by E A Price
“Idiot.” But it was said with affection.
“Idiot who you love, and who loves you back,” he told her, sincerely.
“Damn right you do,” she huffed. “And when we get out of here we are going to have lots and lots of sex because my heat is going to start tomorrow, so you better drink plenty of fluids and eventually I am going to bite that pretty neck of yours to show everyone that you belong to me.”
“Kinky.”
She licked her pink tongue over her sharp teeth. “Says the guy who lusts after a tiger.”
“She’s one hell of a tiger. And to be clear, I have no intention of killing you or leaving you. I’m pretty certain we can find a happy medium.”
Isis pinned him with a heated look that definitely should not have sent his arousal skyrocketing – given their situation – but it did. Plus, she was actually naked. Igor might not have noticed, but Raf couldn’t help but stare. “But we have to get out of here first.”
Okay, that kind of deflated him. “Before Igor decides to kill us.”
“Is that Igor Kazinsky?”
“Sure is.”
Isis started wiggling against her own bonds. “Thought he was dead. He smells dead. That’s the smell from the cemeteries.”
“He is dead.” Raf quickly explained about Igor’s resurrection, and the fact that he was indeed alive again and not just a zombie.
“What happened to his speech pattern? When he came at me upstairs, he just yelled ‘Igor stop you’. Kind of weird.”
“He was hardly verbose before this happened to him, but I’m guessing he lost a few brain synapses what with being dead and all.”
She groaned as she flicked out her claws and tried to angle them to cut the rope. No such luck. Igor seemed very adept at tying people up; clearly he’d had plenty of practice. “Fuck, now we have to worry about bad guys coming back from the grave? Seems like an unfair advantage. So what’s with all the corpse theft? She trying to build another one?”
“Not sure, we never got around to that.”
“I called Howler on the way here, asked him why she attacked him. Apparently, she has cuckoo before it happened.”
“Mentally ill,” supplied Raf.
Isis smirked. “Sure, except she was living with her mother who made sure she took her medication. Then after the mother died, Leslie stopped taking her pills, and she went a little off the rails. She started stalking one of her co-workers at Forever Young and thought they were in love. She actually tried to set a date for their wedding and invited people to attend.”
“LLPD doesn’t have a record of her stalking anyone.”
“Look around you, she’s rich. Howler said she didn't even cash her paychecks - she doesn’t need to. She only works because she enjoys it. Her lawyer paid off this guy not to take out a restraining order against her. Howler said the guy was a bit of a dick and liked to steal other men’s wives. He started actually taking an interest in Leslie, because of her wealth until the lawyer paid him to stay away and not report her to the police.”
“Sounds like a real prince.”
“Well, he got his comeuppance; he was murdered by his girlfriend’s husband – some other guy who worked at Forever Young. But that made Leslie worse. She attacked Howler because he was trying to be kind and tell her that this guy, Mork or Mark or something, was never in love with her. Blamed Howler for not preventing his death. After that, she went into an asylum, to recuperate. After a few months, she got out and asked for her job back. Howler agreed because she offered to waive her salary and gave them a huge donation.”
“So where do all the dead bodies fit into this?”
“Good question, let’s…”
Isis stilled and growled as Leslie walked through the door, followed by her shadow, Igor. “Oh, good you’re awake. Are you okay?”
“No!” spat Isis in disbelief. “That dumbass bear knocked me out; now I’m freezing my gorgeous, round ass off, tied to this chair.”
Igor grunted, and Leslie placed a tiny, comforting hand on his massive chest.
“I’m thorry Agent Martin, truly I am. But you gave uth no choice. I can’t let you interfere with what I have planned.”
“Alright, I’ll bite. What do you have planned?”
Igor growled, and Leslie rubbed his chest, she almost had him purring like a kitten. It was disturbing.
“I thuppose it couldn’t hurt to tell you…” Leslie said, with almost child-like glee. On the other hand, Igor’s face took on a look of thunderous anger.
The doctor walked over to the other side of the lab and pulled open one of the drawers, revealing a corpse. “Thith ith Mark. We were thupposed to be together, but thomeone took him away from me. But after I revived Igor, I realized I could do the thame thing for Mark.” She caressed the dead man’s cheek, oblivious to the rumbles escaping Igor’s chest.
