A New Hope

by M. L. Ray

  Pastor Cottrell looked at the young woman who had finally exhausted herself and was now lying prostrate on the ground. “Let me go talk to her. Your mother is wanting to run to the store, would you mind taking her?”

  Trey looked at where Jenna lay, and then nodded to his dad, placing a hand on his shoulder, “Dad, I can’t explain it, and I know the timing isn’t right, but I care what happens to her.”

  Terrence looked at his son and nodded, “I can see that. Trey, you’ve always been a compassionate person, but I can tell there’s something different about your feelings for Jenna. You may not know this, but whenever she and Michelle were at the house and would start singing, I would step out of my study and just listen. I lost track of the times I heard you open your bedroom door and do the same.

  “That young woman has a true gift, and while it may have been mothballed for the last several years, God has wonderful plans to use all of the hardships she’s suffered for the good. Nothing happens in His world by mistake or accident. I can see that you’ve been feeling guilty over your part in her leaving Cathedral Hills, but even that wasn’t an accident. You have to believe that God is working everything out according to His plan.”

  “I do believe that, but how could Jenna having suffered so much be considered a good thing?”

  “I didn’t say that, son. I said that God could turn those trials into victories if she’ll let Him.”

  Trey nodded his head, “I think she’s already started down that path. She wants to open up some sort of half-way house for teens who were like her. She’s even studying to become a licensed counselor.”

  Terrence looked out over the cemetery and then back at Trey, “Take your mother to the store and leave Jenna to me. I’ll talk with her and you can pick her up when you get back.”

  Trey watched his father start out across the cemetery grounds, relieved that he didn’t have to try and navigate Jenna’s emotions by himself. It wasn’t that he wasn’t willing, but he just felt so inept. He could manage the paperwork and duties of running the small bank, but he hadn’t a clue as to how to help Jenna come to terms with everything in her life. Just be there for her. Be her friend. Be her confidant when she needs one. Be the shoulder she cries on when her insecurities paralyze her and keep her from moving forward.

  Trey closed his eyes and asked God to be with his father as he tried to help Jenna. Opening them, he felt better and headed over to retrieve his mother. The quicker he took her to the store and got back, the sooner he’d be able to put into action what he was being directed to do.

  Chapter 16

  Terrence approached Jenna quietly, wondering, when she didn’t stir, if she’d fallen asleep. As he came up next to her, he saw that her eyes were open, tear tracks drying on her cheeks, her hands clutching a small leather book as if it was her last lifeline.

  “Jenna?”

  Jenna sat up abruptly, hearing someone other than Trey call her name. Looking to her left, she saw Pastor Cottrell standing nearby with his hands in his pants pockets. “Pastor.”

  “Mind if I sit down?” Pastor Cottrell inquired, gesturing to a spot on the grass nearby.

  “No. Sorry if I disturbed you. I guess I was pretty loud, huh?”

  “Depends,” he replied.

  “On what?” Jenna asked, perplexed at his one word answer.

  “Did you say everything you needed to say?”

  Jenna started to answer him in the affirmative and then paused, “Not quite. I told him everything wrong he did, but I didn’t get around to telling him I forgive him.”

  “Ah,” Pastor said with a nod of his head. “You know, Jenna. Forgiveness is the most precious gift we can ever give. It not only frees the person who has wronged us, it frees us to live in grace and peace. Forgiveness is like untying a balloon. Once given, it allows all of the negative emotions attached to the situation to float away, never to return.”

  Jenna was quiet for several minutes, her finger alternating between picking up fallen leaves, and pulling up blades of grass as she thought about his comments. “I do forgive him, but I wish I had tried to contact him sooner and been able to tell him that face to face.” She held up the small journal, “I found this in his desk drawer this morning. He prayed for me every day for the last five years and some.”

  Pastor nodded his head, “Yes, he did. He also met with the men of the congregation once a week for a Bible study, and not a week went by where he didn’t request prayer for you. Never doubt your father’s love for you, Jenna. You were his life! He was a perfect man, by no means. But he did repent and try to make things right the last few years of his life. That is what counts!”

  Jenna nodded, “I’ve hated him for a long time. How do I let go of that? I can’t forget what I suffered because of his actions.”

  “No one’s asking you to forget, but maybe you could find a way to turn those hardships and struggles into battles won and victories. God never promised us easy lives, but He did promise to always be with us. You may not realize it now, but God never left you. He was with you through everything.”

  “I know that. I abandoned him, I think. I was so angry when I first left here, and then hurt and alone, and depression set in. I allowed my circumstances to dictate my choices, and I made some monumental mistakes.”

  “But you’re here now, so those mistakes were rectified, correct?”

  “Yes. To tell you the truth, since I arrived in Cathedral Hills yesterday, everything has been so different than I thought, I feel like I’ve been crying the entire time.”

  “Trey mentioned that you felt like everyone here had abandoned you. Can you accept that you believed a lie?”

  “I’m trying. I really am. My counselor said pretty much the same thing to me this morning when I called her. It sounds easy on paper, but maybe a little more difficult in actual practice.”

