“Do me a favor, stay away from him. He’s mine, and if he so much as looks at you again, I’m blaming you.”
“You can have him.”
“Apparently, he doesn’t seem to acknowledge that yet. Besides, you’re the one throwing yourself at my boyfriend.”
“I’m not! You can have all of him, only for you. I don’t care. I don’t want him.”
“Then stop throwing yourself at him. There’s only so much a guy can take from a girl offering herself so freely.”
That was the thing. She was afraid that, if I were really into him, he would never say no to me and they would never have another chance.
I shook my head. “Get out, Audrey.”
“I’m not done with you, bitch,” Audrey hissed.
“But I’m done with you.” I pushed her out the door and closed the door in her face. For good measure, I turned the lock.
She pounded on the wood. “Bitch! We’re not done! Open this damn door!”
I leaned on the door and faced open-mouthed Molly. “What? Do you want to join your friend?”
“I can’t believe I liked you at first.” Molly grabbed a small bag from under her bag and tossed a change of clothes and her books in there. She strolled to the door. “I’ll ask to change roommates tomorrow.”
I shrugged. “Sounds good to me.”
Molly opened the door, and Audrey’s screams sounded louder for a second, until Molly closed the door again. I had never intended to be this bitchy with my roommate, but she started it and I wasn’t going to back down.
In fact, I was tired of backing down.
I closed my eyes and channeled my anger. I let out a long breath, imagining my anger and frustration escaping with it. Not that it really worked, but I liked to believe it did.
I was tired, but too agitated. I reached for my phone on my nightstand and scrolled through my contact list. Gabriela, Guilherme, Hannah, Hilary, Leo, Leticia, Molly, Pedro, Phoebe, Ricardo. I wanted to tell someone how I was feeling, what I was going through. How confused I felt, and how any action I took seemed like a hundred steps in the wrong direction. But nobody would understand. Besides, most of them were far away, and the ones closer to me were too busy.
Moreover, I felt weak asking for help.
Once more, I closed my eyes and breathed, clearing my mind. If I were riding, there wouldn’t be trying. My mind would be clear already.
I dropped the phone and turned to my desk. Since I wouldn’t be sleeping because of my nerves, I had better make them useful. I researched topics for the history project. The sooner we did this, the sooner I would be rid of Jonah. And Audrey.
Chapter Eight
A few girls were gathered in the common room on the first level of my dorm building. There was always someone there, and Thursday evening wasn’t any different. Lounging on the worn couches, reading, studying, drinking—because here it didn’t need to be the weekend for students to party and drink.
As soon as I stepped through the front doors, they stopped talking and looked at me. I knew that look. They appraised me, and scanned every inch of me. They thought they were superior to me, and they wouldn’t be caught near me even if paid a thousand bucks.
Grande coisa.
I didn’t look their way, I didn’t rush my steps, and I didn’t change my expression. I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of knowing how much they bothered me.
I climbed the two flights of stairs and put my key in my dorm room. It didn’t turn. What the hell? I took it out and insert it again, jiggled it a little, but it didn’t work.
A sliver of light came from under the door and I heard shuffling from inside.
“Molly?” I asked. As I expected, she didn’t answer. “Molly, I can’t open the door. Did you leave your key on the lock?”
She would have had to leave her key twisted in the lock so I couldn’t insert mine. It was on purpose. She didn’t answer. As far as I knew, she had asked to change roommates yesterday, but they told her that if it were possible, it wouldn’t be immediate.
I rested my head on the door. “I know you’re mad at me, but please, unlock the door. You can go back to ignoring me and pretending I don’t exist the next second. Please.”
I heard a chair being dragged and the light went off.
“Molly!” I punched the door.
And she still ignored me.
I groaned and marched out the building. This time, parading in front of the girls in the common room was harder, but I made it.
Once out the building, I stopped and took a deep breath, willing my nerves to calm down. I knew I could go to student housing and complain about this, but I wasn’t ready for that. In Molly’s eyes, I would look weak, and she certainly would love to tell Audrey. No, I wouldn’t go running and asking for help. Not yet.
