He found his voice. “No, I'm not going with you today, sweet girl. Some other time. Just wanted to say, bye. Get a bye hug."
"Okay, bye,” she accepted his explanation and hugged him tightly with dignity as though she were a queen bestowing a favor on a faithful servant. Her tiny fingers patted his back.
"Reese...” Aunt Pelly began in a warning tone, only to fall silent and then lead the child onward across the lawn to the house next door.
What she'd been about to say, he could only guess. Pleading mercy for Ashley, perhaps. He damn well wasn't interested in seeing this situation from Ashley's side right now. Not yet.
His dad eyed him with suspicion and a warning frown. “Don't know what you've been up to, Son, but fix it. And don't do anything stupid you'll regret the rest of your days on this earth."
He shook his head. “I'll try, Dad."
"All I can ask. Well, er, I'll be at the neighbor lady's house with the girls if you need me.” With that he left Reese standing there.
Reese watched them until Mrs. Carson welcomed them inside. All he could think of was that Ashley had lied to him. Or at least had not volunteered the whole truth. Damn her, she hadn't trusted him with the truth. That was what hurt the most.
He turned back to see her frozen behind him, her arms stiff at her sides. His eyes sought hers.
He stormed toward her and took her arms. Then slowly forced himself to let go.
"I have some thinking to do,” he said, his voice came out more dark and challenging than he'd intended.
Staring at her, he dared her to say something that would change things now that he knew Mandy was his daughter. That his only living child did not have her father's surname. Pain ripped through him at that thought.
"God,” he said. He'd known Ashley had a core of strength, but not the kind of ruthless streak necessary to take his child from him without his knowledge and never notify him of the fact. He took her by the elbow. She was cold to the touch, and stiff. In spite of his deep anger, he caressed her skin.
He looked into her eyes. She looked shaky. He softened toward her, but caught himself. Damn hard to fix this.
Ashley sucked in a breath at Reese's dark look. She'd never before seen such an expression on his face. It reminded her of the black, rotating clouds of a tornado.
No doubt he was angry, so very angry at the revelation that Mandy was his child. She feared there was even some hatred mingling with the clouds of anger. She sighed, wanting to offer an apology, to say, ‘I'm sorry'.
The words wouldn't come. They wouldn't because it would be a lie, another lie. She saw very little she could have done differently.
He was the one who had so arrogantly decided they would have no children. And they wouldn't have had without the accident of their birth control failing.
"Reese, listen to me.” She didn't ask, she drew herself up as tall as possible and demanded that he listen. Where the strength of purpose came from she wasn't unsure.
He dropped her arm and strode off toward the truck.
"We need to talk."
"Later."
She stiffened her backbone and allowed him to go even though her inner being was crying out for her to go after him, to beg his forgiveness. She tried to understand what he was going through, even through her own anger which was growing like a wildfire.
How could he just walk away? She stuck her hands on her hip. He was more a coward than she. She watched as he stormed off in the truck.
* * * *
"I take it that Reese didn't know the child was his?” Reese's father stated in a tone much like Reese would use under similar circumstances. She had no idea how long she'd stood on the deck crying silently.
"No,” she whispered.
"How could he not see it?” His father spoke as though to himself.
She shrugged. “He only met Mandy a short time ago."
"The river of Denial, that's how. He didn't want to see that she was his."
"He told me we wouldn't have children. Back when we were engaged before."
Reese's mother spoke now, “And he took it for granted you'd not make such an earth shattering decision without asking his permission first. Stubborn young mule."
"Yes,” Ashley agreed, managing a weak and pitiful smile of surprise that Reese's mother was sympathetic to her situation. Fresh tears flooded her eyes and clogged her throat..
"Don't worry, he'll figure it out and get back here where he belongs. Be patient with him, dear. Lord knows I've had to be patient with Wade."
"Now wait just a darn minute...” Wade began.
"And look what you did with your big mouth. They would've worked it out with less shock and trauma if you'd guarded your words, Wade, my love."
"Hell, I didn't know he didn't have a clue. How could I know, Steph?” he asked.
"No. It's my fault,” Ashley offered. “You couldn't know. I put off telling him far too long. I didn't know...."
"Understandable. Men!” Stephanie gave the word the emphasis of a curse word. “Ashley, you were afraid he wouldn't stand by you. Women have shouldered that uncertainty for centuries. Or, worse, take your baby away, for heaven's sake.” She looked thoughtful. “Josie predicted all this."
"Yeah, I know,” Wade agreed. “The little girl she talked of. Right, Josie always knows these life-changing things. Damn scary. That alone should have been a big clue to Reese."
"The Peacewatcher blood.” Stephanie closed her arm around Ashley as if there was nothing unusual about having supernatural bloodlines. “Did my son tell you we come from alien stock, my dear?"
"Not in so many words. He mentioned Josie's gift for seeing five years ago."
"Well it's true they say. Now then, let's get settled and get you something to eat."
Ashley smiled through her tears. The words were spoken like a mom who solved all problems with good food.
