by M. L. Ray
She stepped out of the office, pulling the door shut behind her and started across the clearing. The staff was busy stacking the logs for the end of the week bonfire the kids always enjoyed, and she stopped to speak with the camp’s assistant director, Shannon Caldwell, for a minute. After being informed everything was still under control, she headed for her own private sleeping quarters. Her head hurt just from the amount of things that needed to be done before the first of the year if the camp was to survive.
“Michelle?”
Michelle heard someone call her name and whirled around, almost dropping the paperwork she held in her hands. She scanned the area around the fire ring until she placed the voice. When she saw him, she couldn’t stop her heart from racing, or the many thoughts that rushed through her brain. Tyler? Oh mercy, what is he doing here?!
“Tyler.” Michelle was proud of herself for keeping her voice nice and calm. “What brings you to Camp Red Bird?” She tried not to let her eyes take in his person, but she couldn’t help it. His chosen career path put him in harm’s way each time he stepped inside a chute and even though she told herself she no longer cared, she couldn’t resist making sure he was alright.
“I’m taking over the horseback riding program and thinking about retiring.” Tyler looked Michelle over, narrowing his eyes as he took in her too-slim figure and the dark circles beneath her eyes. “Have you been sick?”
Heartbroken? Yes! Physically ill? No! “Not really, I just haven’t been getting a lot of sleep.” There is no way I’m going to admit how badly you hurt me. I’m made of stronger stuff than that! And my lack of sleep has nothing to do with you!
“So,” Tyler looked around and then smiled, “the camp seems to be going well.”
Michelle jumped at the change of conversation, not wanting to delve into the past with him. “It is.” An awkward silence ensued before she spoke again, “I thought you were still competing. I didn’t realize you had decided to retire.” You couldn’t even call and tell me that our last fight was pointless after all? Michelle swallowed back the tears that were threatening to fall. Snippets of their last conversation tried to push their way to the forefront, but she quickly slammed the door on those memories. There’s nothing to be gained from going there!
She shuffled her feet, anxious to get away from him before she made a complete fool of herself. Keep it together for a few more minutes. Be polite, but distant. He left you, remember?
Tyler and she had been dancing around their attraction to each other since they were seniors in high school. Neither one of them had been willing to jeopardize their friendship by crossing that invisible line. Then he had taken off on the rodeo circuit, and she had gone away to college in Wyoming.
She’d run into him at a rodeo on the eastern slope of Colorado two years earlier, and the two had reconnected. He had still been traveling on the circuit, but had been based out of Colorado Springs that season; traveling between Denver and Colorado Springs had been an easy jaunt in-between competitions. He had come to Denver at least once a month and she had rearranged her schedule to spend as much time with him as possible.
Over the course of a year, their friendship had developed and Michelle felt like Tyler had become one of her best friends. Her childhood crush on him was still there, but they had been careful to let their relationship grow without confusing things with too much physical interaction. They had exchanged a few kisses, and had even begun holding hands and cuddling while watching the television or some other mundane activity, but neither of them had been in a hurry to take things too fast.
Their conversations had begun to follow the path of their futures, and several times they had traveled down the “what if” road, trying to figure out what a long-term relationship between them might look like. As they had begun to talk about the future together, Michelle had been praying for God’s direction and guidance. At the age of twenty-three, she wasn’t willing to compromise on either of their happiness and set them up for a lifetime of hurt.
Michelle had taken a new position in northern Colorado, making their time together even harder to come by. When the State rodeo finals had been in Denver, she had driven down to watch and been horrified to see the top bull rider on the circuit have his neck broken when his glove had gotten caught up in the ropes.
She recalled watching in horror as his limp body was tossed around the back of the beast, contorting in ways the human body wasn’t meant to move. Before they’d been able to free him, his neck had snapped and he’d stopped breathing. The medical team had worked on him for hours, but he had finally been declared dead the next day.
Unbeknownst to Tyler, Michelle had been working with a young mother whose husband’s recklessness and need for the next adrenaline rush had taken not only his life, but that of their eight year old son. The mother was only twenty-five years old and had already attempted suicide once in the midst of her depression.
Michelle had majored in social work, partly because of what had happened with her best friend Jenna while growing up, and she had been assigned this young woman’s case. It had been the hardest case of her life!
The tragedy surrounding this young woman was further compounded when the young mother found out that her husband had died, not only with their son by his side, but with his current girlfriend along. He’d been cheating on her for several months and the girlfriend had been five months pregnant when she and her baby were killed.
She had thought he was at the local amusement park with their son, enjoying some father-son bonding time while she helped care for her aging mother who was in the hospital recovering from hip replacement surgery. She’d had no idea that he was actually doing some amateur boat racing, illegally and without proper safety protection on their son or himself.
The story about a tragic boat accident had hit the news stations before the police had come looking for the young woman, finding her at her mother’s bedside. She’d had no idea how drastically her life would change as she’d sat there watching the news report and feeling sorry for the family members of the deceased.
