by Stacey Kayne
"Not at all," he said, his guns clunking onto the floor.
Jed collected the twin revolvers, noting the pearl hilts. Both guns were polished to a shine. "Put your hands down, boy, and reclaim your seat." Juniper sat down as Jed holstered his own gun and closed the door behind him. "Rachell, I believe you offered the young man some stew."
Jed strode toward Juniper. The boy sat still as a statue as Jed reached out and flicked a few pieces of hair from the front of his shirt. "So, you came here to help, did ya?"
"Yes, sir," he said, holding his gaze with unblinking eyes.
"Jed-"
"Honey, don't keep the boy waitin'," he interrupted. "No reason we can't talk over a bowl of stew, huh, Juniper?"
"No, sir," Juniper agreed in a dull tone.
Juniper's long, bony presence bothered Jed far more than it should have. The fact that none of the aggression he was feeling had a damn thing to do with Sumner and everything to do with seeing Rachell's hands threaded through the kid's blond hair made him mad as hell. He'd never been jealous over a woman a day in his life. But damn the whole of creation! He'd never seen Rachell doting over someone else.
He knew he couldn't have her, but he hadn't planned on being around when men began paying her calls. Although, Juniper wasn't quite yet a man.
"Have you spotted Sumner?" Juniper asked, his cold blue eyes staring straight at Jed as Rachell placed a bowl in front of him.
"Yesterday morning," Jed answered.
"Why didn't you say anything?" Rachell demanded, placing his bowl onto the table with considerable force.
"No sense in worrying you. They're not close. In fact, they appear to be lost. Yet you found the canyon two days back without a speck of trouble," he said to Juniper.
Juniper's expression gaped. "You knew?"
A chill seized Rachell's spine at the sight of Jed's cold smile. This was the man who'd taken her from the saloon.
"Relax, sugar. I'm not going to harm your young suitor," Jed drawled in a cynical tone. "Eat up, son," he instructed.
Juniper glanced skeptically at Rachell. "Miss Rachell, I don't want to take your chair. I'm the one imposing on your noontime meal."
"She's got a seat right here." Jed reached out, wrapping his
hands around Rachell's waist as he pulled her down onto his thigh. Exactly where she belonged-not doting over some smooth-faced golden boy. He flashed a thin smile at Rachell's expression of surprise. Her lips quickly stretched into a confident grin.
Hell. He was jealous of a snot-nose kid, and she knew it!
Dear God. She smells of lilac.
The sweet fragrance swirled through his nostrils, spawning a flood of memories that hardened his body in a rush. Rachell reached up and tucked a wedge of long hair behind his ear, and his heart thudded hard against his chest. She shifted against him, showing no objection to being in his arms, and fully taking advantage of his weakness.
The sound of metal scraping metal drew him away from the lure of her green eyes. Jed watched in amazement as the boy shoveled bite after bite of Rachell's stew into his mouth, finishing the bowl without coming up for a breath.
Jed glanced at his own bowl. Just by sight, he could see that the large chunks of potatoes weren't but half cooked. He shifted his gaze back to Rachell who seemed just as bewildered by the boy's gusto.
"That was mighty fine stew," Juniper said with a grin, his glazed blue eyes fixed on Rachell. "Thank you, Miss Rachell."
Hell, if the kid could stomach it, so could he.
After one bite, Jed knew the kid had to be sweet on Rachell. He'd bitten into apples that were softer than the raw potatoes crunching under his teeth. The pot of broth setting on the stove surely contained more salt than the ocean. He forced a few more bites before admitting defeat and dropping his spoon.
"Honey, why don't you serve up some more stew for our guest," he suggested, easing Rachell up as he stood. He quickly poured himself a cup of coffee. Taking mercy on the kid, Jed placed a cup in front of him, but he didn't get the gushing smile Juniper gave Rachell when she served him more of her stew.
"So, just how did you find this canyon so easily?" Jed inquired as he reclaimed his seat.
"I followed the directions Sam gave me," Juniper said between bites. "Sumner thought it was a trap and found his own scouts."
