“Hey, Justine. It’s me,” I said once she picked up.
“I’m so glad you called. I don’t know what you did, Alex, but Charlie hasn’t called or text in the past twenty-four hours,” she launched in immediately, just as I knew she would.
“I told you that I’d take care of it, and I did.”
“Can I ask? What did you do?”
“We got him to sign off on a gag order, or else face an extortion charge. It was a piece of cake. Don’t worry about it. The contract is air tight and the secret is safe.”
“I know that you’re only doing this for me. I’m so sorry,” she said regretfully. “I didn’t want to have to involve you. You don’t know how much it means to me.”
I leaned back in my chair and sighed.
“Yeah, well…if it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t have to worry about the media. Besides, I don’t want a media fiasco any more than you do. Have you talked with Suzanne?”
“Yes. She knows the gist of what’s going on. I had hoped we could meet for lunch today, but she was tied up at work. We planned a spa day for later in the week. I’ll fill her in more then.”
“Glad to hear. How is the planning going for the Stone’s Hope fundraiser?”
“Oh, that’s another thing I’ve been worried about! Charlie knows about the amount of work that goes into this event. It would be just like him to ruin it,” she said, voice full of scorn. “He gets off on causing a scene. I could just see him running his mouth the day of.”
“So, what’s the status on the dinner?” I asked her again, reeling her back in from her rant.
“Oh, sorry. Yes. Actually, things are going smoothly. The tickets are almost all sold. We have some big donors stepping up with large ticket items for the silent auction. Florist is all set and the menu has been decided. I only need to meet with the band and discuss their fee.”
“If you think they’re good, pay them whatever they want. That will be my donation from Stone Enterprise.”
“We’ll see. I have yet to actually hear them play myself. If I don’t like how they sound, I’m going with the band that was used at last year’s Chamber of Commerce Ball. I already have them lined up anyway, but I thought I’d check out someone different than the usual. Once I decide who I’m going with, we can discuss who is paying.”
I was happy to hear that she had everything under control. I was right to appoint her as Head of Relations and Fundraising for the Stoneworks Foundation. Justine was better when she had a focus, a cause that she could throw herself into. Stone’s Hope was a perfect fit for her.
“It sounds like you have a good handle on things. I gotta run now, Justine. But let me know about the band either way.”
“Will do. And Alex…thanks again for Charlie.”
“I got your back. Always,” I said earnestly. Justine was like a fragile bird with a broken wing. It was my duty to be strong for her, to get her through whatever shit was thrown at her. I had to break the endless cycle that was her life – that was our lives. “I’ll talk to you later, Justine.”
I ended the call and eyed the clock. It was a good day – a productive one, but the time had gotten away from me and I still had a few stops to make before seeing Krystina tonight.
Satisfied that I was leaving everything in good order until tomorrow, I dialed Hale.
“Calling it quits for the day, boss?” he asked upon answering.
“You got it. Bring the car around. Krystina is coming by tonight and I have a few errands to make before I send you to get her.”
The silence on the other end of the line at the mention of Krystina ticked me off. I hung up, rather than waiting to hear what Hale might have said.
I could admit that a woman at my place two nights in a row was a rarity for me. But Hale didn’t know how bored I had become as of late. I was tired of the predictable woman. They were mundane. Simple to figure out and easily influenced. Krystina was everything but those things.
I locked the desk drawers and then turned to power off the computer. Before I hit the shut down key, I reread the emails between Krystina and myself from earlier in the day.
My Angel.
Krystina had understandably been embarrassed, but there was no need for her to try to push me away.
Again.
I wouldn’t allow it to happen anymore. It was time to break through her defense mechanisms and tame the firecracker that she was. However, the path ahead was going to get rough, for I knew that Krystina wouldn’t go down without a fight.
CHAPTER 22
True to his word, Alexander sent Hale to pick me up promptly at seven o’clock. I was somewhat disappointed that Alexander wasn’t in the car, but the drive to the penthouse ended up being a short one. Alexander lived closer to me than I had realized.
When we arrived, Hale walked me through the lobby of the building, to the penthouse elevator, and inserted his key card. While we were waiting for the lift to arrive, I glanced over at the security desk and saw Jeffrey, the young man who had been so eager to please Alexander. He nodded his head politely when I caught his eye and I afforded him a small wave in return.
“Please step inside, Miss Cole. Mr. Stone is waiting for you. Enjoy your evening,” Hale said to me.
I looked up at him in surprise. That was the first time Hale had ever spoken directly to me. Even more shocking was the ghost of a smile that played on his lips. He was normally so stern and serious, that I was caught off guard.
I looked at him, I mean really looked at him, for the first time. He was much older than me, probably around fifty if I had to take a guess, and not nearly as menacing as I had originally thought. He had kind eyes, the sort of eyes that would light up with laughter given the opportunity. My guess was that Alexander didn’t give him much time for laughing.
The fact that Hale had suddenly found his voice had left me in a lurch and an uncomfortable silence settled between us. I had never given much thought about conversing with Hale, as I had always been so focused on Alexander.
Does Hale know about his boss’s alternative lifestyle? And if he knows, does he approve of it? What must he think about me?
