by Dawn Kinzer
Out of respect, Sarah swallowed a retort. “You could be right, Gram. Perhaps it’s something I experienced in a dream.” She flicked the reins and drove the buggy to a shaded area where she could tether the animal near a filled trough. His dark tail swatted circling flies as he plunged his muzzle into the drinking water.
With a forced smile, Sarah strode the short distance back to Gram—patience wasn’t one of the woman’s strengths.
Gram stood erect. “I’m glad to see you’ve cheered up.”
“We’ll have a lovely day, Gram.” Sarah held out her arm.
“I don’t need your assistance. I can manage on my own.” The woman did have dignity.
They opened the black gate and strolled through the yard. Peonies the shade of cotton candy grew next to the fence. Sarah had never tasted the confection, but she’d seen pictures in The Delineator. Black-eyed Susans, daisies, lilies, delphinium as blue as a jay, purple coneflowers, and an assortment of roses and dahlias created colorful gardens.
“Mrs. Hansen. Sarah. I’m glad you’re here.” Will appeared from behind them, carrying a tall, sparkling glass of lemonade. “Quite a scorcher today, isn’t it?”
Gram’s face lit up “It certainly is, Mr. Reed, but a fine day, regardless.”
“The lemonade is yours, and I’ve saved a comfortable chair for you over there.” He pointed to a large shade tree. He offered his arm and Gram took it.
“You are quite a gentleman, Mr. Reed. Thank you.”
Now Gram was willing to accept help.
Red, white, and blue banners decorated the house’s exterior. Guests filled the backyard. Sarah recognized most of them, but others must have traveled from out of town. Tables and chairs covered one end of the lawn, while other areas were used for yard games—badminton, horseshoes, and croquet. One musician plucked a banjo while another strummed a guitar, their lively tune adding to the festivities.
Will led Gram to the spot reserved for her, and she greeted several silver-haired ladies waving red, white, and blue paper fans to cool themselves. After she settled in a chair, he handed her the glass of lemonade.
“The staff is putting out food, but it will probably be a few minutes before it’s served. I’m going to steal Sarah for a little while, Mrs. Hansen, but you’re in good hands.”
“You go right ahead, Mr. Reed. I’ll be fine here with my friends.” Gram gave him a generous smile.
Will held his arm out for Sarah. “I’ve waited all day to have you to myself.”
“With this crowd, there’s not much chance.” Sarah slipped her arm through his. Although flattered that Will enjoyed her company, she’d strive to not mislead him into thinking she could offer more than what she’d already promised.
He led her to a table and surveyed the pitchers of ice water, lemonade, and fruit punch, and a tub of ice chilling bottles of root beer. “I sure could use a cold beer right now. Nothing tastes better on a hot day.”
Was he referring to the root beer? He didn’t mean alcohol, did he? He’d never mentioned it before. Not wanting to experience her grandmother’s wrath, Sarah had limited herself to enjoying a small glass of wine on special occasions. She’d also witnessed some people acting silly and others belligerent when overindulging at social events—like Frank Boyle at the community dance. It was hard enough trying to live down her parents’ mistakes...she didn’t need to create a list of her own.
“You make a habit of drinking?”
“No, I wouldn’t say that I make a practice of consuming.” He gestured toward the table. “What would you like?”
“Just water, please.”
He poured and handed her a glass, then opened a bottle of root beer for himself. “Have you ever toured the house?”
“Only a portion, but it was beautiful.”
“I can show you around.”
Sarah chewed on her lower lip. “Are you sure? George and Alice probably don’t want guests meandering through their home.”
“They won’t mind,” he whispered. “I’m the godson. I have certain privileges.” He flashed a convincing grin.
Sarah followed him through the front door into the formal parlor and stood near the fireplace. “I’ve always admired the bookcase and beautiful woodwork in this room.” Not just the case, but the volumes it held. Her fingers itched to peruse the selection, but they’d entered the house with another purpose in mind.