But where could I go? I pulled my phone from my pocket and checked the time. Phoebe was still in class so I couldn’t go to her room, or somewhere with her. I hated going places alone these days. Which was ridiculous. I had never cared about what anyone thought before. Why did I care about it now? This was ridiculous.
I took another long breath and strolled to the coffee shop. It was crowded, as usual, but the line moved quickly and soon I had my drink in hand. A small table in a corner vacated as I walked by it. I sat down and pulled my iPad from my bag. I would spend the time browsing the internet, maybe updating Facebook or Skypeing with Leticia. She would understand and she wouldn’t tell me to go back to my parents’ like my brothers or Hannah would.
I hoped Molly moved that key soon.
Out of nowhere, a guy sat across the table from me. He leaned over the table, a confident smile on his lips. “Hello there. You’re Bia, right? The Brazilian girl.” He nodded his head, as if we were sharing a secret. I gaped at him. “Tell me, do you have a Brazilian wax under those jeans of yours?”
I blinked. “Excuse me?”
“I would love to see it.”
I slapped his face.
There was a low “oooh” all around. I tried to resist it, but it was stronger than me. I looked around and saw everyone staring at me. Including Audrey and Sarah, the two princesses seated at the tall bar wrapping around the back wall. They giggled.
“What was that for, bitch?” the guy asked.
Shaking my head, I wrapped my arms around my stuff and stood, grabbing my half-full cappuccino. I approached Audrey and Sarah.
“Poor Butch,” Audrey said, still smiling. “When we told him you were Brazilian, he was so eager to meet you.”
I took the lid off the to-go cup and dumped my drink over her head.
Audrey gasped and froze, while Sarah put her hand over her mouth to hide her giggle—great friend—and the rest of the students laughed.
“You’re the bitch, Audrey.”
I marched away from her.
“I’ll get you for this!” she yelled.
I paused at the door and gave her my best come-and-get-it smile. “I’m so afraid.”
***
Dumping my drink over Audrey’s head had felt good, empowering. I almost skipped out of the coffee shop and whistled on my way to my dorm. I felt more like myself than when I first arrived here.
The normal me would go out almost every weekend, drink two or three shots of whiskey, dance, laugh, gossip. The normal me would have tons of friends and maybe one or two guys that I was interested in. The normal me loved boys and missed kissing them; the normal me wouldn’t miss the opportunity to make out with a hot guy. The normal me would walk around campus singing and looking like a fun girl. The normal me was the girl everyone wanted to do projects with because, besides being fun, she was also intelligent.
But I couldn’t be the normal me. Not right now.
I wasn’t afraid of Audrey or Sarah, or any of the girls from the sororities. I just didn’t want to give them another reason to spread more lies, to stretch the ones out there. If I went out, they would say I was on the hunt. If I was seen kissing a guy, they would think I had a
lready slept with him—and a couple of others. I knew how a bad reputation could ruin everything, and I didn’t want to have a bad one attached to my name. Bem, a worse one.
So, when Phoebe asked me to go with her to a bar Friday evening, it hurt me to say no.
“How do I look?” Phoebe asked, whirling around in the middle of her dorm. It was like mine; however, her roommate actually seemed nice.
We had spent the last hour getting her ready. She looked fantastic in a short jean skirt, red blouse with a moderate cleavage, and black sandals. I helped her flatiron her hair and put on her makeup.
“You look great. Ready to break a few hearts.”
A red tint spread through her cheeks. “Only one will do.”
“Kevin will agree with me.”
She smiled. Finally, after two weeks of meeting almost every evening at the library, the guy had worked up the nerve to ask her out. He was going to meet her at one of the bars off campus. She was nervous about arriving alone, hence why she wanted me to go.
She sat beside me on her bed. “I wanted to meet the real Bia. Let her out. Just for tonight.”
