13
AT ELEVEN, EM left the Hilton and headed on foot to meet Phillip at Orchids, an upscale restaurant in the Halekulani beachfront hotel not far away. After last night’s fiasco and the missing Booze Bible, she definitely wasn’t looking forward to seeing her ex, but at the moment anything was better than being at the hotel waiting for the Hula Maidens’ next misadventure.
Little Estelle hadn’t shown up all night. Her daughter was so beside herself with worry that Kiki gave her two Valiums and put her to bed. Now Big Estelle couldn’t stay awake more than ten minutes at a stretch.
In the middle of the night Little Estelle had sent a mass text message to all of the Maidens saying she was A-Okay and not to worry. Lillian was locked in her room, letting her Facebook fans and her private fan club in Iowa know that she was all right after one of them posted the KITV news clip of her arrest. The pitiful on-camera plea for help with bail was burning up the social media websites.
Uncle Louie, certain he was going to come in last in the Shake Off, was still worrying about the fate of his missing Booze Bible. Until she saw the man in the hoodie on the video, Em had convinced herself that he’d lost it somewhere between Kauai and checking into their room.
The Halekulani looked a lot closer on her map of Waikiki. By the time Em walked into the casually elegant oceanfront restaurant which appeared to be quite popular, not to mention expensive, she was beyond glowing. She was downright sweating.
As she took in the posh interior of the room complete with a baby grand piano, she hoped her ex didn’t stick her with the bill. Not only had Phillip been a player during their marriage, something she found out the hard way when someone sent her a photo of him in Costa Rica with another woman, but he’d also been living the life of a high roller, assuring her that his business was doing well. In reality, he was in debt up to his cojones.
The host informed Em that Phillip was already seated and waiting for her. He led her through the maze of white linen covered tables and bamboo chairs toward view seats.
Em spotted Phillip immediately. The divorce and his subsequent downfall had apparently been good for him. He was tan and fit and smiling. Though he had a slightly receding hairline, he still had a head full of rich chestnut brown hair which he’d taken to combing straight back. When he saw her across the room he waved and waited beside her chair for her.
“Em.” He stood back and eyed her from head to toe. “The casual look suits you. I like the ponytail.”
Casual? She was wearing a new belted sundress she’d picked up at a pricy boutique in Hanalei. She’d even jettisoned her rubber flip-flops for a pair of dressy sandals. Compared to what she’d been wearing over the last year at the bar, she was in formal wear.
Phillip, in his fitted Armani shirt and white linen pants, looked every bit the wealthy tourist. He held her chair while she sat down and then took his seat across the table.
Em decided on her way here the last thing she needed was a drink, but now that she was face-to-face with the man who’d cheated, lied, and turned her entire life upside down, she smiled across the table at him and ordered a shot of Patron.
“Straight tequila, Em? That’s a new twist.”
“Life is full of unexpected turns.”
She smiled at Phillip and pictured Uncle Louie back at the hotel with his cocktail building implements spread all over the small kitchen area in the suite and Kiki and the rest of them resting up for their next fiasco and mentally compared her new life and the people in it with the life she’d led back in Orange County.
“Never a dull moment,” she added.
“So you like living in Hawaii?” He picked up what appeared to be his usual bourbon on the rocks and leaned back in his chair.
Em’s gaze kept drifting to the vast stretch of turquoise water stretching toward the horizon and then to Diamond Head in the distance.
“What’s not to like? It’s paradise.”
He didn’t need the details of how she worked from nine in the morning until one a.m. closing or how she was still sharing the beach house with her uncle. He really had no business knowing that she was “kind of” dating both a successful screenwriter and a fire dancing detective.
Kind of.
“How are you doing?” she asked.
“Great, as a matter of fact. I’ve started my own business and turned my finances around. I found a great condo, and I’m living in Marina del Rey now. I like it a lot better than Newport. It’s far more cosmopolitan, not to mention closer to LA.”
By the time their divorce was finalized, they’d lost their home on exclusive Linda Isle and all of their assets in order to cover his debts. All Em had been left with was his precious Porsche, which she sold to pay her own expenses before she moved to Kauai to help Louie run the Goddess.
“I’m glad you’ve found your footing again.” She didn’t ask how many bimbos he was dating.
Her tequila arrived. She downed the shot while the waiter went on and on about the menu, and then Em ordered another.
Phillip continued to talk about himself, his new company, how he found the perfect condo, and how he was happier than he’d ever been in his life. Em threw back her second shot as soon as it hit the table and then started guzzling water. It was going to be a long day. The last thing she needed was a banging headache. Her stomach knotted when she thought he might be about to suggest they reconcile, now that he’d righted his ship, so to speak.
The waiter was hovering again, so Em ordered the Manoa salad and the olive oil poached salmon with Big Island goat cheese, pistachios, and roasted beet root entree. Phillip decided on the lobster sampler with lobster bisque, lobster salad on a bun, Hirabara greens, and chips.
When their entrees came the portions were substantially better than Em expected. She wasn’t especially fond of expensive little pyramids of food that wouldn’t fill a hummingbird beautifully displayed in the center of huge square plates. The Goddess was known for serving huge portions. No one ever left hungry.
