Until the fence creaked behind me and we froze.
“Meu Deus,” I whispered.
Garrett stepped back, pulling me with him.
He buried his face in my neck and laughed. “Thought I would let you fall?”
“I don’t know. Would you?”
“Depends. If I fell over you, it might be worth it.”
Heat swam in my body, and I slapped his shoulder.
“Garrett!” Tom called.
We sprang apart, as if we had been two teenagers sneaking around behind our parents’ backs to make out.
“Yes?” Garrett asked, turning to the stable.
Tom peeked out the back gate. “Help me in here, please.”
“Sure.” He glanced at me, but didn’t do anything. He didn’t nod, he didn’t cock his brow, and he didn’t smile. Had he regretted kissing me already?
He walked away from me and into the stable.
Careful to avoid the creaking wood, I collapsed against the fencepost.
Chapter Twenty-One
I settled in the coffee shop after my last Monday class—alone, since Phoebe had ditched me to go to the movies with Kevin—and opened my history book. Phoebe, Jonah, and I hadn’t started our damn paper yet, and I didn’t want to leave it for the last minute. It was hard to research when my mind was somewhere else.
And it wasn’t only one thing—it was crazy Audrey, creepy Jonah, missing Phoebe, injured Midnight, bitchy Delilah, and hot Garrett. After the kiss yesterday, he kept busy with chores. He didn’t stop for one minute, and since I wouldn’t play the whiny, needy girl, I didn’t hang around waiting for him to look at me. However, I didn’t want to look like I was running away either. So, I stayed and got busy too. I only left in the middle of the afternoon with an excuse that I had to study. Which I had to do, but wasn’t in the mood to.
I took a long breath and imagined myself riding through green pastures, the sun warming my skin, the wind wiping my hair. That cleared my mind, and I turned my focus to my book.
Until my phone rang. I saw Jonah’s name blinking on the screen and pressed the end button. So much for clearing my mind. The phone rang again. I pressed the end button again, and muted it before the people at the coffee shop started complaining about it.
When the phone rang a third time, I knew he wouldn’t give up.
“What do you want?” I answered, my voice harsh.
“Hi, Brazilian girl.”
“Stop calling me that.”
“But aren’t you a girl? Aren’t you Brazilian? I think it’s perfect.”
“What do you want?” I repeated.
“I bumped into Phoebe after class, and we agreed we should stop delaying and work on our essay.”
“All right. When should we meet?”
“Right now.”
“Wait. No. Phoebe went to the movies with her boyfriend.”
“No, she canceled it. She’s here with me.”
I let out a frustrated breath. “Okay, okay. I’m on my way to the library.”
“Not the library. We’re at The Bat.”
I paused. “Why?”
“Because we were close to here, and I told her we had plenty of brownies and pumpkin spice latte that our maid made this afternoon. She said she couldn’t pass it up.”
That traitor. “I would rather meet at the library.”
“I want to see you convince Phoebe of that. She’s buried in the kitchen right now, and I think we’ll have a hard time talking her out of there.”
I sighed. “I’ll be there in ten.”
“Great.”
I hit the end button and sent a message to Phoebe.
Traitor.
She didn’t answer right away, because she was probably stuffing her face with brownies. I liked brownies too, but I would rather go to Panera or Starbucks and buy one than eat one for free at The Bat.
I closed my book, packed my stuff, and marched out of the coffee shop. The walk to The Bat took only six minutes, and one shove to a guy with grabby hands. Meu Deus, when would they leave me alone? I was tired of walking around feeling like a porn star or something.
I stopped at the door and reached my hand to the bell, but then remembered all the movies I had seen that showed fraternity houses and their unlocked doors. Not surprisingly, I turned the knob and the door opened. A little wary, I stepped into the foyer.
The house didn’t look like it was in full party, but it wasn’t quiet either. Guys milled in the living room, watching a football game. They shouted at the TV as if the players could hear them. On the other side, a trio of guys was seated by the bar, drinking at five in the afternoon. Otimo.