[Back to Table of Contents]
Chapter Twenty One
Waiting for Reese to return, Ashley looked out the window into the night. In the light of the street lamps, she could see a light rain had fallen and dampened the street.
Mandy, and her cadre of adoring new family members, slept down the hall in the guest bedroom and family room.
Ashley had answered all of Wade and Stephanie Caldwell's questions about Mandy, understanding their need to know. Patiently, she'd shown them every photo she'd ever taken of her little girl. Managing to force a calm she hadn't felt, drawing upon reserves of courage inherited from the ancestors who had come from the east and the southeast to settle Ohio in the early days, she'd told them everything that came to mind, all the things they'd missed out on.
Perhaps someday Reese would let her tell him the same stories, show him the photos.
Watching him walk out her door had never been easy, but now he'd walked out angry twice in past few weeks. The first day and now. She wondered if he'd return to her this time.
Sometime in the middle of showing his parents the album that held Mandy's birthday photos, she'd determined to go find him and make him come back to her and to his daughter.
Ashley knew where he had gone. How she knew she wasn't sure. She felt it with certainty.
The stubborn male had had several long hours of thinking time. Enough. It was time she followed him.
Despite trusting her own intuition, half an hour later, Ashley sighed in relief to find the new SUV parked in the driveway of the old river stone farmhouse. By the moonlight, she could see its keys lay on the front seat—locked inside.
Odd, she thought, Reese was not the type to lock his keys in a vehicle. Even odder, there was not even much reason to lock a vehicle out here.
As she approached the house, Ashley paused to summon her courage. She was beginning to like this old house. From the classic architecture of its façade, the careful detail of the hand-crafted door to the gable fanlights and cheerful white trim, the house radiated charm and character. Maybe the old house would bring her luck tonight.
&nbs
p; As she stepped up to the porch, the creaking protest of the old boards, a foreign intrusion in the night air. She noticed a responding silence from the nightlife. As she expected, the door was unlocked, the interior of the house dark as a cave.
She found him in the upstairs bedroom. The room where they'd made love. In the light of the full moon coming through the large windows, she could see he sat on the floor leaning back against the fireplace with a whiskey bottle in his hand.
Her heart jumped to a faster beat. She'd never seen him drink before.
He looked up at her from under his brows, his eyes angry, their focus somewhat woozy. “Ash, that you?"
"Yes,” she whispered. “Is that your second bottle?"
"Nope,” he laughed harshly, “Second drink."
He wagged the half-full bottle up for her to see. She took in his condition and couldn't keep the skepticism from her expression.
"One, real long drink. Can't hold my damned liquor. Never could."
With obvious effort, he tried to read the label, lifting the bottle too close to his eyes.
"Does it to me every time.” He flashed a silly grin. “Instant pain killer, by damn."
Ashley winced at the words.
His eyes sought hers and his smile turned sad.
"Clay says I'll never be an alcoholic,” he continued. “He read some study on the subject. Says a good drunk can put down a lot of this stuff.” He swung the bottle back and forth. “And still stay on his feet. Not me. No sirree. Two guzzles and I'm a goner. Want some?” He offered, kindly.
"No ... ah, thank you,” she answered. She went forward and sat down beside him.
"Didn't offer you a seat, woman."
Ashley knew it was silly, but she was hurt by the spiteful words. She scooted a bit away from him, hugging her knees to her chest.
He sipped a bit more from the bottle.
"What do you want anyway? Why'd you come here?"
"To talk."
"Too late for that, babe."
She closed her eyes. “No. I don't think so, Reese. I hope not."
"Too damned late, Ash. You lied to me,” he accused.
"I did not...."
He held up a hand. “Maybe not with words, but, still the same thing."
"I understand. You feel cheated,” she admitted. “But what was I supposed to do? A strong relationship is a partnership, not an autocratic dictatorship like we had back then."
He narrowed his eyes. “And you'd do it again in a damned minute."
She sighed and looked to the fireplace. After a moment of silence, she admitted, “Yes, I think I would."
"Ashley, a couple usually talks before they bring children into the world. They talk and plan."
"Yes, normally,” she agreed.
He fell silent a moment.
"What about the things I've missed out on? Moments in Mandy's life you cheated me of?"
"I didn't think you liked children. I didn't think you cared. I read the dread of children in your expression that night."
"What about the two years of Mandy's life?” he asked. “I want them back."
"Three. She's a little over three."
"'Course. S'right. We parted four years, twenty-nine days ago."
She smiled that he knew the exact length of time.
"That's part of what threw me. She's so thin and tiny for her age."
"True. My family tends to grow in late spurts."
"What about choosing a name for her? What about that, Ashley?"
"I called you after her birth,” she justified in a small voice.
He stared.
"You told me she was your niece, didn't you? Hellfire.” He dragged a hand through his hair. I didn't listen, did I?"
"I had to do something. I wanted so much to talk to you. I hadn't planned it that way. I meant to tell you the whole story, the truth, that day. Then you said we had everything we needed."
He seemed to sober at that. “I remember."
