by Cindi Madsen
His eyes met hers and his posture relaxed. “Fine. If you need me, I’ll be over on the other side of the bonfire.”
The crowd parted as Spencer walked away. Gradually, everyone stopped staring and started talking again. Jarvis and Austin came to talk to Clay; Keira and Samuel joined the group a few minutes later. Everything went back to the way it was before—well, close to how it had been before. Instead of just thinking about Spencer, she couldn’t stop looking over at him. He kept on the outskirts, not saying much to anyone.
Then Natasha walked up to him, and she fought the urge to go over there and tell the obnoxious girl to stay away.
The more the guys drank, the more adventurous they got. They started challenging each other to do stupid things. Only they thought they were hilarious.
Of all the “firsts” I’ve checked off, this one has been the least fun.
Every so often Clay would turn and shoot her a smile, and it was nice; it just wasn’t what she wanted.
Liv pulled out her phone and looked at the time. “I better get going. I don’t want to be late for curfew.”
Clay slid his arm off her shoulders and took her hand. “Okay, let’s get you home.”
He couldn’t even walk in a straight line, and she realized they had a problem. “Aren’t you too drunk to drive?”
“I’m fine.”
The image of a rain-soaked windshield and hazy headlights coming at her flickered in her mind. The feeling of being completely out of control engulfed her. The screech of metal against metal echoed through her ears. No, no, no. Do not get in the car with him.
She yanked her hand from his and took a step back. Hysterical emotions she didn’t fully understand overwhelmed her. “You’re too drunk. I’m not getting in the car if you’re driving.”
“Fine. I’ll let you drive.” He dug his keys out of his pocket and extended them to her.
“I don’t know how.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll help you.” He swayed and then steadied himself on her.
Liv heard footsteps and turned around to see Spencer coming. “What’s going on?” he asked.
“I need to go home, but Clay’s too drunk to drive.”
“I’ll take you,” Spencer said.
Clay tightened his arm around her waist. “No way. I’m taking her home.”
“You don’t want to get hurt, do you?” Spencer’s jaw was set, fists clenched by his sides.
Is he threatening Clay?
“And you don’t want Liv to get hurt, either. Right? That’s why I’m going to drive her home.” Spencer held out his hand. “Come on, Liv.”
She almost took his hand—she really wanted to—but her conscience wouldn’t let her leave Clay like this. “What if he tries to drive himself home and something happens?”
Spencer glanced from her to Clay and made a sort of half-sigh, half-groan noise. “Give me your keys, Armstrong.”
Clay glowered at him for a moment, then handed him the keys. “Fine.” He pulled her toward his car and opened the back door. “You can watch us cuddle in the backseat.”
Liv stepped out of Clay’s grasp. “I’m going to sit up front with Spencer. I’m not sure I want this night to end with me being puked on.”
Clay fell into the seat, a hurt look on his face.
Spencer shoved the door closed and shot her a sidelong glance. “Funny, I’d think you’d be extremely sure about not wanting to be puked on.”
“Very funny.”
He held the passenger door open for her, waited for her to get in, and then walked around the front of Clay’s car.
“What about your car?” she asked as he slid into the driver’s seat.
Spencer shrugged, apparently not all that concerned. “I’ll come back for it later.”
Liv wanted to hug him—of course, she always wanted to hug him, but tonight, even more than usual. With him behind the wheel, she felt safe again.
“Hey, Hale,” Clay said from the backseat as they pulled onto the road, “remember that night we got wasted and woke up with cactus needles all over? There were those two hot chicks there, too. That was a really good party.”
Spencer looked over at her, then back at the road. His voice was quiet when he spoke. “Yeah. The reason I know he’s a jerk is because I used to be just like him. Bet you’re rethinking my friendship now.”
“You’re not a jerk,” she said.
“What did you think about me when we first met?”
“Well, your words said mean, but your actions said nice. So yes, I thought you were rude at first. But then I got to know you, and I don’t buy the jerk thing.”
“That’s because you don’t know the whole story.”
“So tell me.” Liv kept her eyes trained on him. “Just tell me already.”
His gaze remained on the road and his mouth set in a straight line.
With every second that passed, it became clearer and clearer that he wasn’t going to answer. “You know what? It doesn’t matter to me. Because I know who you are now. You’re the guy who made sure I was safe tonight, even though I didn’t ask you to. That’s what matters to me.” She reached over and squeezed his hand.
He moved his hand from under hers and she thought he was pulling away, like he always did. Instead, he twisted it so their palms were together, and he laced his fingers with hers.
Heat ran up her arm; her heart raced. Worried the slightest movement or wrong word would cause him to pull away, she held her breath and stayed perfectly still.
Spencer’s solemn expression relaxed. Calm replaced the storm.
When Clay groaned, Liv jumped. She’d forgotten he was even in the car with her and Spencer. “Dude, I’m so going to ralph if you don’t stop taking those turns so fast.”
Great. Now Spencer’s going to pull away.
She braced for it, telling herself not to let it hurt her feelings. But Spencer gave her half a smile and squeezed her hand.
