“If you insist,” my dad says as he holds the door open for my mom.
“I do. Goodnight.” I tip my hat to him and he gives a slight nod.
My first night in my own place. My place, my house, my home… I can’t believe it’s actually mine.
After Emily and Keith left, it was just me, my mom, and Ben. We unloaded boxes until our backs hurt and fatigue set in.
“I have some wine for you ladies to go with your whining,” Ben calls from the kitchen, chuckling. My mom and I sprint from my room and grab the glasses. I take a sip and lick my lips, savoring the flavor. There is nothing like a glass or three of wine to end a stressful day.
“I knew that would shut you up,” he laughs and grabs a beer from the fridge.
“Hey,” my mom and I say in unison, and then giggle.
“We should break for the night and finish up tomorrow,” I suggest, and they both agree.
My mom and Keith leave for their hotel and I lay in bed, looking around my new room. It hasn’t sunk in yet that this is all mine, but I hope it will soon. Having my mom here makes it feel like old times. I do come to the sudden realization that although I will always love Chicago, my life is here now.
Being in the house all by myself is a dangerous thing. I can’t help but to think of Dean—the good and bad times that we shared in the short week I got to know him. Tears fall and I can do nothing to stop them. My mom has always maintained that crying is good for the soul, so I let them fall and cry out when my chest contracts. The pain is overwhelming and I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy… okay, maybe Devon.
One month later…
I’ve been in my new job for a month and I love it. Everyone is so nice here, and I was given leads on potential clients the first day which was a huge bonus in itself. Mr. Keiser called me my first day to wish me luck and told me he missed me—adding that his new assistant thinks he needs to be waited on hand and foot and won’t leave him alone. I have to laugh at that because he is one of the most independent men I know, and working for him was quite possibly the easiest job ever.
The condo is perfect for me. I love having my own space to do whatever I want, and there is even a park nearby with a trail so I can go running again.
Tonight I’m heading home after my run when I spot a red pick-up in my driveway that I don’t recognize. As I get closer, I see Dean leaning against the tailgate.
“What are you doing here?” I ask.
He stands up and walks to me, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me into him, crushing his lips to mine. I freeze, not knowing how to react. Do I push him away? Slap him?
“Dean, you can’t just come here and do that. What’s wrong with you?” I pull away from him and wiggle out of his grasp.
“What’s wrong with me?” He repeats my question as if the answer is obvious but I’m still very much in the dark. He tries to grab for me again but I step back. “I’ll tell you what’s wrong with me… I’m miserable! I can’t eat, can’t sleep, everywhere I look I see you. I hear your laugh, see your smile and fall into your deep blue gaze every time I close my eyes.
“And you want to know why that is?” He looks straight into my eyes and I swear I can see every emotion I’ve ever felt reflected right back at me. “You want to know why I’m waiting out here like an idiot for the chance to see you when we haven’t spoken in weeks?” His voice is getting louder and louder with each word, and I want to ask him to keep it down but I’m paralyzed. “Because I’m in love with you, Phoebe. I fucking love you.”
“You love me?” I whisper.
“Hell yes I love you! I think I loved you since the first time I saw you, when you stepped out of the car and started yelling at me.” He chuckles, leaning against the truck.
I’m speechless. Emily had said that it was love, but I’ve never experienced it so I wouldn’t know the difference.
“Have dinner with me tonight?” he asks, grabbing my hand and pulling me in to him.
I’ve had a lot of time to think about things the past two weeks and the only conclusion is that I love him too. I want to be with him but I’m not sure I can trust him again. My main focus is work and building a name for myself. It’s inevitable that I’ll run into him when I go to visit Emily and Keith so it’s only right that we make amends.
“Dean, we can only be friends. I’ll have dinner with you tonight but that’s it. No more kissing or touching, none of it.” I shake my head. I’m not sure if he kisses me again, I’ll have the willpower to stop him again.
“I promise Phoebe, I’ll be a complete gentleman.” He extends his hand for me to shake. “Friends?”
I nod. “Friends,” I take his hand in mine and I feel the familiar tingles that only his touch can give me.
I took a chance in coming to Phoebe’s tonight but I was going out of my mind without her in my life.
When she agrees to go to dinner with me, I’m shocked to say the least. I offered her my friendship but if I have it my way, I’ll make her mine one day. I can stand being friends until I earn her trust but after that, I won’t hesitate to putt a ring on her finger. I will work hard every day to show her that I’m sorry for what I did.
I wait in her condo while she takes a quick shower and gets ready. It’s nice—very spacious and very Phoebe. All modern furniture with a touch of country, which I have no doubt is my mom’s doing.
She walks out from her room, her blonde hair in waves cascading over her shoulders and her lips plump and red. Fuck, she’s beautiful. I could look at her every day and feel the same way as I do right now.
She changes into a jean skirt, showing off her smooth legs and a black, tight fitting tank top that emphasizes all of her… ahem… assets. She slips into a pair of sandals that make her legs look a mile long. What I wouldn’t give to run my hand up the silky smooth skin, taking my time, and feeling every inch of her against my skin.
I lick my dry lips and I’m broken from my day dream when she opens the front door. “Ready to go?”
