll see.” With both hands on the steering wheel, he was concentrating on the curving road.
“This is going to be legal, right?”
“Why do you ask?”
“Besides the fact that you have a wild past and a tattoo to prove it?” She met his gaze briefly. “We’re clearly not on our way to a lot where trees are displayed. A place where you pick and pay.”
“I told you. We’re not going to a lot.” He grinned. “We’re cutting one down.”
“I’ve never done that before.”
“No?”
“My mother always had an artificial one.” This was exciting, but she couldn’t resist teasing. “But what are the rules?”
Austin glanced over. “You’re really hung up on regulations, aren’t you?”
“Yes. I wouldn’t want to trespass on private property and end up in the slammer. Or someone could set the dogs loose on us. Or shoot first and ask questions later.”
“Sure can tell you’re from Texas.” He laughed ruefully. “No one will take offense if we cut down a pine tree.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because I already talked to Ben Walters and got his permission. He’s got a ranch outside of town where he runs cattle and horses. But it’s a few hundred acres and a lot of it has trees. We’ve been getting ours there for years.”
“Okay, then. I thought yours was wonderful.”
And so was the kiss they’d shared beside it. With the scent of Austin surrounding her now, that memory was so real, it had pressure collecting in her chest until she could hardly breathe. She had never in her life wanted to kiss a man more than she wanted to kiss Austin Anderson right this minute. If he wasn’t driving…
“We’re almost there,” he said, turning off the main road.
His voice snapped her out of the sensuous haze and she was grateful. The mission was to cut down her tree, nothing more.
He turned from the main road onto what was little more than a narrow passage carved into the thick forest. He guided the truck a short way in, then stopped and turned off the engine. The area was so dense with vegetation on both sides of them that the sun didn’t shine through.
“I’ll get the tools from the back.”
“Okay.”
She opened her door and slid down to the ground. It was so cold that her breath made clouds in front of her as she took in the scents of moisture, pine and fresh air.
Carrying an ax and handsaw, Austin met her on the passenger side and said, “Follow me.”
“Paul Bunyan,” she teased.
“He was big and burly, right?” Austin looked down, laughter sparkling in his dark eyes.
Her chest felt tight again, bringing back the urge to kiss him. “I believe so.”
“Then he and I are like clones. Twins separated at birth.”
“I was going to say…”
The funny thing was that if one didn’t know anything about him, he could be a lumberjack. No one would necessarily peg him as an engineer with a scary-high IQ. He was tall and muscled in all the right places. She knew that from firsthand experience because he’d held her close to all those right places and made her want what she shouldn’t want from him.
As soon as they left the trail, their boots sank in the snow and walking took all her concentration. There were trees all around them and the fragrance of pine was even more concentrated here.
“It smells so good.” Rose stopped and looked around. “Any one of these would be beautiful. But it seems sinful to cut one down.”
“If it makes you feel any better,” he said, “in the spring we can plant a replacement. That’s always been part of our agreement with Ben.”
“I’d love that.” And part of her did a happy little dance that he’d said “we.” She studied the plant life candidates closest to them with a critical eye.
“Remember, I have to carry it back to the truck.”
“Okay, Mr. Big and Burly,” she said laughing. “I get it. Size matters.”
“Yeah, and keep in mind where it’s going. In the wide open spaces it doesn’t seem so big, but there will be height and width issues in
your apartment.”
“I see what you mean.”
It took a while to find one with no obvious flaws in fullness that also met Austin’s criteria for spatial limitations in her place. But after tramping around, he spotted the perfect pine. When she gave the thumbs-up with her mittens, he set about cutting it down.
After a few mighty whacks with the ax, he yelled, “Timber.”
She stood behind him and watched it fall. With the handsaw, he cut through the last bit of bark and freed the tree. Then he grabbed the trunk and dragged it through the snow to where he’d parked. After stowing the tools, he lifted it onto his shoulder and gently set it in the truck bed.
“And the lady has a tree.” He turned to secure the tailgate.
“The best one ever,” she agreed.
Before stepping on the road, Rose looked at all the snow, then at Austin’s broad back. The urge came out of nowhere, but she couldn’t let such a tempting target go to waste. She bent and scooped up a handful of the wet, white stuff, molded it into a ball and heaved.
With a splat, it hit his neck just above the collar of his shirt and slid down inside it. “Bull’s-eye,” she shouted.
Hunching his shoulders, Austin turned and his eyes gleamed with challenge and retribution. “That was low.”
“Devil made me do it.”
With athletic grace, he successfully dodged a second one, then said, “This is war.”
She expected him to bend over and go for the snow to make a ball and her plan was to get past him into the truck before he could retaliate. An inspired idea, but he surprised her and not in a good way. Instead of bending down, he came at her and grabbed her around the waist. He was too fast and too strong for her to escape, and a part of her didn’t want to. Then his feet slipped in the snow and they both went down. He managed to twist his body so that she fell on top of him, but then he shifted over her.
His face was an inch from hers and they were both laughing. Then he suddenly stopped laughing and intensity darkened his eyes. It thrilled her all the way to her toes. She felt the cold as wetness seeped into her jeans and jacket but couldn’t find the will to care. All she could think about was getting closer to this man.
“Oh, God, Rose,” he groaned, his gaze skipping over her face. “You’re so damn beautiful.”
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