“We’re staying at the Moana,” Phillip informed her after he’d tasted his lobster salad. “It’s the hotel known as the First Lady of Waikiki. What about you?”
“We’re at Hilton Hawaiian Village where the Shake Off contest is being held.”
“Ah.” He finished his bourbon on the rocks. “That’s right. I told you how I read the article in the LA Times?”
“When you called a couple of days ago,” she said.
He looked at her empty shot glass. “Would you like another drink?”
“No, I’m good for now.”
“Since when did you start drinking straight tequila?”
Since the day you told me you’d be fishing off of Catalina with the guys, and I opened a text with a photo of you in the airport in Costa Rica with a Barbie doll hanging on your arm.
“Oh, a while back,” she said. “But I rarely indulge. Not a good idea if you work in a bar.”
A thought filtered through the mellow tranquility induced by the Patron. Em looked down at her empty plate, blinked, and then looked at Phillip again. “Did you say we’re staying at the Moana?”
He signaled the waiter for another Maker’s Mark, and his confidence seemed to slip a notch.
“My fiancée and I. I’m getting married.”
“Re-married.”
“Right. It’s her first wedding, so it’s going to be a big one. Her name is Felicity. Felicity Duncan.”
The minute he made the announcement, mixed feelings of euphoria and freedom came over her on a wave of surprise.
Em smiled. “That’s great. Seriously. Congratulations.”
“We met at a yoga class. It was love at first sight.”
“Yoga? You’re into yoga?” She’d seen the young women going in and out of yoga classes. Tall, stick thin, bendable as pretzel dough.
“It’s great. You should try it. Very relaxing.”
So is the Patron, she thought.
“Are we having dessert?” Em waved a waiter down. “I’d like a dessert.”
She ordered the Halekulani’s Signature Coconut Cake and turned down another shot of tequila, though Phillip was pushing it. From where she sat Em had a side view of the entry. Phillip was going on about the benefits of stretching.
“Felicity says you’re only as young as your back is flexible,” he said.
“Oh, really?”
Em knew the minute she looked over and saw a taller, thinner, much younger version of herself standing in the doorway that she was looking at Felicity the Flexible. The blonde was staring at Em, clutching shopping bags that announced she’d done a fair amount of damage on Luxury Row, the haute shopping block on Kalakaua Avenue that included eight international boutiques: Bottega Veneta, Chanel, Coach, Gucci, Hugo Boss, Tiffany & Co., Tod’s and Yves Saint Laurent.
“There she is now. I told her I wanted to introduce you, but I’d about given up on her showing up.”
Em couldn’t decide if Phillip looked more like a proud father than a man in love. He was beaming as he watched Felicity Duncan cross the room.
Felicity, who couldn’t be a day over twenty-five, was sporting a perky pair of implants.
“Darling,” she said as she lifted her face to give Phillip what amounted to some quick air kisses with fully enhanced lips. Then she slid into a chair and piled her shopping bags on the floor around her Gucci wedges. She adjusted the plunging neckline of her designer sundress.
Then she finally looked Em’s way and gave a breathless, “Hi.”
“You found some things you liked?” Phillip asked.
Felicity shrugged. “A few.”
The waiter sidled up again and asked if she’d like something to drink.
“A Diva martini,” Felicity smiled.
Em stared.
“Sorry, we’re out of Diva at the moment.” The waiter didn’t bat an eye. “How about Grey Goose?”
Starting at $3800, Em wondered how many restaurant bars in Honolulu kept a bottle of Diva vodka on the top shelf.
Felicity pursed her ample lips and shrugged. “That’s fine. No olives.”
An awkward silence ensued. Phillip filled it with talk about the advantages of living in Marina del Rey over Newport Beach until the waiter returned with Em’s dessert and Felicity’s martini.
“How about lunch?” Phillip asked his fiancée before the waiter left.
“You know I don’t eat lunch. Ev-ver.” Felicity rolled her eyes.
Em looked down at four layers of sliced chiffon cake layered with coconut Amaretto cream, whipped cream, and shredded coconut. She picked up her fork and sectioned off a mouthful.
Once she’d swallowed, Em asked with all the syrup she could muster, “So when is the big wedding?”
Felicity looked out the window.
Em took another bite. She was more than ready to go but wasn’t about to leave one morsel of her dessert.
“Two months,” Phillip said. “We can’t wait.”
As she polished off the last of the coconut cake, Em decided Felicity looked like she could wait forever. Phillip couldn’t take his eyes off of his fiancée.
Finally Em folded her napkin and sat back.
“That was a wonderful meal, Phillip. Thank you so much. I’m glad we caught up and so happy for the two of you.” She scooted her chair back before he could stand. “Right now I’d better get back to the Hilton. Uncle Louie probably needs me.”
She grabbed her purse and slipped the strap over her shoulder. Phillip stood and rested his hand on Felicity’s shoulder, making sure anyone who was paying attention could tell he was with the younger of the two women.
14
WHEN EM WALKED back into their suite, Louie was still trying to recreate his contest recipe.