“Uh, yeah.” Holding the door open, I allow her to step out in front of me, she looks up and smiles.
This is going to be a long night.
I hurry to open the truck door for her and I’m tempted to place my hands around her waist and lift her in—the same way I’ve done so many times before. When I got back home, my dad and I sold the Neon and got the red Ram he had his eye on. As much as I loved that old car, I don’t miss it in the slightest.
I take Phoebe to a burger joint by the condo. It’s a little uncomfortable on the ride to the restaurant but once we’re seated, I start to tell Phoebe everything. I don’t know when I’ll get another chance to explain so I let it all out. When I’m done, I can’t read the expression on her face and I’m afraid at how she’ll respond.
“So?” I ask, chewing on my bottom lip, nervously.
She bites the inside of her cheek and looks as if she’s thinking about what to say. I wait patiently because I know she’s about to say what’s on her mind.
She takes a deep breath and offers her hand to me. “Hi, I’m Phoebe Andrews.” A smile tugs at her lips and I can’t help but play along.
“Dean Montgomery.” I shake her hand and introduce myself. “It’s nice to meet you, Phoebe.”
Today is the day of Jake and Addison’s wedding. I didn’t want to go but Emily talked me into it. I’m usually the one doing the persuading and I’m not sure if I like the turnaround.
It’s been five months since I’ve been in my new place and it’s starting to feel like home. I’ve established a nice routine—I go to work, come home, and then go for a run. It’s different to come home to an empty house, considering the fact that for the past twenty-four years I’ve always had someone to talk to in the evenings.
Not much has changed since I left the Montgomery’s farm. I still talk to Emily daily, and I go to their house for family dinners every Sunday. Since I had dinner with Dean, we have been able to start over fresh—as friends. We both agreed that it
will take some time for me to trust him again, but we’re working on it.
I’m finding it easy to gain clients, and all the hours I’m putting in at the office are definitely paying off. I’ve been asked to help train the new recruits at the orientations. I’m pretty much my own boss—I don’t have to answer to anyone as long as I handle my clients and get my work done.
I’ve had to travel for work but I enjoy seeing new places and meeting new people. I am now brace free and Dr. Baylor said my wrist had healed up nicely and he didn’t see it necessary for me to have any further appointments, things had finally started to feel normal again.
I’ve even made some friends at work. I don’t hang out with them–aside from lunch dates—but it’s nice to have a people to talk to.
A couple of months ago, word spread like wildfire about Dean and Devon. I had met up with Addison for dinner one night and I laid it all out on the line for her. When Addy confronted Devon, Devon said she wanted me to see them together because Dean was ‘hers’ and I was stealing him away from her.
I started talking to my mom every day again. She and Ben have decided to get married. They said life is too short not to be happy, and getting married was what they both wanted. I love that he makes her happy, and that he’s there for her when I can’t be. I know she’s taken care of and it’s one less thing for me to worry about.
Last week, on a short trip back to Chicago, I met Ben’s kids. Hadley, who is seventeen, seems pretty great. I wouldn’t mind having her down here when she’s on summer vacation. When I mentioned it to her, she was all smiles. Emily said that she can hang out on the farm while I’m at work so it gives her something to do.
Landon, who is twenty-three, is getting his Master’s degree in Architecture from Columbia University in New York. We got together for Hadley’s high school graduation. I thought it would be weird meeting his kids but it was quite the opposite. I was able to take Hadley out to get her nails done for the ceremony and we went shopping for a dress.
I’d never thought about what it might have been like to have siblings. It never occurred to me that I was missing out on anything, but once I got to spend time with Hadley and Landon it became clear that I would have enjoyed some more company—other than my mom—growing up.
I’m getting nervous about going to the wedding. The possibility that Dean may bring a date is enough to make me want to lose my lunch.
After my shower, I slip on my robe and curl my hair. I slide on the black dress I found online. It’s long with halter straps and a keyhole neck line, very elegant and modest. I slip into a pair of silver heels and take a look in the mirror at the complete ensemble—is it too late to back out?
I’ve been back at home for months and I still can’t bring myself to go upstairs. Nothing around here has been the same. My parents seem to move in slow motion during the week, but as soon as Sunday rolls around they are bouncing out of their skin with excitement, waiting for Phoebe to arrive for dinner.
Phoebe and I had dinner a while back and we were able to talk some things through, though there is still some tension between us. We manage to be civil during Sunday family dinners and, regardless of what happens between us, she will always be considered family.
I thought my parents were going to castrate me when I told them what happened the day I left. My mom didn’t speak to me for almost a week and my dad growled—yes, actually growled—at me for three whole days. Over time I made the loft into my home. I bought a new mattress and a dresser so that my mom can still have a room for guests. Phoebe’s mom and her boyfriend are staying with us next month when they come to visit. They are bringing his daughter and she’s staying with Phoebe so they needed a place to stay.
I’ve been thinking about how to get Phoebe back. I don’t just want her back in my life as a friend, that’s not good enough for me. I want her back as my friend, my lover and—I haven’t told my parents yet—but I want her as my wife.