I shook my head. “I can’t. You know what would happen. I would go with you, have a few drinks, have a great time, but the next day, everyone would be talking about how I left the bar with not one, but two guys. I can’t risk that.”
“Well, the real Bia wouldn’t care about all that shit. At least that’s what you keep telling me.”
“Touché.” I sighed. “It’s not that easy this time. I’m here for the next two years. More, if I get into vet school.” Though I was starting to think it would be better if I went somewhere else. “I’m not sure I can’t not care about what people say for so long. And I don’t want to run away either. I just need to lie low for now.”
“For how long?”
“I don’t know. One month? One semester? The interest in me and where I am from has to die down at some point. Especially if I behave and don’t give them anything to talk about.”
Phoebe laughed. “Because throwing your drink over Audrey’s head yesterday is lying low.”
I buried my head in my hands, but a loud laugh escaped through my lips anyway. “Meu Deus, that felt so good. But yeah. It only made things worse. Now she’s out to get me.”
“As if she wasn’t before.”
“Right.”
I walked with Phoebe to the bar. Like everything, it was just off campus and lots of students went there practically every evening. On Fridays, they had a live band and Phoebe said Kevin knew the lead singer.
“How about you come in? I bet Kevin can introduce you to the singer. All singers are cute, right?”
I chuckled. “No, thanks. I’m sworn off men for now.”
“That’s silly.”
Well, that was my life.
I halted on the sidewalk, eyeing the bar on the other side of the street. “Here we are.”
“Thanks for walking me.”
“My pleasure. It was a good excuse to get out of my dorm for a little while.”
“Text me when you’re in your room. I’ll be worried about you until you do.”
“Sure.”
I stayed in place until she crossed the street and entered the bar. I turned to leave as an old truck with peeling dark blue paint parked in the spot by my side.
Not thinking anything of it, I kept on walking.
“Bia.”
I halted. My heart sped up a little.
Garrett walked up to me. “Hey.”
I turned to him, keeping my face blank. “Hi.” As usual, he had his brown boots and hat on. This time he wore dark jeans and a fitted dark green button up shirt that brought out the green speckles in his hazel eyes.
He pointed to the bar across the street. “Aren’t you going in?”
I shook my head. “I just walked Phoebe. She has a date.”
“You should come.”
I frowned. “I shouldn’t.”
He cocked his head to the side. Meu Deus, what I wouldn’t give to know what was going on inside that pretty head.
“You haven’t been at the ranch,” he said. “I thought you would come back last Saturday or Sunday. I thought you liked riding.”
“I love riding. It’s the only good thing in my life—” I slapped my hand over my mouth and my eyes went wide. Droga, I said too much.
His eyes narrowed. “Audrey still giving you a bad time?”
Of course he would have heard the rumors. “You can say that.”
“One more reason to come back to the ranch and do what you like.”
What was this sudden interest in me going back to the ranch? “I’ll think about it.”
One corner of his mouth curved up. “Good.”
He tipped his hat before turning on his heels and walking across the street to the bar.
I watched his backside, taking in how edible he looked. I didn’t understand him. He worked at the ranch—his father’s ranch—had already graduated college, and yet was always here, especially at The Bat. He seemed to be friends with his half-brother, and he trained his half-sister for show jumping.
Garrett was a mystery—one second he was hot, the next he was cold—and I felt compelled to unravel it.
Chapter Nine
That bold feeling was gone Saturday morning.
I had bad dreams all night about my father telling me he was disappointed in me, about Molly throwing my stuff out the window, about Audrey spreading more lies that everyone believed, and about Garrett and Jonah laughing at me.
I tossed and turned until I finally gave up and shot from my bed at 5:30 a.m. Molly was passed out on her bed. I heard her coming in around two in the morning. Apparently, her nights were fun. Meanwhile, I stayed in and moped.
As quiet as I could, I showered, got dressed, and drove off campus.