As the new realization took root, I found it difficult to look at Hale in the eyes. The confidence that I had felt upon entering the building was suddenly gone, replaced by embarrassed insecurities. Words tumbled out of my mouth awkwardly.
“I, um…thanks, Hale,” I timidly returned, and quickly ducked into the waiting elevator.
The doors closed and I waited while the lift climbed. Alone, in the confined space of the elevator, my apprehension grew. I knew that I was being ridiculous, but I couldn’t control my wavering conviction. And it wasn’t just because of the awkwardness I had just experienced with Hale. After the research I did earlier today, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was walking blindly into a lion’s den.
I swallowed a lump that was beginning to form in my throat, as the elevator continued its ascent. The downward force of rising so quickly did nothing to help it, and the lump quickly settled into a knot in the pit of my stomach.
What am I doing? I must be crazy.
The elevator came to a halt and the doors slid open. Alexander was waiting for me. He was leaning against a wall, a diabolical expression on his handsome face.
“Good evening, Krystina,” he drawled out.
Just one look at him and I instantly paled. I struggled to control the tremble of nerves that threatened to take over.
I didn’t step into a lion’s den – it’s more like I casually strolled into the devil’s lair.
Pictures from the internet, combined with childhood nightmares of monsters and vampires, flashed in my mind. I had no trouble picturing Alexander wielding a whip, with me shackled to some dirty dungeon wall while a strange masked man sucked my blood.
“Krystina, what’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Alexander rushed to my side in alarm, his long legs closing the distance between us in a matter of seconds.
“It
’s nothing. I just…it’s nothing,” I said, shaking my head to rid my overactive imagination of the dark images.
This is real life, not some Stephen King flick.
“I hope you’re still not worried about being drunk last night, because I can assure you, it’s no big deal. It happens to the best of us,” he stated offhandedly.
Yeah, right.
I found it difficult to believe that the sophisticated Alexander Stone allowed himself to ever get drunk. Not even once.
“No, no – it’s not that,” I assured him, still feeling uneasy. “We just need to talk about some things, that’s all.”
“Come into the living room. I already have drinks poured and a fire going,” he said, gently taking hold of my elbow and guiding me over to one of the leather sofas.
The heat of the fire felt good, warming my suddenly cold and clammy hands. Once we were comfortably seated, Alexander handed me a glass of some sort of yellowish-brown liquid. Brandy, port, whiskey – it didn’t matter what it was. I took a huge gulp, experiencing the pungent syrupy taste as it went down. I allowed myself a minute to gather my thoughts, letting the warmth of the alcohol wash over me.
Alexander’s eyebrows rose in astonishment.
“Sorry,” I apologized sheepishly, and quickly set the drink on the coffee table.
“Krystina, just tell me what’s on your mind,” he demanded, but his concern was unmistakable. The way I half emptied my glass had understandably taken him by surprise. It even took me by surprise.
Drunk last night, pounding em’ down again tonight – at this rate, I’ll be in AA before the end of the week.
“I’m not sure where to start…” I trailed off.
“Take your time.” He watched me, patiently waiting for me to continue.
It’s okay. He needs to know and you need to have your questions answered.
I took a deep breath.
“Look, I haven’t been with anyone in two years…at least not sexually. And to be honest, I haven’t wanted to. Being alone has suited me just fine. I had no interest in relationships or dating, and even sex. Until I met you.”
“Krystina, if you want a relationship –.”
“Please, Alex. Just listen. I have to get this out,” I conveyed, holding up a hand to stop him from talking. “I’m not looking for some life long commitment – I’m good with just the sex. But you have to understand that agreeing to be with you is a huge step for me. It’s very important that we keep it simple – no strings attached. I’m not ready for any emotional attachments. I’m trusting that you’ll keep it that way.”
“I thought that’s what we already agreed on,” he voiced cautiously. “I’m not entirely sure where you’re going with this.”
“Last night things got a bit complicated. At least for me they did. You were right – I am extremely uneducated, especially on the whole BDSM thing. Up until this afternoon, I thought you just wanted to spank me and, well… you know. Play doctor or something,” I confessed.
My heart began to thud a rapid beat, quickened from nervous angst. My ignorance on the subject was beyond embarrassing, and I fought the flush that threatened to overtake me.
“Role playing can be a part of BDSM. It would depend on your preferences.” He was still somewhat guarded, and he waited tenaciously to see where I was going with my admission.
“Yeah, well…about those preferences. I did a little bit of research online today.”
Heat rose up my neck. As much as I tried, I couldn’t stop it. And when I saw his eyes widen with curious speculation, it only heightened my humiliation further, deepening the crimson that was slowly covering cheeks.
“And what exactly did you find, Krystina?”
“Lots of crazy shit. Toys, weird contraptions…you name it, I saw it. After seeing everything, I’m sort of confused now. I know that there are levels of BDSM, S&M – whatever you want to call it,” I rambled. “I just need to know exactly what level you are before I get involved any deeper. Because, I have to say, some of the crap I saw was pretty freaky.”