The effect of dealing with the young woman’s situation had Michelle feeling very vulnerable and living beneath a shadow fear. Intellectually, she knew that the odds of Tyler becoming seriously injured were in his favor, but fear was a living, breathing entity that consumed her dreams and her thoughts. Each time she closed her eyes and thought of Tyler, she had visions of him lying in the dirt, bleeding and broken as a bull trampled his lifeless body!
It was irrational, and not something she’d had the courage to mention to him yet. She didn’t want him to ever feel that she had forced him to give up his dream to make her happy, so she had made herself miserable. After watching another rider die, her fears only escalated and she became a person she didn’t even recognize anymore.
She had pleaded with Tyler to stop and find something else to do. When he’d wanted to discuss her fears, she’d been unwilling to share everything that was going on in her head. That very same rodeo, only minutes earlier, he’d dislocated his shoulder. The end result had been a surgical fix, and three months of therapy before he was released to start riding again.
When she’d watched the medical team escort him out of the ring, Michelle had made the startling revelation that not only was Tyler her best friend, he was her soul mate. She loved him! Not in a teenage crush sort of way either. She loved him with her entire being and the thought of him not being there left her shaken to the core. Michelle had been sure he felt for her the same way she felt for him. They had discussed coming back to Cathedral Hills and starting a rodeo training school and a therapeutic riding program for kids, but once he’d received his doctor’s release, he’d been off and running.
The last time she’d seen him, they had argued fiercely over what she viewed as his defection and lack of feelings for her. He tried to explain to her he just needed one more successful season, but she hadn’t been willing to listen. Her fears came rushing back in, and her sense of well-being and hap
piness disappeared. When he drove away, she mourned his loss; sure she would be mourning him for real in the very near future.
Chapter 21
Tyler watched the emotions on Michelle’s face, knowing she was remembering the way he’d left a year and some ago. He hadn’t handled her fears very well, and had accused her of wanting to control him and steal his dreams from him. He’d known that something was bothering her, but she’d declined to discuss it with him, even though he’d asked repeatedly. He knew it had something to do with a work case, and he’d finally stopped asking, honoring her desire to handle it on her own.
When she’d become irrational about him riding again, he’d briefly tried to figure out what was motivating her to act out in such an uncharacteristic fashion, but she’d given him nothing. She’d accused him of being uncaring, and some of the things that had been said between them were very hurtful. He’d responded in kind, throwing his own accusations out that she cared more for her job and her clients, and that she was just trying to manipulate him into doing what she wanted. The accusations had been unfair, and he had acted out in a very juvenile fashion, driving away and nearly getting himself killed that weekend when he drew a bull he knew he couldn’t ride and not withdrawing.
He’d known before stepping into the chute that things were going to end badly. But rather than listening to his gut, he’d climbed on board Widow Maker and then gave the signal for the gate to be opened. He’d not even managed a three-second ride, when the huge animal twisted around, dislodging him from his seat on its broad back. Luckily, the bull’s horns had missed him, but not his clothing. The animal had tossed him across the arena as if he was made of plastic, only being prevented from goring him when the rodeo clowns had intervened and physically diverted the animal from further attack.
He’d spent five days in the hospital for broken ribs, and a broken collarbone, but still his pride had kept him going. The latest disaster to befall one of his own had finally woke him up and managed to help him realize what was truly important in life.
His old roping buddy, Adam Landry, had changed to bull riding at the same time Tyler had. Together, they had been either first or second in every competition this year. Tyler had been the best man at Adam’s wedding to Lorelei six months ago, and the three had been traveling together when everything changed.
Adam had been trailing Tyler by just a few points before his last ride, and had drawn Schizo to ride. The bull was enormous, with a nasty temper, and eyes that put fear into most men. Tyler and Lorelei had tried to convince him to refuse to ride the animal, but Adam was very competitive and wouldn’t be dissuaded.
Tyler had stayed by Lorelei’s side as Adam prepared for his ride, silently praying that God would be with him on this ride. A never before known fear had taken up residence in the pit of his stomach, and he could tell Lorelei was just as worried.
The bell sounded, the gates opened, and Adam and the bull flew out of the chute. Adam twisted and turned with the animal, managing to stay on its back until the eight-second clock sounded. The rodeo clowns entered the arena to try and distract the bull, but the animal was in a frenzy.
Adam’s hand had gotten stuck in the ropes, and as he tried to maintain his position on the back of the bull and free his glove, Schizo decided to take things into his own hands. He flung himself at the arena walls, twisting his body to smash Adam up against the boards, the animal’s massive weight crushing him in the process.
The action loosened the ropes enough to free Adam’s hand, but instead of getting up and to safety, he crumpled to the ground in an unmoving heap of humanity. The medics rushed into the arena, the clowns and other riders having managed to corral the bull back into his pen.
Tyler had rushed Lorelei to her husband’s side, staying with her as they had watched the medics call for the helicopter and place his friend in a neck brace and on a backboard. Adam had briefly opened his eyes and smiled up at his wife, but he had then passed out and remained that way.