“But you have his body, why steal more?” It was just one of the questions Raf had rattling around at that moment. The situation invited a lot more.
Leslie smiled sadly. “By the time I got hold of him, hith body had thtarted to decay. I have had to replace partth of him. At firtht it didn’t work becauth I wath replacing him with human partth, but then I realized, the reathon Igor thurvived wath becauth he wath a thifter. Tho, we have been acquiring thifter bodies to replace him, and he’th ready now. Tonight we’ll be reunited.” She almost clapped her hands and danced a jig. The other three people in the room were less excited; two of them were freaked out about the idea of a man coming back to life sporting body parts from numerous different shifters, the other had his own reasons. “I’m going to prep the machine.”
Isis arched an eyebrow. “The machine?”
“Yeth, it’th like a big defibrillator. It will pump electricity through hith body and reanimate him. I got the idea after reading Frankenthtein and watching an epithode of Diagnothith Murder. It’th going to be great.” She almost skipped to the door, but paused and looked back at Raf and Isis. “Don’t worry, I’ve decided to find a witch to wipe your memorieth. You’ll temporarily forget you were ever here, and when you remember, me, Mark and Igor will be long gone.” She smiled reassuring and left them with Igor, which was less reassuring.
Isis flashed a cocky smile, and Raf immediately felt very worried. He loved Isis, he really did but did he think she might tend toward arrogance just a smidge? Well, yes. Riling up the enormous dead bear might not exactly be the best option. He tried to shake his head at her, but she ignored him completely.
“Bet you’re not too pleased about this, big guy?” she cooed.
Igor let out a throaty growl and glowered at Isis, turning his back to Raf. He noticed the bear had pushed Raf’s gun into his waistband. If he could just get hold of it…
She pouted, mockingly. “You ready to share Leslie with Mark? Is that your thing – threesomes?”
The huge bear roared and moved towards her.
“Think Leslie and Mark will want you with them?” chirped Raf, determined to get his focus away from Isis.
Nostrils flaring, he swung back to Raf.
“Three’s a crowd,” taunted Isis, in a sing-song voice.
“What use will Leslie have for you when she has Mark back?” cried Raf.
Igor whipped his focus back and forth between Raf and Isis so rapidly that it was a wonder that he didn’t suffer whiplash.
“Leslie not leave Igor,” rumbled the bear.
“You sure about that, buddy?” jeered Isis. “You sure she won’t just say ‘thorry Igor, thith ith thaynora’? and run off with Mark?”
Igor howled at her and stomped over to her, picking her up to yell at her, chair and all. “Shut up!” he screamed into her snarling face.
“You’re not angry at us, are you?” said Raf, quietly. “You’re angry at him.” Raf did his best to nod at the drawer containing Mark, or the reconstituted body of someone called Mark that Leslie happened to have a fixation on. Seemed somewhat unlikely that most of the body was still Mark’s.
/>
The bear’s mighty chest rose and fell dramatically. “Mark take Leslie from Igor. Igor hate Mark. Leslie Igor’s female.”
Trying not to shudder too much at that image. “I don’t blame you, big guy,” soothed Raf. “No one wants to lose their female.” Igor nodded, understanding. “The tiger, she’s my female.”
Isis let out a noise of disgust. But Igor did at least put her back down on the floor. “Igor not kill your female.”
“Thank you,” he said, really meaning it. Isis tightened her lips; he took that to mean that she thought she was perfectly capable of handling the situation. He had no doubt she was; he just didn’t want to risk it. Her way of handling him probably wasn’t as subtle as his way.
Igor appeared lost in his thoughts for a few moments before, growing impatient Isis snapped him out of it. “So what are you going to do?”
“You can’t let her bring that man back to life,” murmured Raf, in low tones. “Whatever that is; it isn’t this Mark guy anymore. She may have brought you back, but you were hardly dead,” he winced as he said that, “and that thing has more spare parts that a rebuilt Thunderbird.”
“Yeah, and it’s not like that guy Mark even cared about her,” added Isis, conspiratorially.