Jed grinned. He'd bet his ranch that one of Sumner's scouts happened to be a large Ute by the name of Running Bear. He'd seen the party of men weaving through canyons in round-about circles. They were being led by someone who knew what they were doing.
"I'm wondering why you felt compelled to jump lines and take the risk of warning Miss Nightingale."
Rachell glared at his amused smile as she came up beside him, but that didn't keep her from sliding her sweet little backside right back onto his thigh.
"Miss Nightingale was always real nice to me," Juniper said quickly.
Rachell slapped a hand against the table. "My name is Rachell."
Juniper's wide, apologetic eyes snapped toward her. "Oh, that's right. Sorry, Miss Rachell."
"If Miss Nightingale was so nice," continued Jed, "why were you helping to drag her back to Missouri when you knew she'd be in danger? Her friend Titus had already been killed."
"I swear I had nothin' to do with his death." Juniper's imploring eyes moved between Jed and Rachell. "I liked Titus. He did a fine job of protectin' Miss Ni-uh, Miss Rachell, from the drunks who tried to hound her after her shows. I was real sorry about his death, but damn happy when I heard she'd left town. Then Maxwell said he was sending Stewart after her and, well...I fretted for Miss Rachell's safety. Maxwell said she weren't to be touched or roughed up none, but I knew how Stewart was with the other women. My uncle wudn't know no better, so I insisted on goin' along."
"One of those men was your uncle?" Jed asked, feeling a deep sense of dread. Dear God. Had he orphaned this kid?
"Unfortunately," Juniper snarled, his eyes freezing over. "Don't go rousin' your conscience over me. You just saved me from stayin' up nights figurin' how I'd kill him myself."
Jed saw the sorrow in Rachell's expression and figured the boy had endured a good deal of pain at the hands of the man he'd shot down in Weaver. "And what are you planning to do now?" Jed asked.
"Well, sir, I suppose whatever you need me to do. If it comes to a fight, I'm a quick and accurate shot. Sumner's brought plenty of gunmen. I may be young, but I'm as good as any ten of his men combined."
Jed didn't doubt his word. There wasn't a note of bragging in his tone. Damn if he wasn't already starting to like this kid. "Juniper, I'll take you up on that offer. I could use you to keep watch near the entrance of the canyon."
"Yes, sir."
"Call me Jed."
Juniper's lips twitched, hinting at a smile. "You can call me June."
"Is that what your friends call you?"
"It's what Miss Rachell calls me," Juniper replied, his face stone serious.
Jed glanced up at Rachell's gentle smile and had to remind himself he had no call to be jealous of this kid.
They spent a half hour discussing Sumner and the best spot for Juniper to keep a lookout. By the time Juniper left the cabin he'd eaten three bowls of Rachell's stew and flashed her so many damn smiles Jed's blood pressure was giving him serious trouble.
Rachell closed the door and looked back at Jed who still sat at the table. "I'd never guess you to be the jealous sort," she said with a smile.
"I suppose you didn't notice Juniper's smitten with you either?" Jed said in a flat tone.
"What?" Rachell shrieked, completely aghast. "He's a boy."
"A boy who looks at you with a mighty case of wonder lust.
Who could blame him with the way you were running your fingers through his hair."
He had his nerve! "You're imagining things. I trimmed his hair. I can't believe you are this jealous of a young boy."
"Why the hell shouldn't I be? That boy is closer to your age than I am."
&
nbsp; She started to refute his statement, but realized she didn't know Jed's exact age. She'd always assumed him to be early thirties, not that his age had concerned her in the least.
"Aren't you going to ask?" he clipped in a cold tone.
"No. Your age has no bearing on how I feel about you."
"I'll be forty next month."
She tried not to show her surprise, truly she did. His mumbled curse and fierce scowl indicated she had failed. Lord help her, she would never have guessed him to be nearly forty. Thirty-five, maybe, but.. .what did it matter? She was in love with him. This was just another excuse to cover his own uncertainties. "Don't you dare act like our age difference is my problem, because it's not!"