The next three weeks were touch and go for Adam. He had a crushed spinal cord, no feeling or movement from his waist down, and the prognosis for keeping his upper extremity movement wasn’t good. Lorelei was a trouper, but at the end of the day, she now found herself married to a man who would probably never walk again.
The emotional toll on all of them had made Tyler finally sit up and consider some of the things Michelle had said to him. She’d been fearful for his safety, and now he knew why. He watched as Lorelei tried to keep it together in front of Adam, but he also saw how broken she was in the quiet of the night, or whenever she thought no one was looking.
Tyler couldn’t imagine Michelle having to go through that and suddenly he understood. He’d gone straight to Michelle, hoping to beg her forgiveness and start again, only to find out that she had quit her job suddenly and gone back home.
That information had spurred his decisions, and it had taken him only another three weeks to put the ball in motion. He helped liquidate their travel trailers and other rodeo equipment they wouldn’t need on the next leg of their journey.
He’d sold his small condo in Colorado Springs, and made plans to move back to Cathedral Hills. He’d convinced Adam and Lorelei to move with him, and as soon as Adam was out of the hospital, they would be coming to Cathedral Hills to start the next phase of their lives.
He’d been planning to look Michelle up this weekend, hoping to move forward himself, and was totally unprepared for this meeting. Here. In this place.
Swallowing, he offered, “I was planning on looking you up this weekend, once I got settled in Cathedral Hills. I was hoping you’d have dinner with me or something.”
Michelle started shaking her head as she backed away from him. “No. I don’t think that’s a good idea. I’m glad you decided to retire. I’m sure your parents will be glad to have you back home.”
“Michelle, wait…we need to talk. I know the last time…”
Michelle kept backing up, not even caring that she was very close to the edge of the slope. “Tyler, really, I don’t have time to talk right now. I need to get these forms over to …”
“Michelle, watch out…” Tyler quickened his steps, hoping to catch her before…
“Don’t worry about me. I…,” her voice broke off on a cry as she took one too many steps backwards, losing her footing and starting a backwards fall down the slope of the mountain.
Michelle threw the papers up in the air, trying to twist her body to break her fall and keep from ending up at the bottom of the ravine, but her foot caught in a root. She felt and heard a loud wrenching sound from her ankle as she fell to her side, ending with her upside down and only saved from tumbling further by the agonizing pain in her ankle.
“Michelle! Hang on! Don’t move!” Tyler hurriedly scrambled down the slope until he was level with her hips. “Reach up and give me your hands and I’ll untangle your foot.”
“I don’t… think… I can….” Michelle tried to breathe through the pain and do as he requested, but as she started to pull herself up, the pain overwhelmed her and she blacked out.
Tyler noticed the exact moment she fainted, and made short work of untangling her foot and then pulling her back up to even ground. The camp nurse removed her boot and after a careful examination, didn’t think anything was broken, but also didn’t want Michelle trying to drive on it.
When Tyler stepped in and offered to drive her home, Michelle said nothing, but Tyler didn’t let it faze him. He knew he had hurt her, and he saw this as a chance to start making amends. He tried to engage her in conversation as they drove down the mountain, but Michelle refused to even look at him.
When they arrived at Trey’s house, he watched as she hobbled inside the house and shut him out. He didn’t press the issue, but if Michelle thought things were finished between them, she didn’t know him very well at all. He was as tenacious as they came, and he was determined to show Michelle that their futures belonged together. As he drove away from Trey’s home, he
started planning his campaign. Michelle Cottrell belonged with him. Now he just needed to prove to her that he knew that as well!
Chapter 22
Michelle hobbled into the house she currently shared with her brother Trey. Her ankle was hurting badly, but it was secondary to her desire to get away from Tyler. Just sitting in the car next to him brought back old feelings she really didn’t want to analyze.
On the one hand, she was glad he had decided to retire. He would be safe from getting maimed by the next bull he rode. That was a good thing in her mind. But on the other hand, he was back in town and wanted back in her life. Her heart hadn’t finished healing from the last time he broke it. I don’t think I can do this again. What if he changes his mind and needs the excitement of the rodeo again? What if living in Cathedral Hills isn’t enough for him anymore? What then?
She’d only been home a short while, unable to deal with the strictures of working for the state’s department of social services. She’d known that her young client was grieving fiercely the loss of her son, her husband, and their marriage. When she’d tried to kill herself the second time, Michelle had broken protocol and brought the young mother into her own home for a few nights. A few nights which had turned into her last final few weeks!
The young woman, Celia Jansen, had touched Michelle on a very deep level. Her grief had consumed her for more than a year, and Michelle was anxious to help her find a way to cope and go on living. She thought they had finally reached a turning point in Celia’s grief, when Michelle had come home from a late night at the office to find Celia lying in a pool of her own blood inside the guest bathtub. She’d slit her wrists, correctly this time, and bled to death while Michelle was finishing bureaucratic paperwork!
Celia had left a note for Michelle, thanking her for being such a caring person, and doing so much to help her. She’d talked about her devastating loss and how it was just too much to bear, even a year later. She’d asked Michelle to say a prayer for her soul, that God would somehow be merciful and allow her to be reunited with her son in Heaven.