I stopped by a Starbucks drive-thru, got a cappuccino, a butter croissant, and then drove the thirty minutes to the ranch while eating. It wasn’t 6:30 a.m. when I parked my car beside the stable, but Tom was already there.
The best part of all? It was too early, and since Garrett had partied last night, I was sure he wasn’t here yet.
With a smile, I walked in the stable. Tom was filling a couple of buckets with grain.
“Morning, Tom.”
Tom stopped working and looked up at me. “Morning, Miss Fernandes. Isn’t it a bit early for you?”
“Not really.” I picked up two of the filled buckets. “Which stalls should I put these in?” He squinted at me, probably wondering what I was doing. I chuckled. “Come on, old man. I’m used to working hard on a ranch. Let me do something, please.”
He considered it for a second more, and then said, “You can put those inside Mandy’s and Sugar Ray’s stalls.”
I glanced around, looking for the right names on the plates over the stall doors. I quickly found them and deposited the buckets inside their stalls. The horses nickered in thanks and dunked their muzzle in the buckets without a second thought. On the way back to Tom, I glanced over Midnight’s stall. He was standing in the back, his head low.
I approached the door. “Hey, big boy, you seem a little sad. What happened?” His ear flicked up and he turned his face to me. His big black eyes met mine and I smiled, encouraging him. “You can tell me.” Slowly, he walked to me. I extended my hand, and he buried his muzzle in my palm. “What happened, big boy?”
He snorted and poked my forearm. With a smile, I ran my hand over his chin and scratched his neck.
“I think he’s tired,” Tom said. “Delilah overworked him yesterday.” There was a hint of reproach in Tom’s tone.
“Has she been jumping for long?”
Tom brought over a bucket and handed it to me. “Since she was twelve, but she hasn’t won many competitions.” He put another bucket in the next stall, and I put the one he gave me inside Midnight’s stall. “She’s signed up for several competitions in the next couple of months. She’s seventeen, and Mr. Hudson said that if sh
e doesn’t make it before her eighteenth birthday, she has to stop fooling around and get serious about college and working for him.”
The horse didn’t even look at it. Although, when I tried to take my hand away from him, he snorted. I smiled. “Cattle business, right?” I asked.
“Right,” Tom said. “As you can imagine, she doesn’t want anything to do with cattle.”
Hilary came to mind. She was Hannah’s younger sister, also almost eighteen, and she was wary of horses. Lately, she was better in that department, but she still didn’t want anything to do with her father’s horse business.
“So she has been overworking Midnight because she feels pressured to win.”
“Yes.” Tom tsked. “Sorry, I shouldn’t be telling you all this.”
“It’s okay. I won’t tell anyone.” I winked and he shook his head.
The sounds of hooves stomping rapidly on the ground approached the stalls, and I looked at the door leading to the arena.
Garrett stopped a beautiful light gray mare outside. He jumped off and entered the stables, pulling the mare with him. He paused when he saw me, his eyes wide. His lips curved slightly. “Good morning,” he said, tipping his hat.
I kept on stroking Midnight’s soft coat. “Morning.”
What was he doing here at this hour? He was supposed to be in bed with a hangover until noon.
His gaze shifted from my eyes to my hand on Midnight. Surprise flicked in his eyes. Or was it wariness? I couldn’t tell. Feeling self-conscious, I lowered my hand from the horse, but he nickered and poked my arm. Frowning, Garrett averted his gaze and guided the mare to the wash stall.
I turned to Tom. “What else can I do?”
Tom looked around. “You could take Autumn Storm for a quick exercise?”
“Sure.”
Garrett was walking the mare, Felicity, to her stall when I pulled Autumn out of the stable, already tacked and ready to go.
After twenty minutes of riding with Autumn through the pasture, I brought him over to the stable through the arena. Garrett was there, standing outside. I slowed Autumn’s steps and Garrett walked toward us. He grabbed Autumn’s reins as I brought him to a stop.
Breaking Fences (The Breaking Series) Page 7
