Club Wonderland

by Christine d'Abo

  Please, Sir.

  “But there’s no way he didn’t know I was PC.”

  This isn’t about romance. This is fucking.

  “I need to confront him. He thinks I’m some sort of pushover because we’ve had mind-blowing sex. Well, he’s going to get a shock. I’m going to let him know that I know who he is now and that there’s no way we’re ever going to get together. This is one bridge he won’t be crossing ever again.”

  Swallow me. That’s it. Be a good girl.

  “Alice?” Petra pressed her hand to Alice’s forehead. “Are you feeling okay? You’re all flushed.”

  “Yeah.” She needed to gain some distance between them. Walking over to the air-conditioning vent, Alice tried once more to refocus on the matter at hand. “Like I said, I’m more than a little tired.”

  “I’m the shittiest friend in the world.”

  “No you’re not.”

  Petra cut her off with the wave of a hand. “I totally am. I’m here bitching about a guy who means less to me than free dildos and you’re sitting here exhausted listening to me. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s good, hon.” It was Alice being the selfish one. Petra would kick her ass if she had any idea what was going on with her. They normally told each other everything, and yet this was the sort of thing Petra wouldn’t quite get.

  Although her friend ran a sex advice column, Petra’s experience in the world of BDSM was as absent as her own. With Petra focused on Darcy, there was little reason for Alice to bring things up.

  She’d muddle through on her own.

  Pressing her back to the wall, Alice gave Petra a good once-over. “You know, I think you’re right.”

  “About what?”

  “Confronting him. When do all of the nominees get together again?”

  That brief suggestion was all Petra needed. The spark that normally flared whenever she was posting on the Mantastic blog instantly appeared. “Tonight at the media event for our category. We’re supposed to give a brief description of our site after they’ve plied us with wine.”

  “There you go. You can take him aside and ask him if he knew who you were before your fling. I’m sure you’ll catch him off guard, and you might even get the truth out of him.”

  Petra laughed, ran over, and gave Alice a hug. “That’s perfect. I’ll know exactly where he is so he won’t be able to get away from me. You’re brilliant.”

  Alice watched as Petra flew around her condo, getting ready for the event and strategizing about what she’d say and how she’d respond to him. It was hard to keep up with the ever-changing emotional tides. Despite Petra’s plans, Alice couldn’t break away from the thought of her own upcoming confrontation. Tomorrow morning she’d have to get dressed and go to work. She’d walk down the hall, smile and wave at her coworkers as she passed by, and take her spot outside of Gael’s office.

  How was she supposed to act?

  She had no doubt he’d be as cool and reserved as normal. Having kinky sex with someone in the office might not be a normal occurrence for him, but he was an expert at keeping his poker face in place. Which meant if there was any hope of them discussing what had transpired between them, it would come down to her.

  Did she really want to go there?

  Could she afford not to?

  Petra came out from her bedroom wearing a far more sexy skirt and top than Alice would have assumed she’d put on without a fair amount of prodding. “How does this look?”

  “It’s perfect. You look like PC, while still having a good amount of Petra showing.”

  Her friend beamed. “D. Williams isn’t going to know what hit him.”

  At least one of them was brave enough to confront her demons. “Go get him, girl.”

  * * *

  Alice spent the rest of her day walking around in a fog. Everywhere she turned she saw things that reminded her of her time with Gael and Wonderland. The grocery store had nearly killed her with its sale on wooden spoons, Twizzlers and hot cross buns. A trip to the bookstore wasn’t any better, with their huge displays for the latest big book in erotic romance.

  Finally she gave up trying, got a bottle of wine from the liquor store and holed up at her house. Maybe this was for the best. She could stay hidden in her house for days before anyone would bother coming to look for her. Petra was distracted with Darcy, her mother wouldn’t get suspicious if she didn’t call her for a week, and work...

  Well, that’s what sick days were for.

  The heat in her house was still too much for her poor air conditioner to handle, leaving a humid stickiness behind. Channeling her inner Petra, Alice stripped out of her skirt and blouse, and put on a camisole and shorts. The moment the clothing slipped from her body, Alice could feel the phantom sensation of fingers sliding across her skin, covering her throat, and cupping her shoulders.

  To make matters worse, she caught a glimpse of herself in her full-length mirror as she started to leave her bedroom. Faint marks still adorned her bare shoulders, disappearing beneath the thin fabric. She shouldn’t look, but the compulsion was too much. A step closer allowed her to see the marks better. Lifting the hem of her camisole revealed nothing else on her skin. Not that she needed to see the physical proof to know that the marks existed.

  Gael had put them there.

  She’d never considered before then the appeal of being branded by another person. How it was possible to bear the mark of a man beneath her skin, past the muscles and into the very core of her person. Somehow without realizing what he was doing, Gael had laid claim to a dormant part of her personality, awakened an animal within her she didn’t even know was there.

  And the bastard didn’t want her.

  Letting the fabric fall back into place, Alice turned her back on the mirror and marched into the living room. She snatched the portable phone as she passed it and hit the speed dial button for her boss.