“How was your lunch?” he called out from across the room.
“It was okay. I’ll tell you about it later.”
No one was paying attention. Em was relieved none of them asked who she had lunch with.
Kiki, Suzi, and Trish were lounging in the sitting area channel surfing. Kiki’s waist-length hair, whether she wore it up or down, was always artfully combed. Right now it looked like a hurricane had hit it. Not only that, but bits of leaves and flowers were scattered all over the sofa and the carpet.
Em was about to ask what happened when she heard a loud thud and a scream come from the vicinity of Louie’s bathroom.
“Who was that?” she asked.
No one responded.
She walked across the suite into his room, knocked, and then opened the bathroom door. A small bar of hotel soap sailed past her head and she ducked. She took one quick look inside and slammed the door shut. She walked back into the sitting room.
“What is a monkey on a leash doing in the bathroom?” she wanted to know.
Suzi yawned and stretched. “He hates women.”
“He tore Kiki’s lei off her head and tried to rip her hair out.” Trish looked over her shoulder at Em. “Did you bring home any snacks? Chips or anything? I could sure use some Pirate’s Booty.”
“I could use a pirate’s booty, too,” Suzi laughed. “Seen any around?”
“Just the pirate ship that takes tourists out.”
“The contest committee is throwing a party tonight with a pirate theme. It’s open to the public,” Louie said.
“Excuse me, but maybe I should have asked why is there a monkey in the bathroom?” Em said.
Louie put down his jigger and wiped his hands on a towel.
“He’s on loan,” he said. “I was chatting with some of the other contestants, and one of the guys asked if I had brought my taste-testing parrot along—they had all seen Letterman on the reality show. I told him no and added that I sure wish I had. Nothing like a taste-testing parrot, I said.”
“Otherwise, all he has is us.” Kiki waved her hand. “But I have to pace myself.”
“I’m not a fan of flaming drinks,” Suzi said. “Louie says his entry is a flaming shot, but that’s a secret.”
“No tasting for me. My stomach’s been off since we got arrested,” Trish added.
“They’ve been no help at all,” Louie said.
“About the monkey, Uncle.” Em winced the minute she said it.
Louie ran his fingers through his hair. “So the guy says he has a friend who owns a monkey with a knack for knowing when a drink is absolutely great. I asked if I could maybe rent it for a few days, and he set it all up. The monkey was delivered about an hour ago.”
“Is he a good taste tester?” Em asked.
“I don’t know yet. He’s way more temperamental than Dave. If he hates a drink, he gets pissed and throws it against the wall. He’s already busted four glasses. I’m working on a flaming drink, so I can’t very well set fire to it in a plastic cup.”
“Melts,” Kiki said.
“No doubt.” Em nodded. Suddenly even dining with Phillip and Felicity seemed preferable to this insanity.
“What’s its name, Louie?” Trish asked.
“I forgot to ask,” Louie said.
The phone rang and Em answered. When it was the front desk for Louie, she expected someone had complained about the shrieks sporadically emanating from the bathroom. Em handed him the phone.
“Please send it up with a porter,” Louie told whoever was on the line.
Kiki roused herself but didn’t leave the sofa.
“We really should go. We’ve got to get Big Estelle on her feet before four thirty. We’re dancing in the main lobby.”
“If you get arrested again I’m leaving you all in jail.”
“I cleared it with the hotel manager. We’re dancing from four to four thirty in the main lobby area near the front desk.”
“You really have permission?” Em folded her arms.
“Would I lie?” Kiki tried to pat her hair back into place with her hands.
“With or without a polygraph?” Em said.
Louie said, “There’s a press conference for the contest in the lobby after the dancing.”
Em asked, “Has anyone seen Little Estelle?”
“Unfortunately, yes,” Suzi told her. “She won’t say what she was doing or where she was last night, but she’s positively radiant.”
“For someone her age,” Trish added.
“And she’s into rap music now. Writing rap music, actually,” Kiki said.
“Rap?”
Suzi put her feet up on the coffee table. “Last I saw she was on her scooter headed to the sundry shop for a notebook and some pens.”
Trish walked over and looked at the snack basket on top of the mini bar. “She was singing ‘Swing that wood. Swing that wood’ over and over. I thought maybe she’d met a baseball player, but she winked at me, and she wasn’t talking about a wooden bat or wood from a tree. She winked and said, ‘You know, like when a guy gets a woody.’”
Em rubbed her temples.
There was a knock on the door. Before Louie answered, he whispered not to mention the monkey. He opened the door to the porter holding a manila envelope. Louie thanked the young man, and Em quickly scrambled to get him a tip before Louie closed the door again.
“Must be from the contest committee.” Louie started opening it.
Something crashed in the bathroom.
“Maybe someone should check on the monkey,” Em suggested.
Kiki held up both hands and shook her head. “Not me. He almost scalped me. He’s really pissed off.”
Louie pulled two sheets of paper out of the envelope, perused them, lost all color in his face, and sat down at the dining table.
Too Hot Four Hula: 4 (The Tiki Goddess Mystery Series) Page 7