  Pastor Cottrell was silent for a moment, and then suggested, “Jenna, I want to pray with you, and then I think we should head indoors to wait for Trey and Mary to return.”

  Jenna glanced to where Trey had parked his vehicle, frowning when the parking space was empty, “Where did he go?”

  “Mary needed a few things from the store and I asked him to drive her there and back. Let’s say a prayer together. Gracious Heavenly Father, we ask right now that you would be with Jenna. Strengthen her and let her feel your comforting presence as she confronts the lies she has lived beneath for these last few years.

  “Give her your wisdom to discern the truth, and give her a clear direction for her future. Be with her now as she let’s go of the negative feelings of abandonment and hurt, and give her peace in the knowledge that she can move forward from this point on having forgiven every wrong thing she has suffered. Heal her emotional scars and give a new found purpose for her life. In Your Holy name we pray, Amen.”

  Jenna lifted her head, feeling a lifting inside her soul. She smiled, and for the first time in years, it reached her eyes. “Thank you,” she told Pastor Cottrell. “I really do feel better.”

  “Good. Now, if you would be so kind as to give me a hand up off this damp grass. I’m not as young as I used to be, and the old knees are starting to complain a bit.”

  Jenna laughed, pushing herself to her feet and then giving Pastor Cottrell a hand up off the ground. “There you go.”

  “Thank you, my dear. Now, I hope we’ll see you in church Sunday?” he inquired as he led the way back to the small home he shared with his wife.

  “I guess so. Yes, I will be there.” Jenna smiled. “Pastor, when I first arrived I had no intention of spending even one night in this town. How is it that in less than thirty-six hours, I can’t imagine ever leaving here again?”

  “Your heart recognizes this as home, Jenna. You came back to Cathedral Hills thinking with your head, because your heart was broken and it hurt to follow its leading. But now, your heart is in charge and it knows that Cathedral Hills is more than just a small mountain town. It’s home and safety, and…”


  “Maybe my future? I want to open up a facility for other kids like me. A private facility that doesn’t rely on the State for funding. Believe me, I’ve seen what that kind of oversight does, and I want a place where kids can go to get help, not just become another paycheck in the facility owner’s pocket.”

  “Jenna, I think you can do anything you put your mind to. And I can’t think of a more loving community to base your program out of. I want you to know that you have my full support and I will gladly help you in any way I can. I think you’ll find most of the townsfolk are of a like mind.”

  Jenna said nothing as his words sank in. She had a community that cared. Not just about others, but about her! As she waited for Trey to return from the store, she thought about the program she wanted to start and smiled at how perfect Cathedral Hills would be for such a program.

  It was located in middle of nature, but not so far away from bigger towns as to be isolated. Pastor Cottrell was correct in that the townsfolk of Cathedral Hills had always been known for their generosity and compassion. If she did this right, the entire town could help play a part in the nurturing and healing of young kids who found themselves in circumstances like her own.

  She already knew Pastor Cottrell and his wife would be on board to help, and Missy and the other girls would pitch in as they were able to. Trey was a whiz at financial matters, so he could easily handle the financial aspects of the program. Now all she needed was a co-director. She needed Michelle.

  Turning to look at Pastor Cottrell as he started heating water for tea, she asked, “When is Michelle due back home?”

  “Tomorrow afternoon if everything goes right.”

  “Is there a problem at the camp?” Jenna asked, wondering why Trey hadn’t mentioned it to her.

  “No. Michelle is wandering a bit right now. She finished her social work degree, partly inspired by what happened to you, but after working for the State for eight months, she quit and moved back home. She’s disillusioned, and I think heartbroken over a man she’d been dating for several months.

  “Her mother and I never got a chance to meet him, and she hasn’t mentioned him by name. We went to see her about a month before she came home, and she received several phone calls from someone that caused her to cry, even though she tried to hide it from her mother and me. She hasn’t offered to talk about the situation, and we’ve been trying to give her some space. Mary thinks she was very invested emotionally in this relationship and it wasn’t reciprocated.

  “To make matters worse, she was very distraught about one of her cases. She couldn’t discuss it with us, but I could tell it was destroying her little by little each day.”

  “She hasn’t talked about it since coming home?” Jenna asked, wishing Michelle was standing next to her and she could hug her tight. Are you sure she’d welcome your attention? Jenna shook her head and banished the negative thoughts from her mind. Of course she will.

  “No. She moved in with Trey, and he’s been trying to get her to open up to him, but so far – nothing. Maybe now that you’re home, you two can help each other heal.”

  Jenna started to deny that she was home, but stopped herself. This is starting to feel like home again. It could be if I gave it a chance, I just know it. “I don’t know that I can be of much help, but I’m a good listener, if she wants to talk.”

  Pastor Cottrell handed her a cup of water and a tea bag, “Sometimes that’s all we need. Someone to listen. We already know the answers inside, we just have to be willing to let them out.”

  “Well, if she’ll talk to me, I’ll do my best.”

  Chapter 17

  The rest of the day went by quickly. Trey arrived back just in time to take Jenna back to her parents’ house and meet the girls for lunch. He excused himself from the festivities, needing to head back to the bank and take care of some business matters.