  “Hi, Carmela—it’s Alice. I wanted to let you know that I probably won’t be at work tomorrow. I woke up this morning with a headache, and I don’t think it’s going away anytime soon.” For once in her life, she didn’t feel bad about taking the mental health day. “Yeah, damn summer flu. I’ll let you know how I’m feeling tomorrow. Thanks.”

  After pressing the End button and tossing the phone to the couch, Alice grabbed the wine and a large glass before quickly eyeing the time.

  “Four o’clock. Bottoms up.”

  Sure, drinking was never the answer to any problem, but there were certain occasions when a glass was the prescription required to fix the symptoms, if not the ailment. A confused and battered heart certainly qualified. Tomorrow she’d stay in bed, watch TV, and get her shit together. Tuesday she’d face Gael. And if Tuesday turned into Wednesday...well, that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.

  Chapter Ten

  Gael sat at his desk, case file open on his computer, completely ignoring it. Instead he’d spent the better part of the past fifteen minutes staring at the empty desk where one Alice White should have been sitting. He’d expected her to call in sick on Monday. After the way she’d left the club Saturday night, he had no doubt she was hurting and confused. It hadn’t been the first time he’d seen that look on a new sub’s face, though he’d never been the one to put it there before. So he was willing to give her Monday to steel her nerves before she had to face him.

  But today was Tuesday and Alice still wasn’t here.

  He’d been furious after she’d left the club. Red had laughed her fool ass off at him, teasing him about his inability to get and keep a sub, even one who was clearly taken with him. Not that she understood the predicament he was in. Alice was an employee at the firm where he worked. If Uncle Stephen even suspected there might be something going on between them, Gael was screwed. Not that Gael regretted a single second of his time with Alice. If he was going to fail, at least he had the pleasure of feeling his hands against her naked breasts, to see the look of understanding cross her face.

  Uncle Stephen wou
ld lose his mind if he caught wind of what Gael had done with Alice. It wouldn’t matter that Alice had followed him into the club and had all but begged him to tie her up and fuck her senseless.

  Not that there’d been any actual fucking. Even if that’s what he’d wanted more than anything.

  “Mr. Hernandez?” Gael looked up to see Carmela standing in his doorway. “Sorry to bug you, but I wanted to let you know that Alice won’t be in again today.”

  That little coward.

  “She sounded pretty terrible on the phone.” Carmela frowned as she leaned against the doorjamb. “I might stop by after work to check and see how she’s doing. I hate the idea of her being all alone when she’s sick.”

  Dammit, he should have known things were going to go this way. Alice wasn’t into the scene, and he shouldn’t have expected her to handle alone the emotional weight of her experience at the club. He’d failed her by letting her run away without taking the opportunity to talk to her, ensure she was going to be able to handle things. Clearly, he was as selfish as his uncle accused him of being.

  “Did she say what was wrong?” Gael pressed his palms flat against his desk. It was the only thing that kept him from balling them into fists. “Maybe she needs to see a doctor.”

  “I suggested that, but she said it was mostly a migraine. She’s had them in the past.”

  It was possible she truly had a headache. Alice could be locked away in her bedroom, the blinds drawn and a cool cloth across her eyes. Gael hated that he immediately thought the worst of her, assumed she was faking simply to avoid talking with him.

  Shoving himself away from his desk, Gael locked his computer and grabbed his keys. “I have a few errands to do. I can stop by her house and check on her.”

  “Oh really?” Carmela straightened, smiling brightly. “That would be awfully sweet of you. It would be easier than me trying to get over that way.”

  Gael made sure to glare at her as he passed. “She’s one of the best assistants we have here. I want to make sure she’s okay.”

  “Of course.” He ignored the smirk she gave him. “Let me write her address down for you. Unless you already have it?”

  “The address, please.”

  The drive through Toronto traffic only served to piss Gael off even more than he was already. The Gardner Expressway was backed up, which meant he was forced to take the longest route through the city. Hitting every single red light along the way ratcheted his frustration up. By the time he turned the corner onto the street that the GPS announced as Alice’s, Gael was ready to hit something.

  “Your destination is in five hundred meters.”

  He didn’t need the monotone proclamation telling him of his arrival. There, walking down the street, was Alice. She was headed toward her home, a coffee cup in her hand. So it wasn’t a migraine.

  Alice White was a coward.

  Gael pulled his Lexus up alongside her and rolled the passenger window down. Alice flicked her gaze over her shoulder at his car without slowing her pace. Either she didn’t see him, or she was too keyed up by having a stranger in a vehicle following her to get too close.

  A coward, but at least smart.

  Gael leaned on his horn, which had her jump and turn her attention to him. The second she realized it was him everything in her demeanor changed. One moment she was poised ready to bolt for her home. The next she stumbled over a crack in the sidewalk, her gaze never once leaving his through the entire process.

  The look of panic and the way she held her coffee cup in what appeared to be a death grip, told Gael everything he needed to know about her absence from the office—she was avoiding him.

  “Coward.”

  Alice straightened. “What are you doing here?”