"That difference is sixteen years, Rachell! I should never have touched you."
"I wouldn't care if you were about to turn fifty! This isn't about me not knowing how I feel. You're the one running from your feelings, the one who can't get past my age. But passion is ageless, Jed. If what happened between us hadn't affected you as deeply as it has me, you wouldn't be running from me."
"You're damn right!"
Rachell stepped toward him, ignoring his fierce expression as she nudged between his legs. Jed groaned, pain darkening his eyes as she looped her arms around his neck. She rested her forehead against his and he closed his eyes. She stroked her fingers through the streaks of gray in the black hair at his temples, and felt Jed tremble. The response still amazed her. "Why won't you let us have what we both want?"
"Because we're all wrong for each other," he said softly. His
arms closed around her. "You're a beautiful young woman with your whole life ahead of you."
"I'm twenty-three, yet I'd not lived a day until I met you."
"No." His hands dropped away from her. He stood breaking away from her embrace. "I won't do this again."
"Again?" The single word explained the shadows in Jed's eyes. Memories of his first wife. 'That's it," she said, pain and frustration gripping her heart. "You don't want to risk being near me because you still love Malika."
"No! I can't risk getting close to you because it nearly killed me to watch you burn in my arms and not sheath myself inside your sleek, virginal body. Part of me keeps telling me you're my wife, when I know full well you're not! My mind and body have been at war since the moment I met you!"
"Then stop fighting me!"
"Rachell-"
"I hate the distance between us!" she cried without pausing for breath. "I can't stand it. I want you to talk to me, smile at me, touch me!"
"I can't!"
"Why not?" she demanded.
"You know why."
"No, I don't."
"Because I can't touch you without wanting you-"
"But I want you!"
"-and I can't take you without binding us in a marriage we'll both regret," he continued in a tone of steady control.
"I say you can."
"I say I can't."
He stood before her, as impenetrable as a mountainside, clearly not about to expose any part of himself to her.
"Does my being a virgin really change our situation so much?"
"Yes. It changes everything."
"So, if I'd been the whore you thought I was, you'd have no problem-"
"Damn it, Rachell! We fought about this the other night." He turned toward the door. "I don't want to have this argument again!"
"That's too damned bad," she shouted, hurrying to block his path. She pressed her back against the rough wood of the door, daring him to move her aside. She knew as easily as he could, he wouldn't. "Last night I did all the fighting while you just sat there! I'm right, aren't I? If I had slept with one, five, or twenty other men, you would make love to me without question. Why does it make such a difference?"
Jed took a step back, leaving two feet between them, but to Rachell it felt like two miles.
"Because your innocence has you convinced you love me," he said in a low tone. "If you'd experienced the touch of another man, you'd know-"
"I can't bear the touch of anyone else."
"How do you know? I'm the only man who's ever touched you!"
"How can you hold that against me?"
"I'm not punishing you for being a virgin, Rachell. Damn it, if I didn't respect the hell out of you I'd take you without regard, but I can't do that. When you meet the man-"
"There is no other man! I only want you."
Jed's eyes flinched. "Sweetheart, you say that now, but-"
"But, nothing! I know you don't want to hear it, but I love you!"
Jed's expression twisted with pain as he turned away. He stopped in the center of the room and looked back at her. "Those feelings are temporary. You've been stuck with me for weeks. You've had no choice but to depend on me for your survival and safety. Gratitude isn't love. Given time, you'll see that."
"And the emotions you have for me, is that gratitude? I know you at least care about me."
"Hell yes, I care about you! Have you thought about what's going to happen when we reach California? Am I supposed to take your virginity then hand you over to Buck and Elizabeth and pretend nothing has happened? It would be wrong, Rachell. I have no intention of keeping a wife. I'm not a marrying sort of man, honey," he said in a strained tone, his voice sounding apologetic. "Once you get to California, you'll see that. You would realize you'd wasted your virtue on me."
"No!" She marched toward him. Jed's hands fisted at his sides as she stopped just inches away. "You're wrong. I am grateful for all you've done for me, but what I feel for you is so much more than that. I've been surrounded by men my whole life and never felt the sensations you cause deep inside me. My feelings for you won't fade."