I went to the kitchen at the back of the house. There were more guys there, seated around the island, drinking beer. They stopped talking when I stepped in and stared at me.
“Hey, it’s the Brazilian girl,” one said, standing from the stool. His gaze ran the length of me. “Come to play?”
“As if.” I tried remaining calm. One guy didn’t scare me, but a house full of them could definitely send me into a panic. “Where’s Jonah?”
“Oh, don’t be like that,” another one said. He licked his lips. “Jonah won’t mind sharing.”
I groaned and turned on my heels, exiting the kitchen to the sound of catcalls and wolf whistles. Really? Men.
My will was to leave, but Phoebe was here. I wouldn’t leave her alone inside a house full of horny guys. I reached for my phone and was about to call her, when Jonah appeared on the landing atop of the stairs.
“There you are,” he said, smiling.
“Here I am.” I slipped my phone back into my pocket. “Where’s Phoebe?”
“In my bedroom.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Really? What a convenient place to study.”
“If you want peace and quiet, it is.” He pointed to the doors on each side of the foyer. The living and the dining room. Point taken.
With gritted teeth, I climbed up the stairs and followed him to the third floor. He led me down a long corridor and opened the last door for me. His bedroom was large and neat. A queen bed against the wall, an open closet door, a desk and chair, a tall drawer, and many poster of horses and cowgirls in skimpy outfits.
And no Phoebe.
“Where is she?” I turned to him.
He closed the door behind him and smiled at me. “Not here for sure.”
Fear crawled up my spine. “What do you mean?”
“I lied. I didn’t meet with her, and I have no idea where she is.”
“What?” I grabbed my phone and stared at it. I had sent her a message, and she hadn’t answered. Of course. It wasn’t because she was stuffing her face with brownies or with her nose in a book, but because she was at the movies with her boyfriend, as she said. My hand fell to my side, my grip tightening around my phone. “Are you delusional?”
He took a step closer to me. “It was the only way to make you come here.”
“Y-you got that right. Now, excuse me.” I started walking around him, but he held my arm and pulled me back. “Let me go.”
“Not yet, Brazilian girl. I said you were going to want me, and I’ll make you want me right now.” He pulled my tote from me, threw it on the floor, and pushed me against the bed. I fell, seated, on it. “In five minutes, you’ll be screaming my name.”
What the hell was wrong with him? “Yeah, right.”
He stepped toward me and I rose, pulling my knee up and smashing his precious dick.
He let out a loud groan and doubled over. “Bitch.”
I pushed him back and he fell on his knees. “Listen, you bastard. I’m not a slut. Most Brazilian girls aren’t. If you don’t know, there are sluts in the United States too. Want proof of that? Go on spring break at some fancy beach. You’ll find plenty, and they will do whatever you want them too. As for me, I’m off limits. I’m a nice girl and I won’t let you or Audrey spoil that. Do you hear me?” He groaned. “You don’t get to touch me; you don’t get to speak
to me anymore. Look at me in a way I don’t like, and I’ll knee you again in front of the entire campus.”
“You’ll pay for this,” he croaked.
“As if I care.” I picked up my tote and rushed out of the room, climbing down the stairs three steps at a time.
I crossed the hallway to the sound of hollers and cheers.
“Jonah won?” one asked.
“I think so,” another said.
“Jonah won!” a third one yelled.
What did he win? Me? The guys probably thought Jonah had gotten some. Ugh. The things they thought of me got worse by the minute. Tears brimmed in my eyes, and I hurried out the door. I bumped into a wall, and I would have fallen back if Garrett hadn’t clasped his hands around my upper arms and held me up.
“Bia? What happened?” he asked. I shook my head, and swallowed the tears, the terror, and the anger. His grasped softened and one of his hands slid up, cupping my face. “Hey, talk to me.”
I stepped back and out of reach. He was just like Jonah, only a little subtler. Soon, he would be like his half-brother, only instead of trying to get me alone in a bedroom, he would lock me in the tack room at his father’s ranch.