“Oh, no…” he said, his handsome face revealing true alarm. He ran his hands through his hair and stood to pace back and forth in front of the coffee table. “Look, I can only imagine what you saw and what you’re probably thinking. I’m not an extremist, so let’s be clear on that much at least.”
I breathed a sigh of relief, and my rapidly drumming pulse seemed to slow a bit. I didn’t truly believe that he was some twisted and demonic nympho that wanted to cause physical damage to me, but hearing him say it aloud gave me a bit of consolation at least.
“So, what level are you then?” I asked. I tried to keep the worry out of my voice, but it was hard feat to manage, since I wasn’t entirely sure what level I’d actually be comfortable with.
“I’m not really sure that I would classify myself a particular level. This sort of thing isn’t that clinical. It’s about what we agree to do together, and about what the submissive wants more than anything. Despite what you may have found online, BDSM is not abuse. At the end of the day, you are the one in control, Krystina. Not me.”
“Now you’re confusing me. How can I possibly be in control? I thought I was the one that was submitting to you.”
“You are. But it’s my job, as a Dom, to take care of you. I must be in tune with your needs in order to satisfy your every want and desire. If I’m not, and I make it all about me, then it is abuse.” The baffled look on my face was clear. He stopped pacing, stepped up to me and rested his hands reassuringly on my shoulders. “Forget about the nonsense that you saw online and think about it seriously for a minute. Yes, I enjoy the high I feel when I’m in control, and knowing that I have the power to push you to your breaking point. But at any given moment, you can call everything to a halt. I may be the one who wields the whip, but you control the limits just by using a safe word.”
My stomach dropped at the thought of him using a whip, and I found myself wincing.
At least I know what a safe word is…thank god for online research.
“I can’t just say ‘no’?” I asked, trying to keep the fear that I felt out of my voice.
“The word ‘no’ can be misunderstood, especially in a role playing scenario. Picking a safe word is better.”
“But what if I’m tied up and helpless? You said that you might push me to do things that I don’t want to do. How can I trust that you’ll stop even if I do use a safeword?”
“That’s the reason why I told you that submission is hard. It’s not about making you do things that you don’t want to. It’s about exploring together. I can show you the way, but you’ll need to trust me” he said softly, leaning forward to brush a curly tendril of hair from my forehead. “I’m giving you my word. I would never push you further than you were willing to go, Krystina.”
I looked up searchingly at his face and tried to find something, anything that would give me insight as to what he was thinking. There was nothing sinister and evil in his sapphire eyes, only patience and understanding.
“I believe you,” I told him. And that was the truth, as much as it astounded me. I was shocked at my ability to trust him so easily, a man that I barely knew. But even so, we weren’t finished just yet. “There’s still more we need to talk about, Alex.”
“What other questions do you have?”
“I don’t have more questions, per say. Just a few things that we need to sort out. You gave me an idea last night when you talked about women requiring non-disclosure agreements.” I leaned down to retrieve a pen and the list that I made from my purse that was on the floor by my feet.
“Is that what you want?”
He sounded surprised.
“Oh, no. It’s nothing like that. It’s more like a set of rules to follow if we are going to…um, do this.” I was suddenly second guessing my stupid idea. I thrust the computer printout at him before I could change my mind. “Here – I made a list. Just read it.”
He took the list from my outst
retched hand and reclaimed his seat next to me on the sofa. He silently read over the catalog of stipulations. When he finished, he looked at me, mild humor sparkling in his eyes.
“So, that’s it?” he asked, placing the paper on the coffee table.
He was trying to suppress a smile, but I ignored him and continued on.
“I think I covered the basics. You just need to write down any requirements that you might have. See, I left you a blank space right here,” I finished all business-like, pointing to the blank lines on the paper with my pen.
“You didn’t include anything about your limitations, Krystina. That’s sort of important,” he said dryly. “My interests in the bedroom aren’t exactly mainstream. Can you think of anything that you might be opposed to?”
Blood. Pain.
I looked searchingly into his eyes, trying to find the right words to explain what I was feeling without exposing my underlying fears.
Stop it – he said that he wouldn’t hurt you. Trust him.
“Um…I don’t know. Like what?” I asked, attempting to be open-minded.
“You did the research. How about restraints –.”
“No – don’t say it!” I burst out. I was suddenly seized with overwhelming panic at the idea of actually discussing this out loud. “Write it down please. It will make it easier for me.”
He instantly appeared amused, although he didn’t actually laugh. He didn’t have to – the look on his face alone spoke volumes and told me that I was being ridiculous. I felt like a teenager trying to avoid the sex talk with a parent. It was absurd. My only rational defense was that if I read his not-so-normal preferences, I would be able to keep my composure if anything surprised me.
“Okay, I’ll play this your way if it means I get to strip you out of those clothes,” he said suggestively with a wink. However, his blue eyes were alight with laughter, the truth in them cutting through his rudimentary comment, as he picked up the list again.
I should have been upset that he found the situation funny, but I wasn’t. Even his salacious remark didn’t register on my radar. I could only focus on one thing – the ball of nerves bouncing around in the pit of my stomach as I waited for him to write.
Heart of Stone Page 21