Igor was horrified. “Mark not love Leslie?”
“Uh-huh. Leslie loved Mark, but Mark was having an affair with a married woman, and her husband killed him. Mark took money from Leslie’s lawyer to leave her alone.”
“Mark not love Leslie,” declared Igor with a grim smile. “Mark not live… again.” He paused. “But Leslie love Mark.” His massive brow furrowed as he tried to work out the conundrum.
“Think about it, Igor. If Mark doesn’t love Leslie, what do you think he’s going to do to her when he wakes up? He’s not exactly going to be thrilled to see her, is he?”
“Mark hurt Leslie?” said Igor, slowly. You could almost see his mind ticking over. Being dead probably hadn’t been good for his brain. Although, on reflection, his violent tendencies actually seemed to have lessened.
“Are you willing to risk it?” asked Raf.
“No,” growled the bear.
Igor stretched to his full height, which was actually a whopping seven feet and two inches and marched over to the drawer containing Mark’s body. He pulled it out and, ahem, started disassembling it. Raf had seen a lot of things in his time on the force, and he would never consider himself squeamish but… no, that just wasn’t right. He looked away, instead focusing on Isis. The sight of her delectable body was enough to make him forget what Igor was up to. Almost.
“Gross,” muttered Isis and she looked into Raf’s eyes. He seconded that sentiment.
Of course, this didn’t solve the problem of how they were going to get out of there. Maybe Igor would let them go, but it seemed unlikely. He was getting rid of a supposed love rival so he could have Leslie to himself, if he let Raf and Isis go, they would just come back with reinforcements and arrest the two of them for stealing the bodies in the first place. Igor wouldn’t get to be with Leslie if he were in a prison cell. Even he, with his slow moving brain, would come to that conclusion eventually.
Plans were put on hold though, as Leslie walked into the room grinning only to let out a high-pitch shriek. “Igor! What are you doing? Thtop!”
“No,” grunted the bear. “Mark not love Leslie. Mark not live.”
She scurried over to him and pulled at his arm. He abruptly pulled back and sent her flying across the room. He howled as he saw what he had done to her and ran to her, knocking over Isis in the process.
“Leslie…” he whined.
“Isis!” cried Raf. He relaxed when she nodded that she was okay.
Leslie moaned and rubbed her head. Igor reached a brawny hand to her face, and she whimpered and ducked away from him. Then Raf and Isis witnessed first-hand something that no one else in the world knew – Igor Kazinsky was actually capable of crying. Tears rolled down his cheeks as Leslie quivered in fear before him.
“Igor love Leslie. Igor not hurt Leslie. Leslie not cry.”
She hiccupped and gaped at him in shock. “What do you mean, Igor?”
“Seriously? You didn’t understand what he meant; he talked so slowly all of us got it.”
A triumphant Isis stood over them training Raf’s gun on the two of them. After been knocked to the ground, she had found a better angle to slice through her ropes. While attention was drawn to Igor and Leslie, she had managed to sneak up on them with her natural feline grace and had swiped the gun out of the back of Igor’s jeans.
Igor snarled, and Isis growled in return. “Not one move, ginormo, or I start shooting.” He huffed but then froze as the gun wavered towards Leslie. “You might be able to walk away from a bullet wound, but I doubt your girlfriend can.”
Raf worried Igor was about to lunge; he doubted there were enough bullets in the gun to even make a dent in the undead bear. But Igor softened as Leslie curled her hand around his. “Don’t,” she whispered. And holy hell, he actually listened! He sunk back down to the floor and was sitting next to Leslie as quiet as a church mouse.
Isis waited a few beats, just to check he wasn’t going to do anything, before moving back and slicing through Raf’s ropes. Raf jumped up from the table, and they hugged, although Isis didn’t remove her focus from their now apprehended grave robbers.
“I love you,” Raf breathed.
“I love you, too,” murmured Isis.
His heart beat ferociously, and the love, the connection between them seemed almost palpable.
Not wanting to miss out, Igor decided to press his suit again. “Igor love Leslie.”
She stared at him with her huge eyes. “But why?”
The question seemed to stump him, and he fell silent with a grumpy frown on his face.
