by Sammie Joyce
“Addy!”
I spun around and tried to give him a weak smile.
“I-I won’t say anything,” I promised and I meant it. I didn’t want to see him hunted the way this bear had hunted me. At the same time, I doubted I could ever look at Inigo the same way again.
I hurried off down the path but even as I moved, I knew that Inigo was at my side, watching me until I was safely in the Uber car, ten minutes later. Despite all I’d just learned about him, the knowledge that he was always watching made me feel safe—even if I could never be with him.
18
Inigo
When I returned to the scene, half the Council had already flocked upon the shifter, who seemed to have issues holding his human form for long periods of time.
“Oh for gods’ sake,” Nia snarled. “Would someone please find some wolfsbane and feed it to him? I’m going cross-eyed watching him shift back and forth.”
One of Amity’s subordinates hurried off to find some in the woods and I turned to Marcel, who was still trying to catch his breath after the encounter.
“Who the hell is this guy?” I demanded. “Has he said anything?”
“He keeps muttering about death to all humans but I don’t think he’s even rogue. I think he’s just mentally ill. He has a southern drawl and I don’t think he’s from around here. We won’t know much until he’s assessed by the doctors.”
I exhaled, slightly relieved to know that we weren’t dealing with a rogue sleuth or something more sinister but I was still worried about Cronin. I turned to my comrades.
“Have you guys got it under control? There’s something I need to take care of.”
Actually, there were a couple things I needed to take care of but Cronin was still heavily on my mind.
Marcel shrugged and nodded, gesturing toward the ever-increasing group of shifters.
“Yeah, I think he’s outnumbered now. He’s not going anywhere.”
I paused to look at the bear, who grinned maniacally around like the entire situation was amusing, but I felt sick to my stomach. One being had caused so much chaos to a relatively peaceful community for what?
I gritted my teeth, the urge to strike him again overwhelming me, but I remembered what Marcel had said about his mental state.
Without another word, I pivoted and headed back toward the entrance of the park to find my Jeep where I’d left my cell phone. On a whim, I tried Cronin’s number again. To my surprise, it didn’t go straight through to voicemail this time, even though he didn’t answer.
Excitement surged through me and I put on the “Track My Phone” feature, typing in Cronin’s information. We’d exchanged personal passwords years ago, just in case, and if there was ever a time to use it, I felt this was it.
My eyes widened more when I realized that his phone was at his house and before I could change my mind, I started the car and headed over.
His car was in the driveway of his modest bungalow but that didn’t mean much, seeing as he had been on foot earlier.
I pounded on his door with relentless determination. I wasn’t going to let him ignore me, not tonight, not after the scare he’d given me.
When I’d come upon the bear going after Addy, a red film had covered my eyes. I didn’t care that I was in my wolf form or that I might hurt my best friend with an attack. All that mattered was saving Addisyn—even if that meant killing Cronin in the process.
To say I felt relief to realize it hadn’t been him was the biggest understatement I’d ever uttered. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself knowing I’d harmed Cronin—even if he might have deserved it.
But that didn’t mean Cronin was off the hook. He was hiding something, something big, and I was going to find out the truth, even if I lost a friend for it. I hated that I had second-guessed him but that meant we had a bigger problem—our relationship wasn’t as solid as it had once been.
“Jesus Christ, Inigo!” Cronin snapped, throwing open the door to glower at me. “It’s four o’clock in the goddamn morning!”
“I’m well aware of what time it is,” I snapped back, pushing past him to let myself into the house. “You know why I know? Because I’ve been up all night, looking for you!”
Cronin hurried after me, his face paling.
“This isn’t a good time, In. C-can we talk about this in the morning?”
“And you know why I’ve been looking for you all night?” I continued, ignoring his plea. “Because of that bear—”
A hand slapped over my mouth and Cronin began to shake his head vigorously, the panic on his face evident. It took me several seconds to understand the problem.
I pushed his hand away from my face and lowered my voice, my eyes darting around for evidence of another being. Then I saw the small women’s running shoes and hot pink purse by the coffee table.
“You’re not alone.”
It wasn’t a question and Cronin nodded, his shoulders sagging visibly as he saw that I understood.
“Shit, Cro,” I muttered, suddenly embarrassed. “Fine. But we’re having a frank discussion tomorrow. You can’t just get the shift—”
Again, he slapped a palm over my mouth and my eyes widened in confusion.
In a voice so low, I barely heard him, Cronin whispered, “Don’t say anything about shifters.”
My eyeballs almost popped clear out of my head as I fully understood what he was saying. I shoved his arm away and grabbed his arm, dragging him toward the door. He struggled against me but I didn’t let him go until we were on the front porch.
“You have a human woman in there?” I hissed, almost unable to keep my tone down. He nodded, hanging his head in shame.
“After everything, you’re bringing home a human booty call?” I insisted, ensuring that I had my facts right.
You’re not one to preach on this subject, a little voice taunted me but I quickly silenced it. This was about Cronin, not me.
“She’s not a booty call!” Cronin growled defensively. “I-I love her.”