  Unwilling to have this conversation in the car, he pulled up and into her driveway. When he got out, Alice was still standing in the middle of the sidewalk several houses away. He leaned against the side of his car, resting his forearms against the hot metal and continued to stare at her. The day was growing unbearably hot, and it was only a matter of time before she’d be forced to make a choice—go back the way she’d come, or come home and face him.

  For the first time in months, he couldn’t tell which option she’d choose.

  Alice turned and looked behind her before squaring her shoulders and continuing her walk home. There was far less bounce to her steps than when he’d first spotted her. Her shoulders were now slumped forward, giving her the look of a child who was about to get grounded. She must have found some of her nerve when she reached the bottom of her driveway, because in the next moment she’d straightened up, and the look in her eyes was anything but warm and fuzzy.

  “I said, what are you doing here? How do you even know where I lived?”

  “Carmela gave me your address. Your friends are worried about you. Needlessly.”

  Alice had the grace to look ashamed. “I was planning on coming back tomorrow.”

  A dog barked somewhere in the background, chased by the sound of traffic and car horns. This wasn’t the place for the conversation they needed to have. “Let’s take this inside.”

  “No.” Alice crossed her arms and stuck out her chin. “I would appreciate you leaving.”

  “Not happening.” Did she actually think he was going to do what she wanted after her little hiding act? “You’ve been avoiding me. It needs to stop.”

  “Of course it does. It’s not like I’m looking for another job.” But she couldn’t quite hold his gaze as she spoke.

  “Inside. Not up for discussion.”

  He had no right to be pushing her around like this. She wasn’t his direct subordinate, nor were they engaged in any type of relationship that would give him the privilege of access to her home.

  “But—”

  Stepping into her personal space, Gael lifted her chin with his thumb and forefinger. There was a flash of longing in her gaze, one that went straight to his cock. She’d been nothing but straightforward with him this entire time. Alice White, although clearly okay with the idea of kinky sex, was also looking for something more. Something he didn’t have time to provide her.

  “I’m not going to be the cause of our firm losing one of its best assistants because I didn’t listen to my own good advice and stay as far away from you as I could. Now, we are going to go into your home and discuss this like rational adults. If at the end of that discussion you decide you are no longer able to work with me, then I’ll be the one who will transfer to a different office. Not you.”

  Alice’s mouth had fallen open into a soft O during the course of his speech. Her lush lips were damp, making them glow in the sunlight. Her large hazel eyes were just as wide, making her look far too innocent for Gael to resist for long. Sliding his arm around her waist, he tugged her another inch closer to him. With his shirtsleeves rolled up, he could feel the softness of her apparently well-loved T-shirt against his skin. The flex of her back against him as she tried to keep herself away only served to encourage him.

  Gael shifted so his mouth was only an inch from her ear. “I’m not used to being told no, Alice. I’ll even be nice about it. Please let me into your home so we can discuss things.”

  Alice stepped out of his grasp and slipped the key into its lock.

  The air in the small house was a pleasant contrast to the rising outdoor heat. Gael came in only as far as the opening to the living room, knowing Alice would need a few minutes to get her bearings before he began the second part of his push.

  “I had to get out for a walk. I went down to my favorite coffee shop for an iced cappuccino.” The drink she’d abandoned on the closest flat surface to the door. “Being cooped up makes me to a bit crazy.”

  “Then you shouldn’t have faked illness.”

  Alice threw a glare at him over her shoulder before sitting down on her couch. “It was a mental health day.”

  “Days.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Days. I needed some time to myself.”

/>   The T-shirt she had on was light grey and had several small holes on the shoulder along the seam. Her normally perfect hair was lying too flat against her head, as if she hadn’t washed it in a while. No makeup either. It was the scruffiest he’d ever seen her, and the most beautiful.

  Gael walked over and sat down on the coffee table, forcing Alice to face him. “Did you figure it out?”

  She frowned and gave her head a small shake. “Figure what out?”

  “If you hate me or not.”

  “I don’t hate you.” The response was knee-jerk, too fast to be honest. Alice sighed as she leaned back against her seat. “I’m just trying to figure out if I’m broken.”

  He understood the power of silence, knowing the pressure it could bring when someone didn’t want to feel its oppression. Instead of speaking, he held his gaze on her and waited. Alice’s eyes flicked frantically beneath her closed lids, looking for answers she wouldn’t be able to find on her own.

  “When did you first...” She opened her eyes once more. “How did you figure out you liked sex that way?”

  The memories were as clear now as that first time he’d come face to face with the reality. “In university, before law school. I went with some friends out to a club. I was trying to pick up an older woman on a dare. She would smile at me and shake her head. Told me I wasn’t the type of man she needed.” He still kept in touch with Sandy through the occasional email. She was living happily with her husband and Master out in Calgary. “We got to talking, and she helped me realize a few things about myself.”

  “That you like hurting people.”

  That was the old accusation, and even in its innocence and ignorance, it still cut him deep. “No. I don’t abuse anyone.”

  Alice snorted. “I still had marks on my shoulders Monday morning.”

  “Did you feel abused?” Shifting forward until his knees were pressed against hers, he wanted to make damn certain she understood this. “At any time did you think I was taking advantage of you? Forcing you to do something you didn’t want? That I was unwilling to stop?”