“Through the dining room is the butler’s pantry. And through there is the kitchen. We probably should stay out today.” He winked, taking her hand. “Care to see the other floors?”
She stepped back. “Maybe we shouldn’t.” A feeling—a gut instinct—warned her not to venture any farther.
“Are you afraid to be alone with me?” he teased.
“No.”
Will cocked his head and arched an eyebrow.
“You don’t believe me?” Sarah never turned down a challenge, and something told her he knew that.
“No, just trying to assure you that you’re safe from me or any retribution from the Carters.”
She held out her hand. “Lead the way.”
They climbed the staircase at the front of the house to the second floor where the majority of bedrooms were located.
“You’ve heard about the roller coaster George built for the children?” Will’s head tilted toward the ceiling.
Sarah’s pulse raced as Will led the way up another set of stairs to the upper level. At the top, guard rails surrounded three sides, but straight ahead, a gate allowed access to that floor. Bright, natural light filtered through windows at both ends of the large, open space. Several trunks were set against one wall, as well as numerous boxes, an old desk, and a floor lamp.
Her lungs felt heavy from the thick, warm air, but Sarah didn’t care. Before her sat the object that had piqued her curiosity. Until now, she’d only imagined the wooden roller coaster, large enough for Mr. Carter’s young daughters to ride. The rails made of flattened steel strips mounted on a laminated wooden track ran the length of the upper floor, then curved at the end of the room, and continued down the other side.
“This is wonderful!” Sarah’s fingers trailed several inches of smooth rail.
Steps led to the highest point in the track where a bright red box, large enough for a small child, sat on a platform. Once pushed, the box would gain enough momentum to follow the track’s dips until it coasted to a stop at the end.
“It is pretty incredible.” Will moved to a window. “Take a look at this.”
Sarah pulled away from studying the roller coaster and pressed close to the glass to get a better view. “The flower gardens look like colorful quilts from up here.”
Encircling her, Will propped his hands on the right and left window frames. He leaned over her right shoulder, his chest pushing against her, and his warm breath gracing her cheek.
Despite the heat, shivers raced down her back. Trapped like a weak butterfly in a cocoon, unable to break free and fly, her stomach fluttered as both fear and unexpected excitement coursed through her. She opened her mouth to protest, but nothing came out.
“George planned entertainment for the evening. Fireworks, I hear,” he whispered, sending tingles along her neck.
“Oh?” Sarah whirled around to escape and became entangled in Will’s arms. Maybe the heat incapacitated her—she couldn’t move.
His eyes searched hers, as if asking for permission. Will lowered his lips and brushed against hers. “Sarah...” His strong hand pressed against the small of her back.
Her heart hammered against her ribs—she could barely breathe. Lips teased hers, then captured them fully. Lost—dizzy—consumed, she responded. By instinct, she wrapped her arms around his neck and hung on, as though on a roller coaster ride of her own as he explored her mouth. Her straw hat slipped from her head and dropped to the floor.
“Will, no!” Sarah wriggled from his grasp, then shoved him in the chest. “Don’t ever do that again.” She grabbed her hat and scurried
down the stairs.
Will’s footsteps echoed close behind until they exited the house. She couldn’t take in enough fresh air—the day’s heat still felt cool compared to the stuffy, third-floor room.
How could she have allowed herself to get caught up in his kiss? Was she that hungry for affection that her sense of right and wrong could become blurred? She should never have agreed to go inside.
“Sarah, please.” Will raced a few steps ahead and faced her. “Are you all right?”
“No, Will, I’m not.” She tried to catch her breath. “That should never have happened.”
“Why?” Will started to reach for her, but she scowled, and he withdrew. “I have feelings for you, and I believe you care for me too.”
“Why can’t you accept that nothing is going to happen between us?”
“Because I don’t believe you.” His eyes grew dark and serious. “You can’t deny that you responded to my kiss.”
“If you ever try that again...” What could she threaten him with? At the moment, she couldn’t even think straight. “We should get back to the party.”