Clay’s complaints grew louder as they got closer to her house.
“You’re going to take care of him, right?” She asked when Spencer turned into her neighborhood.
Spencer let out a long breath. “I’ll even let him sober up before dropping him at his house. It’ll be just like old times. The old times I was really hoping to stay away from.”
Liv wanted to believe things between Spencer and her would be different now. And she really wanted to lean over and kiss his cheek. But she couldn’t get up the courage to do it.
You’re a strong, independent woman. You don’t have to wait around for a guy to make the first move.
But if he snubs you, that’ll be twice, you’ll look desperate, and—hello—the guy you started the night with is still in the backseat.
She glanced over her shoulder at Clay. His eyelids flickered; his face was pale. He rolled forward and threw a hand over his mouth.
Whipping her head away, she was just fast enough not to see it. But she heard it. As Spencer pulled up to her house, she tried to tune out the sounds of Clay redecorating the floor of the backseat with the remnants of his dinner.
Spencer flicked the buttons on the door, rolling down all the windows. “Well, guess you can check going to your first party off the list. Was it all you hoped it would be?”
Liv looked at their hands, still linked, then up to his face. She shot him a smile. “And then some.”
28
All weekend, Liv had been anticipating the moment she’d see Spencer again. His car wasn’t in the parking lot when she arrived at school Monday morning, so she headed to her locker.
A hand brushed her back, and excitement flooded her.
“Hey, I’ve been…” When she spun around, she discovered it wasn’t Spencer, but Clay. “Oh. Hi.”
“I’m so sorry about Friday night. I was trying to impress you and…” Clay shook his head. “I made an ass of myself.”
“I was a lot more impressed with the beginning of the night.”
“I hope that…” He took
a deep breath and then slowly let it out. “I guess I’m hoping you’ll forgive me. That you’ll give me a second chance.”
She didn’t care enough about him to hold a grudge. “I forgive you. Everyone makes mistakes.” Some just smell worse than others.
“You’re the best.” Clay surprised her with a hug. “Come on. I’ll walk you to class.” He took her books and piled them on his. “See, I’m working at being a gentleman.”
Liv looked around, hoping to spot Spencer. She wanted to talk to him, to try to figure out where they stood. But there wasn’t enough time now anyway. The bell was going to ring in a few minutes.
Ignoring Clay’s extended hand, she stepped down the hall. “Let’s get to class, then.”
…
It was a relief when lunch was over. All day she’d been waiting to see Spencer, but he hadn’t been in the cafeteria, and she’d ended up reluctantly sitting by Clay when he offered.
Maybe he’s not here today, she thought as she headed to class.
But when she got there, Spencer sat at his usual desk in Mr. Barker’s classroom, earphones in. He didn’t look up when she came into the room. She took the seat behind him and waited for him to turn around.
There’s no way he didn’t see me.
What did you think he’d do? Proclaim his love for you in the middle of the classroom?
Of course he wouldn’t, but she thought she’d be able to see a change if there was one. A stolen glance. An unspoken understanding.
Gag. That’s something out of a cheesy chick flick. Guys are never like that in real life.
Unless they actually like you.
Liv stared at the back of his head, getting more frustrated by the second. Love proclamation or not, it’s supposed to be different today. We’ve come too far to go back to this ignoring crap.
Sick of waiting for him to say something, she leaned forward and tugged his earphones out.
Spencer turned around and gave her the nod. “What’s going on?”
That’s what I want to know. “I looked for you at lunch.”
“I ate outside.”
She searched for something—anything—that would give her a clue as to what was going on in that head of his.
I’ve been waiting to see him all weekend, and this is it?
He’s so frustrating. I don’t even know why I like him.
She thought about the list. About how he’d showed up on Friday night. About holding hands with him. About the way she felt around him.
That’s why.
When it was obvious he wasn’t going to say anything else, she decided to take another stab at conversation. “Are we still getting together at your house after school? You know, to work on our assignment?”
“I guess we need to start sometime.”
Well, don’t act excited about it or anything. I’d hate to think you actually like spending time with me, you confusing, irritating boy.
He tapped his pencil on her desk, but it was like he was purposely avoiding looking at her. “So what’s up?”
Nothing, apparently.
She sighed. “Just trying to figure out an impossible equation.”
…
Liv’s attention drifted from the open math book on her lap to Spencer. He’d hardly said a thing on the drive to his house, turning up the music so loud that she hadn’t even attempted conversation. Then they’d come into his bedroom, he’d pulled out his math book, and they’d started on their math assignment.
Looking at him didn’t provide any of the answers she wanted, but she couldn’t stop trying to find them anyway. Spencer had gone to a party and been around people he couldn’t stand. He’d swooped in when she needed him. She thought she’d finally broken through to him. Then today, the mask was up again.
“I don’t get it,” she said.
Spencer pointed his pencil at her paper. “Well if you apply the formula here—”
“Not the math. You. The party. I’m glad you showed up and were there when I needed you…” She looked into his face, praying to see a hint of the guy who’d held her hand. “But why? Why’d you do that for me?”