  Jenna and the girls headed towards the bridge, and in some ways it was just like old times, only they were all older and rather than planning the elaborate fairytale weddings, they were now discussing plans for Missy’s baby shower and decorating the nursery.

  Missy’s parents had gladly taken over the mortgage payments for the house she had moved into with her now deceased husband, until his life insurance had come in. She’d been able to pay off the house, and put some money aside for the future of her unborn child.

  Stephanie and Taylor had already ordered the baby furniture, and it was now sitting in the middle of the nursery, waiting to be put together. They were going to tackle the project themselves, but then Trey’s mother had suggested they add that chore to the community service day, which was taking place tomorrow.

  Jenna listened in as they discussed the yearly event and how wonderful it made everyone in the community feel to be helped out, and to also be the ones helping others out. The older women were in charge of preparing sack lunches for the work crews, and the community dinner that would follow, after the workday was complete.

  The men and able women would split up into groups and scour the community with handyman skills, yard services, and any other needs – like putting together baby furniture, one of their own might be in need of. The women decided that early the following week they would drive into one of the larger cities nearby and purchase the decorative items needed to finish the nursery. Missy had asked for the project to be a surprise, and as she knew she was already having a boy, it would make the shopping trip that much easier.

  When Stephanie and Taylor suggested Jenna join them, she politely declined on the grounds that she really needed to stick around and get the rest of her parents’ affairs in order so she could move on with her own. After hearing that Michelle was struggling, she wanted to make herself available to help and she couldn’t do that if she was off gallivanting around the countryside looking for diaper bags, bassinettes, and baby swings!

  “I’d be happy to help you set everything up when you get back,” she offered as a concession.

  “That would be great!”

  Lunch continued, and finally Jenna realized that she had yet to hear anyone talk about Brooke. She waited until there was a break in the conversation and then she asked, “So, what’s up with Brooke?”

  The women looked at each other and finally Missy spoke up, “Brooke always loved drama and being the center of attention. During our senior year, she went to an open audition and a few months later she got a job offer from a firm out in California. Everyone tried to talk her out of going, but she was determined to make it big.

  “She came home every couple of months for the first few years, but then her visits got further and further apart. She moved to New York two years ago, and Stephanie saw her once, but no one’s heard from her other than email in over a year.”

  “So, she answers her emails, but won’t pick up a phone and call home?” That doesn’t sound like the Brooke I once knew!

  “She really has us worried. It’s so unlike her to just quit communicating or coming home. Her mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s two years ago, and her last visit home was pretty rough on her. Mrs. Jameson didn’t even recognize her own daughter.”

  “That had to hurt!”

  “It did. Brooke was pretty emotional the entire time she was here, more so than normal, but we all chalked it up to finding out about her mom and stuff. That was the last time she was home, and we’re really not sure what’s up with her now.”

  “I’m going to try and look her up with I get to New York. If nothing else, I can at least put eyes on her and let everyone here know she’s doing all right.”

  “What about her father and brother?” Jenna asked.

  “Her dad spends all of his time taking care of his wife. He retired from the pharmacy when she got sick, and Tyler’s some big bull rider on the national rodeo circuit.”

  “Wow! Things have changed around here. Bull riding, huh? Isn’t that like the most dangerous rodeo event you can do?”

  All three women nodded their heads, “It is. He’s had severa
l concussions, and even dislocated his shoulder during a State final a few years ago, but he says it’s in his blood and he can’t imagine doing anything else until his body calls it quits.”

  “More like his brain’s going to be too scrambled to think straight before he quits!” Taylor added, a hint of anger in her tone.

  “Do I sense a problem?” Jenna asked.

  “No. No problem. Just stupid boys who think they’re invincible.”

  Jenna chuckled, “I remember my momma saying that little boys grow into bigger boys, and because they’re bigger they just find more dangerous toys to play with. Guess she was talking about something like this.”

  The women shared a laugh and then stared as Trey walked onto the bridge, “Hey Trey. I thought you were going to avoid our little gab fest.”

  “Ladies, I would if I could. I thought maybe I’d come get Jenna and take her back to the house. Michelle’s home early.”

  The somberness of his tone caught everyone’s attention and Taylor demanded an explanation, “What’s wrong?”

  “I don’t know that there’s anything wrong, per se. She’s got a sprained ankle from tumbling down the side of a slope, but there’s something else going on.”

  “She drove down the mountain with a sprained ankle?” Missy demanded, angry at even the thought of Michelle putting herself in danger like that.

  Trey shook his head, “No. She didn’t drive herself down. The camp had special guests this week from the rodeo. Tyler Jameson drove her down.”

  “Tyler’s home?” Stephanie asked, as the other women echoed her question.

  “Yeah, I guess he’s thinking about retiring and starting a rodeo training camp down in Ridgway. He’s also taking over the horseback riding up at the camp and stopped by there to inspect everything. When Michelle hurt herself, I guess he volunteered to drive her down.

  “I’m not sure what’s going on, but something seems to have really upset Michelle. I mentioned I had a surprise for her,” glancing at Jenna he added, “that would be you, and I’m hoping that seeing you will put a smile back on her face.”