“I’m okay,” I said, willing my voice to stay strong. “Excuse me.”
I walked past him, but he followed me. He stepped in my way, making me halt. His jaw hardened. “Did someone do something to you?”
I forced my head up and stared at him. “No.”
“But something happened. Why won’t you talk to me?”
“There’s nothing to talk about. Now, please, let me go.”
He stayed in the same spot for a full minute until he finally stepped aside. “Fine.”
I could feel his eyes on me as I walked by him and continued my march down the street, in the dorm’s direction, but I didn’t look back or slow down. I wanted to be as far away as I could from men like them.
Graças a Deus, Molly wasn’t in our room, and I was able to throw myself on my bed and hug my pillow. I fought hard, but a couple of tears rolled down my cheeks. Perhaps I wasn’t as strong as I thought I was. Perhaps this new Bia wasn’t as strong as the old Bia.
My phone dinged. I weighed looking at it, and decided to surrender to it. Whatever it was, I would see it later anyway, so why not get it over with?
Phoebe: I just left the movies. What did I do?
It took me a moment to remember I had called her traitor in my last message. If only she had responded earlier.
Me: Nothing. I was teasing Hannah and I sent the message to you by mistake.
Phoebe: Oh. Good. How are you?
Me: Good.
What a lie.
Phoebe: Great. I’ll see you in class tomorrow.
Me: Yeah. Have fun.
Phoebe: Thanks.
I tossed my phone at the wall, and I was kind of pissed when it didn’t smash into several pieces.
***
Tuesday was cruel. As usual, guys and girls looked at me and whispered and pointed and chuckled or looked at me with disgust. I was getting used to that. I didn’t like it, I wanted to do something about it, but I was getting used to walking around like the clown of the university. Getting used to having only one friend.
However, the day felt cruel nonetheless. I wasn’t sure if it was harder because of the whole almost-sexual-assault from Jonah yesterday, or the kiss with Garrett on Sunday, but something had changed in me, and I felt vulnerable.
Molly wasn’t completely ignoring me anymore, but she still wasn’t speaking more than some necessary words here and there. As for switching rooms, she gave up trying.
My first class went by in a blur. I couldn’t focus and I couldn’t stop my mind from racing. I was sick and tired of Audrey’s lies, I was sick and tired of Molly’s cattiness, I was sick and tired of others staring at me and whispering, and I was so sick and tired of caring about any of that.
Suffocated. That was how I felt. It was as if every little thing came barreling down on me, and I could do nothing to stop it. Having to start college over, being among younger students, living in a tiny, ugly, and cold dorm, not having my mom’s cooking, having near to zero friends, and dragging poor Phoebe down this road. Having an accent and not knowing perfect English. Being away from my crazy brothers and cousin. Being away from Hannah, and even her sister Hilary, whom I got to know a little since Leo and Hannah started dating. Missing my friends in Brazil. Hating that I didn’t miss more of my country and feeling guilty about it. Walking across campus as if nothing affected me, no lies, no stares, no gossip. Not punching Audrey’s face each time she was near me. Having kissed Garrett twice and having it lead to nothing. Being alone. All of those things were my fences. The fences in my path, the ones I couldn’t jump over. The ones closing in on me, suffocating me, and squashing my self-confidence.
Never before had I felt like curling up in my bed and sleeping until everything settled down. The thing was, would it settle down? I hoped it would. Next month, next semester … It had to settle down. They had to forget about me at some point, and I would be able to be myself again.
I hoped.
When the class was over, I stepped into the hallway and a hand closed around my forearm, pushing me back to the wall.
“Hey!”
Audrey’s face was inches from mine, her brown eyes spitting rage. “Who do you think you are?”
“Meu Deus, here we go again.” I pushed her back, but she only staggered a foot away from me. “Didn’t we have this conversation already?”
“I warned you. Stay away from him.” Her voice was loud, and she drew everyone’s attention around us by flailing like a crazy person. “But what did you do? You offered yourself to him.”
My eyes widened. “What?”