“Wait.” Will grabbed her arm. “Sarah, believe me, I didn’t take you up there to seduce you. I didn’t plan to kiss you.” The confident grip slowly released. “I’m telling the truth.”
“William!” George Carter waved from the horseshoe pit. “It’s your turn to take on a challenge!”
“Will, please go.”
chapteR TWENTY-THREE
Sarah’s damp shirtwaist clung to her back and sides. A cool drink might help. She headed toward the tables loaded with bowls filled with potato salad, coleslaw, baked beans, cucumber salad, and platters of sliced ham and fried chicken. An assortment of cookies, cakes, and pies covered another table. Most people had already filled their plates and were seated.
Gram had found a place with her church friends. Relief rained over Sarah. In her present frame of mind, she didn’t feel up to being questioned as to her whereabouts the last half hour.
“Are you enjoying yourself?” Alice surveyed the table with drinks.
“Yes, very much.” Sarah poured a glass of water, while guilt for lying made her stomach clench.
Alice rearranged the glasses on the table. “I was hoping for a chance to talk, but this may not be the best time.”
“What is it?”
A bee buzzed above a covered pitcher filled with lemonade, and Alice shooed it away with her handkerchief. “I know William is quite taken with you. May I ask what your feelings are for him?”
The older woman was worried about her godson? Strong, capable, independent William Reed? “I think of him as a friend, and I’ve made that quite clear to him.” But by the way he’d just kissed her, she hadn’t made it clear enough. “When he first arrived in town, I wanted to make him feel welcome. He’s attractive and pleasant company, but I’ve explained that my future plans include leaving Riverton.”
Alice released a small sigh. “Good. I’m glad.”
“I would never do anything on purpose to hurt him.”
“Oh, Sarah, I wasn’t worried about him.” Alice glanced around. “I was concerned for you. I love Will. He’s almost like a son to us. I abhor gossip, so I’m leaving it up to him to share what he chooses. But I also feel that, as a friend, I need to warn you. Outward appearances can be deceiving. He’s here because he needs to work through some things in his life, which George and I support. But in the process, I don’t want you to get hurt, and I also don’t want anything distracting you from your plans to serve in Africa.”
“He mentioned once that his father sent him here to get his life in order, but he seems so confident in who he is and what he wants.” He’d certainly made some things obvious only minutes earlier. By returning his kiss, she’d failed him by offering hope that she shared his feelings. Sarah couldn’t let it happen again.
“Just be careful, and please keep what I’ve shared to yourself.”
“Of course.”
“Speaking of Africa, any news from the missions society?” Alice raised her eyebrows. “Have you heard anything at all?”
“No.” Sarah took a drink of water to help steady herself. “I’ve been worried the letter got lost in the mail, so I wrote again two days ago, requesting an update.”
Alice sobered. “It must be difficult—the waiting.”
“Sometimes I feel like my insides are going to explode. I’m trying to live in two worlds, but I can’t plan or make commitments to either.”
“God sees what’s up ahead. We need to hold on to that.” Alice placed her hand on Sarah’s arm. “I’ll pray for you dear, Sarah. For peace and patience. And for answers to come soon.”
Out of the corner of her eye, Sarah caught Peter speaking with Mr. Carter as Mary skipped in a circle nearby with Pearl and Frances Carter. Peter took Mary’s hand and headed to the side of the house.
“Excuse me, Alice.” Sarah hurried to catch up to him.
As Peter rounded the corner of the house, Sarah reached his side and matched his pace. “Leaving so soon?”
“I’ve already spent more time here than planned, and Ellie is expecting us.”
Sarah wet her lips. “Could you stay just a little bit longer?”
“I don’t think so.” He kept walking.
Why couldn’t he look at her? “Peter, have I done something wrong?”
He halted, then knelt next to Mary. “Honey, why don’t you check the flower garden over there and see if you can find any ladybugs. I promise we’ll leave for Aunt Ellie’s soon.”
“Don’t take long.” Mary twirled her way to the flower bed. “I want to play with Grace.”
Peter thrust his hands into his pants pockets, and his jaw hardened. “What’s going on, Sarah?”