“How could you do thith to Mark?” she asked, oddly more curious than sorrowful.
“Leslie,” said Raf, gently. “That guy Mark didn’t love you.”
Leslie looked confused for a second, before shaking her head obstinately. “No, we were meant to be together. I’m thure of it.”
Igor let out a moan like a dying animal and Isis snapped at him to pull himself together. “Look Leslie. Mark was a tool. He got killed because he was banging someone else’s wife. Your lawyer paid him money to stay away from you and not take out a restraining order against you. Okay? He didn’t want anything to do with you. You just thought he did because you’re crazy beans, and you haven’t been taking your medication. And as for this whole bringing people back to life thing – it’s incredibly dumbass crazy.”
Her burly bear protector let out an affronted roar, but Leslie kept her hand on his. She closed her eyes, digesting Isis’ words.
“Geez, have you ever thought about being a therapist?” teased Raf as his finger slid down her back. He should probably find her some clothes to wear. But she didn’t seem in the least embarrassed by her nudity, and nobody else in the room seemed to notice. Maybe he should just enjoy it for a little while longer.
“Nah, too much talk about feelings. I’ve only had two jobs. This one and before that I was a lifeguard. I still have the red costume and everything.”
“Really?” Oh, that stirred something in him. “Maybe one day you can run down a beach for me slowly?”
“Only if you ask me nicely.”
Leslie let out a long breath and opened her eyes. “You’re right. We were never… he wathn’t… I jutht thought… you’re right.”
Isis tapped her foot. “Glad that’s cleared up.”
The doctor rubbed her forehead. “I’m thorry for what I did, Igor. Killing you and then bringing you back to life. The tiger’th right, that wath dumbath crazy.”
The bear clasped her hand. “No. Igor was bad man. You killed bad man. Igor better now. Igor love you.”
Tears poured out of her wide eyes. “You do?” Hell, she actually looked flattered by his admission.
“Igor love Leslie. Leslie is… lov
able.”
“Oh, Igor!” She threw herself at the huge bear; her tiny body was enveloped by his giant arms and they began kissing.
“Ugh!” exclaimed Isis. “So sick and wrong!”
Raf turned her face away from him. He figured they wouldn’t be going anywhere. Instead, he focused on pressing kisses into Isis’ hair. “You okay?” he murmured, running his hands over her, checking for injury again. Hey, another might have popped up since his first check.
“Fuck no! This whole thing is so fucking weird! I can never un-see this.” She cringed at she caught sight of Igor and Leslie kissing and cuddling.
He chuckled as he clutched her body a little tighter. “Yeah, can’t argue there. I love you, though.”
“Yeah, me, too.”
And just to make the day complete, the SEA tactical team chose that moment to burst into the lab.
Chapter Twenty-Two
“You and a human?” Avery smirked and handed her a t-shirt.
Isis snatched it and pulled it over her head as Ms. Kitty harrumphed at the lioness. “So what? Hmmm, this t-shirt feels a little loose. Someone been hitting Happy Heart Donuts a little too hard?” She fluttered her eyelashes at the lioness.
They were back at the SEA offices. The SEA tactical team, led by a particularly brusque arctic wolf shifter called Lake and Smith, the tiger shifter who gave Isis a very wide berth while pretending he wasn’t covering his crotch, arrested Leslie and Igor. They brought the couple back to the SEA to work out just what the heck was going on. Of course, when Isis was hurrying to Leslie’s house she called for backup. She didn’t wait for backup to arrive; her honey was in trouble and time was of the essence. But she called for it. Hey, she was cocky, but she didn’t think she was invincible.
Leslie unsurprisingly confessed to everything. Shooting Igor, reanimating him, stealing Mark’s body, trying to reanimate him, stealing more body parts, and trying to reanimate Mark again before finally technically taking Raf and Isis hostage. Igor wouldn’t talk except to say ‘Igor want Leslie’. He was an undead bear with a one-track mind.
They found the remaining body parts – the parts she didn’t use - in Leslie’s freezer. She said she was keeping them in case she needed them. That made everyone shudder. She had Igor dispose of the human arms, though because she didn’t need them again.