Air expelled from my lungs as I heard the truth of his words and when I studied his face, I understood exactly how he felt. Suddenly, his secretiveness made sense, his sneaking off alone and the incredible tension he’d been feeling. He was trying to protect his lover.
I get that.
Cronin looked shocked when my face twisted into a smile and I clapped him on the back, pulling him into a hug.
“That’s great, man,” I told him, falling back to grin happily at him. “That’s really great.”
Confusion shadowed his eyes.
“It’s not great when the Council finds out,” he muttered. “They think I’m a danger to humans.”
“Not anymore,” I told him. “We caught the real killer. You’re in the clear. I’m sure they’ll lift the sanctions about shifter/human contact soon.”
He eyed me dubiously.
“It’s not that simple and you know it,” he sighed but I noted the slight look of relief on his face.
“Maybe not,” I agreed. “But I have faith that we can get past the old-school ways of the Council yet.”
“We?” Cronin snickered. “Are you going to bat for me again?”
I shook my head.
“No, Cro. I’m going to bat for us.”
Cronin opened his mouth to ask what I meant but he didn’t get a chance to ask because the front door opened and I was staring at a tiny blonde.
“Cronin?” she murmured, giving me a wary look. “Is everything okay?”
Cronin turned to smile at his girl.
“Yeah, babe. This is Inigo.”
I extended a hand toward her and she relaxed slightly, realizing there was no trouble.
“Sorry I came by so early. I just wanted to give Cronin some good news. I didn’t mean to wake you up.”
She shook her head and smiled at me.
“No bother. I just woke up and realized I was alone,” she laughed, looking adoringly at Cronin. I felt stupid, grinning at the two, but I w
as pleased for them, no matter what the Council had to say about it.
“That’s an unsettling feeling,” I agreed, turning to leave. “Cro, I’ll talk to you at a more decent hour.”
I hopped down the steps and paused, glancing over my shoulder.
“Sorry, I didn’t catch your name,” I realized. The blonde laughed and pretended to slap her forehead with her palm.
“Right. I’m Vanessa. Vanessa Richards.”
19
Addisyn
Unsurprisingly, I didn’t sleep when I got home. Every time I closed my eyes, I envisioned the bear who had become a man, jumping at me, ready to end my life.
I saw my mother, lying lifeless on the floor, her eyes glassy for the last time.
I felt Inigo’s concern, the flick of his tail sending me back and out of harm’s way.
None of these made for a good sleeping cocktail.
I remained on the sofa, long after the sun came up, my cell on my belly as I waited for it to ring, for text notifications to go off. I thought Vanessa called in to work for me because I sure didn’t, but she also didn’t text me until late in the morning.
I’m taking a break at work. Can I bring you something to eat?
I tried to remember the last time I’d eaten anything but I couldn’t. Still, the mere thought of food made me queasy.
I’m good.
Instantly, she began to type again and I stifled a sigh, waiting for a diatribe, but when her next message came through, it was shockingly short.
Okay. Here if you need me.
But she wasn’t the one I wanted, the one I needed. He was off doing whatever werewolves did.
Not werewolves. Lycans.
I had so many questions, so much I wanted to know, but did I really? The only way I was going to get those answers was through Inigo and I wasn’t sure I would be able to keep it together if I saw him again.
At least not right now.
I was doing everything I could to keep it together in those moments as it was and I hadn’t even gotten off the couch to deal with Odessa’s funeral arrangements.
Maybe I should have taken Van up on coming over. I was going to need all the help I could acquire over the next few days. I thought about what had happened the last time I’d sent her away. I was still bleeding from cuts all over my body.
But you’ve done it alone for this long. Why bother anyone else?
Around noon, the doorbell rang and I ignored it, but when my text chimed, I sat up, running my hands through my hair.
He was there, at my house.
I couldn’t ignore him… could I?
I knew if I did, I wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it. I jumped off the sofa and moved toward the door, knowing exactly how I must look. Every step I took was painful, my bones and skin aching alike.
Inigo looked shocked when he saw me but he wisely made no comment.
“Hey,” he said. “Can I come in for a minute?”
I waited for my instinct to tell me to slam the door in his face, to run away and hide, but standing beneath his warm gaze, I wanted to do nothing but throw myself into his arms and bury my face in his chest.
“Sure.”
I opened the French glass door wider and let him in, turning away to lead us back into the living room.
“Jesus, Addy! Your back!” he gasped, rushing after me. “You need to go to a hospital or something.”
“I’m fine,” I muttered, flopping back onto the sofa, unable to meet his eyes. “What’s up?”
“No,” he said firmly, folding his arms over his chest. “Where is your bathroom?”
I frowned.
“You came here to use the bathroom?”
His scowl deepened.
“Addy…”
“There’s a powder room under the stairs and two upstairs, one in the master bedroom and one—”
He didn’t let me finish, his footfalls on the stairs drowning out the last of my words. I didn’t question what he was doing. Whatever he was going to say, whatever he’d come to explain, it didn’t matter. I couldn’t do this. Not now and probably not ever.