Spencer shrugged. “You’re my best friend. Hell, you’re my only friend.” His eyebrows drew together and his voice came out strained. “When you asked me to make sure Clay got home okay, I thought you were just being nice. I didn’t realize…” He shook his head. “Never mind.” He stood, walked over to his dresser, and started messing with his iPod.
“Realize what?” Liv asked.
The music filling the room changed to Angels & Air-waves’s “Breathe.”
“Spencer, you’re driving me crazy.” She scooted to the edge of the bed. “Stop ignoring me and say whatever you were going to say.”
He turned away from his dresser. “I saw you with Clay this morning. I’m a little surprised that after Friday night you still want anything to do with him.”
“He was just apologizing.”
“By putting his hands all over you?” Spencer crossed the room in a couple large strides. “That’s the other reason I showed up on Friday. I was jealous.”
“Jealous?” She swallowed, her words getting thicker as her heart beat faster.
“Like because you wanted to hang out, or jealous like…”
Leaning forward, Spencer put his hands on either side of her. “Like I wanted to tear his arms off when he had them around you.”
Liv tilted her head up. Mere inches separated their lips. Her breath caught as he moved closer.
His lips brushed hers.
“Liv, your mom is—” Lori stood in the open doorway, eyes wide.
“Busted,” Spencer whispered under his breath, straightening up.
“Liv, your mom is here to pick you up.” Lori folded her arms and shot Spencer a stern look. “I think it’s best if you two stick to the living room from now on.”
Heat crept into her cheeks as she gathered her books and shoved them into her backpack. It was embarrassing, but it was also incredibly disappointing. Couldn’t Lori have waited just a few more minutes?
Liv slung her backpack over one shoulder and glanced at Spencer. “See you tomorrow.”
He reached out and squeezed her hand. “Definitely.”
As Liv walked out of the room, Lori pulled her into a tight hug. Only seconds ago, Lori had seemed mad; now, she was hugging her so tightly she was starting to wonder if she’d ever let go.
Parents were so weird sometimes.
Liv said good-bye to Katie on the way out and then climbed into Mom’s car.
“Did you get done everything you needed to?” Mom asked.
Math-wise, sure. Kissing-wise, definitely not. “I guess it’s a good start.”
“Well, I finished running errands early and figured I’d save Spencer a trip. We learned the best recipe today. It’s really simple, too. You use…”
Mom went on and on about her new recipe, and Liv tried to listen. But her thoughts drifted to Spencer. How he’d said he was jealous, and how soft his lips had felt when they touched hers.
29
Liv slid into class as the bell rang. Last night she could hardly sleep, anticipating seeing Spencer again. Unfortunately, Dad had to go to work early, and Mom was running behind schedule, making her almost late for school, so she had to wait longer.
Each class ticked by at a snail’s pace, and when lunch finally came, she was so antsy she could hardly stand it. Keira tried to talk to her as they walked to the cafeteria, but she couldn’t focus on anything but the fact that she was about to see Spencer for the first time since their almost-kiss.
She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw him in his usual spot.
Then Natasha and her friends sat down next to him.
Why won’t that girl leave him alone already?
Since Natasha had sat across from Spencer, in what should be her spot, Liv walked over to the table and sat right next to him.
Natasha frowned, a crease forming between her eyebrows. With a huff,
she turned to Spencer. “So as I was saying before we were interrupted, if we go with the Tea Party thing—”
“Tea party?” Liv nudged Spencer. “You’re having a tea party and you forgot to tell me?”
Spencer put his hand on her knee and grinned at her. “I’m not going to invite you if you mock it.”
“We’re talking about the Boston Tea Party,” Natasha said, her tone exasperated.
“Then I’m out,” Liv said. “Calling something a party doesn’t automatically make it fun. I learned that the hard way.”
Spencer squeezed her knee and butterflies shot through her stomach. “I don’t know. I’m starting to think something good came from the last one I went to.”
Natasha was speechless after that. Or maybe she kept talking, but Liv simply didn’t notice.
On their way out of the cafeteria, Spencer grabbed Liv’s hand, intertwining his fingers with hers.
“Exactly how many girls are hung up on you?” she asked as they started down the hall.
He shot her a sidelong glance. “No girls are hung up on me.”
“I can name three right now.”
He twisted to face her and slid his arms around her waist. “I only care about one of them.”
“Who said I was one of them?”
A wicked grin parted his lips. “Who said I was talking about you?”
She smacked him on the arm and he hugged her tighter.
Someone cleared her throat. Out of the corner of her eye, Liv saw Mrs. Tully. “You two don’t want to be late for class.”
I swear. The universe is totally against us.
…
Waiting for Spencer to come out of those red double doors had never been so hard. She hadn’t even bothered with digging her book from her bag. She sat on the bench, drumming her fingers, growing more impatient by the minute.
What seemed like an eternity later, he finally stepped out of the school. By the time he got to the bench, she was already standing. Then she felt stupid. And nervous.
I don’t know what I’m doing. What if our heads bump together, or what if I suck at kissing, or what if he’s changed his mind and—