"You were so wrongheaded. I wanted so badly for you to see her."
Then he swore. Terrible words that Ashley rarely heard. And never from him.
"I remember the joy in your voice,” he whispered hoarsely. “I thought you were trying to get me to change my mind about having children of our own."
"I know. You reiterated your position on the matter. You said we didn't need children."
"I was an idiot. Scared. I missed Gabe like hell."
"Who?"
"Damn it. Never ... never mind.” After a thoughtful pause, he continued, “How would you feel if you were me right now, Ashley?"
"Angry.” Very angry, she thought.
"And back a few weeks ago, you let me think she might be a test-tube baby.” He continued without waiting for an answer, “Would you have gone on with the deception forever?"
"Yes. I think maybe I would have,” she answered with stark honesty. “You accepted her that way. Seemed even to love her."
"I did. I do love her.” He laughed. The dark and stark sound echoed in the room. “I suppose I expected you to say, no."
She stayed silent.
"Damn you,” he said, resting his face in his hands. “You shouldn't have come here tonight. I'm angry with you, Ash."
Some of the darkness of his parting words earlier in the day returned to his voice through the mist of the alcohol.
"Reese, please listen to me. I know you're angry.” Ashley sensed the talking was nearly over. He was an unapproachable stranger right now.
"You had no right to go against my wishes."
"Maybe not."
"Definitely not.” His eyes sought hers. “I trusted you,” he continued, “I thought you were different. Special. So special.” He spoke in low tones as though he were sorting through his thoughts.
Hot tears broke through her control and slid down Ashley's cheeks.
The way he put their trust in the past tense added to her pain.
"Reese, listen to me. I was already pregnant that night. When you told me we'd have no babies...."
"You could have just told me anyway."
"Yes, I should have. I wish I had. But I thought you didn't want the baby. What kind of dad is a man who doesn't want to be one?"
"I wanted to be her dad."
Shaking her head, she said, “That makes no sense to me."
"I was Gabe's dad. But I couldn't save him."
Ashley gasped. “You had a child?"
"Gone, lost in a car accident. Dangerous intersection. So damn fast and he and his mom were gone."
"I'm so sorry. You never told me that."
"Couldn't talk about it, Ash. Not even now, if I weren't drunker'n hell.” Reese lifted his long, masculine fingers to the tears on her cheek, gently wiping them away. “I kinda want you to hurt like I do, but I don't want to see you cry. Weird, isn't it?” He gave her a lopsided smile.
She smiled back and leaned into his hand.
"Gabe told me you were in trouble the other day.” His gaze looked far away.
Her heart sped. She wondered what on earth he meant. “He did?"
"Yep. Josie says we're aliens, you know. They came for him. That's why there was no body for him. He's a Worldwalker. Can come and go through some kind of time highways."
"I see,” she humored him, grinning sadly. She understood that Josie really believed the things she said, but as a scientist, Ashley was skeptical.
"Go away now, Ashley. Go away. Need to sleep this off."
His words cut through her like the sharp edge of a knife's blade.
She rose to leave.
But he snagged her wrist with his hand out and held her still in spite of his words.
She returned to his side.
For a long time, they leaned against each other and neither spoke. Soon, Reese's regular breathing told her that he slept.
Ashley ran her fingers through his coarse, dark hair. “I'm sorry, my darling,” she whispered. “I'm so sorry. I love you so."
[Back to Table of Con
tents]
Chapter Twenty Two
"Damn it to hell, Ashley we will get married."
"Not this way. We need to resolve our...” she began.
"Any damned way necessary.” Reese interrupted rudely, frowning when the words hurt his aching head.
Ashley noticed that the morning light filtering through the kitchen window of the old farmhouse wasn't treating him well either.
He might well get drunk on less booze, but he felt the full experience the morning after. Ashley smiled a sympathetic smile and started rummaging through the meager supplies they kept at the house to find some over the counter pain meds.
"I damn well want Mandy to have my surname."
She wasn't surprised that was his priority now. He'd forgotten about the two of them, their relationship. She wanted to shout at him, tell him this should be a time for the two of them. But she realized her decision four years ago had taken them out of the normal path of a loving relationship.
If she'd told him of her pregnancy back then, she knew him well enough now to know that he would've stood by her. But heaven help her, she had not known him that well then.
"Will you marry me, Ash? As if he sensed her need, he spoke, softer than before. “Can we pretend for a few days this is a normal ordinary wedding? Not a damned shotgun affair, four years too late.” The words were part pain, part pleading but mostly angry, arrogant demand.
Ashley couldn't speak. She tried. She wanted marriage to Reese. Had always wanted that. For good or bad, the issue of a child was out in the open. No more secrets.
Reese held his breath. Why didn't she answer him? The proposal wasn't as fancy as the others he'd offered her in the past. No flowers and wine. No fancy French food. But, by God, this time he meant to have the right answer.
He frowned deeply as his own thoughts seemed to catalyze a new level of pain in his head. Last time he'd ever drink over her, too. Last damned time. He supported his skull with his hands.
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