“Have I done something wrong?” The last time they’d had a little spat was after the Young Society’s picnic, but that was almost two weeks prior.
“No.” Peter squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his forehead. He opened his eyes, and his gaze locked on to hers. “I saw you and William together a few minutes ago. It didn’t look like a casual conversation—it actually seemed quite intimate.” He took a deep breath. “I’m confused.”
“I—I don’t know what you saw, or what you think you saw, but nothing is going on between me and Will.”
“Come on, Sarah.” Peter shoved his fingers through his hair. “You’ve never been able to lie to me. I can hear it in your voice, not to mention your face turns red and you get a certain look in your eyes.”
Sweat trickled down her back. If she were dishonest, it would only make them both feel worse. “Will wanted to give me a tour of the house, and I accepted his offer. I’d never seen the second or third floors, and I was curious about the roller coaster.” Sarah’s throat ached. “While we were up there—”
“Did Will take advantage of you?” Peter’s expression hardened. “Force you into anything?”
“No.” She had no choice but to tell the truth. “He kissed me, that’s all.” Sarah stared at the grass, almost willing to be buried beneath it.
Peter expelled a rush of air, loud enough for Sarah to hear. She compelled her eyes to seek his, and it didn’t take long to find them, serious and void of vulnerability.
“I can’t tell you what to do, but as your pastor—”
“Wh-hat?” Her hands clenched at her sides. If they’d been much younger, she would have taken a hard swing at him. “You’re going to respond as my pastor?”
“Sarah,” he said in a sad and tender voice. “If not your pastor, then your friend. I don’t have any other right.” He stole a glance at Mary, still searching for bugs. “If you have feelings for William and he for you, then you should pursue a relationship. But unless you’re sure it’s what God wants for you...”
Enough with the sermon. Did he feel nothing as a man? Why continue to hope that he could one day love her? “I appreciate your concern, but I’m not interested in Will.”
“Then why did you let him kis
s you?” Was that hurt in his voice?
“I—I’m human.” Prickles burned behind her eyes. “I have emotions...desires.” Her voice caught. “I didn’t mean for it to happen, but it did.”
“You can’t wait to leave town and the people who love you, but you’re easily persuaded to fall into the arms of a man with whom you don’t even want a relationship?” Peter shook his head as though dumbfounded. “I guess I didn’t know you as well as I thought, or have you changed that much while I was gone?”
She sucked in her breath. “That’s unkind.”
“Oh, Sarah...” Peter rubbed his eyes. “I don’t want you to make poor decisions like I did and get distracted because of misplaced romantic notions and then later live with regrets.”
“Please don’t condemn me for one mistake.” Sarah blinked back moisture threatening to spill. “Because that’s what it was—a mistake. It will never happen again.”
“Daddy, can we go to Aunt Ellie’s now?” Mary hopped around Peter.
He grabbed her hand. “Yes, we can go now.” The two walked toward the front of the house.
Mary turned and waved with her free hand. “Bye!”
Tears trembled on the edge of Sarah’s lashes. Peter’s words stung. She yearned to experience passion in a relationship with the man she loved and in serving God. Had her blunder cost her one or both?
chapteR TWENTY-FOUR
It would have been easier to stay home from worship that morning. The last words Peter had spoken to Sarah—hurtful remarks —lingered in her thoughts and heart, stealing her joy. Even worse, what she imagined he’d wanted to say and didn’t. But faking an illness never fooled Gram, and breaking a leg on purpose seemed a bit extreme. So, there she sat as always, next to her grandmother in the third row on the right.
Peter stepped away from the pulpit, making eye contact with his parishioners as he challenged them to trust God for all their needs. Afraid of what she’d see in his gaze, Sarah focused on the locket hanging from the chain around her neck, caressing the smooth back with her thumb. What had filled his mind these past hours? Was he glad to see her there? Did he yearn for peace between them? There was a time when all she had to do was glance at him to know his thoughts. Now uncertain, Sarah hungered to know the truth.