She turned to the others with a wicked smile. “That’s right. She knows Jonah and I are a thing, but this girl—” She pointed her thin finger at me. “—couldn’t stay away. She went after my man. She told him she didn’t care that he was in a serious relationship. She just wanted one good night with him.”
A crowd gathered around us, and they all stared at me with more disgust in their eyes. Meu Deus, I hated this girl.
“That’s not true!”
She raised her voice to drown my protests. “What would you do after you had him? Chase another guy? What if the next guy also has a girlfriend? Oh, wait, you don’t care about that.”
“Audrey, that’s enough! Stop inventing lies. I didn’t do anything.”
“Friends, she’s Brazilian. If the university regulations allowed, she would probably parade around wearing those carnival clothes women down there wear. Those shiny, feathery things that cover nothing!” I gritted my teeth. It was Carnaval, not carnival. She didn’t even get the facts straight before accusing me. “Don’t you all know Brazilian women are easy? This one isn’t just easy; she also goes after our men.”
Nothing I said would make this situation better, so I pushed away from the wall and walked away. However, she didn’t leave me alone.
“Yes.” Audrey chuckled, a sick sound that knotted my stomach. “Run away and don’t come back. Take that big ass of yours and stay away from our men, whore.”
Oh, that was it.
I spun around on my boots and was in her face in three steps. Her eyes widened. She wasn’t expecting me to turn back. Well, she wasn’t expecting what I was going to do next either.
I pulled my arm back and punched her pretty, plastic nose.
She yelled, putting her hands over her face.
Screams, laughter, and hoots filled the hallway.
Droga, what had I done?
“You’ll pay for this!” Audrey yelled as I rushed out of the building.
***
On Wednesday, I walked into the history class with ten seconds to spare. I knew the campus was abuzz with news that the crazy Brazilian girl had broken precious Audrey’s nose, so I didn’t give them time to talk to me, to ask me about it, to bother me.
The prof
essor eyed me with a frown. Maybe he noticed I had always been here and ready for class by the time he entered the classroom, and this time was different.
I approached his desk and handed him a thick stack of paper.
“What’s this?” he asked, taking the papers.
“Our essay. Phoebe’s, Jonah’s, and mine.”
“But it isn’t due for another month.”
“I know. But we wanted to cross off our long to-do lists, so we worked hard this weekend to finish it.”
He glanced at Phoebe and Jonah, seated in the back row. I fought the urge to glance back and hoped they didn’t look surprised.
“All right,” the professor said. “Very good.” He faced the class. “Everyone should take that as an example.”
Phoebe watched me with wide eyes, but I shook my head and, instead of sitting beside her as I usually did, I took a seat in the first row, beside a nerdy kid. He stared at me as if he was thirteen and seated beside Gisele Bündchen.
I ignored him and class started.
My phone vibrated in my pocket. Ainda bem that I remembered to put on silence mode.
Phoebe: Why did you do that? And why are you sitting there?
Me: I’ll explain later.
Phoebe: You better.
Like yesterday, this class went by in a blur. The professor dismissed us and, five seconds later, Phoebe was by my side.
“What’s going on?” she asked.
I stood, glancing to the back. Jonah was still in his seat, but his eyes were on me. “Can we talk outside?”
“Sure.”
Side by side, we walked through the hallways, and out the building.
Ten steps after, Phoebe held my arm and stopped. “Tell me—” Her eyes widened. “Haven’t you been sleeping well?”
“Um, why do you ask?”
“You have dark circles under your eyes.”
I pressed my fingertips under my eyes. “I didn’t sleep the past two nights, trying to finish the essay.”
“Why? Why weren’t you in our first class? Why did you do it all alone? And why didn’t you ask me if that was okay?”
“I’m sorry, okay. I’m really sorry. I just …” I sighed and told her about Monday and Tuesday—about Jonah’s plan and how I punched Audrey—as fast as I could. I didn’t want to spend much time on details, reliving it.
Breaking Fences (The Breaking Series) Page 19