A few minutes later, he returned, his arms full of items he’d found in the cabinets upstairs.
“Take off your shirt,” he instructed. I fully opened my eyes and looked at him.
“Addy,” he sighed. “Those cuts are going to get infected. If you won’t go to a hospital, at least let me clean you up.”
I nodded slowly, knowing that arguing with him would only be a sign of stubbornness. I couldn’t afford to get sick, not now.
“Where’s Odessa?” he asked after I’d slipped off my blouse and he’d turned me to study the gashes on my back.
“Dead,” I replied bluntly. “Died last night. Right there on my kitchen floor.”
Inigo’s hands froze on my shoulders. Slowly, he turned me toward him, his face wrought with distress.
“Are you being serious right now?”
I smirked mirthlessly.
“Unfortunately,” I replied flatly but I could feel the well of tears forming in the back of my throat. “She overdosed.”
“Oh Addy…” The compassion in his voice only made me feel worse and I shook my head, willing the tears not to fall from my eyes.
“It doesn’t matter,” I mumbled but it did matter. It mattered far more than I ever wanted to admit. It mattered that I was truly alone now and that the only person I wanted to be with was some kind of creature.
A creature who continues to save you, even though you keep pushing him away.
“I wish you’d called me,” Inigo breathed, resuming the task of cleaning my wounds.
“Why?” I said sarcastically. “I’m just a one-night stand, remember?”
“Addy, I shouldn’t have said that,” he conceded. “But I was hurt that you were shutting me out and there were other factors at play too.”
“There are always other factors,” I agreed. “That’s why it’s better not to go there.”
Inigo was silent as he continued what he was doing. The alcohol burned but he gently blew on the broken skin, easing the sensation considerably, and I closed my eyes, the sadness overcoming me.
“I’m sorry for everything that’s happened,” he murmured. “And I know you feel very confused and alone right now but I want you to know that I’m here if you need me.”
He hadn’t been there last night.
Consternation swam through me as I tried to make sense of the emotions I was feeling. I wanted to apologize too, to tell him I accepted him for whatever he was, but I wasn’t sure if that was true.
I shrank away from him and reached for my filthy silky blouse, covering myself modestly before turning back to him.
“Thank you,” I said stiffly. “I appreciate it.”
Hurt shadowed his eyes and he rose without being asked, sensing that I was asking him to leave.
“I know you already promised last night,” he said, almost as an afterthought. “But I don’t need to tell you that we can’t be exposed.”
I nodded, again remembering the hundred thousand questions I had about who he was and where he’d come from, but I couldn’t bring myself to ask him, not then. I was at capacity for all I could handle.
“I won’t say anything to anyone,” I assured him. After all, who would I tell? Vanessa would never believe me.
“I mean it, Addy,” he breathed, pausing at the threshold. “I’ll always be here for you.”
I couldn’t meet his eyes but I again bobbed my head.
“Okay.”
Through my peripheral vision, I saw him stare at me for a moment longer before showing himself to the front door. I waited for the door to close before collapsing onto the sofa and finally allowing myself to dissolve into the sobs I’d been yearning to release, probably since the day I was born.
I’d wanted to be alone and alone I was.
* * *
I did end up calling on Vanessa after I’d wiped away the last of my tears and showered,
wincing as the water fell into the endless cuts on my feet, legs, and back. I tried to pretend that the drops were Inigo’s warm fingers on me but there was no replacement for that.
I didn’t know if I was being stubborn or smart by sending Inigo away but I knew without a doubt that I wasn’t in the headspace to deal with what he had presented me.
At least not until I’d buried my mother.
“I don’t know the first thing about this stuff,” I told Van as we wandered through the funeral home. She patted my back reassuringly.
“Just don’t go into debt burying Odie,” she told me. “You already spent enough money keeping her alive.”
I knew that Van wasn’t trying to be crass but her words weren’t exactly tender.
“Cremation is a very affordable option,” the funeral director offered and I nodded in agreement. Aside from Vanessa, I couldn’t imagine who else would show for Odessa’s service. There was no point in buying an expensive casket and going overboard, not that I was opposed to spending the money. But Van did have a point—I had already spent more than enough money on Odessa and for what? What had those therapy and rehab sessions done for her?
I didn’t let myself go there. Odessa was gone, just like Inigo was gone.
“Can I tell you a secret?” Vanessa asked after I’d signed off on everything and we were headed back to the car. I eyed her.
“That depends,” I replied honestly. “Is it going to make me want to take Xanax?”
“Nah,” Van laughed. “It’s about me. I have a secret lover.”
At first I thought she had somehow found out about Inigo and was making fun of me but when I stared at her face, I saw nothing but pleasure and happiness. It sent a spring of envy through me.
Run away! Secret lovers are nothing but trouble! I wanted to scream, but of course I didn’t let my cynicism ruin her glee.
“Why is he a secret?” I asked slowly. She giggled and leaned across the center console, winking conspiratorially.
“I think he’s in the CIA or something,” she told me in a stage whisper. “He’s got people coming to his house at all hours of the morning and he sneaks me around at night.”