"Passion isn't love, Rachell. I know that better than most. The pleasure you felt-"
"I'm not talking about physical pleasure!" she shouted, thumping his chest with her hands, infuriated by his refusal to believe her. "I'm talking about the feeling I get from just being near you, hearing your voice, seeing you smile! I'm not asking for your love in return or the promise of marriage."
"That's just it! You should be asking those things of the man who beds you. You deserve nothing less."
"I learned a long time ago that it doesn't pay to wish for what I can't have."
"Honey, you can have all those things. There are plenty of men-"
"Why won't you listen? You've told me from the beginning you don't want a wife and I believe you. That doesn't stop me from burning inside for you."
"Rachell..."
She wondered if he was shaking with anger or with the same hunger she felt whenever she looked at him. He wanted her with the same intensity, she could see it in his eyes.
"Bedding you wouldn't be fair to either of us. You didn't choose me. You hardly know me."
"I think I know you pretty well."
"Did you know I've already been in a forced marriage?"
Rachell's breath caught.
"I didn't choose my first bride, and she surely didn't choose me. She sure as hell didn't love me. I can't do it again."
"Jed-"
He backed up as she moved toward him. "Don't you see? I'd be no better than Sumner, taking advantage of you in a moment of weakness. Eventually, you'd hate me for it."
The fear in his eyes tore at Rachell's heart. No wonder he wouldn't touch her. He perceived his distance as another way of protecting her, from himself. But she knew her feelings wouldn't change-she'd never hate him.
"What if I get to California," she said, "and I'm surrounded by all these alleged suitors, and I still only want you? Would you feel differently then?"
"I don't know," Jed said in a tone of pure pain. He crossed his arms as he sat heavily against the table.
"Would you still want me?"
"Hell yes, I'd want you!" His explosive reply rattled the small cabin as he rushed past her and stormed outside.
Chapter Nineteen
It was dusk when Jed walked into Sumner's camp. Even after fou
r hours of riding, he was still so worked up over his conversation with Rachell, he didn't even try to sneak in. Hell, a fight would help burn off the pent-up tension that had been building inside him for the past few weeks.
The camp was larger than he'd expected. The meadow was scattered with at least twenty single to midsize tents. A huge white structure rose up at the end of the clearing. The broad tent was large enough to hold another forty men or so.
He picked his way around the other canvas shelters, passing clusters of men, none of them giving him any notice. That's what happens when you hire a bunch of drifters, he thought. Drunken drifters to boot, he noticed, breathing in the heavy scent of whisky.
On the west end of the meadow he spotted a campfire surrounded by familiar faces.
"Fancy meeting you here," he said as he approached the circle of Utes.
"Brother," Running Bear greeted him in his native tongue. "Sit. Share our meal."
"Don't mind if I do," Jed said as he sat, accepting the plate that was handed to him. "I've been eating light the last few
days." Jed greeted the other five Ute warriors sitting around the fire. After a few bites of rabbit meat, he looked back at Running Bear. "You left right after we did, didn't you?"
Running Bear grinned. "You fast to offer help. No good with asking."
"How'd you find Sumner?"
"Same as I find any game," Running Bear said with a shrug. "I go to biggest watering hole."
Jed laughed, glancing again at the circus tent occupied by Sumner. "I hope he doesn't have another fifty men stashed inside that canvas palace."
"No. Palace for White Hair alone."
Jed sighed with relief. "I saw the tracks of two horses near our cabin this morning, but I had company and didn't get a chance to check them out. Were they your men?"
"Buck say he ride near your cabin."
"You've seen Buck?"
"Yes. And Ben Darby."
He'd spotted tracks near the canyon, and had thought it was them, but appreciated the confirmation. Buck and his nephew Ben were as the closest family Jed had, aside from Running Bear. He'd trust them to get Rachell safely out of the canyon.
"I have six men camped further in the canyon with Ben Darby. They watch for White Hair's scouts."