I know it’s a long shot and it’s going to take time but I vow to make it happen. I bought a ring from a jeweler in Nashville when I was staying there. It’s nothing big, but when I saw it I knew I it was made for her. I’ve even had it engraved with the word ‘Baby’. She loves that movie ‘Dirty Dancing’ so much, but also because she is my baby. She’s my baby, my angel, my Barbie—my everything.
It was Jake’s idea to give the ring to Phoebe at his wedding. It’s not an engagement ring, more of a promise ring. A promise that I will never hurt her again. A promise that I will always be there for her. A promise to always protect her.
Phoebe works a lot of hours and so do I, plus, I don’t think I could ever get her to move to the farm. I’m saving up and my five year plan is to build a house by the lake—our lake—and then ask her to marry me, if she’ll have me that is.
I slip into my silver vest, and grab the jacket to the tux before heading out. We’re all meeting at Jake and Addy’s house for drinks and pictures. Addison stayed at her parent’s house last night after the rehearsal dinner. I was hoping that Phoebe would have gone but she had to work.
I’ve only seen Devon once since that day in the stable. She called me and asked to meet. I didn’t want to—not knowing what she might have up her sleeve this time—so to play it safe, I told her to meet me at a nearby park. When I found her sitting on a bench, I sat down next to her. I’ll admit that thoughts of strangling her ran through my mind, but I could never do something like that. She kept it short and sweet and apologized to me. She said that she felt bad for what she did and with hindsight she could see that what she did was wrong.
When I told Jake about what happened, he promised to have her kicked out of the wedding party so that I wouldn’t have to stand up with her. Once Addison found out she made it happen, and I don’t think anyone has seen or spoken to Devon since then.
Austin and I were able to mend our friendship. After he found out what happened and I admitted my feelings for Phoebe.
On the drive to Jake’s, I hear a song on the radio that makes me think of Phoebe. “Cowboys and Angel’s” by Dustin Lynch. That’s us—I’m her cowboy and she’s my Angel.
Walking into Jake’s house, I wipe the sweat from my forehead. Of all days to get married, I think they picked the hottest day of the year. I take my hat off when I get inside and I’m immediately greeted by Jake’s dad, my dad, and Jakes brother, Josh.
“Hey, it’s Dean,” Josh calls out. We clasp hands and give each other a hug.
“Hi, Josh.” I say as I pat him on the back. Josh is a student at University of Alabama. I’m always teasing him because it’s my favorite school’s rival team.
I break away from him and walk over towards a very nervous Jake, standing in the kitchen by himself. He’s sweating bullets and looks as if he’s going to pass out at any minute. “You okay, man?” I ask, patting him on the shoulder.
He shakes his head as if I’d broken him out of a trance, and the beer in his hand nearly slips out of his grip. “Huh?” he asks.
I chuckle. “I asked if you’re okay? You look like you’re about to pass out.” I say, leaning against the counter and folding my arms over my chest.
“Yeah, I’m okay. I’m just ready to get this over with. I’m ready to call Addy my wife.” A smile spreads across his face and I swear this is the happiest I’ve ever seen him.
“I get it, man,” I say, taking a beer out of the fridge and twisting the cap off. The cool liquid goes down easily, soothing my dry throat.
“Is this where the party’s at?” Austin walks in from the back door with a forty ounce in his hand and I can’t help but laugh. Leave it to him to make sure he has enough beer in his hand so that he doesn’t have to keep coming back for more.
“Hey, man, do you have enough beer there?” I ask, pointing at the large brown bottle.
“Hell no, but it’s enough to last until we get going.” He twists his wrist and looks at his watch. “The limo should be here in twenty minutes so that means I can probably have one more before we
leave.”
I shake my head in disbelief. Austin was always the odd one out. He marches to the beat of his own drum, but that’s okay because we like him like that.
On my way to the wedding, I stop at the Montgomery’s to pick up Emily. Keith had gone to Jake’s before the wedding for some ‘man time’. When I pull in, I stare at the loft above the barn. Dean moved in shortly after I left. He claims that it was because he needed a space of his own, but I know that’s not true and I don’t blame him. It’s hard for me to think about going back into that room. Before I left, pretty much everything in that house reminded me of him and I had to get out.
I honk the horn and Emily walks out in a beautiful, cream colored, chiffon dress. When she gets in, she turns all of the vents towards her and leans in.
“Oh my god! It’s got to be over a hundred degrees out there today,” she pants.
“Yes it is, it’s horrible. You look beautiful by the way.” I smile.
“So do you, Pheebs. That dress is amazing on you,” she pulls down the visor to look in the mirror and fix her makeup.
“Thank you,” I say and laugh when I hit a dip in the dirt road and she misses her lip while gliding on her red lipstick. We both start giggling and talk about the wedding.
As we get closer to the church my breathing becomes more rapid and I start to sweat. Frantically, I turn all the vents towards me and fan myself with my hand. “Are you okay, Phoebe?” Emily asks.
I can’t seem to find my voice. I don’t know what’s going on, but I think I’m nervous about seeing Dean. I see him every Sunday so this should be no different, right? Wrong. The thought about seeing him in such an intimate setting is sending me into panic mode.
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